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FIC: Outgrow the Garden (Returning Spring 3/10) part b

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  • Mo
    Author s note: Outgrow the Garden is a long story, over 4000 words. It s intended to be read as one story, but I m posting it in two parts as some email
    Message 1 of 1 , Feb 18, 2005
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      Author's note: Outgrow the Garden is a long story,
      over 4000 words. It's intended to be read as one
      story, but I'm posting it in two parts as some email
      clients can't handle messages that long. - Mo

      Outgrow the Garden, part b - continued directly from
      part a

      It was late and I was trying to finish grading papers
      before I went to bed, but I wasn�t getting anywhere
      with them. I was seated at the desk in the study
      alcove of my bedroom, all the papers that had been
      turned in while I was gone in two piles. The graded
      pile was dwarfed by the ungraded one, I noticed with a
      sigh.

      I kept trying, but couldn�t get my mind off of Logan.
      I�d been trying to keep my feelings in check, to
      remind myself that I had no claim on him. This
      relationship � such as it was � was a casual one and
      nothing more. But knowing that wasn�t stopping me
      from thinking about him, from wondering where he was
      and what he was doing.

      Where had he gone after the meeting? I�d intended to
      talk to him, to ask him if he wanted to get together
      later tonight, but �Ro had collared me to talk about
      one of the missions she�d handled in my absence. By
      the time we were done, he was gone. Had he left to
      meet the woman who claimed to be Jean? I�d looked in
      vain for Logan in the Danger Room and the pool, and
      then had come back here to finish grading.

      Not that I was getting very far. I realized I�d read
      the same paragraph for the third time and still didn�t
      know what it said � or even which class it was for.
      Should I give up on grading for the night? No one but
      me expected that I�d be caught up the first day back
      from a mission, I knew. A knock on the door was a
      welcome distraction.

      Logan walked in before I had a chance to answer. �Hi,�
      he said and smiled at me. His hand brushed my
      shoulder as he walked by me and sat down in the
      armchair next to my desk.

      �Hi back. What�s up?�

      �I�m feeling horny. You wanna fuck?�

      I wanted to ask him where he�d been, what she�d said
      to him in the meeting, had he met her afterwards. I
      didn�t say any of that. �Yeah, sure,� I answered,
      deliberately casual. �I�m getting nowhere with
      grading these, anyway. Sex would make a nice change.�
      I wasn�t sure I meant it, but it seemed like the
      thing to say. We sat there for a minute, looking at
      each other. I still had my red pencil in hand,
      student paper in front of me.

      Logan got up and stood behind me. I felt his fingers
      on my shoulders and neck, the heat of his presence so
      close to me. He massaged me with strong, firm
      movements. �You�re tense. Tight.�

      �I thought you like tight.�

      He chuckled a little. �Yeah, I like a nice, tight
      ass. But I think you need to relax a little or we�re
      not gonna get to that point. Come over to the bed,�
      he added. �I�ll help you loosen up.�

      So, I did. I pulled off my shirt and lay down prone
      on top of the bed. �There�s some of that massage oil
      in the nightstand drawer,� I reminded him.

      He got it out and put some on his hands, then got on
      top of me, straddling me on the bed. He began
      rubbing my back and shoulders, the oil on his hands
      warm, his strokes relaxing and exciting me at the same
      time. �What is this stuff anyway?� he asked.

      �I don�t know. Some concoction of �Ro�s. Something
      herbal. It�s supposed to help me relax. She thinks
      I�m too tense. It feels good � warm. Your hands feel
      great, Logan,� I added as he moved lower down on my
      back. He bent down and kissed the back of my neck
      briefly. I could feel him hard, pressed against me,
      as he did.

      As he sat up again, I heard the familiar Snikt sound
      of claws extending. I stayed very still, with some
      effort, as Logan sliced my pants and pulled them off
      of me. Then he was rubbing and kneading my cheeks,
      and I couldn�t stay still. I was moving with him and
      breathing hard. �Do you think this stuff would work
      for lube?� he asked.

      �Sure, why not? Yeah, that feels good,� I added,
      feeling his finger stroking my crack, sliding into the
      opening. I pushed back to meet his hand. �I won�t
      tell �Ro we used it for other than its intended
      purpose.�

      I heard him unzip his pants. I reached behind to feel
      his cock for a minute, big and hard in my hand. �Get
      up on your knees,� he told me, reaching for the
      massage oil again. I complied, resting my head and
      arms on the bed, my ass in the air, legs slightly
      spread. �You look good like that,� he said, with that
      husky voice that tells me he�s really hot. �It makes
      my cock twitch just to see you there, all ready for
      me.�

      He moved to kneel between my legs, and started pushing
      in slowly, kind of humming as he did. He was in all
      the way. I could feel his balls pressed against me
      and his big dick filling me up. An involuntary moan
      escaped. �You okay?� he asked.

      �More than okay,� I answered. �I want you moving in
      me. I want you to fuck me now.� And he did, sliding
      in and out slowly, rhythmically, kneeling behind me
      like that. I pushed back, moving with him, driving
      his cock all the way in me with each stroke.

      We got into a good rhythm together, going a little
      faster now. Logan was breathing hard, sweating hard.
      I could feel his whole body trembling a bit. He
      seemed to be having trouble keeping his balance as he
      fucked me harder and faster. Leaning down now, he
      pressed against my back, anchoring himself. The
      trembling stopped. He still had all his clothes on
      and I could feel his shirt soaked with sweat, pressed
      against my naked back. He was lying on top of me,
      pushed hard against me as he pumped into my hole, his
      adamantium-laced body heavy on me.

      I braced myself with one arm and reached with the
      other to stroke myself, but Logan pulled my hand away.
      �No,� he said, putting my hand back on the bed and
      pausing in his movements, his cock shoved all the way
      inside. He licked the back of my neck and added, �I
      want to do that.� And he did, holding my hard cock in
      that large and sensitive hand, resuming fucking me,
      moving up and down the shaft with each stroke inside
      me.

      I couldn�t get over how good it all felt. He was
      breathing hard in my ear, whispering something in a
      language I didn�t understand. I didn�t know what he
      was saying, but it sounded great. His hand was making
      me move and moan and stretch to push against him,
      trying to get more of what he was giving me any way I
      could. The weight of the metal inside him made it
      hard to move, hard to push back, but it was worth the
      effort it took. His dick inside me felt like the
      perfect tool, like it was designed just to give me
      pleasure. �I�m going to...� I tried to tell him, but
      came before I�d even finished the sentence.

      The hand that had been on my cock moved to my hip now.
      Logan got back up on his knees and held me by both
      hips, moving me to the position he wanted me in. He
      fucked me harder and harder, the bed creaking with his
      exertions, as I continued to move with him.
      Animal-like growls and groans mixed with words of
      pleasure and lust punctuated his movements. And then
      he pushed in hard as his orgasm overtook him, lying
      against my back again, full on me, as his cum pumped
      into me.

      �Thanks,� he said when it was over, pulling out of me
      and lying down on his back. �You okay?� he asked
      again, looking at me as I stretched a little. I
      nodded. �Adamantium�s heavy,� he added.

      �Tell me about it.� I lay down close to him, one arm
      across his chest. �It�s the first thing I noticed
      about you. I couldn�t believe how heavy you were when
      I pulled you away from that burning van. Of course, I
      didn�t realize it was adamantium then. I guess I
      thought it was just muscle.� I unbuttoned a couple of
      buttons on his shirt and slid my hand inside, wanting
      the skin-to-skin contact. I kissed him on the mouth,
      deep and slow. �I like the metal in you. The weight
      of it,� I added. �You feel...substantial. Strong.�

      �You�re strong, too.� His hand cupped my ass, stroking
      lazily as he spoke. �I never did anybody who could
      take the full weight of me like that. Not that I can
      remember, anyway.�

      �That�s why you need me. I can take it.�

      �You can take it all, alright,� he said with a
      chuckle. �I don�t have to hold back with you. And
      you give as good as you get. You�re a great fuck,
      Cyclops.� I felt warmed by the compliment, crude as
      it was.

      �I�m moving down the hall from you,� Logan said after
      a while.

      �That room you had when you first were here? I
      thought that was going to be a dorm room for upper
      classmen.�

      �It is. Nah, the one next to it, by the storage
      room.�

      �That room used to *be* a storage room. It�s tiny and
      windowless. Don�t move there.� Logan shrugged. �Why
      don�t you move in here instead?� Logan narrowed his
      eyes. �What?� I said, feeling like I�d gone too far,
      trying to get back on track. �Don�t look at me like
      that.�

      �Like what?�

      �Like I�m proposing or something. This is practically
      a two-room suite, with the alcove and all. I�ve felt
      guilty occupying it all by myself. There�s room for
      two, that�s all. And you�re here more than half the
      time, anyway.�

      �That�s okay.� I didn�t say anything and Logan added,
      �I mean thanks and all. But I need a room of my own.
      I know I�m here a lot. I like being with you. The
      sex is real good, you�re good to hang out with. But,
      sometimes I�ve got to be by myself. If I don�t want
      to kill anyone in the night, that is. You know, when
      things get bad...� His voice trailed off.

      �Do what you want,� I said, shrugging. After a
      minute, I added, trying for a light tone, �I think
      you�re better off being with somebody when things are
      bad. What happened with Rogue � well, it�s because
      she came in when you were in the middle of the
      nightmare and didn�t know what to expect or what to
      do. I�m not some kid who doesn�t know what the deal
      is with you. I�ve stopped the dreams plenty of times,
      you know. I know how to wake you at the beginning.�

      �You�ve been a big help with the nightmares. I said
      thanks. I still want my own room � even if it used to
      be a broom closet or whatever.�

      Neither of us said anything for a while. �Why are you
      moving, anyway?� I asked him after a few minutes.

      �Now that Jeannie�s staying, she�s not gonna be in the
      professor�s guest room anymore.�

      �So she�s taking your room? Just like that?�

      �I offered. It�s right next to her office and near
      the lab. And she was here before me.�

      �No, she wasn�t.� I shook my head emphatically.
      �She�s not Jean.�

      Logan shrugged. �I wouldn�t be so sure of that.�

      �I�m sure.�

      �Look, you know her better than I do, but still. She
      looks like Jean. She sounds like Jean. She smells
      like Jean. She knows stuff only Jean could know.�

      �And she�s got a pretty convincing story, I know.
      She could fool almost anybody. Maybe she�s fooled
      you, but not me. She doesn�t *feel* like Jean.�
      Logan looked at me questioningly. �In my brain, I
      mean.�

      �I don�t even know what that means.�

      �I know. And I don�t know how to explain it, but it�s
      real.�

      �What happened to her � it could�ve changed her. You,
      too. Time passes, things happen. You�re not quite
      the same person you were last year. Even I can see
      that, and I don�t have the history. Plus, I�ve been
      here with you. You and Jeannie haven�t seen each
      other. You thought she was dead. It�s got to feel
      strange seeing her again.�

      �It�s none of that. Don�t think I haven�t thought of
      all that. And more. I�ve asked myself if maybe I
      don�t *want* her to be Jean, don�t want that
      complexity in my life, don�t want to have to tell her
      it can�t be like it used to for us. I�ve beaten myself
      up about that one.� I waited for Logan to answer, but
      when there was no reply I continued. �If she were
      Jean I�d have to be dealing with all that. It would
      be hard, I�m sure, but I would deal with it. She�s
      not Jean.� I paused again. �Charles agrees with me,
      and he doesn�t have my motivations for
      self-deception.�

      �He wants anything that makes you happy.�

      �Not at Jean�s expense. If that were really Jean � if
      there were a chance she�s really Jean � he�d be
      overjoyed to have her back. You have no idea how
      close they were.�

      �Yeah, you�re right. I have no idea about any of it.
      I�m the outsider looking in. I didn�t grow up in this
      insane asylum like you did, and I don�t understand
      half of what goes on here.� His voice was getting
      louder and sounding angrier as he spoke. �I�m not
      pretending I do. But what I do see is everyone else
      convinced it�s Jeannie. A Jean who�s been through
      hell and shows the scars of that, who isn�t the woman
      you remember, okay, but who would be? Makes sense to
      me she�d have changed � changed how she thinks, how
      she reacts, how she feels in your fucking brain,
      whatever that means. It�s just you and the professor
      who doubt her, and I�m thinking you�re wrong.�

      Neither of us said anything for a few minutes. �She
      wanted me to have sex with her.� I said it
      tentatively, not looking at Logan, wondering how he�d
      react.

      �I figured.� After a minute, he added �Me, too.�

      �I said no,� I told him, turning to face him.

      Logan looked right back at me. �I said yes.�

      �I figured.�

      �It was just the once,� Logan added.

      �You don�t have to explain yourself to me.�

      �I wasn�t planning on it.�

      A long pause. �Are you leaving soon?�

      �Yeah. Probably tomorrow. Maybe the next day.� I
      didn�t reply. �Can I take your bike?� he added. I
      nodded. �Thanks,� Logan said.

      �Not much point in saying no. You�d take it anyway.�
      I turned towards the wall, back to him.

      Logan didn�t say anything more. He didn�t touch me
      either. He zipped up, got up, and left. He closed the
      door hard, but not hard enough to really have slammed
      it.












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