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FF: Natural Born Losers NC17 (CH 1 of 1)

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  • Linda J
    Rated: NC17 for extreme violence and very strong language Universe: Movieverse Timeline: nonspecific Summery: Sabretooth encounters two teenage homicidal
    Message 1 of 1 , Sep 6, 2005
      Rated: NC17 for extreme violence and very strong language
      Universe: Movieverse
      Timeline: nonspecific
      Summery: Sabretooth encounters two teenage homicidal maniacs on the
      killing rampage.
      Disclaimer: You know the routine; I don't own `em and I won't be
      making any money on this story either. Oh well…

      Natural Born Losers
      By Linda J.

      You know me. I'm easy to please; I'm pretty easy to get along with.
      I don't expect much outta people, really; just leave me the hell
      alone, and chances are I'll leave you alone. That seems simple
      enough; but of course, I always run into some dumb-fuck who just
      don't get it.
      Take last week for instance; there I was mindin' my own damn
      business, gettin' ready ta eat a late night snack at some roadside
      diner when a couple of lowlifes come struttin' in, lookin' to start
      some shit. God, I don't know which of `em stunk worse, the guy who
      reeked of beer, or the bimbo he had his arm around. That bitch musta
      found the cheapest bottle of sewer water some Frenchie tried to pass
      off as perfume and dumped the whole damn thing on her dirty skin.
      Christ, I felt my sinuses start to clog the moment they stepped
      inside. But, like I was sayin', I'm a nice guy. I don't start
      trouble over dumb shit; well, not usually. I honestly had every
      intention on just sittin' there in my booth, blow my nose, and mind
      my own shit. *sigh* I should have known it wouldn't go down like
      that, it rarely does. Ironically this time it didn't make any
      difference that I was a mutant, not to those two psychos. Hah…
      psychos! Now that sure sounds funny comin' from me don't it?
      Anyhow, I doubt they even noticed me sittin' there in the back
      booth, which only shows how amateur the dumb shits were. I could
      assume that I just blend into my surroundings, but damn, I was only
      two booths away from the front door.
      Did I already mention just how small this joint in the middle of
      Nowheresville USA was? I've seen bigger shithouses! The place was
      nothing more than one room with a grease grill stationed directly
      behind four booths two on each side of the cash register, a room in
      the back for storage, and a john.
      At the time these fuckheads came into the place, there were two old
      farts sittin' in a booth on the other side of the cash register from
      me, a cook, a waitress, and some retarded kid pushing a mop around.
      I dunno, maybe the white trash lovebirds saw the place and thought
      it would make an easy target.
      They started out standing in front of the two old guys' table and
      harassing them. First, the scrawny, oily haired, son of a bitch said
      that he heard they was going to buy him and his, *a-hem*, lady, a
      couple of steak dinners. Well of course the old man told him to jack
      off, but he and his bitch just laughed at `em. Next, the waitress
      stepped in and told them if they were going to give her customers a
      hard time they could leave.
      Now mind you, I was staying out of the whole damn mess, even when I
      saw the cunt grab a fork and jab it in the waitress' eye
      and "scarecrow" reach in his pocket and pull out a gun. The ol' lady
      howled in pain and ran for the sink to wash out her eye. It's a damn
      good thing I got a strong stomach, `cause blood come spurtin' out of
      her eye socket like she was squeezin' a ketchup packet. Before
      anyone even had a chance to think, that mother-fucker shot one of
      the old men in the chest and he flopped over in his seat. For a
      split second I hoped that maybe, just maybe these two shit bags
      would just tear out of there and disappear into the night… but,
      well, let's just say that from there on, things got dramatically
      Ya have to believe me, I was really trying to stay out of it. I know
      how important it is for me to keep a low profile. I hadn't said a
      word up until then, and frankly it didn't look like such a great
      idea to strike up a conversation. I swear, I kept my trap shut and
      waited to see what they would do next. I know everything that
      happened next musta went down in only a matter of seconds, but it
      all seemed to run in slow motion as I watched on. I recall the
      retard that had been mopping the floor just stood there and started
      to yell at them as the cook turned and ran, but before he could make
      it to the back room he was shot in the back of the head, splattering
      his brains all over the place. As I recall, the other old guy tried
      to duck under the table but then the cunt pulled out her gun and
      shot him as well. Next thing I know, Miss Tramp starts prancin' over
      to my table waving her toy at me. She leaned in closer to me and
      with a shit-eating grin on her face she glanced out the window and
      remarked, "Like my bike?"
      I didn't need to look outside to understand this reject from the
      Jerry Springer Show was actually trying to claim MY Harley! I might
      have laughed at the dumb bitch if it hadn't been for the serious
      sinus headache I now had `cause of her. I just glared at her and I
      took another bite of my burger.
      "There's just one problem," she had the balls to add. "You got my
      keys." Now, while all this is happenin', I notice Mister Maniac
      grabs the retard by the arm.
      "Leave him alone!" I heard the waitress plea. "He has Asperger's!
      Syndrome" The twerp started chucklin' at her and pointed his gun at
      the kid's head.
      "Ass-burgers? Well you know where burgers go, don't you kid?" and
      then he started to shove the retard toward the grill. "Now pull your
      pants down and jump up there; let's see you cook those burgers!"
      Even with my nose stopped up I could still smell the terror that kid
      was feelin'. When that son of a bitch put the nozzle to his temple,
      the retard started to cry as he surrendered and pulled down his
      jeans. He started to timidly prop himself onto the grill fearing the
      obvious pain he would experience when suddenly that fucker barked at
      him and pushed him hard onto the hot metal. Instantly, the kid
      began to whimper and cry and squirm around, too scared to get off
      while the waitress cried and begged his tormentor to let him go. Now
      under normal conditions, the smell of searin' flesh is about the
      loveliest thing I can think of, but these two idiots had already
      sorely pissed me off. I didn't even waste my time to give those
      fuckers a warnin' as they both started to laugh like jackals; I just
      jumped up outta my seat and rammed my hand into that whore's gut. I
      twisted my fingers around, tearing into every organ I could feel,
      making sure she felt every bit of that beau-ti-ful agony.
      Her screamin' got `lover boy's' attention and the fool turned toward
      me and started to unload his gun. I felt a bullet rip into the side
      of my throat a couple more burned into my chest; I was a little
      light headed for a moment or two and damn if those things don't
      sting; but it's not like a few metal pellets are gonna do any long
      term damage to me. I fell to my knees and I allowed myself to slump
      over waiting to heal. The dumb fuck went to comfort his dying bitch,
      giving the retard the chance to finally get off the grill. He was
      only inches away from me holding her bloody body close to his when
      he lifted up his gun to shoot me one more time in the head. When I
      raised my head, he saw I was in fact quite well. "What the fuck are
      you?" he asked me in shock.
      "The last thing you're sorry ass is ever gonna see." I told him, and
      in a flash I was on him rippin' out his throat with my teeth. I got
      up and gave him a swift kick to the gut just for the hell of it, and
      I spit his blood out on the dead bitch's face. I sat back down and
      gulped my burger and fires down in a couple of bites; hell I wasn't
      gonna let this little situation stop me from what I came in here
      for, but I knew I wouldn't have time to enjoy the meal like I
      normally would. I got up and threw a twenty on the table outta habit
      and left the joint.
      "So that's your story." Magneto sighed in frustration. "Well you
      always had a knack for finding trouble."
      "But I didn't find THIS trouble, it found me!" Sabretooth insisted
      angrily only to have the man of magnetism groan and turned to walk
      "You believe me don't you Wart?" Sabretooth turned hoping that at
      least Toad would understand.
      "Sure I do." The green mutant rendered a sarcastic smirk. "Everybody
      knows you just a sweet heart of guy." Sabretooth growled softly at
      his comrade for a moment or so, waiting for him to apologize. "Oh
      relax mate, no one's mad at you for getting into the news, AGAIN;
      even if we may have to relocate because of it."
      "Speak for yourself!" Pyro grumbled. "I finally got my room looking
      the way I want it."
      "C'mon blokes," Toad reached for his pocket and pulled out his car
      keys. "Let's go out for a couple of beers and forget all about
      this." Sabe shrugged his shoulders and started to head out the
      door. "Yeah, why not."
      "Are you sure it's a smart idea to let Sabretooth come along?" Pyro
      asked skeptically once the felinoid was outside.
      "Sure it is. Can you think of a better way to get some excitement
      going tonight? Trust me," Toad grinned mischievously. "By the end of
      tonight Sabretooth will be on the rampage again!" THE END
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