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FIC: Universal Distortions (L/R, angst, rated R)

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  • Jengrrrl
    Author: Jengrrrl Title: Universal Distortions Series: The Big Crunch Rating: R, for language and sexuality Category: Angst Spoilers:none Summary: Rogue gets
    Message 1 of 1 , Oct 4, 2000
      Author: Jengrrrl
      Title: Universal Distortions
      Series: The Big Crunch
      Rating: R, for language and sexuality
      Category: Angst
      Spoilers:none
      Summary: Rogue gets what she can't have.
      Disclaimer: Not mine. Not mine at all. I just play with them sometimes.
      Continuing from "The Arrow of Time", "Light Reflected", "Time Warps",
      "Black Hole", "Expanding Universe", and "Temporal Extremities", and "Chaos
      Theory"
      Archive: Ask me first please, unless I've already said yes. Then, go ahead.

      Story, and series, archived at Disquieting Muses
      www.geocities.com/jengrrrl2000
      Email: Rogue22@... :)
      Feedback: please feed the monkey (That would be me)





      He was right. I didn�t know what I was getting myself into. I watched him
      walk into the dining area talking with her, smiling, and I felt something
      inside of me twist. The cereal I was suddenly not going down my throat and
      my stomach rejected any further thought of food. The spoon clanged loudly
      as I dropped it into the bowl, not setting it aside, but knowing I would be
      having no more.

      They grabbed their breakfasts and made their way over to my table, sitting
      and smiling amiably at me. I watched as Logan dug into his meal with the
      same ferocity with which he tackled everything else. Jean merely picked at
      her bagel. They continued talking, mostly about nonsense. Logan complained
      that he preferred something more solid than eggs for breakfast. Jean
      laughed and said something witty like, �Oh, Logan,� and continued nibbling
      at her bagel. They were so shamelessly flirting, I felt like slapping them
      both.

      Instead, I heard myself say, �So, Logan, we going dancing tonight?�

      Jean left her bagel alone and Logan swallowed his mouthful of food before
      training his eyes on mine. �I don�t dance, kid.�

      I nodded and said, �It�s just, well, you�ve been dancing around Jean the
      whole time you�ve been here��

      �Rogue!� Jean exclaimed. Guess that ruffled her feathers. Another time, I
      would have apologized. But this time, I was angry.

      Logan was angry, too. His eyes narrowed, his eyebrows knit together in
      fury. I�m surprised he didn�t bare his teeth at me.

      I didn�t stick around to hear what he would say. I stood up and said,
      �Really. What would Scott say, Jean?� It was unfair probably. A venomous
      accusation by someone who had no right to make it but at that point, I
      didn�t care.

      Running out of the room, I heard Logan call out, �Now, wait a minute--�

      It was too late. I was gone.

      ~*~

      It was a long day. I spent most of it in my room, curled up in bed, trying
      to concentrate on my book.

      I was reading Therese Raquin and I inadvertently cast Jean as Therese and
      Logan as her lover. I couldn�t really picture Scott as the weakling
      husband, but I tried anyway. It was sickening, they way I couldn�t get them
      out of my mind.

      Thoughts of Logan in Jean�s bed flickered through my head and, I had to
      throw the book across the room so I�d stop torturing myself. I knew what I
      was doing was wrong. I realized how pathetic I must�ve seemed to Logan:
      begging for his touch.

      After a while, feeling sorry for myself started weighing too heavily on me
      and I decided I need some fresh air. I decided I�d go out to the lake. It
      was a pretty miserable day, cold and cloudy, so I didn�t think anyone would
      be out there. I was right. The area was deserted.

      I lay myself on some grass and looked up to the gray sky. It was horrible.
      I was still feeling sorry for myself, just in a new, slightly more
      depressing, setting.

      I kept thinking about how, yes life had been rough on me, but I�d
      complicated things so much more with my stupid ideas. Trying to get Logan
      to touch me was just one of them.
      Just as I was getting ready to throw myself into the lake, ready to emulate
      the mad Ophelia, I heard the crunch of footsteps behind me. The darkening
      sky was replaced by Logan�s scowling face.

      No exchange of pleasantries for us. �What the hell did you think you were
      doing?�

      I didn�t move. I just watched as his countenance grew as dark as the
      heavens above. �Answer me, Rogue!�

      Sitting up, I shook my head. His anger was unabated by my silence. �This
      was a bad idea,� he said.

      A well of anger burst inside of me, and I suddenly remembered why I�d been
      so upset that morning. �Someone had to say something!� I shouted. �It�s
      embarrassing, watching the two of you. Flirting right in front of everyone,
      as if you were teenagers.�

      �It�s none of your--� he began.

      �I know,� I interrupted. �It�s none of my business. So what? It wasn�t any
      of her business either, was it? What was going on with us? That didn�t stop
      her from butting in. And of course, she�s Jean Grey, and whatever Jean
      says, Logan listens to. What did she say to you, Logan? Did she tell you to
      leave me alone? Did she tell you she�d sleep with you instead?�

      He reached down and jerked me violently to my feet, his face contorted in
      fury. �Shut up, Rogue,� he whispered roughly. �Shut up.�

      �Why?� I could feel my eyes begin to sting, but I wasn�t going to let the
      tears loose. �Why the hell should I, Logan? She�s married. Or don�t you
      give a fuck about breaking up a marriage, as long as you get what you
      want?�

      He pushed me down again, so I landed on the hard ground. �You stupid girl,�
      he growled.

      I wasn�t going to let him look down on me. I rose to my feet and moved
      until I was just inches away from him. �I was stupid. I was stupid for
      thinking you could possibly care about me. I was stupid for letting myself
      beg and plead for something�God! What an idiot I�ve been. What happened,
      Logan? You decided I wasn�t good enough to satisfy your urges with?�

      I saw him flinch and, before I knew, he�d pulled my body up to his. I felt
      the world tilt and I was on the ground and he was on top of me, his body
      pressing into mine. His fingers were digging into my sides, a thigh
      pressing up, between my legs. I gasped and he said, �This is what you want?
      Is it Rogue? You want me to satisfy your urges, don�t you?�

      I shook my head, the tears insistent now, begging to be released. He took
      my hands and pinned them above my head, holding them both in one of his
      hands. For a second, I struggled against him, moving frantically. But then,
      he moved his other hand to the juncture between my legs, his mouth moved
      down to my chest. And as I cursed him, I closed my eyes and let him. I let
      him touch me, even though he hated me. I needed him to touch me.

      His mouth was hot and moist against my breast; his hand was resting,
      unmoving between my legs. I felt cold. The wind was blowing cool against my
      head and neck, the moisture on the grass chilled me to the bone. I was
      freezing except for where he was touching me. There, I was burning. He
      moved his mouth to my other breast and bit down, hard. I winced with the
      pain, but didn�t say anything. I let him. I let him do everything. My other
      breast, a ring of moisture surrounding it, grew immediately cold, the
      absence of his mouth immediately felt. I wondered if that�s how I would
      feel when he was gone from me: cold and empty.

      He pressed his hand against me and I felt a rush a sensation that left me
      shaking. He continued pressing, kneading, and it seemed to me I couldn�t
      get enough air into my lungs. I opened my eyes and was left to stare at
      that dark, bitter sky, the moon and the stars brightening only to be
      swallowed immediately by the black clouds.

      I heard my own heaving breath, strange to my ears. I felt the pressure
      build inside of my body. I saw Logan look into my eyes; his own inscrutable
      in the shadows of the evening. His hand moved against me one more time
      before the damn broke and the pressure dissipated, and my own body was left
      trembling against his. And the tears finally escaped.

      And I watched as he rolled away from me, running away into the overwhelming
      night. I closed my eyes and felt the winds envelope me, replacing Logan�s
      warm hands with their own, chilled and hard, sweeping against me furiously.
      And the tears continued falling.




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