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FF "The End v3.0" PG [Logan/Jean (so far), Scott]

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  • Elizabeth Wilde
    Now, understand, most of these endings will have stories set after them... Author: Elizabeth Wilde Title: The End v3.0 Series: Driving Force Distribution:
    Message 1 of 1 , Sep 28, 2000
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      Now, understand, most of these "endings" will have
      stories set after them...

      Author: Elizabeth Wilde
      Title: The End v3.0
      Series: Driving Force
      Distribution: Anyone who has my fic, anyone who wants
      it, http://www.geocities.com/aloysiusj/xfic.html [my
      Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men and I don't own the
      song "The Lover After Me" by Savage Garden. Please
      don't sue!
      'Ship: mention of Logan/Jean and Scott/Jean
      Classification: angst
      Summary: Scott returns to Xavier's school.
      Rating: PG
      Spoilers: none
      Feedback: ALWAYS! Wilde_moon@...
      Notes: A graphic can be found at

      Here I go again; I promised myself I wouldn't think of
      you today.
      It's been seven months and counting
      You've moved on
      I still feel exactly the same.
      It's just that everywhere I go all the buildings know
      your name
      Like photographs and memories of love
      Steel and granite reminders
      The city calls your name and I can't move on.

      Scott stalked down another street in another city and
      let the bitter winter wind chill his skin. //Too damn
      bad it only numbs the outside,// he thought darkly,
      pulling his coat a little tighter. His skin was
      chapped from the wind. Walking outside made his body
      cold and almost unfeeling.

      His heart was an entirely different story. It seemed
      to Scott that with each turn he took, the world got
      darker and colder. //Because Jean isn't in it. At
      least not for me.// He thrust his hands deeper in his
      jean pockets and walked with his head down, against
      the wind.

      //Get it together, Summers. She's over it. You
      should be too.// Scott shivered, but the spasm had
      little to do with the weather. He was tired of the
      cold, of the loneliness, of living each day with no
      direction or purpose. He had walked away from
      everything that made life worth living.

      //I walked away from Jean.//

      Ever since you've been gone
      The lights go out the same
      The only difference is
      You call another name
      To your love
      To your lover now
      To your love
      The lover after me

      //And if you were there, you could--what? Watch her
      be with Logan? Feel it...// He shuddered,
      remembering the way he could feel Jean's emotions the
      first time she made love to Logan. //Talk about
      rubbing salt in a wound.// It hadn't been
      intentional, of course, and he supposed his misery had
      echoed back to her the way her joy had to him. But
      the echoes grew fainter every day. //Now I can't feel
      her if I try.//

      He wondered how the way Jean felt toward Logan
      compared to the way she had felt toward him. They had
      been friends for years before they were lovers. Scott
      knew Jean almost better than he knew himself. //I
      thought I did, anyway.//

      //Was that Logan's whole appeal? He was just...
      different? Something new?// Scott sighed and ducked
      into a nearby coffee shop to get warm, buying the
      cheapest stuff they had even though it earned him a
      scornful glare from the young waitress. He took the
      coffee with a brief thank you and sat down in the
      darkest corner the place had to offer. //Was I that
      boring or is he that exciting?// Scott sighed and
      downed almost half the blisteringly hot liquid.
      //This train of thought isn't doing a hell of a lot
      for my self-confidence.//

      Am I all alone in the universe?
      There's no love on these streets.
      I have given mine away to a world that didn't want it
      So this is my new freedom
      It's funny
      I don't remember being chained
      But nothing seems to make sense anymore
      Without you I'm always twenty minutes late.

      Alone again in the cockroach-infested dive Scott was
      temporarily calling home, the former leader of the
      X-Men tried to figure out why he'd ever thought he
      could leave. //Yeah, you can survive without Jean.
      Right. And you can also do without air and water.
      It'll work just great.//

      //Until you go completely insane.//

      Being alone wasn't fun. Scott hated trying to sleep
      without hearing Jean's breathing at his side. He
      hated waking up holding a pillow instead of her.
      //God, you're pitiful, Summers. Can't even function
      without her. Dammit.//

      Scott rose from the bed with a resolute scowl and
      grabbed a duffel bag, throwing his few possessions-at
      least the few he might need-inside. Fumbling with his
      wallet, he surmised that he had just enough money.
      //Fuck it. I'm going home.// Slamming the door shut
      behind him, Scott turned to the street and started
      waving his hand. Soon enough, a yellow taxi swerved
      to a halt in front of him. Scott piled into the
      backseat. "Where ya headed, buddy?" the
      greasy-looking driver asked without glancing back at
      his charge.

      "Westchester. Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters.
      There's an extra twenty in it for you if we get there

      And time goes by so slowly
      The nights are cold and lonely
      I shouldn't be holding on
      But I'm still holding on for you.

      Here I go again
      I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today
      But I'm standing at your doorway
      I'm calling out your name because I can't move on.

      Scott was inside the mansion before he had time to
      think. He knew himself well enough to know that a
      second's hesitation would mean overanalyzing the
      situation and deciding to leave again. //And then I'd
      be right back where I started.// Taking a deep
      breath, he looked around. It seemed exactly the same.
      //It's only been seven months, moron. Of course it's
      the same.//

      He took another shaky breath and started up the
      stairs. He let his heart lead, let any coherent
      thought slip away. //Thinking is what got me into
      this damn mess.// He didn't pass anyone on the
      way-not that he'd expected to at four in the
      morning-and was glad for it.

      The door looked the same. //Our room.// He knew
      better, of course. He knew it was no longer "our
      room." //Their room,// he corrected, a sudden pang
      echoing through his being.

      Three gentle knocks later, Jean appeared. Her hair
      was mussed from sleep, eyes bleary. She wore a plain
      white cotton gown and had a fuzzy blue robe clutched
      together in front of her. Then her eyes went wide and
      became clear. "Scott!"

      He managed a weak smile. "Hey."

      "You're here!" Jean blinked a couple of times and
      then asked, "When did you get here?"

      "Just now. I came straight here. I just... I..."
      Scott suddenly realized that all his focus on being
      impulsive had left even him at a loss in regard to his
      motives. "I guess I just needed to see you."

      She smiled. "I'm glad." She let another moment pass
      and then said, "How about breakfast?"

      Scott gave her a genuine smile then. "Sure. I'll
      find a room and then meet you in the kitchen."



      As he turned, Jean called after him, "Scott?"


      "I missed you."

      His smile faded a little. "I missed you too."

      THE END

      And I'll be sending out one more story--don't hit me!!!!

      Catch Your Breath [my index site] ~ http://www.catchyourbreath.net

      "We've always been ready for female superheroes because women want to be them and men want to do them." -Famke Janssen

      Cyclops: "I'm sorry. My mind must have been...elsewhere."
      Jean: "The gutter, perhaps?" ~X-Men #8

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