FIC: True-Fixed and Resting Quality (Whats Past is Prologue 16/18)
- True-Fixed and Resting Quality (Whats Past is
Scott descended the escalator marked Baggage Claim
and Ground Transportation. He was surprised to find
Logan waiting at the bottom of it. What are you doing
here? he asked, giving his lover a quick hug.
I figured Id save the Foundation the cab fare,
Logan answered. Fits in with the austerity program. I
dont like to do anything that makes Worthington
happy, but I decided to make an exception this time.
Yeah. They smiled at each other. Plus I figured if
you wanted to talk about it, Id give you a chance
before you get home. You know how it is. As soon as
you get there, half the school and most of the team
will be all over you with assorted demands. While
were driving, its just you and me.
He looked towards the baggage carousel. You dont
have any luggage to pick up, do you?
Scott shook his head. It would have been nice if I
could have just packed Alex up and brought him home
with me, but it wasnt that easy.
How did it go? Logan asked, once they were in the
It was hard.
Ill bet. Would he talk to you?
Yeah, he talked a lot. Hes angry. Bitter.
You expected that, eh?
Yeah. No surprise there. But that wasnt all, at
least I dont think so. I felt like there was
something there between us, something more. Some
connection. I dont know. Maybe I was just imagining
it. Maybe I just wanted it enough that I imagined it
Did you recognize him?
Funny. He asked that, too. First thing. Scott
sighed. No, not at all. I kept looking at him,
looking for that. Just wanting some glimpse of my
little brother in this... this man, this stranger
sitting there. I never saw him. He shook his head,
remembering. I didnt know him at all. Not just by
looks, I mean. By who he is, the person he grew to
become. I told him I wanted to get him out. He thought
I meant right then and there. As in, kill all the
guards and take him with me. Thats what he thought I
was going to do. And he thought it was a great idea.
Hes trouble, Scott. Hes gonna wreak havoc with the
X-Men if you ever do get him out.
I know. I dont doubt that. I think I can handle him,
though. At least I hope I can. And I feel like Ive
got to try.
Did you find out what his gift is?
Yeah. Some kind of force thing. It comes out of his
hands. Maybe its related to mine. Logan theres
something about Alex and me. Our powers dont affect
each other. Thats why when I looked at him right
after I killed my father nothing happened to Alex. I
blasted him and nothing happened. He figured it out.
He tried his on me while the guard wasnt looking. It
didnt hurt. And then he told me to look at him.
Yeah. Neither said anything for a while, both of
them looking at the road. Just for a minute, but it
was really something. It felt... important. Profound.
Compelling. Hes the only person in the world I can
see unassisted. The only one who can look me in the
eye. I think I need him in my life. Scott looked
down. He hates me, he said, after a while. He
thought I was going to come spring him, back when we
were kids. And when I didnt, he decided I must have
died. Now he thinks Ive been living in luxury while
hes been in prison. And the worst part is hes
You havent had it so easy.
What did you think of me when you first came here?
Spoiled rich guy, right? Logan didnt say anything.
Well, thats what Alex thinks, too. He thought some
more. He kept saying my father and my mother to
talk about our parents. You know? Like he was talking
to someone outside his family, not his brother.
You mean like a dig? Like saying you werent his
No, it wasnt purposive. He kept correcting himself.
It was just that we *are* strangers to each other. He
talked to me like he would to a stranger, and then
hed remember. It meant something to me that he kept
correcting himself like that, that he kept *trying* to
think of me as his brother. It made me feel like there
is still something between us, but he didnt know what
to do with it, whatever our connection is. I dont
know what to do with it, either.
Why did he confess? Did he tell you?
To protect me. So I wouldnt go to prison. He thought
theyd go easier on him, because he was so young.
Scott swallowed hard. It must have been hell for him.
He was such a little kid, such a young thirteen.
Maximum security facility for violent juveniles. You
can imagine what the rest of the inmates were like.
They drove in silence for a few minutes. He wrote
home, Scott continued after a while. Wrote to our
mother, every week. She never answered, never visited
him. Not once, in five years.
She should meet Olivers mother. They could get
together and start a cold, heartless bitch club.
She thought hed killed her husband.
Yeah, well he didnt. And he was thirteen. You did,
and it was an accident. You were still her kids.
Scott didnt say anything for a while. He... he said
something, something that sounded like he doesnt just
He told me he still has this thing. Id given it to
him. I dont even remember doing it, but he said he
wed been to this toy store and hed wanted it and Id
spent my allowance to get it for him. And he kept it.
Scott stopped for a minute to compose himself. He
said he still has it, that its the one thing left
from his childhood.
What is it?
A superhero action figure. Ironic, huh?
The buzzer woke Adam. He got out of bed, pulling a
bathrobe around him. A quick glance verified that Ezra
was still sleeping. Who could that be? he asked
himself, aloud, as he walked to the door.
Jean-Paul! What are you doing here?
Can I come in? I have to talk to you. Im sorry its
so late. I had nowhere else I could go.
Of course. Come in. Whats wrong?
Jean-Paul didnt say anything, but as soon as the door
was closed he threw his arms around Adam. Hesitant at
first, Adam returned the embrace and they held each
other. Jean-Paul let go of Adam after a minute, saying
Im sorry. I shouldnt have done that.
Whats wrong? Adam asked again.
I did something. Something terrible. But I dont
feel terrible. I know it was wrong, part of me feels
that, feels bad. But mostly I feel... successful.
Triumphant. Happy. Im so confused. I have to talk
to someone. I cant tell anyone but you. Im sorry,
he said again. I shouldnt burden you with this.
And its late and... I didnt know where else to go,
who else to turn to. No one can know what I did.
Its okay. I owe you one. You listened to me when no
one else could know. He took Jean-Paul by the hand
and they walked over to the couch. Sit down. What
I got rid of Rick Kapell. Hes not a threat anymore.
Adam took a deep breath. Okay, he said, after a
minute, nodding slowly. We can handle this if we work
together. I think the Outpost is the best place for
you for now. Dont tell them anything. Just fly
straight there tonight. Tell Wendy and Arthur youll
explain later. Well work out what to say to them
after we know more. Ezra and I will join you soon.
Ill stay here long enough to find out if theyre
looking for you. What kind of evidence is there?
Fingerprints? Does Canada have an extradition treaty
with the U.S.?
Adam! Stop, stop. Hes alive. I didnt kill him.
Thank God! Adam sighed in obvious relief. And then
added, after a minute, What did you do to him?
Blackmailed him, I guess. I took pictures of him,
pictures he wont want seen.
What kind of pictures?
Naked, handcuffed to the bed.
You had sex with him and took pictures?
Oui. Well, more pictures than sex. I told him Ill
send them to his editor and his parents if he
prints dirt about Scott.
Youre in the pictures? Doesnt that compromise you,
Not really. Theres not much of me in the pictures.
Only parts most people wouldnt recognize.
Okay, this Ive got to see.
Show me the pictures.
Somehow this conversation is not going the way I
thought it would.
Hey, if anyone shows up on my doorstep and says they
blackmailed someone with X-rated pictures, they have
to show me the pictures. Its a house rule.
Jean-Paul laughed, and started to dig in his bag for
the camera. This is serious business, you know. I
committed a felony.
I know. Im taking it seriously. Mostly. I was going
to flee the country with you when I thought youd
committed murder. Do I get points for that?
Oui. Lots of points. Did you mean it?
What do you think? Did I sound like I meant it?
Oui. You sounded deadly serious. And very
resourceful. All ready to find out the best way to be
fugitives together. I was impressed.
Thats how I always am when I think youve murdered
someone. Its just something that never came up
Quite a gesture of loyalty to an ex-partner.
Yeah, well we should talk about that. But first show
me the pictures. Jean-Paul handed over the camera and
Adam paged through them. Theyre pretty hot, Adam
said, after a while.
Merci. I think. I didnt come here to have my skills
as a porn photographer critiqued.
I know. Im sorry. I am taking this seriously now.
Im worried, Jean-Paul. Are you sure he wont call
Im sure. He doesnt want these pictures to get out.
Hell do what I told him to.
Maybe not. Youre threatening his livelihood. He
might worry that hell lose his job if you send the
pictures, but he could lose it for not writing the
X-Men story, too, you know?
Jean-Paul shook his head. He can write the story. I
told him that. I said its fine to do more of the
anti-X-Men, anti-mutant ones, like he did about the
service. Its the personal stuff I told him he
couldnt print, the stuff about Scott.
What does he know? Did you find out?
Jean-Paul nodded. He knows about Scott's time as a
hustler. He thinks the Vermont birth certificate
story is real. He thinks the story is Billionaire
Mutant with Illegitimate Son and 'X-Men Leader Former
Teenage Prostitute.' He was going to look for Maria
Summers. This way he stops before he finds out she
Thats good. Very good. So he can still print the
rest of the story. That keeps him motivated to comply.
Hes got something to lose if he doesnt comply and
not much to lose if he does. If hes told his editor a
bit about Scott, he can just say the story didnt pan
out, but you havent stopped him altogether. I think
you did it just right.
Most often, if extortion gets reported, its because
the blackmailer demanded too much.
What? Have you been reading The Extortionists
Handbook or something? Jean-Paul laughed. So, he
thought you were just there for sex?"
Oui. It was... hard.
I saw. Hard, and in his mouth.
Not what I meant.
I know. And Im sure it was hard for you to do.
Actually, its hard for me to think of you doing
this, Adam continued. Its so not like you. I
wouldnt have been so surprised if you beat him up.
Or killed him?
If it got out of hand. Thats what I thought had
happened. But this? Youre not deceptive.
I deceived you. When I went to see Jake.
You would have told me the truth. In time.
Oui. I would have. He looked down. Adam?
Im a criminal, I guess. But Im glad I did it.
Im glad you did it, too. But dont tell Scott what
you did for him. He wont approve.
I wont. He looked at Adam quizzically. Im
surprised youre not more upset about this.
Im a little surprised, too. I think adjusting my
sights down from murder probably helped.
I didnt mean for you to think that.
I know. Neither said anything for a minute. I think
the war made a difference, too.
Ive generally been a pretty law abiding sort, you
know? At least in this country. I certainly didnt
feel bound by the laws in Belarus. Or a whole lot of
other places I went on assignment. Lots of places I
was worried about not getting caught breaking laws,
not about breaking them. But here... He shook his
head, then continued. Then we lived outside the law
for a while, because of the war. Xaviers was
destroyed, all those people we knew were locked up,
because of the war. Walter *died* because of the war.
It changes your point of view. Home doesnt feel so
different from other countries. He shrugged. Im not
saying Rick Kapells investigation of Scott has
anything to do with the war, really. It just changed
my point of view, is all Im saying.
Je sais. Moi aussi. Im not used to working outside
the law. With Alpha Flight, we were the law, hein? I
dont know I would have considered doing this a year
A year ago I think I would have been identifying with
Rick a whole lot more. Hes just trying to do his job,
get a story. That could be me, you know. Im pretty
dogged when Im working, I dont let anyone dissuade
You wouldnt print what he wants to. Youve decided
not to write things before, when publishing would hurt
I know. Like you said before, its a question of
where your loyalties lie. I know where mine do. I
believe in a free press. I believe in some other
things more. They looked at each other. Jean-Paul?
I want to do that, he said, gesturing to the picture
displayed on the camera. With you. Preferably without
pictures and blackmail.
How about handcuffs?
Handcuffs would be okay.
Unfortunately, I seem to have left mine in Ricks
apartment. On Ricks wrists.
Oh well. You cant have everything.
Jean-Paul leaned in and kissed Adam, sucking on his
tongue, stroking his hair. He pulled back after a
minute. I think we should talk, Adam, he said,
before we do anything else.
I agree. Neither of them said anything for a minute.
Only were not talking, Adam said after a while.
Youre right. We need to. I dont want to just have
sex and... have everything still so unresolved.
Moi non plus. Thats what we did last time. It didnt
feel good, afterwards. I dont know what to say,
Me, neither. He took a deep breath. Yes, I do. I
have something to say. He paused for a minute, then
began, Jean-Paul, Im not a brave person.
Yes, you are.
Shut up. I came up with something to say. Listen to
me for a minute, okay?
Ive always been kind of a coward, pretty risk
averse. Its kept me alive sometimes, when Ive been
working in war zones. Instinct for self-preservation
is good. But fear can get out of hand. I dont want
to let it rule me. It has too often." He took a deep
breath. "I love you, Jean-Paul Beaubier. Taking
Jean-Pauls hand, he continued. Ive been afraid.
Afraid to try to rebuild a relationship after all we
did that hurt each other. Afraid you couldnt forgive
me for Jake. Not just that. Afraid you couldnt
accept that I cant cut off all contact with him. And
I cant. Im not going to do that again. If you and
I... well, if we got back together, I wouldnt promise
again not to talk to him. Its over between him and
me, I can promise you that. I wont have sex with
him; I wont be alone with him. I could promise to
tell you any time I spoke to him, if that would help.
I can promise Ill tell you everything we said, but
not to have nothing to do with him again. He sighed.
Im getting ahead of myself.
I understand about Jake. It was wrong of me to tell
you not to speak to him in the first place. I wouldnt
do that again. If we got back together. You want to?
Adam nodded. I decided something. I was just trying
to figure out how to tell you, and how to ask you. I
left a message for you, to call me when you got back
to Xaviers. Partly that was because I found something
out, something we need to talk about. But mostly it
was because I decided something.
Adam paused, took a deep breath and continued. I
decided that I can be the man I want to be. He the
man I want to be hes not a coward. Hes willing to
take a chance for something important. Hes willing to
talk to you after youve been with another man all
weekend because thats what I thought was happening
and ask you to take him back. Hes willing to try
again to rebuild what we had. Hes scared shitless,
mind you, that youll tell him you like the other guy
better. Or that youll be willing to try but it will
all go wrong and hell be hurt all over again. Still,
hes brave enough to try even though hes really,
really scared. Thats who I want to be.
Adam. Jean-Paul shook his head. You are brave. Hes
who you always have been.
No, Im not brave. But Im trying to be. I love you.
I will be faithful to you and I will work so hard with
you to build the relationship we both want and need. I
will come up with a job in New York, so we can live
there together, now that youre an X-Man. And Ill
follow you if you need to go somewhere else. Like if
you murder somebody and have to flee the country. I
want us to be lovers again, and partners. I miss you
so much. I miss *us*. I want to be with you for the
rest of my life. If youll still have me.
Oui. Un seul homme. Cest toi, Adam.
Its hard to believe youd take me back after all
I am as constant as the northern star.
Adam smiled. Can I suck your cock now?
Sil te plait.
They kissed again as Adam unzipped him. And then Adam
was on the floor, holding Jean-Pauls hard cock,
licking up and down. Did you come in his mouth? he
No. I didnt come when I was with him.
Saving it for me?
I didnt know I was, but oui.
Adam took the head in his mouth, sucking and licking.
Fingers moving up and down the shaft, tongue stroking.
Jean-Pauls hands were in his hair. He was talking to
him, whispering endearments in French as Adam bobbed
up and down. The taste and the feel of Jean-Pauls
cock in his mouth was so completely what he needed
right then. Adam sucked harder, moved faster, took him
deeper as his lover encouraged him with words
dissolving into incoherent sounds. As Jean-Paul came
deep inside his throat Adam had one clear thought.
He stayed on the floor there afterwards, head in
Did I hurt you? I think I pulled your hair too hard.
No, it was fine. Jean-Paul?
I was thinking something, when you came. Just really
clear. This one thought in my head. This is what I
want only him. It was like it all made sense or
It makes sense to me, too, mon ami. He pulled Adam
up onto his lap. Do you want to move to the bedroom?
Yeah. Why dont you take those clothes off?
Unbuttoning Jean-Pauls shirt.
Sure. He pulled off the robe Adam was wearing, too,
Why are you laughing?
The socks. It just looks funny. Adam was standing
there, naked except for socks. Jean-Paul held his
lovers hard cock for a minute. Im more interested
in this, he said, but why are you wearing socks?
Adam shook his head. God, I got so distracted.
Murder, blackmail, sex. I forgot to tell you. He
shook his head again. Well get back to sex. After
socks. Jean-Paul laughed again. Perhaps no more
murder or blackmail talk, though?
Okay, why socks? he continued. Because my feet are
too distracting without them. I couldnt sleep. As
Jean-Paul looked at him quizzically, Adam pulled off a
sock. His lovers expression changed from puzzled to
surprised as Adams foot appeared. It was neon green,
glowing in the lamplight.
Ezra. He was the one who manifested. Jean was right.
Thats his gift color changing. Hank wasnt turning
blue; Ezra was turning Hank blue. And changing a few
things different colors.
Exactly. I figured it out, but I wanted to make sure
I was right. Idiot that I am, I told him to do this,
he added, gesturing at his feet. And then tried all
day to get him to understand that I want them changed
back. Toddler communication drives me nuts sometimes.
I put him to bed, finally, figured Ill try again
Mofic Website: www.angelfire.com/comics/mo
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