FF "The End v3.0" PG [Logan/Jean (so far), Scott]
- Now, understand, most of these "endings" will have
stories set after them...
Author: Elizabeth Wilde
Title: The End v3.0
Series: Driving Force
Distribution: Anyone who has my fic, anyone who wants
it, http://www.geocities.com/aloysiusj/xfic.html [my
Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men and I don't own the
song "The Lover After Me" by Savage Garden. Please
'Ship: mention of Logan/Jean and Scott/Jean
Summary: Scott returns to Xavier's school.
Feedback: ALWAYS! Wilde_moon@...
Notes: A graphic can be found at
Here I go again; I promised myself I wouldn't think of
It's been seven months and counting
You've moved on
I still feel exactly the same.
It's just that everywhere I go all the buildings know
Like photographs and memories of love
Steel and granite reminders
The city calls your name and I can't move on.
Scott stalked down another street in another city and
let the bitter winter wind chill his skin. //Too damn
bad it only numbs the outside,// he thought darkly,
pulling his coat a little tighter. His skin was
chapped from the wind. Walking outside made his body
cold and almost unfeeling.
His heart was an entirely different story. It seemed
to Scott that with each turn he took, the world got
darker and colder. //Because Jean isn't in it. At
least not for me.// He thrust his hands deeper in his
jean pockets and walked with his head down, against
//Get it together, Summers. She's over it. You
should be too.// Scott shivered, but the spasm had
little to do with the weather. He was tired of the
cold, of the loneliness, of living each day with no
direction or purpose. He had walked away from
everything that made life worth living.
//I walked away from Jean.//
Ever since you've been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after me
//And if you were there, you could--what? Watch her
be with Logan? Feel it...// He shuddered,
remembering the way he could feel Jean's emotions the
first time she made love to Logan. //Talk about
rubbing salt in a wound.// It hadn't been
intentional, of course, and he supposed his misery had
echoed back to her the way her joy had to him. But
the echoes grew fainter every day. //Now I can't feel
her if I try.//
He wondered how the way Jean felt toward Logan
compared to the way she had felt toward him. They had
been friends for years before they were lovers. Scott
knew Jean almost better than he knew himself. //I
thought I did, anyway.//
//Was that Logan's whole appeal? He was just...
different? Something new?// Scott sighed and ducked
into a nearby coffee shop to get warm, buying the
cheapest stuff they had even though it earned him a
scornful glare from the young waitress. He took the
coffee with a brief thank you and sat down in the
darkest corner the place had to offer. //Was I that
boring or is he that exciting?// Scott sighed and
downed almost half the blisteringly hot liquid.
//This train of thought isn't doing a hell of a lot
for my self-confidence.//
Am I all alone in the universe?
There's no love on these streets.
I have given mine away to a world that didn't want it
So this is my new freedom
I don't remember being chained
But nothing seems to make sense anymore
Without you I'm always twenty minutes late.
Alone again in the cockroach-infested dive Scott was
temporarily calling home, the former leader of the
X-Men tried to figure out why he'd ever thought he
could leave. //Yeah, you can survive without Jean.
Right. And you can also do without air and water.
It'll work just great.//
//Until you go completely insane.//
Being alone wasn't fun. Scott hated trying to sleep
without hearing Jean's breathing at his side. He
hated waking up holding a pillow instead of her.
//God, you're pitiful, Summers. Can't even function
without her. Dammit.//
Scott rose from the bed with a resolute scowl and
grabbed a duffel bag, throwing his few possessions-at
least the few he might need-inside. Fumbling with his
wallet, he surmised that he had just enough money.
//Fuck it. I'm going home.// Slamming the door shut
behind him, Scott turned to the street and started
waving his hand. Soon enough, a yellow taxi swerved
to a halt in front of him. Scott piled into the
backseat. "Where ya headed, buddy?" the
greasy-looking driver asked without glancing back at
"Westchester. Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters.
There's an extra twenty in it for you if we get there
And time goes by so slowly
The nights are cold and lonely
I shouldn't be holding on
But I'm still holding on for you.
Here I go again
I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today
But I'm standing at your doorway
I'm calling out your name because I can't move on.
Scott was inside the mansion before he had time to
think. He knew himself well enough to know that a
second's hesitation would mean overanalyzing the
situation and deciding to leave again. //And then I'd
be right back where I started.// Taking a deep
breath, he looked around. It seemed exactly the same.
//It's only been seven months, moron. Of course it's
He took another shaky breath and started up the
stairs. He let his heart lead, let any coherent
thought slip away. //Thinking is what got me into
this damn mess.// He didn't pass anyone on the
way-not that he'd expected to at four in the
morning-and was glad for it.
The door looked the same. //Our room.// He knew
better, of course. He knew it was no longer "our
room." //Their room,// he corrected, a sudden pang
echoing through his being.
Three gentle knocks later, Jean appeared. Her hair
was mussed from sleep, eyes bleary. She wore a plain
white cotton gown and had a fuzzy blue robe clutched
together in front of her. Then her eyes went wide and
became clear. "Scott!"
He managed a weak smile. "Hey."
"You're here!" Jean blinked a couple of times and
then asked, "When did you get here?"
"Just now. I came straight here. I just... I..."
Scott suddenly realized that all his focus on being
impulsive had left even him at a loss in regard to his
motives. "I guess I just needed to see you."
She smiled. "I'm glad." She let another moment pass
and then said, "How about breakfast?"
Scott gave her a genuine smile then. "Sure. I'll
find a room and then meet you in the kitchen."
As he turned, Jean called after him, "Scott?"
"I missed you."
His smile faded a little. "I missed you too."
And I'll be sending out one more story--don't hit me!!!!
Catch Your Breath [my index site] ~ http://www.catchyourbreath.net
"We've always been ready for female superheroes because women want to be them and men want to do them." -Famke Janssen
Cyclops: "I'm sorry. My mind must have been...elsewhere."
Jean: "The gutter, perhaps?" ~X-Men #8
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