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[xmmff] Fic: It's my life: Lots od thinking (PG)

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  • Nicca
    *I m new here* *This is the edited version, I wish I could do the italic signs but I can t it won t work on email, still I hope ya ll like this first part?*
    Message 1 of 1 , Feb 3, 2004
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      *I'm new here*
      *This is the edited version, I wish I could do the
      italic signs but I can't it won't work on email, still
      I hope ya'll like this first part?*

      Title: Life: Lots of thinking.
      Author: Nicca
      Email: loganmarie_100@...
      Rating: PG 13 for cursing
      Continuity: X1/ X2/Au
      Disclaimer: Don�t own the characters, notta, nothing,
      zilch!
      Feedback: Pretty Please???
      Summary: Marie just thinking about everything since
      she�s arrived at Xavier�s while listening to Avril
      Lavigne�s Losing grip.
      Notes:This >means the lyrics<. Don�t know how many
      chapters I�d go. There will be a lot of twists, to
      this series.
      Comments: I was kinda inspired by the Losing Grip
      song. I am sooooo new at this! The fic thing.

      ~*~

      Ok, so, it�s been here a month plus now since I
      arrived here at Xavier�s with Logan. It has been about
      a week or so, since Jean�s disappearance. She ain�t
      dead, just disappeared. How do I know that this is a
      fact? The professor of course, knowing that he�s
      psychic and all. See one day I just had enough of
      everyone�s somber attitudes, and when I told Scott
      what the professor and I have been talking about he
      got all mad, I just said when I kinda exploded, with
      anger. �Look, Scott, would you just stop being all
      fuckin� sad, Jean is not dead!.� Then we had an
      argument about that and I stormed off. Never talked to
      him since.

      Now, about my mutation, well, the professor and I have
      been working on it ever since we got back from the
      White House, and well, I had made huge progress, I am
      now able to touch, but if someone, touches me with out
      me knowing, more like an accident brush or something,
      then the switch turns on. So that�s the good and the
      bad. But I still don�t touch people, why would I, not
      to be mean, but I don�t right now have a reason to
      touch people.
      Don�t get me wrong it�s nice to touch people without
      any type of barriers, but right now I�m putting the
      touching thing on hold right now.

      Now let�s get to me and Bobby. He you could say, put a
      temporary hold on his career as an X-Men, he�s in
      college, but still lives here and right now he went to
      Boston to somewhat mend fences with his parents and
      brother. He and I settled on being just friends, I
      told him about how he�s in my head and how it doesn�t
      take a genius to know by the way he looks at me since
      the kiss that he�s afraid of me. So I told him that 1)
      I couldn�t be with someone who�s freakin� scared to
      death of me. 2) I knew since the first day I knew if
      something �romantic� was gonna happen between us that
      it wasn�t gonna last long. So we�re still working on
      the friends thing.

      Right now. I�m listening to Avril Lavigne�s Losing
      Grip. I can�t help it but think when I�m listening to
      this song this reminds me about mine and Logan�s
      relationship. See, I think that he thinks of me as a
      little sister, since Jean�s disappearance all we�ve
      been doing was eyeing eachother, and that�s all,
      besides, the usual hello, good mornings, good nights,
      and all that.

      >Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby
      Right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real<

      That lyrics I feel that a lot, when�s he�s was around
      Jean it�s like that I am invisible to him, I don�t
      know if Logan really loves her or something.

      >Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you
      Why'd you turn away?<

      That reminds me when he came back, and when we hugged
      and he just seemed to not realize that I have kinda
      changed and the look I was giving him was kind of a
      dead give away.

      >Here's what I have to say I was left to cry there,
      waiting outside there grinning with a lost stare
      That's when I decided


      Why should I care
      Cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone
      You, you need to listen I'm starting to trip,
      I'm losing my grip and I'm in this thing alone<

      That reminded me of when I was having his and Eric�s
      nightmares, and I couldn�t really tell anyone because
      they wouldn�t really understand, not like Logan.

      >Am I just some chick you place beside you to take
      somebody's place
      when you turn around can you recognize my face you
      used to love me,
      you used to hug me
      But that wasn't the case<

      I feel that if he�s not around Jean I just feel that
      he just hangs around me, more like it, but I�m just
      thinking bad thoughts, because thing song is not only
      a good song but it sure as hell is very depressing.

      I have to say that I am so fuckin� jealous of Jean
      because she gets all of the men she wants, and while
      others think that I�m just a kid, like Logan, and to
      tell you the truth I was always mature for my age, I
      just felt that I wasn�t sure if I was really a
      teenager, you now, like I�m a adult stuck on being a
      teenager. Which I really hate.

      ~ Rogue, are you busy?~

      ~No professor, why?~

      ~There�s a meeting in the conference room~

      ~Sure~

      So, I have arrived in the conference room, now what? I
      think that it�s bad news.

      �It�s Jean� Scott said.

      �Really, what about her� I said in a sarcastic voice.

      �She�s alive� Scott said with delighted voice, of
      course.

      Well, DUH!

      �Well, duh.�

      �Rogue, I�m so sorry that I doubted you.�

      �Yeah, whatever.� Paused. �What else? What did you all
      find out? Wait she did that head thing didn�t she?
      Professor?�

      �Yes, she did Rogue.�

      �Cool, when�s she comin� back?�

      �Next week.� Professor said.

      �Why then and not now�

      �She said that she the Dark Phoenix and that she�s
      working out away from the dark right now.�

      �Oh.� Now I gaze at Logan, and that�s when it hits me,
      it�s gonna hell competing with the returning more
      gorgeously beautiful than I will ever be Jean. I
      wonder how Scott will react to that?

      Shit, I don�t know what to do, I feel so fuckin�
      depressed as hell, I think that I�m just gonna return
      to my own room that the professor gave me when I
      officially turned X-Men, and listen to that Avril
      Lavigne song tons of times until I fall asleep or
      something.

      �Okay, well if y�all need me, I�ll be in my room
      listening to music.�

      Then I left the room.

      TBC


      ------------------------------------------------------


      Here�s the full song:

      "Losing Grip"
      Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby
      Right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real
      Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you
      Why'd you turn away?
      Here's what I have to say I was left to cry there,
      waiting outside there grinning with a lost stare
      That's when I decided

      [chorus]
      Why should I care
      Cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone
      You, you need to listen I'm starting to trip,
      I'm losing my grip and I'm in this thing alone

      Am I just some chick you place beside you to take
      somebody's place
      when you turn around can you recognize my face you
      used to love me,
      you used to hug me
      But that wasn't the case
      Everything wasn't ok I was left to cry there
      waiting outside there grinning with a lost stare
      That's when I decided

      [chorus]

      Crying out loud I'm crying out loud
      Crying out loud I'm crying out loud

      Open your eyes
      Open up wide
      Why should I care
      Cuz you weren't there
      when I was scared I was so alone Why should I care
      Cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone
      Why should I care
      If you don't care then I don't care were not going
      newhere
      Why should I care cuz you weren't there when I was
      scared I was so alone
      Why should I care If you don't care then i don't care
      were not going newhere

      =====
      Nicca
      "I have the tedency to confuse people a lot!"

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