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FF: Goody Two Shoes. [2/?] [NC-17] Logan/Rogue

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  • Anita Lorenz
    Goody Two Shoes By Nancy Lorenz E-mail: tosh@opera.iinet.net.au Rating: NC-17 (Uh Rude stuff man - very rude). Archive: If you have the first parts, go for it.
    Message 1 of 1 , Oct 3, 2000
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      Goody Two Shoes
      By Nancy Lorenz

      E-mail: tosh@...
      Rating: NC-17 (Uh Rude stuff man - very rude).
      Archive: If you have the first parts, go for it.  List archives.  Otherwise - please ask.
      Classification: Rogue POV  Romance [Logan/Rogue]
      Series: This Song - The 'Dancing' Continuity.
      Spoilers: The Movie
      Synopsis:  Rogue goes off the rails as the pressure is on with Logan.
      Disclaimer: All characters copyright Marvel and Fox.
      Feedback: Kiss me, I'm Australian.  That translates to - yes please!
      Authors Note:   I don't actually condone underage drinking and bad behaviour.  And neither
      does Logan.   Really - we don't.  Wait till you're 21 (or 18 in some parts) and always wear
      a condom.  Even if you're not having sex.  I mean it.   Oh - and it's not beta read - at all.
      Dedication:  I dedicate this to three people the most:  Donna, Diebiwan and Mistiec.  They
      all helped me whilst I wrote it and even helped me come up with some plot devices.  THANK YOU!!
       ----------------------------------------

      No one had porn, but it didn't make much difference.  I'd never been drunk before, but man, what a first.    We'd been through our alotted beers, well - Kitty only needed two and she was completely fucked.   We lay there on the floor, staring at the ceiling, babbling to each other incoherently.   Mostly about school, about stuff like that.   Then, ah - the fateful night before had to come up in conversation, thanks to Kitty.

      "So..." she frowned, "What did you DO all last night?"

      I blushed, knocking back the last of my beer, "I um - We - we - um - "

      "They ummed," giggled Jubes.

      "Yeah we ummed," I nodded, content to leave it at that.

      "No no no," Kitty shook her head, "I'm serious.  We're sisters now babe - I wanna know.   What can you do all night without touching?"

      "Oh Jesus," groaned Jubilee, rolling over and taking a swig of her beer, "Here we go..."

      "Um," I frowned, "Well we had a sheet..."

      Jubilee giggled now, "You fucked through a sheet?"

      I shrugged, "Kinda - he pressed-"  I blushed and shut up.  "Hell this is embarrassin'..."

      "Go oooooooon," Jubilee nudged me, "We're all big girls!"

      "Mah - privates," I said, blushing even more, "You know..."  I leant in and whispered.   Jubilee frowned a long moment, trying to make sense of it.  A light flickered in her eyes an she gasped.

      "Oh!  He fondled yer clit!  Right!"  Swig.

      I blushed, hiding my head in my hands.

      "Ohhh," Kitty sighed, "That's what it's for..."

      Jubilee sniggered, "Yeah, Kitt."

      "He was-" I paused yet again, "He was very good at it."

      "Ibeddeee was," Jubilee said, wiggling her brows, "So - he got a nice dick?"

      Oh God, this girl was so embarrassin' sometimes.  I practically choked on my beer and hid my face behind a gloved hand again.

      "I didn't look at it for too long but yeah," I said, "It's kinda nice and um - big uh - Um - it felt better than it looked."

      Jubilee hooted triumphantly and Kitt went kinda pale.  "But how..."

      "Oh it didn't go in," I shrugged, "He just pushed it against me and stuff and - it still felt good."

      Kitt tilted her head, "You know, pornoprah- porhan - pah - "

      "PornoGRAPHIC!" growled Jubilee.

      "Yeah that - implications aside - i's kinda romannic."

      "It's TOTALLY romannic!" Jubilee stated, "I's beaudiful!  Is like romyo and juwyet!"

      I hid behind my beer again and blushed, Jubilee swigging at the empty can.   She patted my back roughly.

      "And babe - you are a hell of a lot better looking that than Claire Danes bitch."

      I blinked, "I am?"

      "Totally," Kitty nodded, "Way way way - like - um - yeah."

      "Claire Danes is a whore," growled Jubilee.

      Okay, this was getting weird.  I frowned, pointing at the abusive friend.

      "Jubes - you don't even knower.  I bet she's real nice."

      "Oh, I bet she is too," nodded Jubes, "I jus' felt like abusin' someone."

      "Oh..." I nodded, "If you're gonna abuse anyone, abuse um... abuse..."

      "Logan!" growled Jubilee again, "For not having more BEER!"

      "Oh," groaned Kitty, "I don't wanna come down..."

      "Me neither," I frowned, "We need more beer."

      "There is no more beer," sighed Kitty, "We dranked it all!"

      Jubilee huffed, throwing the empty can at the ceiling, "Now I know how ET felt on the couch.  KITTY!   Get us some more alcohol!!"

      "How the fuck am I supposed to do that?" she pouted.  Wow - Kitty swore.  She must have been pissed.

      "The - "  Jubilee rolled over and whispered with a wide grin, "LIQUOR CABINET!!!"

      "YEAH!" Kitty grinned stupidly, "MORE!"

      Before I could even talk her out of it she sprung to her feet and raced through the door.  Through it.  Shoop!  Gone, Kitty all gone.  OH shit Kitty get in trouble I swear.   I glared at Jubilee.

      "You know she's gonna get caught."

      "Naw," Jubilee waved a hand, "She's a clever kitty-cat!"

      "No no no no-"

      Then another shoop heralded the entrance of a giggling Kitty with an armful of what looked like vodka, brandy and rum.  Oh shit.

      "Oh dear," I sighed, "Oh dear dear dear dear dear dear."

      I rolled on the ground as the world rolled around me, saying the words over and over and over with no hope of stopping.  This was madness.

      "Where did you get that from?!"

      "The liquor cabinet like Jubiwubiness said!" Kitty said, placing down the drinks, "Now.  We need soda.  Aw nooo - we got no soda!!"

      "Who's liquor is this?" I persisted.

      "The baldy man we aaaaaall love!"

      Jubilee looked up with an inquiring frown, "Captain Picard?"

      "No!"  Kitty fell over onto her ass, giggling, "No no no!!  Xaaavier - HEY!  HEy - oh wow, I never noticed before!!"   She leant forward, gazing at me and Jubes with wide eyes, "Have you ever noticed - how MUCH like Jean-oo Picard the Professor looks?!"

      I wrinkled a brow, "You're trippin'."

      "No no no," Jubilee pointed at her, "She's onto something there man!"

      I pulled the bottle of vodka over and fluttered my eyes at it.

      "Wow, this isn't very good vodka.  You sure this isn't from like, Scott's cabinet or something?"

      "Iwwas inneh kitchen," Kitty said.

      "You got the cooking liquor you moron!" Jubilee laughed, "Oh hey that's cool.  At least we're getting blasted on cheap shit!"

      "Soda!" Kitty jumped to her feet, running through the door.

      "I didnnn mean for us to get this smashed, Jubi-jub," I said, rolling onto my tummy and frowning.

      "We'll stay in our rooms," Jubilee said, "And sleep it off late tomorrow.   It's Saturday Night babe - it's our night!"

      With a whoosh Kitty raced back in again, arms full of soda cans - lemonade, lemon squash, Coca Cola, passion-fruit flavoured drink.   Wow, she didn't skimp.

      "So much faster when you can run through walls," she said, dumping the soda and clearing away the beer cans with an arm.

       Jubilee pulled the tumblers that Kitty had brought in front of her, unscrewing the vodka bottle.  "You know what I heard?"

      I shook my head as I watched her pour.

      "New guy coming in a couplah days - from Austraaaalia!"

      "Oh wow," Kitty swooned, "From Australia?  I've always wanted to go there!"

      I frowned.  I know barely anything about the place apart from that they like ABBA and they're very loud weird people.   So a loud weird ABBA-loving mutant in drag was coming here?

      "Wuzisname?" I said, "Cecil?"

      Jubilee sniggered, "CECIL?"

      "Yeah," I nodded, "Like inneh movies.  ABBA-lovin' dudes in drag, that's Australians, right?"

      Jubilee giggled, rolling onto her back suddenly.  "You never seen Baywatch or Melrose babe?"

      I wrinkled my nose and shook my head.

      "They're all - all - bad guys," said Kitty with drooping eyelids, "And theyrr sluts the lahddovem!"

      "Stealin' the good girls away from the good guys," growled Jubilee.

      "Yeah, always good girl stealin'," nodded Kitty.

      "Bad sexy tanned blonde guys with five o'clock shadows," said Jubes, "Bad sexy guys, very bad, very sexy -" She sighed, "Sexy guys..."

      "Naaah," I shook my head, "You're aaall trippin'.  He's gonna be an ABBA lovin' freaky guy."

      "You'll see, Rogie," Jubilee said, pointing at me, "You're gonna say 'OH damn, I jumped Logan too fast now I can't 'ave any Aussie meeeeat!' And I'll be there jumpin' Aussie-boys bones!"

      I rolled my eyes and blinked at her, "No man on the face of the earth will ever, ever, EVERRRR make me regret jumpin' Logan's bones baby.  EVER!  Ever."

      Kitty burst into laughter.

      "Ever," I added.

      "Yeah we know," Jubes snickered.

      "Ever."

      Kitty rolled her eyes now, and grabbing the rum I poured it into my tumbler, sighing long.

      "I love him sooooooo much you guys," I said, "I jus' can' believe how much I love him."

      Jubilee rolled onto her side, rising her brows at me softly, "Yeah?"

      "Yeah," I nodded, "He's jus' - like - you think he's mean but he's not.  He let's me use his shampoo.   Tha's love."

      "Oh yeah," Kitty nodded, "Anyone use my shampoo I shove'em innah wall."

      "Nod- jussat," I said, pointing at them, "He doesn' min' that I can' touchim.  He jus' - doesn' care!"

      "I'm sure he cares," Jubilee said, handling her alcohol a tad better than me I suspect, "He just doesn't let it im- im- wassa word - impun - no - impede?  Im im-pune?  Whatever - he doesn't let it fuck wid ya relationship."

      I sighed and nodded, "I know!  I love him. Soooooo much."

      Kitty stared at the ceiling, gripping the bottle of vodka by the neck, "I love - I love - I have a love - I lo-"

      "SPIDDIDOUT!" rasped Jubilee around some straight rum.

      "I love soccer in the summer," said Kitty in a sweet tone.

      "Soccer?!" I frowned at her with disbelief.

      A suddenly naughty smile slid onto her face.  "Yeah.  All the boys run onto the field to play soccer, and they get hotter and hotter and hotter and their shirts all come off one by one."

      "Oooooh," Jubilee cooed, "Oh that's a good one, Kittenlittle!"

      Kitty nodded, swigging some vodka, spilling a little on the carpet.   She swigged back more vodka, and I watched as my previously well-behaved friends descended in a pit of drunken slathery.   It was kinda funny.   Seriously, though, they were gonna feel like shit tomorrow morning.  Serves them right I guess.

      My mind was cast to Xavier.  Really, he'd know this was happening.  I was wondering why hordes of the older X-Men weren't running in here and seizing the alcohol.  Maybe he knew how crappy we'd all be feeling.

      After a while, the alcohol washed over me, and I felt a little sick, but spinny.

      "You okay Rogue?"

      "Yeah," I said, lightly, "I'm jzz flyin."

      "Coool," Jubilee nodded, "I'm gonna pass out soon."

      "Me too," said Kitty.

      "Right," I nodded, getting up, looking at the empty rum bottle in my hand and throwing it aside.   I pulled on an X-Men sweater that - I think it was Logan's.  Anyway - I pulled it on, looked to the girls half out of it on the floor, and decided if I was going to pass out anywhere, I wanted it to be in the arms of the man I really, really, really loved.

      So I staggered out down the hallway, nearly forgetting I WASN'T Kitty and that I couldn't walk through walls, and down to Logan's room.  Bobby was walkin' past (oh great) and I walked as straight and as un-drunk as I could possibly muster.   He frowned at me as I drew closer.

      "Woah - Rogue - you okay?"

      I smiled lazily and nodded, "Yes, Robert, I am fine."  I silently swore to myself.   Talk normal to him, not perfect english.

      He looked me up and down and his jaw dropped a little.  "Okaaay."  After a moment he sniffed.  "Wow - is that brandy you smell of?"

      "Chocolate liqeurs," I said suddenly, "I got a bunch of them off the girls."

      "Oh," he nodded, "Okay.   Well I'll see you."

      He turned to walk away but I grabbed his sleeve.  "Bobby..."

      He looked to me with those sweet blue eyes that sometimes made me wanna puke cause they were so sweet (it was those moments I thought maybe his career lay in being in a boy band or something).

      "D'you hate me, now I'm goin' out with Logan?"

      A sigh left him.  I think he expected me to tell him I really loved him or something.  Oh well.  I can't be fucked worrying about his broken heart when I got Jean on my ass.   He smiled, and shook his head.

      "I could never hate you, Rogue," he said.

      I smiled, and looked to my gloved hands.  Carefully, I pulled them off, and tucked them in my pants.

      "I'm gonna do you a favour, Bobby."

      I think he got a little worried then, eying my hands.

      "Oh shush sugah, don't get scared I'm not touchin' you.  Just - look at me a minute."

      He did, looking me up and down.

      "And tell me - whaddaya love.   Me?  Marie?  A girl with a bad temper and weird hair, or the idea of Rogue - a girl with gloves and quiet voice and soft coun-"  I stopped, measuring the word, "Countenance?"

      He just looked at me a long moment.

      "Cause I'm tellin' ya, Bobby-boy, the boys love the gloves.   I'll tell you that for nothing.   You want sweet shit - you're not gonna find it in my head baby."  I patted his shoulder and pointed at him, "Try Kitty or somethin'."

      At that I turned down the hall, tumbling towards Logan's room.   I hit open the door, practically falling in and leaning on the door to close it.  He was on his bed, pickin' his teeth with somethin' and reading a sports journal or something.  I think it had hockey in it.   He looked up at me over the magazine and cocked a brow.   I took a long breath in, heaving my breasts up dramaticly and narrowing my eyes at him, pouting my lips as sensually as I could.

      "Ah lurve you!"

      His brow cocked up a little more in a look of incredulity, and then he promplty burst into a snigger.

      I frowned, "Whut?"

      He laughed more, dropping the mag, hiding his face behind a hand.  "How much have you had to drink?"

      I slid on my gloves slowly, unbuttoning my shirt.  "Far too much, I think."    I got to the edge of the bed, crawling across it to meet his smirking features.  "Aah think it's hot."

      "Oh really?"

      I nodded, straddling his hips and pulling open his shirts, "Yes it's far too hot - all this must come off."

      He just lifted his arms and watched me with a look of complete bemusement.  I fiddled with a button, frowning at it and hitting it with frustration.

      "You like beating me up?"

      "Button!" I growled.

      "Why don't you just come lie down for a while," He said, pulling me down beside him, sliding an arm around me.  I sighed as I sank next to him, nuzzling my face into his chest and breathing him all in.

      "Oh you smell so good," I swooned.

      "So do you, baby," he said, sipping a glass of water.  "You need some of this ya know."

      Without another word he got up, disappearing into his bathroom.   When he came out again he had a glass jug and a glass of water.    He set it down on the bedside table next to me, tapping the rim of the glass.

      "You don't get to pass out till you drink all of this."

      I dropped a jaw, "All of that?!"

      He nodded, "Trust me Marie.  You'll feel a lot better if you do."

      I sighed, pulling the glass of water over and slogging it back.   I watched him settled down next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

      "You have fun getting smashed then?"

      "I..."  I swallowed some water and frowned, "I don't know.  I don't think so.  But kinda."   I took another sip and gulped, "Do you think the Professor knows?"

      "Probably," shrugged Logan, pulling out a cigar and wedging it in his teeth, "Figures you gotta learn the hard way sooner or later."

      "Right," I nodded, "Yeah."

      He chuckled, "How much did you have to drink exactly?"

      I put up a gloved hand and counted on waggling fingers, "Four five - four beers an' some wodka and some rum and some brandy."

      "Holy shit," he sniggered heartily now, "You didn't go halfway did ya?"

      I looked to him seriously, "Kitty can walk through walls."

      I nodded, "Yeah I'll bet she can."

      "I love you," I said, "I told Jubilee and Kitty that I did."

      He glanced down to me, "Oh yeah, what else did you tell them?"

      I sighed, shaking my head, "Nothing."

      This seemed to give him some security as he took a draw of his cigar.

      "Not even the sheet-sex."

      He choked, swallowing nervously, "Good cause that's kinda private."

      I nodded, rolling up and stradling him again, snuggling him.  He looked kinda worried, putting his cigar down and butting it out, trying to contain my writhing body.

      "Marie- Marie honey come on now - I can't-"

      I looked him in the eyes, smiling smoothly, "You can't what?"

      He looked almost vulnerable as he breathed, "I can't control myself with you bucking away like that."

      "Just once," I said in a breath, "I'd just wanna lay against you completely naked and take every - solid - beautiful silky inch of you."   I kissed his sternum that was clad in tank top, running my mouth downwards.    He glanced to the ceiling, totally defeated, rummaging in his bedside table drawer with one hand.

      "Get the sheet."

      I squealed and bounced up and down on him excitedly.  He kinda frowned, gritting his teeth and trying to control himself.   All that savage beastly man just clenching away, keeping under control for me, and soon I'd let him ravage me all over - through a sheet yeah but fuck, I was sure looking damned forward to it.

      As he fiddled around with something in his drawer, he looked up, eyeing the sweater I wore.

      "That my sweater?"

      I nodded, pulling off my pants and knickers, sliding around inside the sweater till my bra and shirt fell out.   I giggled, dancing around in only the sweater.  Logan gulped.

      "That is so not fair..."

      I leaped onto the bed, straddling him yet again, tugging and working at his clothes.  "Off off off, I love you - off."

      "You know," he tilted his head, "I really shouldn't with you so drunk and all, I mean I'm kinda takin' advanta-"

      I covered his mouth with my hand and glared at him steadily.

      "Ah swear to Gawd Logan, I'm so fucking horny that if you don't get your clothes off and do something indecent to me soon I can't be held responsible for what Ah maght do."

      He coughed and nodded.  "Yeah right..."

      I peeled his shirt over his shoulders, lips running over shrouded flesh, fingers exploring where my mouth couldn't, I let them run over his lips, down his face.  His eyes followed them, sweet honey orbs so delicately lashed, what I'd do to kiss the curves of his cheek where those eyelashes lay, to caress the lids,  run lips over brow.   I couldn't think of that now, I just concentrated on his hands on my - breasts?  I looked down, startled.   He pulled out a hand that was covered in the soft leather of a driving glove and smiled.   I narrowed my eyes.

      "Ooh, you clever clever man!" I pulled his hand back up the sweater, and he let it roam, over my breast, under my arm, to my back, down, over the small of my back to the swell of my bottom where he started kneading steadily.  I pulled his vest up over his head, all that beautiful muscled haired body being revealed.  I let out a relieved sigh, running my fingers over the contours, through the hair, up to his jaw where my thumbs ran over his lips.

      "I wish you knew what that did to me, Marie," he breathed, his gloved hands running over my shoulders, an unzipped portion of the sweater falling over my shoulder, sitting precariously on a breast.

      "I know, sugah," I said softly, caressing his face with a silken glove, "You're within me, I know."

      He sighed finally, rolling me over swiftly so that I squeaked.  A giggle rose within me and he slid me down with a quick yank to my legs, throwing the sheet over my bottom half.

      "Logan, whadd're'yahaahahaohhhh!!!"

      Hot wet caresses lightly touched my - downstairs parts.  The parts I was far too embarrassed to talk to Kitty and Jubes about.  That spot - oh God he was - with his mouth.  Sweet God!  I titled my head back.  Oh I was gonna be a goners in no time at this rate.

      "LOGAN!" I gasped, my voice wavering, "Oh LOGan!"

      He gave a low chuckle, "Ya like that uh?"

      I snapped my thighs shut on his head and grinned, "Yeah and you better keep goin'!"

      His low chuckle grew as I let go of his head and he pressed his lips down on it harder with fervour.  Oh yes I loved this sweet man I loved him very very very oh GOD very much.   Thaaaat's it.

      "You're a very talented man," I announced as he caressed me, running my shrouded calves against his half-dressed body, "I'd never have known how good you'd be with that mouth the way you act so staunch."

      He just grunted, gripping my thigh possessively.  Each little bit of control cut loose and fluttered away with a powered thrust of his tongue against my privates, and I arched my back, grinding and writhing on the bed.

      "LOGan!" I huffed, "Oh Logan baby yes..."

      How beautifully my desperate voice urged him on, he suckled on the wet patch of sheet with vigour and I bucked wildly, half sitting up and shaking my head.

      "THAT is clever!" I cried, "LOGAN!"  Oh God that was it - I - "Logan!"  I pulled my legs together a little, nudging him away, "Oh baby I can't take any more, I'm done I'm done.... Oh God... oh God..."

      I tilted my head back again, taking gulping breaths, feeling his lips press up my abdomen as he covered me in the linen.   The edge of the sheet came up over my face a little, and placing a hot nudge on my lips with his, he gazed into me with those fiery hazel pools.

      "I'll be right back."

      He climbed out of the bed, loping into the bathroom looking rather uncomfortable.   Had I been more coherent, I would have followed him in there to help him out, but without much further ado - I passed right out.

      ----------------------------------------

      He woke me up again.  His hand nudged my shoulder roughly, cold water splashing on my lips.

      "Hey - what did I tell you?"

      I groaned, rolling over.

      "Drink up!"

      Oh shit.  He thrust a glass of water into my hands and went back to zipping up his pants.  I frowned at him as he crawled over me and lay down in the bed.

      "Why you always doin' that?"

      "Doin' what?"

      I adjusted myself in the bed and looked at him as he reached over and took a sip of water.  "You know - goin' off and doing your-"  I waggled a hand over my groin, "Thing."

      He spat back into the cup, the dirty pig.   I then realised he was actually choking on his water, and he met my placid gaze with an embarrassed glare.

      "I just - " He cleared his throat, "I don't want you to have to deal with that yet, Marie."

      I frowned, probably looking a bit confused, "But I want to deal with it."

      He looked up at me from the pillow he lay on and blushed, "No you don't."

      I persisted.  "Yes I do."

      "Nno, you don't, trust me."

      I growled now, "Yes, I do!"

      He was really beginning to blush now, "It's messy."

      "I like messy," I said.

      "A girl like you shouldn-"

      "Now wait on!" I sat up, crossing my arms, wishing I hadn't sat up so fast cause my head was spinnin' from the rum, "You just licked my girl-bits through a sheet and you're telling me I'm not allowed to play with your penis?!"

      He sighed long, "Marie, you're drunk-"

      "And I want to have a go at your penis!"  With much amusement I noticed he flinched every time I said the 'p' word. I growled, getting up on my knees and grabbing his groin.

      "Ho shit Marie!" he hissed, practically jumping up, "Careful!"

      I gasped, hands cupping my face, "Did I break it?!"

      He just let out a weary laugh and shook his head, "No, you didn't but um - how about we wait until tomorrow?"

      "Okay, but I won't forget," I said, sinking down, "I'm gonna have a go at that thing whether I have to konk you on the head and tie you up and stuff."

      His blush went fiery and he threw the sheet over me, wrapping me up in his arms, "Just - go to sleep, Marie."

      "It's only eight thirty!"

      His voice turned suddenly sickly shaccharine sweet, "The sooner you go to sleep, the sooner you'll wake up."

      I elbowed him hard with a grit of my teeth.  Damned patronizing bastard.

      "Ow..."

      "Serves you raght," I growled.

      There was silence for a moment as he turned off the light and settled in behind me.  I felt tense, real tense.  I just couldn't relax - I was really pissed off dammit.   And brainless here wouldn't let me play with his willy just once.  Sure, I might have been drunk but considerin' the circumstances it was probably the best time to encounter such a thing.

      "Marie..."

      I rolled my eyes and huffed, "What."

      "You angry with me?"

      Oh GOD!  Why did he have to sound so damn cute?  It was fucking annoying.  I just growled.

      "I don't know, I'm drunk, and apparently drunk people aren't capable of anything but being sucked on."

      He let out a hot sigh and turned me over.  "Marie, it's not that at all!"

      As he turned me over I could see his face in the dim light of the window.   I frowned at him softly as he kept talking.

      "Look, doing something like that - it's really intimate, ya know?"

      "And lickin' on my clap-trap isn't?!"

      His eyes bugged and he covered his face, "Jesus Marie, where do you come up with that shit?"

      "Your brain, sweetheart!"

      "Great."  He let out a long sigh, playing with my hair idly.   "Okay - dicks are freaky scary things, Marie, and I don't know if you really want to deal with one when you're this off your face."

      "Ah told you, Ah want to deal with it, God, DAMMIT!"

      We were going around in circles now, and I could hear him gritting his teeth.  I don't think he realised what an insult this all was.

      "Look, when you say that suckin' on your joystick is more intimate than havin' a go at my - bits - I just - I feel like it means nothin'."

      After cringing a moment I could see his eyes glint in the dim light, his breath going shallow.

      "No, no that's not it at all."

      I rolled my jaw and folded my arms primply, "Well then, pray tell, whut is it?"

      He let out a sigh and swallowed, "God, freakin' shit-"  He sighed again and leant his head down on his folded hands, "Okay it's like - I'd kinda planned when we'd - do that."

      "Nice of you to make that little decision for me," I said sardonicly.

      "I wanted it to be special, that's all."

      I closed my eyes, my breaths becoming painful, "I was just lying here letting you go for it Logan - if that wasn't special, then what the fuck am I even DOING here raght now?!"

      He seemed to panic a little, "Christ - it was special, Marie, but I was pleasin' ya, baby.  I wanted to make ya feel good, ya know?"

      His voice was quavering, and I could hear him struggling with his thoughts through is huffs and the  brush of wringing flesh of his hands. I nodded fractionally, "Go on."

      "I want us both to enjoy the first time we - ya know - with my - thing, and we're not going to if you can't even sit up straight."

      What fell from me was the thing I was least expecting.  A laugh.   A full, spirited, delighted laugh.  From under the sheet I wrapped my arms about him and planted kisses all over his scalp, giggling and growling.

      "Oh you SILLY man!"

      "Ugh- Marie!"

      "Why did you just SAY that in the first place before all this SPECIAL bullshit?!"

      He pressed his lips together under tilted brows, giving a troubled wince.

      "Say what?"

      I laughed, "That I'm too drunk to jerk you off raght!"

      He groaned again, tilting his head back, "God Marie, you're not one for subtlety are ya?"

      Planting more kisses on his head I shook my head, "Nope, not me sugah!"

      He chuckled now, rolling me over and curling around me, pulling up the comforter over us.  I could feel him lay his face against the back of my head, his lips pressing against the hair.

      "D'you drink all that water?"

      "Most of it."

      He grunted in approval.   "Go to sleep then."

      "'Kay."

      I lay there for a while, listening to him breath, feeling his body against mine, mostly still but giving the odd twitch as he fell asleep.  I'd never felt so safe and deliriously happy as when I did in this man's arms.  Such lovely muscly arms too.   Not that I had a terribly long amount of time to ponder over it.   I was crashing down from the alcohol at quite a rate, and I doubted I could have kept my eyes open for much longer.   I liked listening to Logan breathe though, and feeling his breath brushing through my hair all warm and tickling.  It was like kisses.  His weight pressing against me, his arm strewn across me, it was a sensation I savoured too.  All these things I revelled in, all these things I gathered up in my mind and treasured for lack of fleshly caresses.  It kinda made me realise how people move so fast, and miss the little things like that.  Like smell, and the way someone moved, or looked when they said certain words.

      When Logan talks, sometimes the corner of his mouth curls up, almost like a snarl when he's angry but when he's just talking about something that makes him happy or whatever, it's not a snarl at all.  It's a brash little action, such an endearing muscular tick of his that has always had my heart in palpatations.  Another thing I noticed was how wonderfully straight his teeth were.  I know - a silly thing to appreciate huh?   But it's that perfect row of teeth that are flashed when that lip ticks up, it makes the whole thing perfect.

      I guess I spend more time than most deconstructing Logan's facial features.  Not a lot else I can do with them really.  Not a lot of point wishing for things I *could* do with them either.   I swore off feelin' sorry for myself long ago.  I do my mind exercises, I be the best student I could be.   Sure, I'd probably let a few people down today.

      Damn it all I had some fun though.

      ----------------------------------------
       
       

      --
      Lifelong member of PETS:
      People for the Ethical Treatment of Scott!
      "Cause Poor Ol' One Eye deserves a BREAK DAMMIT!"
       

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