Universe and Timeline: This story can easily translate to any X-men
universe, however for safe keeping we'll say movie verse. (Set after
Summary: You know the story where someone wants to get gift for
somebody, but the only way to get it, is to make a deal with someone
who wants something else in exchange; and so on, and so on, and so
Well here it is again-- mutant style!
Rating: PG pretty mild really.
Disclaimer: All characters in this story are property of Marvel
comics. In other words, I don't own `em and they won't be making me
any money. There, happy now!
Feedback: If you do, I bet Santa will put you on his nice list
Gift of the Night Crawler
"Alright everyone, we'll meet back here at five," Ororo announced to
the lively crowd of teenage mutants as they went inside the busy
shopping mall. Instantly the group broke up into several smaller and
now bouncier groups, then disappeared into the bustling crowd.
"Bet ya a hot cocoa at the food court that half of `em show up
late," Logan grumbled as he walked alongside of Storm while Kurt
walked on her other side.
"But dat iz vhy you came along Logan, ja? Zo you could track zem
down if necessary," the blue teleporter softly mentioned, with his
hat and coat pulled closely to his face to avoid being seen.
"True; and believe you me, Elf, anyone I hafta go fetch ain't gonna
be too happy when I get a hold of `em," Logan declared as all three
ducked and dodged the hordes of Christmas shoppers.
"Well, I do want both of you to know that I appreciate you coming
along to help out with the Christmas shopping this year," Ororo
thanked the men once again. Logan merely grumbled something
unintelligible, while once again Kurt raised his head above his
collar and smiled. "It is a pleasure, fraulein. Christmas is mine
favorite time of year!"
Ororo's smile only broadened. "I'm so glad to hear that, Kurt! Now,
here's your list," and she handed him a list that was three pages
long. "And here's yours." She then held out Logan's list to him,
only to have the feral stare at it with a shocked look on his face.
Reluctantly he took it from her hand and started to read the items
on the list. "I gave you the smallest list, Logan," Ororo meekly
"Hmmm, I see," he calmly noted as he flipped the single page over to
see if there was any thing more on the other side. "Well, thanks for
the favor," he added sarcastically before taking off on his own to
begin getting the things Storm listed.
"Vould you like to do your shopping viz me?" Kurt kindly offered his
arm to his favorite weather witch and together they set out to
tackle the chore of Holiday shopping.
For the rest of the afternoon Ororo and Kurt trekked around the
mall, going from one department store to the next until they had
found most everything on their lists. Afterwards, they decided to
rest up at the food court before returning to the designated meeting
place. As Kurt sat at the tiny table with his hot cocoa, he noticed
a Christmas tree standing off to the side of the food court. On it
were a few modest decorations and a single strip of paper hanging
from a branch. `What an odd decoration,' he said to himself, and
strained his eyes to take a closer look. He could make out the
bolder print on the paper, reading "SECRET SANTA", and underneath
those words was something hand written. Curious at what he had
found, the teleporter walked over to the tree and took the paper in
hand. On it he read"girl, age 8, size S, toy HOLIDAY PRINCESS
"Ororo?" Kurt raised his head and spoke up loud enough for her to
hear. "Vat iz zis?"
Ororo looked up from her warm cup of herbal tea. "Every year,
charitable organizations collect the names of needy children and ask
them what they want for Christmas. They write the information down
on "SECRET SANTA" cards, and hope that someone will be kind enough
to pick up a card and buy what that child is asking for," she easily
explained. "It looks like all but that one is gone."
Kurt nodded as he stared thoughtfully at the paper. "Can anyone do
"Of course," Ororo smiled. "I'm sure we'll have enough room in the
van for one more package." Kurt smiled back and carried the paper
over to their table for Storm to take a look at the list herself.
But as soon as she read what the girl was hoping for, her smile
"Well, that would explain why this card wasn't picked up sooner,"
she remorsefully said with a sympathetic look on her face. "I'm
sorry Kurt, but I heard on the news that the HOLIDAY PRINCESS BARBIE
is this year's hottest toy and that every store has been sold out
since Thanksgiving. It will be impossible to find one this late."
A very disappointed Kurt quietly took the paper back to put it back
on the tree, but just as he was about to leave it there he turned
back and defiantly snatched it off the tree once more. "I believe He
had me see zis for a reason, Ororo, and vith His help, nothing is
impossible." Ororo gently shrugged her shoulders and took another
sip of her tea. She smiled to herself and looked away, surrendering
the argument entirely, but only because she know how stubborn the
blue mutant could be. Kurt walked back to Ororo's side and took her
by the hand. "Come, fraulein, let us go to zat toy store downstairs
and look zere first."
Kurt and Ororo collected their things and carried their bags and
boxes down the escalator and headed toward the ritziest toy store
chain in the country, SOB Shultz.
They were almost to the door, when among the many shoppers walking
their way, they spied what appeared to be a mound of boxes and bags
walking around all on their own. All anyone could see of the person
laboring with this mass of merchandise were his blue jeans, cowboy
boots and the very top of his jet black head. "Short list, huh?" a
voice grumbled from behind the boxes.
"Logan?" Ororo humorously gasped as she and Kurt stopped to stare at
the very peculiar sight. "Is that you?"
"Well, it ain't ol' jolly St. Nick!" he snapped at them in his less
than perky self. Ororo shook her head in confusion. "Now wait a
minute Logan, I know there wasn't that much on the list I gave you."
"Yeah, well I picked out a few extra goodies along the way. It's so
hard to turn down a good bargain when you've got full access to
someone like Charles' credit card," Logan joked as he tried to peer
over the multitude of packages in his hands.
"Here, meine freunde, let me give you a hand," Kurt offered as he
reached out his tail and grabbed the handles of several bags in
Logan's bundle. Suddenly from behind, there came a loud crashing
noise as a woman close by saw the blue man's tail freely dangling
five large shopping bags above his head and dropped her own bags in
shock. Logan turned to give the woman a rude and offensive
glare. "Humph! You'd think they never seen a mutant before," he
snorted loudly enough for the haughty woman to hear.
"We have one more errand to run before we're done, Logan," Ororo
informed him. "Would you like to join us?"
Logan nodded his head and went into the toy store after them. "Beats
standing out here and watching these idiots look stupid," he
mentioned as he watched the angry but also embarrassed woman
stooping over to pick up her bag of broken gifts.
SOB Shultz was nothing short of a total madhouse, as both shoppers
and clerks alike rushed up and down the aisles like raving lunatics,
while children ran everywhere out of control; screaming, crying and
generally behaving like crazed animals on a feeding frenzy. Logan
chuckled to himself upon hearing Karen Carpenter singing, "Oh,
there's no place like Home for the Holidays," in the background;
that is, when there wasn't a clerk asking for a price check over the
store's intercom. Logan then looked down one of the shopping aisles
and noticed a woman who looked much older than her scent indicated,
with four young children surrounding her. One child was jumping up
and down on her feet to get her attention, another was trying to run
away, and still another was in the middle of the aisle throwing a
temper-tantrum! The fourth child, an infant, though surprisingly
quiet, was busy making an especially foul diaper for his mother to
change later on. `Suddenly my life doesn't look that bad,' Logan
thought to himself. "So
what exactly did we come in here for?"
But before he could get an answer, Ororo spotted a clerk and flagged
him down. "Excuse me," she spoke up to be heard over the noise. At
first, the young man seemed not to acknowledge her, but when he saw
how beautiful she was he couldn't come to her aid quickly
enough. "What can I do for you?" the young man asked ever so
"Yes, I would like you to help my friend here." Ororo smiled and
turned her attention to Kurt.
"Do you have any of these left in the store?" Kurt asked as he
handed the man the SECRET SANTA card.
The clerk shook his head. "No I don't think we have any
second," the young man's face suddenly brightened. "Dude, this is so
your lucky day! Come with me!" the three mutants followed the clerk
through the narrow aisles and maze of shopping carts and crying kids
until they came to the back of the store. "If anybody saw you
walking out of here with this in your hands we would have a riot!"
The clerk explained as he led them through the storage area. "It
just so happens that I saw there were not one but TWO of these dolls
back here in the manager's office," he explained as he opened the
door to the manager's office. "Wait here."
"See Ororo? With Gott nothing is impossible," Kurt beamed with glee
as they patiently waited for the clerk to re-emerge with the prized
Holiday Princess Barbie doll in hand.
But just then, however, a man shouted from behind, "You there, what
the hell do you think you're doing back here?"
The three mutants turned around to see a tall, medium-build man with
short salt and pepper hair and wearing the all too familiar
manager's white shirt and tie.
"Ve have come back here to pick up a Holiday Princess Barbie doll
for a very special little girl," Kurt innocently explained to the
man as he came closer.
"A what!?!" the man gasped. Just then the clerk came out of the
office carrying the doll in his hand. "NO! You can't have it! That's
NOT for sale!" the store's manager roared and tried to yank the box
out of the clerk's hand.
"Dude!" The young man retaliated as he and the manager began to pull
and tug on the boxed doll. "Like, don't have a cardiac; there's
still one more in your office!"
"I know that, you moron, now give it to me before you damage the
box!" The man fought to keep his grip on the box.
"Do you talk like that to all your employees?" Logan wondered.
"No, just his nephew," the clerk informed them, refusing to let go
of the box.
"Yes, my overpaid, inexperienced, bleeding-heart nephew!" The older
man had finally stopped playing tug of war, but still refused to let
go of the box either. "I mean it; this doll is NOT for sale!"
"Well, why not?" Ororo crossly asked the man.
"It's my decision," the man childishly explained. "That's why!"
"And you need two of the same doll?" Logan reminded him in a
"That's right, one doll is to play with and the other stays in its
box," he arrogantly explained. "We're collectors."
"But dere is a little girl who only vants one zing for Christmas-
dis doll," Kurt tried to explain. "Can you not find it in your heart
to give up only one of yours?"
no," the man sneered mean-spiritedly.
"Oh come on Unk," the clerk argued on Kurt's behalf. "Miranda
doesn't even LIKE Barbie dolls. Just give it to these nice people!"
"Ya know, bub," Logan added. "Maybe if grownups like you didn't
horde these damn things, there might be enough for every little girl
out there. Now what do you suppose the CEO of this little toy shop
would think if he heard about you using his store to supply your
private doll collection?"
Logan's threat turned the man's face pale for a moment; and Kurt
pleaded once more. "Please Mein Herr, ve do not vant to make any
trouble for you, and I vill gladly pay you any amount you ask for."
The manager shook his head. "Money's not the issue here and Mat's
right about one thing, Miranda doesn't like Barbie dolls, BUT she
likes getting what no one else can have!"
Ororo and Logan both felt the time had come to give up and Kurt was
about to give as well when suddenly he had an inspiration. "Sir, who
vould it take to make you change your mind?"
"What?" the question puzzled the man for a moment.
"If I could get anyone in ze world to come to dis store and ask you
for zis doll, who would you give it to?" Kurt fearlessly asked as if
he had some master plan in the making. "So what you're trying to
lead me to believe is that you're actually able to get ANY celebrity
in the world to come here in person?" The manager repeated
Kurt nodded. "Yes, it iz possible."
The man laughed out loud. "Oh that's a good one. Ha-ha! Tell you
" he said half way seriously. "You get Rebecca Romijn-Stamos to
come here in person, by the end of this week and I'll let you have
this doll at cost."
Kurt beamed a broad and satisfied smile. "Danke schoen, miene Herr;
Me und meine freundes will return!"
"Well that was a rewarding experience," Logan mentioned as they all
worked out of the store. "Personally, my shopping day isn't complete
until I've ran into at least one management level ass-hole."
"We need to hurry, it's almost five now." Ororo looked at her watch
as they all walked on toward the rendezvous spot. "We really need to
get the kids back to the mansion in time for dinner, otherwise we
could look in a few more toy shops that are along the way home." She
then softly sighed. "I really wish there was more I could do to help
you Kurt." Then suddenly Ororo had a good idea. "I know, we'll call
as many toy stores as we can find in the phone book; maybe we'll get
lucky and find the doll that way."
Logan shook his head as they pushed through the crowd of shoppers
like three trout trying to swim up stream. "You can try it if you
like Storm, but I have a feeling you're not going to get anywhere. I
mean if that piece of work back there wouldn't give us the doll when
we were standing right in front of him, I doubt anyone would promise
to let you have it over the phone."
Even Kurt had his doubts. "I'm afraid zat Logan is probably right
fraulein. No, I believe zat ze only vay to get dis doll is to have
dis one called Rebecca Romijn-Stamos come here and ask for ze doll
on our behalf."
"Well do know this Rebecca?" Ororo asked already sure what Kurt's
answer would be.
"I do not even know vho she is, or vhy she is famous," he openly
"Well that makes two of us," Ororo surrendered in frustration.
"Oh, she's a super-model turned actress." Logan explained, only to
have Kurt and Ororo stop in their tracks and give him a surprised
look. Suddenly even Logan realized how odd that sounded coming from
the bar brawling, guts and gore kinda mutant he was. After all,
modern pop culture was not typically his forte`. "Some of the kids
were watching "E" last night and her name was mentioned; I just
happened to over hear," he openly explained.
They all went back to walking. Ororo then had another idea. "Charles
does know a few people in `high places' to coin a phrase, perhaps he
knows someone, who knows someone, who can work something out for
Kurt put down his bags. They had finally reached their destination.
He turned to Ororo and gave her a cheerful smile. "Zat vill not be
necessary mein freunde, I have un idea."
The next morning, Kurt made a trip alone to Washington DC.
Normally, "Senator Kelly" did not allow visitors, but as soon
as "he" heard it was one of the x-men, "he" was only to happy to
invite him in. Knowing that the room was completely free of
surveillance equipment, "Kelly" turned back into Mystique. "Its not
every day that one of Charles' disciples comes to my door, so to
what do I owe the pleasure?"
"Guten tag;" Kurt humbly smiled at the only other blue skinned
mutant he ever met and began to tell her of all the events that had
led him to her. Mystique watched Kurt explain his conundrum with the
air of conceitedness that she always possessed. "Zo Mystique, I have
come here to ask you for a very big favor; something zhat only you
can do." Mystique stared at him blankly; there could be only one
favor Kurt would want from her.
"So who is it you want me to be?" she asked as dryly as a waitress
would take down an order. "Do you know of Rebecca Romijn-Stamos?"
Mystique thought for a moment. "Oh, her; your friend at SOB has very
simple taste doesn't he?" She said as she transformed herself into
this super model turned actress. Kurt smiled gleefully and began
thanking Mystique as if she had already agreed to help him. "Danke
schoen, Danke schoen! May Gott Bless you a zousand times for zis,
fraulein! Danke schoen!"
Mystique grinned but then returned to her natural form. She then
opened her mouth and paused for a brief moment before
speaking. "Alright Kurt," she went to explain her fee for this
service as it were. "I'll go as Rebecca Roijm-Stamos with you to
this toy store, IF you do something for me in return.
Kurt's enthusiasm may have slowed down a bit but he still smiled for
joy. "Vhat is it you vant, Mystique?" he cheerfully asked. "Name
She paused for a moment looking away, then grinned slyly as her deep
yellow eyes fixed back on his. "Get Logan to meet me under the
mistletoe, that shouldn't be too difficult."
Kurt sheepishly grinned. "I cannot zay for certain if Logan vill do
dis or not, but I promise you I vill try my best to get him zere."
When Kurt returned to X-mansion, the first person he went looking
for was Logan. He found him in the garage waxing his new motor
cycle. "Logan, mein freunde!" he offered Logan his most cheerful
smile. Logan turned to see Kurt's all too happy face and immediately
knew something was up. "Alright bub, what gives?"
"Ah ves," Kurt began to stumble over his words. "I have found a vay
to get zat doll I vent looking for yesterday."
Logan went back to polishing his bike's chrome wheels. "Ugh-huh, go
"Well. I have asked the mutant called Mystique to help me and she
has agreed, but only if you vill
" Logan turned around and gave
Kurt an unfriendly look. "If you vill meet her under ze mistletoe."
"No." Logan flatly answered and returned to polishing. "But it's
" Kurt pleaded.
"I said `no'!" Logan reaffirmed himself but Kurt refused to give up
so easily. "Logan, please here me out! Dis is ze only vay I am going
to get dis doll from zat man."
"Not for a million dollars!" Logan insisted without taking his
attention off of his bike. "Nothing would be worth it." Logan's last
remark gave Kurt and idea.
"Ah, perhaps zere is nothing you vant zat badly mein freunde, but
could zere be something for someone else?"
Logan stopped and turned around to face Kurt. "What do you mean?"
"Vell, vould you do zis in exchange for something you vish for
someone else to have?"
Interested in what Kurt was suggesting Logan asked, "Like what?"
"Vell, perhaps I could buy a gift for someone you know, in exchange
for zis favor."
Logan thought for a moment, Kurt's idea did mean something to him
after all. "Tell you what Elf, I've been going crazy trying to find
something for Jean with a phoenix on it and I've had no luck. If you
can find something, and it needs to be really nice, then I'll give
Mystique the biggest, wettest, sloppiest kiss that blue bit
witch has ever had!"
Kurt nodded his head. "A phoenix it is."
Kurt thought very hard and prayed all night on where to go or who to
ask for help in finding a very special phoenix for Logan to give to
Jean; then after some sleep, it came to him. `Colossus!' he said to
himself and as soon as he was dressed Kurt went to find the very
talented artist. He found him alone in the reading room with sketch
pad and pencil in hand. "Guten morgen Piotr, you are having a good
The young man looked up form his sketching pad. "Oh, hello Kurt," he
replied, "no, my day has already started out wrong but thank you for
asking; and how are you today?"
Kurt smiled and sat down next to the Russian. "I'm vell mein
freunde. I'm sorry to hear you are not having a good day, and maybe
zis is not ze right time to ask for your help, but can you draw for
me a picture of a phoenix?"
"Is this going to be for Jean?" Piotr asked as he returned to his
drawing. "Nein, Logan." Piotr suddenly looked up from his art work
again with a very puzzled look on his face.
"But I think that is who will end up with it." Kurt corrected.
Piotr looked out of the window and sighed. "I wish I could, but I
have already promised so many people their drawings in time for
Christmas that I don't have the time to take on even one more task."
Kurt sighed; he thought this would be the answer to his dilemma. He
sat there quietly for a moment wondering what to do next. Suddenly
he realized that he had not taken the time to find out why Piotr's
day had gone wrong as he had said, and felt badly for not thinking
of Piotr's needs first. "I am sorry that your day has not gone vell
for you, can I do something to help?"
Piotr shook his head. "Not unless you can talk some sense into
Bobby," he complained. "You see, Scott gave us an assignment to work
together as a team on this year's outdoor Christmas decorations, but
Bobby refuses to create the ice sculptures according to my designs!
I want to have a very beautiful and dramatic nativity scene on our
front lawn, I spent a great deal of time, planning and designing
this scene, but Bobby is insisting we have the three Chipmunks
standing 12 feet tall and dressed as Christmas carolers instead!"
Kurt gave his problem some thought and after a moment or so, came up
with a possible solution. "It sounds like both of you have good
ideas, perhaps zere can be a compromise ja?"
"Well what do you mean exactly?" Piotr became interested in Kurt's
"Maybe you can have the nativity scene on ze front lawn, und the
Chipmunks could be standing outside ze main gate?" the young Russian
nodded his head. "That would save me from having to come up with a
whole new design."
"Zay, if I can talk Bobby into doing your ice sculpture, will you
agree to do zis drawing of a phoenix?" Piotr nodded. "Agreed."