[zeph] Zeph's First Awakening
- ZEPH & FRENS #1
Zeph's First Awakening
25/12/94- It is Christmas Day. The holiday of the year but Zeph had clearly
forgotten about it. So he was on the last escalator up to Lido 5 Cineplex at
3.40pm to get a ticket for 4pm's "Dumb & Dumber". He was his old
happy-go-lucky self. All the way up he looked downwards at the people
dressed in their colourful clothes doing colourful things. Shopping and
window-shopping. The playing of the images reflecting on the mirror
escalator sides was fascinating. The heart of Orchard. The young
Singaporeans' "capital" of Singapore. On the last step up, he looked up. A
wall of people barricaded him. It was a long queue. He was bewildered for a
while. After sweeping a few glances, he went to the down escalator. For some
reason he didn't try to understand, his friends wanted to see some other
dumb movie that day. But that was okay, though he didn't try to understand
why. He didn't exactly feel disappointed with them. All he wanted to do that
day was to laugh his head off. He always knew he had choice. Sometimes he
just doesn't follow the crowd. A kind of freedom- of choice. Maybe he isn't
happy-go-lucky after all.
On the last step of the last escalator down, the phrase "unhappy-go-unlucky"
came to his mind for no particular reason he knew. The time is 3.45pm. At
the entrance-exit of Shaw House, a few steps from the escalator, Zeph was
stunned. He tried to shake the feeling off by hurrying a few steps forward.
Out of the shadow of the building. He stood still again. The feeling would
not go off. There was nowhere to rush to rid the feeling- he was dead sure.
For the first time in his life, he realised he was all alone. Thoroughly
alone, and lonely in a crowd. Christmas Eve night he had already hung out
all night with his friends in Orchard. The heart of Christmas is here. It is
not really boredom. Just a startling realisation that he now has nothing in
particular to do. All day he looked forward to seeing the movie. No plans on
what to do after. He stood on- why should he move when he had nowhere to go
to. His heart started racing. I'm neither hungry nor thirsty. I'm not
sleepy. I don't want to see any other movie. I always loved swimming but not
now. Why? He could feel the cold of his cold sweat in the heat of the
sweltering sun. So many emotions all at once. Shock, fear, disappointment
and something unnameable. An overwhelming sense of urgency- adrenaline
pumping to bursting...
[To be Continued in #2]
Please feel free to share with us your thoughts on the above
From the editor of TheDailyEnlightenment
http://www.egroups.com/group/thedailyenlightenment ) comes a new OPEN
Dharma mailing list: "Zeph & Frens." ( http://www.egroups.com/group/zeph/ )
This is a Sharing-Discussion Mailing List on the Spiritual Adventures of a
semi-fictitious Buddhist called Zeph and his Friends, including you and me.
Join in the discussions and be a Spiritual Fren to others on the List!
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