FIC: Decisions and Revisions (Whats Past is Prologue 7/18)
- View SourceDecisions and Revisions (Whats Past is Prologue 7/18)
I dont interfere in what goes on between you two,
Thats an ominous beginning. Id been glad to have
a chance to speak to Wendy alone, and had been looking
forward to catching up a bit, since we hadnt seen
each other for a few months. Now I was having second
Shed asked about Jean-Paul and me at the outset, but
Id answered briefly and changed the subject. Leaving
Arthur with both April and Ezra, wed gone for a walk
on the grounds and chatted about all sorts of things.
Id heard the news from the Outpost, and that the
whole Outpost contingent would be in New York for
Charless memorial service. It wasnt until we were
sitting on a bench in the enclosed garden that she
turned the topic back to my separation from Jean-Paul.
Its true, isnt it? Youve both talked to me when
youve had issues, havent you?
Youve always been totally supportive, and without
taking sides. Ive really appreciated that. I know
youre more Jean-Pauls friend. You knew him first.
I love you both, she answered, all sincerity. We
all do. And I dont want to meddle... but I cant
just watch this, Adam! I cant just see you two
disintegrate like this and say nothing. He still
loves you. And I dont believe you dont love him.
I didnt know what to say to that. I do love him. I
think I probably always will, at least a little.
Weve been through so much together. And we have
Ezra. Its not like I can just say goodbye and thats
the end. We have to work out some way to co-exist, to
So is it decided then? Are you breaking up for
I didnt answer for a long time. I dont know. I
feel like were headed that way. Wendy, theres a lot
of stuff that happened that you dont know about.
Im sure there is. Nobody outside a couple can know
everything that goes on between them. You dont know
whats happened with Arthur and me, either. She bit
her lip, clearly trying to decide whether to continue.
This much I do know: Jean-Paul wants to stay with
you. Hes willing to work on whatever it is thats
going on between you. There arent that many guys who
stick around when the going gets rough. Youve got
I know. Maybe Ive got one but Im not one. I
sighed. I dont like what that says about me. Im
not saying its a good thing, but I dont know that I
have it in me to try anymore. I truly dont know what
to do. But trying to get back to where we were seems
Well, I dont think you ever get back to where you
were, but you still can move ahead. Together.
Im not sure I can.
Do you want to give ammunition to all the homophobes
that say gay couples cant last? Or the anti-mutant
ones who say a mixed marriage cant work that
mutants should stay separate from normals?
That is so unfair, Wendy. Im not responsible for
other peoples prejudices. Im living my life. I
cant make my decisions based on what some bigot is
going to think. If youre so keen on being an
example, be one yourself. Divorce Arthur and marry a
non-mutant, why dont you? Strike a blow for mixed
marriage acceptance. Marry a woman and make it two
for the price of one.
Im sorry. Youre right it was a stupid thing to
say. Im just grasping at straws here. I dont want
you to leave him. For all of your sakes. I didnt
know what to say, so I didnt say anything. But Ill
accept it, and still love you both and Ezra even
if you do. Okay? I nodded, relieved. We hugged for
a minute. Are you in love with this new guy? she
Is that what Jean-Paul told you? That Im leaving
him for someone new?
Adam. No. She sounded like she might cry. He
hasnt told me anything. And its not like I havent
tried. He says he doesnt think its good for you
two, if you do get back together, if we all know all
the details. She didnt say anything for a minute,
then added, He did say that he thinks the breakup was
his fault, not yours.
Its never one persons fault.
I know. She bit her lip again. But its not a
secret youre seeing somebody, is it? Youre flying
off to be with him all the time. I started to get
mad again and she quickly added, Nobodys gossiping
about you. Were just... trying to adjust.
I sighed. Me, too. And no, Im not in love with
him. I like him. I like him a lot. Weve got a lot
in common, too. But he lives far away and its very
soon after breaking up with Jean-Paul... Maybe too
soon. I stood up. I dont know what Im going to
It wasnt until much later that I got a chance to talk
to Jean-Paul at length. Id seen him briefly after my
meeting with Scott yesterday, but we hadnt had any
time alone. And the time we did have was taken up
with talking with Anjuli about this new development
with Hank. Even alone with Jean-Paul tonight, that
was the first thing we talked about.
What did Jean say? I asked him. We were in his
room, sitting side by side on the couch, Ezra asleep
in the crib in the alcove.
She doesnt know yet. It seems likely hes coming
into his powers. There arent a lot of other
explanations for the color change, hein? But shell
do some tests to be sure hes a mutant.
What kinds of tests?
I dont know exactly. I dont really understand it,
but she does some sort of analysis on cells and looks
for the X-gene. All she needs is some cells
fingernail clippings, a lock of hair. Its based on
research she and Hank had been doing together, but
shes gotten back to it lately and the results are
more accurate than what theyd done together. She
thinks shell be able to reliably say whether he is a
mutant, although not necessarily whether hes
beginning to manifest now.
Wow! I had no idea. I looked over at Ezra, a
little restless in his sleep. Do you think the air
conditioning is up too high for him?
Peut-être. Its hard to regulate in this room. Ill
just cover him with a blanket.
Ill get it. Im closer. I covered him up, then
asked, Where did he get the stuffed frog?
I dont know. I thought you packed it with him last
time. It was in with his stuff. I figured you had it
I had a green one, not this orange one. I think it
might be one of Hanks. They probably got switched at
some point. I looked at Ezra across the room. So
Jean could tell us if hes a mutant. Now?
Thats my understanding. Should we ask her? Do you
want to know?
I dont know. I never thought about it before. I
stopped to think about it now. Yes, I think so. I
mean, if you do. Do you?
Its probably good to know. He thought some more.
Shes not going to publish this research, though.
Can you imagine if it gets out? Folks like Marley
would have a field day with that. Identifying mutant
kids before they manifest. I can just hear
impassioned speeches in the Senate about locking them
up for their own good, before they develop dangerous
I dont think hes got the votes for it. Not now.
I hope youre right.
Id be more worried about parents having their kids
tested and trying to get rid of them if they are
mutants. Like Oliver. Neither of us said anything
as we both thought about that one.
It looks like Im going to be the only Musketeer left
in DC, I said, after a while. His hurt expression
made me realize that it was a mistake to have
referenced when Anjuli, Jean-Paul and I called
ourselves the Three Musketeers. Happier times.
Still, he didnt say anything about that. Do you
think shell move here?
I nodded. I think it probably would have happened
even without this new development. My mother has been
pushing her to.
He laughed. Miriam? Why?
Shes drunk with power. Being a Xavier Foundation
trustee gives her a chance to meddle in all sorts of
peoples lives she never had access to before.
He laughed again. She does seem to be getting into
the whole trustee thing. And its a good thing,
really, he added, in response to my sour expression.
Scott cant give the Foundation the attention it
needs now. Hes got too much on his plate. Its good
shes such a take charge type.
Easy for you to say. You havent had her taking
charge of you for 30 years. He smiled at that.
Anyway, Mom wants Anjuli to work here, using the
Xavier labs. Its probably better considering the
nature of her research less government oversight.
Plus, you know my mother inveterate matchmaker. She
thinks that Anjuli should be in New York and closer to
Bill Levitan move the relationship along. But I
think its whats going on with Hank that clinches it
for Anjuli. She wants him growing up among mutants.
I thought about that. I can understand that. And
its a great place to live. Good for Ezra, too. Im
glad youll be here. We just have to work out the
You could move here, too, you know.
I have a job in DC.
There are newspapers in New York, I hear.
I changed the subject. Im working on the program
for the memorial service.
Hows that going?
Fine. Oh, but theres something thats bothering me
about the service. Did Scott tell you this idea about
all the X-Men attending in uniform?
Oui. Whats wrong with that? Were all going to
stand up at some point.
I think it will make a good statement. Most of what
we do is secret, and will remain so. But theres a
moment to be public, and I think its a good idea.
Its going to be anyone whos ever been on missions
with the X-Men, not just the current team. So it will
be a lot of people. It will be impressive, and with a
lot of important people at the service to impress.
Strength in numbers.
I get that. But... he wants me to wear a uniform,
too. I dont know how to say no to him, but I cant
Id feel like such a poseur.
Pourquoi, Adam? Charles always considered you a
member of the team. Im sure Scott does, too.
Thats what he says. He even gave me a mission.
But, Jean-Paul... I cant do it, not even for Scott.
I feel terrible for him and what hes going through
now. I want to make things easier for him, not make
So why not?
Im not even a mutant.
All of Alpha Flight is doing it wearing X-Men
uniforms instead of their own. In recognition of
joint missions and in solidarity. Even Mac and
Heather, and theyre not mutants. Anjuli will be in
uniform, too. Even some of the kids here, the ones
whove been on missions. It wont kill you to wear
black leather for a couple of hours, Adam.
Id feel like a complete phony.
I dont think you should feel like a phony. Its not
about whether youre a mutant or not. He didnt say
anything for a long time. Its all a matter of
deciding where your loyalties lie.
Ive got a feeling were not talking about the
memorial service anymore.
He was looking at me sort of soulfully. Adam, he
said after a while, Ive been trying to be patient,
trying to wait for you to decide. I dont know
whether youre telling me by your actions, he added,
looking down. I guess if you still loved me, you
wouldnt be spending all your free time with Jake
Patterson. I didnt know what to say, so I didnt
say anything. It is harder for me to see you with
him than it would be with just about anyone else, you
I know. Im sorry.
How serious is this?
I dont know.
Has he met Ezra yet?
No, but he wants to. What do you think?
Does it matter what I think?
Yes, it matters. It matters a lot. I needed to say
more, although I wondered if Id regret it later. I
do still love you, I really do. I just dont think we
can make it work anymore.
We can, bien sur we can. If we both want to. If we
I dont know. Its gone too far. And certainly
thats as much or more my fault. Im not saying it
isnt. But like you said its harder with Jake
than it would be with anyone else. Even if I stopped
seeing him now and Im not saying I will but, even
if I did, do you really think you could get over
Oui. Im sure of it.
Jean-Paul, you couldnt get over me having a
one-night stand with him. How could you forgive me
for a relationship?
Because I know better now. Because we both do.
Because I see what not completely forgiving you did to
us. Ive learned something from all this, something
important. Adam, we both made mistakes. We can
recover from them, together. I didnt say anything.
Im sorry, he added. I didnt mean to pressure
I know. Youve been wonderful about that. I dont
deserve it. You shouldnt have to wait for me to make
a decision all this time.
Im not waiting. Not if waiting means not doing it
with anybody else.
Oh. I didnt know. Not that its any of my
Im not getting into any relationships, he added.
I just didnt want you to think... Well, I just
didnt want to misrepresent myself.
Okay. None of my business, anyway. Not unless it
affects Ezra. I paused again. So what do you
think? Is it okay for Jake to meet him?
I want you to be very clear with him. I want him to
realize you and I are the parents, and thats how it
stays. Hes your lover; hes not Ezras father. And
hes not going to be.
He knows that. He understands, really.
Bien. Then I guess he should meet him. Something
was on his mind, though. But Adam. One thing.
Please dont tell him that I dont have any legal
claim to Ezra. He doesnt have to know that, does
Mofic Website: www.angelfire.com/comics/mo
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