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FIC: True-Fixed and Resting Quality (What’s Past is Prologue 16/18)

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  • Mo
    True-Fixed and Resting Quality (What’s Past is Prologue 16/18) Scott descended the escalator marked “Baggage Claim” and “Ground Transportation.” He
    Message 1 of 1 , Aug 2, 2005
      True-Fixed and Resting Quality (What’s Past is
      Prologue 16/18)

      Scott descended the escalator marked “Baggage Claim”
      and “Ground Transportation.” He was surprised to find
      Logan waiting at the bottom of it. “What are you doing
      here?” he asked, giving his lover a quick hug.

      “I figured I’d save the Foundation the cab fare,”
      Logan answered. “Fits in with the austerity program. I
      don’t like to do anything that makes Worthington
      happy, but I decided to make an exception this time.”


      “Yeah.” They smiled at each other. “Plus I figured if
      you wanted to talk about it, I’d give you a chance
      before you get home. You know how it is. As soon as
      you get there, half the school and most of the team
      will be all over you with assorted demands. While
      we’re driving, it’s just you and me.”

      “Thanks, Logan.”

      He looked towards the baggage carousel. “You don’t
      have any luggage to pick up, do you?”

      Scott shook his head. “It would have been nice if I
      could have just packed Alex up and brought him home
      with me, but it wasn’t that easy.”

      “How did it go?” Logan asked, once they were in the

      “It was hard.”

      “I’ll bet. Would he talk to you?”

      “Yeah, he talked a lot. He’s angry. Bitter.”

      “You expected that, eh?”

      “Yeah. No surprise there. But that wasn’t all, at
      least I don’t think so. I felt like there was
      something there between us, something more. Some
      connection. I don’t know. Maybe I was just imagining
      it. Maybe I just wanted it enough that I imagined it
      was there.”

      “Did you recognize him?”

      “Funny. He asked that, too. First thing.” Scott
      sighed. “No, not at all. I kept looking at him,
      looking for that. Just wanting some glimpse of my
      little brother in this... this man, this stranger
      sitting there. I never saw him.” He shook his head,
      remembering. “I didn’t know him at all. Not just by
      looks, I mean. By who he is, the person he grew to
      become. I told him I wanted to get him out. He thought
      I meant right then and there. As in, kill all the
      guards and take him with me. That’s what he thought I
      was going to do. And he thought it was a great idea.”

      “He’s trouble, Scott. He’s gonna wreak havoc with the
      X-Men if you ever do get him out.”

      “I know. I don’t doubt that. I think I can handle him,
      though. At least I hope I can. And I feel like I’ve
      got to try.”

      “Did you find out what his gift is?”

      “Yeah. Some kind of force thing. It comes out of his
      hands. Maybe it’s related to mine. Logan – there’s
      something about Alex and me. Our powers don’t affect
      each other. That’s why when I looked at him – right
      after I killed my father – nothing happened to Alex. I
      blasted him and nothing happened. He figured it out.
      He tried his on me while the guard wasn’t looking. It
      didn’t hurt. And then he told me to look at him.

      “Did you?”

      “Yeah.” Neither said anything for a while, both of
      them looking at the road. “Just for a minute, but it
      was really something. It felt... important. Profound.
      Compelling. He’s the only person in the world I can
      see unassisted. The only one who can look me in the
      eye. I think I need him in my life.” Scott looked
      down. “He hates me,” he said, after a while. “He
      thought I was going to come spring him, back when we
      were kids. And when I didn’t, he decided I must have
      died. Now he thinks I’ve been living in luxury while
      he’s been in prison. And the worst part is he’s

      “You haven’t had it so easy.”

      “What did you think of me when you first came here?
      Spoiled rich guy, right?” Logan didn’t say anything.
      “Well, that’s what Alex thinks, too.” He thought some
      more. “He kept saying ‘my father’ and ‘my mother’ to
      talk about our parents. You know? Like he was talking
      to someone outside his family, not his brother.”

      “You mean like a dig? Like saying you weren’t his
      brother anymore?”

      “No, it wasn’t purposive. He kept correcting himself.
      It was just that we *are* strangers to each other. He
      talked to me like he would to a stranger, and then
      he’d remember. It meant something to me that he kept
      correcting himself like that, that he kept *trying* to
      think of me as his brother. It made me feel like there
      is still something between us, but he didn’t know what
      to do with it, whatever our connection is. I don’t
      know what to do with it, either.”

      “Why did he confess? Did he tell you?”

      “To protect me. So I wouldn’t go to prison. He thought
      they’d go easier on him, because he was so young.”
      Scott swallowed hard. “It must have been hell for him.
      He was such a little kid, such a young thirteen.
      Maximum security facility for violent juveniles. You
      can imagine what the rest of the inmates were like.”
      They drove in silence for a few minutes. “He wrote
      home,” Scott continued after a while. “Wrote to our
      mother, every week. She never answered, never visited
      him. Not once, in five years.”

      “She should meet Oliver’s mother. They could get
      together and start a cold, heartless bitch club.”

      “She thought he’d killed her husband.”

      “Yeah, well he didn’t. And he was thirteen. You did,
      and it was an accident. You were still her kids.”

      Scott didn’t say anything for a while. “He... he said
      something, something that sounded like he doesn’t just
      hate me.”


      “He told me he still has this thing. I’d given it to
      him. I don’t even remember doing it, but he said he
      we’d been to this toy store and he’d wanted it and I’d
      spent my allowance to get it for him. And he kept it.”
      Scott stopped for a minute to compose himself. “He
      said he still has it, that it’s the one thing left
      from his childhood.”

      “What is it?”

      “A superhero action figure. Ironic, huh?”


      The buzzer woke Adam. He got out of bed, pulling a
      bathrobe around him. A quick glance verified that Ezra
      was still sleeping. “Who could that be?” he asked
      himself, aloud, as he walked to the door.

      “Jean-Paul! What are you doing here?”

      “Can I come in? I have to talk to you. I’m sorry it’s
      so late. I had nowhere else I could go.”

      “Of course. Come in. What’s wrong?”

      Jean-Paul didn’t say anything, but as soon as the door
      was closed he threw his arms around Adam. Hesitant at
      first, Adam returned the embrace and they held each
      other. Jean-Paul let go of Adam after a minute, saying
      “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

      “What’s wrong?” Adam asked again.

      “I did something. Something terrible. But I don’t
      feel terrible. I know it was wrong, part of me feels
      that, feels bad. But mostly I feel... successful.
      Triumphant. Happy. I’m so confused. I have to talk
      to someone. I can’t tell anyone but you. I’m sorry,”
      he said again. “I shouldn’t burden you with this.
      And it’s late and... I didn’t know where else to go,
      who else to turn to. No one can know what I did.”

      “It’s okay. I owe you one. You listened to me when no
      one else could know.” He took Jean-Paul by the hand
      and they walked over to the couch. “Sit down. What

      “I got rid of Rick Kapell. He’s not a threat anymore.”

      Adam took a deep breath. “Okay,” he said, after a
      minute, nodding slowly. “We can handle this if we work
      together. I think the Outpost is the best place for
      you for now. Don’t tell them anything. Just fly
      straight there tonight. Tell Wendy and Arthur you’ll
      explain later. We’ll work out what to say to them
      after we know more. Ezra and I will join you soon.
      I’ll stay here long enough to find out if they’re
      looking for you. What kind of evidence is there?
      Fingerprints? Does Canada have an extradition treaty
      with the U.S.?”

      “Adam! Stop, stop. He’s alive. I didn’t kill him.”

      “Thank God!” Adam sighed in obvious relief. And then
      added, after a minute, “What did you do to him?”

      “Blackmailed him, I guess. I took pictures of him,
      pictures he won’t want seen.”

      “What kind of pictures?”



      “Naked, handcuffed to the bed.”

      “You had sex with him and took pictures?”

      “Oui. Well, more pictures than sex. I told him I’ll
      send them to his editor – and his parents – if he
      prints dirt about Scott.”

      “You’re in the pictures? Doesn’t that compromise you,

      “Not really. There’s not much of me in the pictures.
      Only parts most people wouldn’t recognize.”

      “Okay, this I’ve got to see.”


      “Show me the pictures.”

      “Somehow this conversation is not going the way I
      thought it would.”

      “Hey, if anyone shows up on my doorstep and says they
      blackmailed someone with X-rated pictures, they have
      to show me the pictures. It’s a house rule.”

      Jean-Paul laughed, and started to dig in his bag for
      the camera. “This is serious business, you know. I
      committed a felony.”

      “I know. I’m taking it seriously. Mostly. I was going
      to flee the country with you when I thought you’d
      committed murder. Do I get points for that?”

      “Oui. Lots of points. Did you mean it?”

      “What do you think? Did I sound like I meant it?”

      “Oui. You sounded deadly serious. And very
      resourceful. All ready to find out the best way to be
      fugitives together. I was impressed.”

      “That’s how I always am when I think you’ve murdered
      someone. It’s just something that never came up

      “Quite a gesture of loyalty to an ex-partner.”

      “Yeah, well we should talk about that. But first show
      me the pictures.” Jean-Paul handed over the camera and
      Adam paged through them. “They’re pretty hot,” Adam
      said, after a while.

      “Merci. I think. I didn’t come here to have my skills
      as a porn photographer critiqued.”

      “I know. I’m sorry. I am taking this seriously now.”


      “I’m worried, Jean-Paul. Are you sure he won’t call
      the police?”

      “I’m sure. He doesn’t want these pictures to get out.
      He’ll do what I told him to.”

      “Maybe not. You’re threatening his livelihood. He
      might worry that he’ll lose his job if you send the
      pictures, but he could lose it for not writing the
      X-Men story, too, you know?”

      Jean-Paul shook his head. “He can write the story. I
      told him that. I said it’s fine to do more of the
      anti-X-Men, anti-mutant ones, like he did about the
      service. It’s the personal stuff I told him he
      couldn’t print, the stuff about Scott.”

      “What does he know? Did you find out?”

      Jean-Paul nodded. “He knows about Scott's time as a
      hustler. He thinks the Vermont birth certificate
      story is real. He thinks the story is ‘Billionaire
      Mutant with Illegitimate Son’ and 'X-Men Leader Former
      Teenage Prostitute.' He was going to look for Maria
      Summers. This way he stops before he finds out she
      isn’t real.”

      “That’s good. Very good. So he can still print the
      rest of the story. That keeps him motivated to comply.
      He’s got something to lose if he doesn’t comply and
      not much to lose if he does. If he’s told his editor a
      bit about Scott, he can just say the story didn’t pan
      out, but you haven’t stopped him altogether. I think
      you did it just right.”

      “Most often, if extortion gets reported, it’s because
      the blackmailer demanded too much.”

      “What? Have you been reading The Extortionist’s
      Handbook or something?” Jean-Paul laughed. “So, he
      thought you were just there for sex?"

      “Oui. It was... hard.”

      “I saw. Hard, and in his mouth.”

      “Not what I meant.”

      “I know. And I’m sure it was hard for you to do.
      Actually, it’s hard for me to think of you doing
      this,” Adam continued. “It’s so not like you. I
      wouldn’t have been so surprised if you beat him up.”

      “Or killed him?”

      “If it got out of hand. That’s what I thought had
      happened. But this? You’re not deceptive.”

      “I deceived you. When I went to see Jake.”

      “You would have told me the truth. In time.”

      “Oui. I would have.” He looked down. “Adam?”


      “I’m a criminal, I guess. But I’m glad I did it.”

      “I’m glad you did it, too. But don’t tell Scott what
      you did for him. He won’t approve.”

      “I won’t.” He looked at Adam quizzically. “I’m
      surprised you’re not more upset about this.”

      “I’m a little surprised, too. I think adjusting my
      sights down from murder probably helped.”

      “I didn’t mean for you to think that.”

      “I know.” Neither said anything for a minute. “I think
      the war made a difference, too.”

      “The war?”

      “I’ve generally been a pretty law abiding sort, you
      know? At least in this country. I certainly didn’t
      feel bound by the laws in Belarus. Or a whole lot of
      other places I went on assignment. Lots of places I
      was worried about not getting caught breaking laws,
      not about breaking them. But here...” He shook his
      head, then continued. “Then we lived outside the law
      for a while, because of the war. Xavier’s was
      destroyed, all those people we knew were locked up,
      because of the war. Walter *died* because of the war.
      It changes your point of view. Home doesn’t feel so
      different from other countries.” He shrugged. “I’m not
      saying Rick Kapell’s investigation of Scott has
      anything to do with the war, really. It just changed
      my point of view, is all I’m saying.”

      “Je sais. Moi aussi. I’m not used to working outside
      the law. With Alpha Flight, we were the law, hein? I
      don’t know I would have considered doing this a year

      “A year ago I think I would have been identifying with
      Rick a whole lot more. He’s just trying to do his job,
      get a story. That could be me, you know. I’m pretty
      dogged when I’m working, I don’t let anyone dissuade

      “You wouldn’t print what he wants to. You’ve decided
      not to write things before, when publishing would hurt

      “I know. Like you said before, it’s a question of
      where your loyalties lie. I know where mine do. I
      believe in a free press. I believe in some other
      things more.” They looked at each other. “Jean-Paul?”


      “I want to do that,” he said, gesturing to the picture
      displayed on the camera. “With you. Preferably without
      pictures and blackmail.”

      “How about handcuffs?”

      “Handcuffs would be okay.”

      “Unfortunately, I seem to have left mine in Rick’s
      apartment. On Rick’s wrists.”

      “Oh well. You can’t have everything.”

      Jean-Paul leaned in and kissed Adam, sucking on his
      tongue, stroking his hair. He pulled back after a
      minute. “I think we should talk, Adam,” he said,
      “before we do anything else.”

      “I agree.” Neither of them said anything for a minute.
      “Only we’re not talking,” Adam said after a while.
      “You’re right. We need to. I don’t want to just have
      sex and... have everything still so unresolved.”

      “Moi non plus. That’s what we did last time. It didn’t
      feel good, afterwards. I don’t know what to say,

      “Me, neither.” He took a deep breath. “Yes, I do. I
      have something to say.” He paused for a minute, then
      began, “Jean-Paul, I’m not a brave person.”

      “Yes, you are.”

      “Shut up. I came up with something to say. Listen to
      me for a minute, okay?”


      “I’ve always been kind of a coward, pretty risk
      averse. It’s kept me alive sometimes, when I’ve been
      working in war zones. Instinct for self-preservation
      is good. But fear can get out of hand. I don’t want
      to let it rule me. It has too often." He took a deep
      breath. "I love you, Jean-Paul Beaubier.” Taking
      Jean-Paul’s hand, he continued. “I’ve been afraid.
      Afraid to try to rebuild a relationship after all we
      did that hurt each other. Afraid you couldn’t forgive
      me for Jake. Not just that. Afraid you couldn’t
      accept that I can’t cut off all contact with him. And
      I can’t. I’m not going to do that again. If you and
      I... well, if we got back together, I wouldn’t promise
      again not to talk to him. It’s over between him and
      me, I can promise you that. I won’t have sex with
      him; I won’t be alone with him. I could promise to
      tell you any time I spoke to him, if that would help.
      I can promise I’ll tell you everything we said, but
      not to have nothing to do with him again.” He sighed.
      “I’m getting ahead of myself.”

      “I understand about Jake. It was wrong of me to tell
      you not to speak to him in the first place. I wouldn’t
      do that again. If we got back together. You want to?”

      Adam nodded. “I decided something. I was just trying
      to figure out how to tell you, and how to ask you. I
      left a message for you, to call me when you got back
      to Xavier’s. Partly that was because I found something
      out, something we need to talk about. But mostly it
      was because I decided something.”

      Adam paused, took a deep breath and continued. “I
      decided that I can be the man I want to be. He – the
      man I want to be – he’s not a coward. He’s willing to
      take a chance for something important. He’s willing to
      talk to you after you’ve been with another man all
      weekend – because that’s what I thought was happening
      – and ask you to take him back. He’s willing to try
      again to rebuild what we had. He’s scared shitless,
      mind you, that you’ll tell him you like the other guy
      better. Or that you’ll be willing to try but it will
      all go wrong and he’ll be hurt all over again. Still,
      he’s brave enough to try even though he’s really,
      really scared. That’s who I want to be.”

      “Adam.” Jean-Paul shook his head. “You are brave. He’s
      who you always have been.”

      “No, I’m not brave. But I’m trying to be. I love you.
      I will be faithful to you and I will work so hard with
      you to build the relationship we both want and need. I
      will come up with a job in New York, so we can live
      there together, now that you’re an X-Man. And I’ll
      follow you if you need to go somewhere else. Like if
      you murder somebody and have to flee the country. I
      want us to be lovers again, and partners. I miss you
      so much. I miss *us*. I want to be with you for the
      rest of my life. If you’ll still have me.”

      “Oui. Un seul homme. C’est toi, Adam.”

      “It’s hard to believe you’d take me back after all
      that happened.”

      “I am as constant as the northern star.”

      Adam smiled. “Can I suck your cock now?”

      “S’il te plait.”

      They kissed again as Adam unzipped him. And then Adam
      was on the floor, holding Jean-Paul’s hard cock,
      licking up and down. “Did you come in his mouth?” he

      “No. I didn’t come when I was with him.”

      “Saving it for me?”

      “I didn’t know I was, but oui.”

      Adam took the head in his mouth, sucking and licking.
      Fingers moving up and down the shaft, tongue stroking.
      Jean-Paul’s hands were in his hair. He was talking to
      him, whispering endearments in French as Adam bobbed
      up and down. The taste and the feel of Jean-Paul’s
      cock in his mouth was so completely what he needed
      right then. Adam sucked harder, moved faster, took him
      deeper as his lover encouraged him with words
      dissolving into incoherent sounds. As Jean-Paul came
      deep inside his throat Adam had one clear thought.

      He stayed on the floor there afterwards, head in
      Jean-Paul’s lap.

      “Did I hurt you? I think I pulled your hair too hard.”

      “No, it was fine. Jean-Paul?”


      “I was thinking something, when you came. Just really
      clear. This one thought in my head. ‘This is what I
      want – only him.’ It was like it all made sense or

      “It makes sense to me, too, mon ami.” He pulled Adam
      up onto his lap. “Do you want to move to the bedroom?”

      “Yeah. Why don’t you take those clothes off?”
      Unbuttoning Jean-Paul’s shirt.

      “Sure.” He pulled off the robe Adam was wearing, too,
      and laughed.

      “Why are you laughing?”

      “The socks. It just looks funny.” Adam was standing
      there, naked except for socks. Jean-Paul held his
      lover’s hard cock for a minute. “I’m more interested
      in this,” he said, “but why are you wearing socks?”

      Adam shook his head. “God, I got so distracted.
      Murder, blackmail, sex. I forgot to tell you.” He
      shook his head again. “We’ll get back to sex. After
      socks.” Jean-Paul laughed again. “Perhaps no more
      murder or blackmail talk, though?”


      “Okay, why socks?” he continued. “Because my feet are
      too distracting without them. I couldn’t sleep.” As
      Jean-Paul looked at him quizzically, Adam pulled off a
      sock. His lover’s expression changed from puzzled to
      surprised as Adam’s foot appeared. It was neon green,
      glowing in the lamplight.


      “Ezra. He was the one who manifested. Jean was right.
      That’s his gift – color changing. Hank wasn’t turning
      blue; Ezra was turning Hank blue. And changing a few
      things different colors.”


      “Exactly. I figured it out, but I wanted to make sure
      I was right. Idiot that I am, I told him to do this,”
      he added, gesturing at his feet. “And then tried all
      day to get him to understand that I want them changed
      back. Toddler communication drives me nuts sometimes.
      I put him to bed, finally, figured I’ll try again

      Mofic Website: www.angelfire.com/comics/mo

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