FF: Renter's Blues (PG)
- RENTER'S BLUES
By Linda J.
Disclaimer: yeah, yeah, yeah, they're not mine, I don't own them,
they won't make me rich!
Setting: Takes place after X2
Summery: The brotherhood is looking for a new headquarters
"It's not much to look at " The landlord warned the strange and
rather odd looking group as he opened the front door. "But it's the
only furnished place I have right now."
"It will do nicely," Erik assertively declared before he
even saw the inside the aged two story house.
"Um some things may need a little fixin'," The older
white `normal' looking male explained as the rest of the group
slowly strolled into the house, examining what was probably to
become their new hideout. "I'll get to them soon. I promise"
Pyro leaned over to whisper to Mystique who had taken the form of an
ordinary looking woman, "Like hell he will."
She gave him a flirtatious smile. This young juicy boy was next on
her "hit" list and winked.
"Have you ever known a normie who wasn't a born liar?"
Magneto gave the two mutants a harsh `keep quiet' look and began to
rush the landlord over to the side to discuss the leasing
"Hey!" The ferocious mutant, known to most as Sabretooth,
bellowed as he started walking up the stairs, "Can we keep animals
"You better hope we can," Toad who was testing all the
light switches, spoke in a teasing manner. "Otherwise, you'll have
to stay outside." *Grrrrrrrr* Victor gave his quasi friend a
threatening look but chose to ignore his remark for the moment at
least and continued to walk up the stairs.
Meanwhile Mystique and Pyro made their way into the kitchen. It was
dingy and the walls were covered with faded, old and poorly designed
wall-paper. The ceiling was covered with water spots from the
leaking roof. Pyro walked over to the double sink and looked down
at the rust stains and the dripping faucet. He nervously played
with his lighter opening and closing its lid with even more fervor
then usual, perhaps the annoying noise it made was John's way of
unconsciously expressing his dissatisfaction to his new home.
Mystique opened the door to the pantry and flipped the light switch
on. Suddenly, the cool, calm, commanding and ever in control
Mystique came running from the kitchen screaming at the top of her
"AAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" She cried. "Mouse!"
"Um yeah, yeah," The landlord tried to explain away the
problem. "The last tenants were a bunch of slobs never cleaned up
after themselves. We've been trying to get rid of the pests for a
couple of weeks now, but there might still be a couple of rodents
hanging around. A few bugs too but nothing really bad."
"Then you live here and we'll take YOUR house!" Pyro
threatened the landlord only to have Magneto grab him by the
shoulder and whirl him around to speak to him.
"This place will suit our needs just fine young man. Now,"
Magneto used a caring and fatherly voice. "Go check on Mystique, she
is probably hiding in the van." At that moment both Toad and
Sabretooth were making a mad dash into the kitchen.
"Mouse? Where?" Sabretooth asked excitedly as he leaped
from the balcony to the living room floor with a thud.
"It's mine!" Toad yelled,
"I was here first!" A moment later both Erik and the
landlord could hear the two mutants in the kitchen struggling to get
the mouse first.
"I called it!" Sabretooth growled as Toad kicked him into
"Too bad, you mangy ol' cat!" Toad retorted as Sabretooth
through a kitchen chair at him. *crash*
"Ah! There it is!" The mouse was hiding in the corner of
the room praying for dear life. *ZAP* and suddenly the mouse was in
Toad's mouth and swallowed in one gulp.
"Don't feel bad Vic." Toad tried to comfort Sabretooth
before his temper got the best of him. "I'll let you have the next
The landlord looked at Erik and made sure he pointed out the part of
the lease that said the renter was responsible for paying for all
damages incurred to the property as long as the lease was in there
name. Erik signed the papers and paid the landlord in cash a six
month advance, so no questions were asked and there whereabouts
where kept secret. The brotherhood moved in and started to stake
out their rooms.
Mystique insisted on having her own bedroom, much to Erik's
disappointment. This left four men to share two bedrooms.
"Don't worry `bout me." Sabretooth happily chirped as he
carried in his sleeping bag which was actually a collection of furs
that he'd piled together and rolled up into a bundle for easy
transporting. "You know where I'll be." And with that he opened a
window and started to climb onto the roof.
"Where the hell IS he going?" Pyro wondered strangely.
"Creed's rather fond of perching." Erik mildly explained
the huge felinoid's habits to the newest member of the brotherhood.
"The bloody wanker's got a lot of quirks, but we love him,"
Toad smirked as they heard the heavy foot steps pounding above there
"Well " Erik then asserted himself. "That settles things
rather nicely. I take this room, and you two can have that one."
Toad and Pyro looked dreadfully at each other.
"No thanks I'll take the couch," Pyro sounded depressed as
he began to walk down the stairs. He was beginning to wonder if
coming over to the brotherhood was such a great idea after all when
he heard an ominous sound coming from the roof. A creaking,
crackling noise that seemed to get louder by the second. Suddenly
just as everyone heard Sabretooth's howl the roof gave way and he
came crashing through the roof through Mystique's bed room, which
was on the second floor, through the living room, narrowly missing
Pyro, on the first floor and finally ended up in the unfinished
"I'm OK. I'm OK." Sabretooth reassured his colleagues as
he climbed out of the new pit in the middle of the living room.
"Like any of us care." Mystique quipped as she came down
the stairs in a huff.
"Surely we're staying HERE any more!" Pyro insisted.
"Fine fine," Erik gave up and threw his hands in the
air. "We'll stay at a hotel tonight and look for somewhere new
tomorrow." The group left the house in shambles and began searching
for a hotel. The only one open was a ringky dingky "No-tell Motel"
type of hotel just on the other side of town.
"I only have one room left so all of you will have to
share," The night manager said as he greedily counted the extra
money Erik threw at him. Pyro shook his head, `Wonder if Charles
would take me back,' he thought to himself just as he heard Mystique
once again scream "Mouse!" while Toad and Sabretooth once more
chased the rodent around the property trying to catch it first.