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The 1st Existential Crisis You'd Ever Had

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  • !Namo@mituofO!
    Apologies to friends who had already recieved this :-[ ________________________________________________ The 1st Existential Crisis You d Ever Had
    Message 1 of 1 , Jan 29, 2001
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      Apologies to friends who had already recieved this :-[
      ________________________________________________
      The 1st Existential Crisis You'd Ever Had
      ________________________________________________
       
      (An "Existential Crisis" is a personal situation where one realizes
      one is at a loss to the significance, meaning and purpose of one's existence)
      ____________________
      Prelude Quotation (1)
       
      "When I consider the short duration of my life,
      swallowed up in the eternity before and after,
      the little space I fill, and even can see,
      engulfed in the infinite immensity of space of which I am ignorant,
      and which knows me not, I am frightened,
      and am astonished at being here rather than there, why now rather than then."
       
      ____________________
      Prelude Quotation (2)
       
      "I stick my finger into existence- It smells of nothing.
      Where am I? What is this thing called the world?
      Who is it who has lured me into the thing, and now leaves me here?
      How did I come into the world? Why was I not consulted?"
       
      -Existentialism Philosopher Søren Kierkegaard http://members.aol.com/KatharenaE/private/Philo/Soren/soren.html
      _____________________________________
      One of My First Existential Crisis...
       
      In my old apartment where I grew up,
      at about 9 years old,
      at about 6.30pm...
      I am watching TV's weekday superhero cartoon.
      It's about the greatest highlight of my day,
      what I look forward to all day.
      It ends at 7pm-
      a mere 1/2 hour of the day's 24.
       
      And I would notice the already dull orange coloured curtains behind the TV,
      highlighted by the dull orange hues of the setting sun.
      It was a "highlighted" fact to me
      that it was the end of another day,
      the death of day,
      the end of another day of my life,
      the death of some time in my life-
      the daily passing away of what I do not understand-
      life...
      Sometimes it sends chilling yet sad shivers down my spine,
      mixed emotions in motion.
       
      It is amazing how I was able to shrug off the feeling,
      day after day,
      till I grew up.
      It is amazing how the cartoons fulfilled me,
      giving me some reason to live for the next day.
       
      It is amazing how we are still able to shrug off such feelings
      now, after we grew up...
      day after day,
      with distractions of non-cartoons,
      of so many other things,
      assumed grown up, mature...
      from studies to career, to relationships and all...
      that distract us
      from truly asking
      and truly answering the question of-
      "What the hell are we doing HERE,
       doing what the hell we are doing NOW?"
       
      We have spent all the time of all our past lives,
      all the time of this very life,
      to arrive to this very point-
      where I write this very line,
      where you read this very line-
      "So what now?
       What now?
       What?
       NOW?"
       
      I see the primal initial existential crisis we'd ever had,
      as that of when we are born,
      an abrupt entry into this world and life,
      brawling, kicking, unwilling,
      appalled, system-shocked.
      Will we go through this again?
      Is there a point?
      Have we not learnt yet,
      to take the coming of a new life graciously?
      To arrive smiling, peaceful?
      Or is this possible only when we are returning for our last life,
      as a Buddha-to-be, an appeasable baby?
       
      Bohemian Rhapsody-
      are we not the bohemian wanderers of the cycle of life and death,
      singing a sad song,
      "I don't want to die, or be born,
      sometimes I wish I'd never been born, or died."
       
      It is amazing how we grew up
      unbrawling, unkicking, willing,
      unappalled, systems okay-
      when all that happened was that
      we had learnt to successfully shrug off our existential crisises,
      again and again,
      time and again,
      life after life,
      death after death.
       
      We had yet to start living,
      as long as we had yet to start asking for what we live.
       
      Let us relive the crisis,
      let us relive,
      so that we can be truly relieved of the crisis.
      The greatest sickness
      is shrugging off the primal sickness.
       
      May all beings get well soon.
       
      Maybe we are to be real superheroes after all-
      to be Arahants, Bodhisattvas and Buddhas,
      save ourselves,
      save others.
       
      A sidenote-
      X-men, The Incredible Hulk,
      The Silver Surfer, Spiderman & His Amazing Friends
      are now shown on weekdays on TV12's Kids Central
      at 5pm-
      some 17 years later.
      And I remain fasicinated-
      by the cartoon Bodhisattvas who strive to save the world.
       
      And the TV screen is much bigger,
      and in my new apartment,
      the setting sun is not behind but at the side.
      I still can't get enough...
      But is not the point is to be a true superhero?
      Not just be entertained by superheroes.
       
      Mahapurisa-
      a Pali term to describe the Buddha-
      Maha means Great or Super
      Purisa means Man or Human.
      So the Buddha is the original Superman after all,
      the real thing, the true hero.
       
      -Zeph [or Shian in a more sober mood, in a more spiritual mode- haha... :-]
      (On 2001's 3rd Chinese New Year Day's wee hours-
      inspired during a fruit punch drink at Starbucks @ IMM with Ann, Lily, Jianhong & Shunping)
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