The 'Harry Potter' books in the Xavier Academy classroom.
Author: Patrick Phillips
Summary: The 'Harry Potter' books would obviously be pretty popular
among the kids at the Academy.
Pairing/Characters: Logan, Kitty.
Archive: Sure, just let me know where.
Spoilers/Continuity: Sometime after X-3.
Notes: cross-posted to the Yahoo Groups X-Fiction site.
STUDENTS AND FACULTY... AND STAFF
Ororo was in Washington, having an emergency meeting with some upset
politicians. Unfortunately, it was the middle of the week and classes
were in session. Which meant that other instructors and older
students were being forced to fill in for her.
Which was about the only way you'd ever see Logan in an English class.
The students began staring the moment a clearly grumpy Logan stalked
into the classroom. They didn't stop until he sat down at the
instructor's desk and glared back at them. Looking Logan in the eye
for an extended period of time was something that adults found
difficult. With the exception of Marie, none of the students at the
Xavier Institute were able to consistently manage the feat.
"Morning," Logan said in a low and steady tone, making a conscious
effort not to snarl. After all, it wasn't the kids fault that he'd
been roped into this.
"Good morning. Hi! Hello, Mr. Logan." chorused the students hesitantly.
"Oro... Miss Munroe isn't around today," Logan continued balefully.
"So I'll be teaching your class."
Logan paused and waited for some kind of reaction. He got silence.
Nodding his head as if that was what he both expected and wanted,
Logan went on, "Miss Munroe left me a message saying we should talk
about your reading assignment."
Logan waited, showing that scary kind of patience that most people
translated as: "I'm the hunter. You're the prey. I'm waiting for
you to make a mistake."
Yet more silence.
Logan finally sighed and said, "Why don't we start with someone
telling me just what the h... Uh... what're you reading?"
Kitty raised her hand. Logan nodded gratefully at her.
"We're reading 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire'," Kitty said.
Logan blinked. This class was full of high-school age students and a
few very advanced younger students. And Ororo was a relentless and
rigorous kind of teacher who never compromised when it came to
"That sounds like a book for kids," Logan said with a puzzled frown.
The class exploded.
"IS NOT! No! It's no such thing! Hey, it's a good book! The Harry
Potter books are NOT just for kids!"
More than a little surprised, Logan held a hand up against the
suddenly furious storm, "Okay. Okay. OKAY!!!"
The class relapsed into silence. But now it was an angry, rebellious
kind of silence.
Logan examined the classroom of irritated young faces while carefully
hiding a smile. This really wasn't what he was good at. But every
now and then he caught a glimpse of why Ororo loved to teach. This
was one of those times.
"That book's part of a series right?" Logan asked mildly.
A rumble of assent came from the class.
"And if I remember right, they made some movies from the them, too."
More agreement. In the back row, a whispered, bitter argument
immediately erupted between two students on the subject of whether or
not the movies sucked.
"Hey, cut it out," Logan said in a flat voice. The two combatants
Logan leaned back in his chair, feeling more than a little relieved.
This was going to be a lot easier than he expected.
"So convince me that this 'Harry Potter' stuff isn't for kids. That
mean's you've got to tell me about the important ideas in the books.
Kitty, you start,"
Kitty blinked in surprise and then took a moment to collect her thoughts.
"Well, I'd say the major theme in the series is about prejudice..."
she began thoughtfully.
A guy sitting right behind Kitty immediately objected. As far as he
was concerned, the major theme of the books was actually about
family. Kitty's ears turned red and she began verbally tearing the
guy who had interrupted her a new bodily orifice. A half-dozen other
students instantly joined in -- either taking sides or establishing
Logan umpired the arguments -- only getting involved when things
threatened to get out of hand. His basic rules were, "No cussing, and
I'm the only one allowed to use violence."
The class was long over. Ororo was back and much to Logan's relief
she would be teaching her classes tomorrow.
It was well past midnight and the school was quiet. Logan was sitting
at the kitchen table, flipping through a copy of "Harry Potter and the
Philosopher's Stone". Kitty had loaned him the book. So far, Logan
had come to the conclusion that while this Rowling lady was obviously
new to writing, she had a lot of promise. Logan figured she'd
probably get even better as the books went on.
The chair across the table from Logan was dragged away from the table.
Then there was a clinking and 'oofing' sound. Then a pair of small
hands lifted a perfectly iced bottle of 'Heineken Dark' onto the table
top. The bottle cap had already been removed.
Logan grinned and reached for the bottle. "Thanks," he said, after
taking an appreciative sip.
A house-elf pulled himself up onto the table and sat on the edge. The
diminutive figure was dressed in a green dish-towel that had been
converted into a kind of kilt, and a cotton napkin that was carefully
folded into a tri-corner hat. Reaching down, he hoisted up the rest
of the six-pack. It was almost as big as he was.
"Henchley, I don't know what I'd do without you," Logan said
gratefully. There were some pretty strict rules about alcohol in the
school, but the house-elf understood that a man like Logan usually
needed a pint or two -- or three or four -- at the end of a day.
The house-elf smiled and shyly made an awkward half-bow, but said
nothing. Henchley was a quiet sort who never spoke unless it was
It was only after he became faculty that Logan began to wonder about
certain basic facts-of-life at the school. The school only had
students and teachers, and it was a pretty big place. So who cleaned
the mansion? Who cooked for the students and teachers? Who took out
the garbage and kept the lawn trimmed?
Logan was a hunter by nature and inclination, so it wasn't long until
he discovered the answer. Logan never got around to asking Charlie
where he got his... peculiar... staff from, but it made sense that a
man like Charles had all kinds of odd connections in strange places.
Taking another sip, Logan opened the book again. Quidditch was a
really cool idea. And someone needed to take down that Snape guy
before he got completely out of control. Logan suspected that the
longer everyone waited, the worse the problem would be when Snape
finally went bad.
All in all, the first book seemed like a really good start. And Logan
was pretty sure that there would be a lot of surprises as he continued