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Seasons Past (After the Fall, 7/8)

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  • Mo
    Seasons Past (After the Fall, 7/8) It s a lot harder than it looks. Logan looked up at Scott, his hand still stroking Scott s erection. He had a look of
    Message 1 of 1 , Jan 14, 2004
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      Seasons Past (After the Fall, 7/8)

      "It's a lot harder than it looks." Logan looked up at
      Scott, his hand still stroking Scott's erection. He
      had a look of consternation on his face.

      Scott looked down. "It doesn't look hard?" he asked,
      puzzled.

      "Not your cock, stupid. Giving head. It looks so
      easy when you're doing it to me. I'm really trying,
      here, but I can't get the hang of it." He put his
      head down again, licking the underside of Scott's cock
      slowly and thoroughly, with long rough strokes,
      enjoying the unfamiliar sensations as well as the
      sounds Scott was making. He worked his way up the
      shaft until he was right at the top, moving his tongue
      all around the head, lips sucking as he licked round
      and round. One hand stroking up and down and the
      other on his own hard on, moving in the same rhythm.

      Scott was moaning and whimpering a little, giving into
      the marvelous feeling, then stopping abruptly because
      he suddenly worried he was too loud. Since they had
      come back to Westchester, Scott had been very aware
      that he and Logan didn't have the degree of privacy
      they'd had when they were all alone in that big house
      in Peru. Still, Logan's bedroom was near the Danger
      Room and far away from student dorms. No one was
      likely to be on this floor at all so late at night.
      So he resolved not to worry about the noise, leaning
      back and closing his eyes as Logan's mouth engulfed
      the head of his cock, moving down a little, hand still
      rubbing up and down, fingers meeting his mouth. "What
      are you talking about? This feels great. Your
      mouth... and your hand..."

      Logan's head came up again. Both hands on Scott now,
      he kept stroking him absentmindedly while he talked,
      one hand moving up and down the shaft, the other
      stroking the head with thumb and two fingers with
      strong, slow movements. Logan was clearly thinking
      about what they both were saying, but what he was
      doing with his hands was very distracting to Scott.
      He was having trouble following the conversational
      thread, wanting to just go with what Logan was doing
      to him and how it made him feel. But he worked at
      listening to what the man in front of him was saying,
      trying to focus his attention on Logan�s words, rather
      than his actions, as he continued talking. "I can't
      take it all the way in like you do. It makes me choke
      when I even try. How the fuck do you do that?" His
      eyes narrowed as he looked down again. "You're not
      any bigger than I am."

      Scott laughed at that. "Maybe I've got a bigger
      mouth."

      "That I'll believe." He bent down again and started
      licking Scott's balls while he stroked. Scott
      surrendered to the luxurious feeling again, hoping
      they were done talking. But pretty soon Logan stopped
      and asked, "Really, though. How do you do it?"

      "It's just something you do with your throat, sort of
      relaxing the muscles. It takes practice." He smiled.
      "I've had a lot of practice."

      "That I'll believe, too." Still stroking with one
      hand, Logan put the other one to his own neck, feeling
      around as he experimented with different kinds of
      swallowing motions. "Relaxing the muscles?" he asked.
      "How do you do that?"

      "I can teach you, if you want." He took Logan's hand
      away from his neck and brought it to his own mouth.
      Scott sucked the middle finger in deep, stroking it
      with his tongue. "But not now," he continued, letting
      Logan's hand go and sighing as Logan resumed stroking
      with both hands. Scott reflected absently that there
      were many times when he wished Logan would speak more,
      but just now he'd be happy if he'd shut up. "Just do
      what you were doing before. Please." The last word
      came out breathlessly, sighing as Logan bent his head
      back down to Scott's cock.

      Scott closed his eyes again. Logan looked up and saw
      the red glow fading as he continued to kiss and lick.
      One hand was stroking up and down, rotating slightly,
      while the other cradled Scott's balls, a finger
      sliding up behind, into the crack of his ass, teasing
      the opening a little. The motions of Logan's hands
      and mouth were slow, steady, and powerful. Scott
      thought, not for the first time, that Logan's hands
      were amazing. Skin unbelievably soft, since his
      healing factor prevented calluses from forming, yet
      great strength and an almost superhuman control. And
      now, with what he was doing with his mouth as well, it
      felt totally glorious. �I never want this to end,� he
      thought clearly. He tried to hang on longer, feeling
      the approaching orgasm as Logan sucked on the head and
      rubbed harder and faster on the shaft. Finally, he
      couldn�t hold out any longer and gave into it, feeling
      the cum spurting out of him into Logan's mouth and
      opening his eyes to see if he'd swallow it.

      He did, or most of it anyway. Logan quickly got up
      and grabbed Scott by the back of his head, kissing him
      hard, excited by what he'd just done. Scott could
      taste his cum as Logan's tongue pushed into his mouth.
      Logan took Scott's hand, whispering, "Do me." Scott
      obliged, rubbing hard as they kissed, and then bending
      down to take Logan's cock in his mouth when the kiss
      ended. It wasn't long before he was tasting Logan's
      cum as well as his own.

      They sat there afterwards, breathing hard still,
      contented to sit side by side, companionably, without
      speaking.

      Logan broke the silence after a few minutes. "You
      liked it?"

      "Oh yes." Scott smiled happily. The smile
      disappeared and he asked, a little hesitantly, "Did
      you like doing it?"

      "Yeah," he replied, slowly, contemplatively. "A lot.
      I really wanted to but I wasn't sure I'd like it."

      "Well, I'm glad you did."

      "It felt great. I loved the taste of you, the feel of
      doing it to you. And something else.� He held his
      head to one side, thinking. �Part of it was sort of
      feeling like you were totally in my hands."

      "And in your mouth." They both laughed at that.

      "Yeah, but you know what I mean. Feeling like I was
      doing something big to you. Something powerful.
      Really turned me on. I sure didn't last long
      afterwards."

      "Yeah, I noticed." Scott thought some more. "Did it
      feel like... a big deal? A big step to take? You'd
      never done it before, right?"

      "I don't know, really. There's a lot of stuff I don't
      remember." Logan looked away. "But, no, I don't
      think I ever did. Not in the time that's still there
      in my brain. Or the part of my brain I can get to."
      He laughed, a low chuckle. "And if I get the
      professor to read my mind again, I don't think I'll
      ask him to look for forgotten blow jobs, necessarily.
      At least not first thing." He thought some more.
      "I'm not sure what you mean by a big deal. It did
      feel different than doing other stuff, different than
      what we've been doing, or what I�d done with other
      men. I thought about what you said that time, about
      knowing what it feels like. I knew what you were
      feeling. I wanted you to feel what I've been feeling
      when you blow me. I guess that's why I wanted to take
      it all the way in."

      "I thought it was just because you couldn't stand the
      thought of me being able to do something you can't."
      Logan laughed again at that. "Seriously, though, I
      guess by a big deal, I meant that it's kind of a
      defining act or something." He looked away again. "I
      thought it might make you wonder if you're gay."

      "Nah."

      Logan seemed unconcerned about the question, so Scott
      persisted. �Did you ever think that? Or that you�re
      bisexual? I mean, you say you have had sex with other
      men.�

      �Yeah, even some I remember.� He didn�t say anything
      for a long time. Scott wondered if he was going to
      say more at all. �I guess that gay and bi stuff
      doesn�t mean a lot to me. I don�t really get it.
      It�s women I�ve been interested in. Well, until
      recently,� he added, looking with pleasure up and down
      Scott�s body. �I�ve done it with men mostly �cause it
      was convenient, I guess.�

      �Convenient?� Scott laughed.

      �What�s funny about that?�

      �I don�t know. It just sounded kind of funny. What
      do you mean?�

      Logan shrugged. �Men are easy, I guess.� He thought
      about it. �I was moving around a lot. Didn�t really
      know anybody. But I wanted sex. Needed it. I like to
      have my cock sucked and there�s always some guys that
      like to suck cock. They�re easy to find lots of
      places. And you don�t have to talk nice to them or
      buy them dinner or anything. Easier than women.
      Convenient.�

      �I guess so. So, you don�t usually feel attracted to
      men? Just women?�

      �Mostly women. Until you. I mean, I definitely got
      off on guys giving me head, but not the specific guy.
      Sometimes I�d feel a little of what you were saying
      that time, that connection or whatever it is of you
      both being men. Thinking of him sucking my cock,
      thinking he probably likes having his cock sucked,
      too. But I never felt like doing anything to the
      other guy. I never even touched them, really, never
      jerked them off like I�ve been doing with you.�

      �Were you... repelled by the idea of touching another
      guy�s cock, of bringing him off?�

      �Nah, I don�t think so. Just no interest. I just
      wanted to get off.� He mused a little more.
      �Sometimes there was something else. I liked the fact
      of this guy on his knees in front of me, too, some of
      the time. Sort of felt good the same way fighting
      does, when I win. And I always win,� he added with a
      smile. �But lots of times I�d close my eyes and
      pretend it�s a women there doing it. And, what you
      said about noticing people � it�s always the women I
      notice, can�t look away from. Or was. I don�t know �
      it�s been different with you. I wanted to look at
      you; I like looking at you." Scott felt warmed by his
      intent gaze. "I wanted to touch you, knew when you
      sucked me off I wouldn�t be thinking of anybody else.
      It�s been like that for a long time. Maybe from the
      start. Although that was all mixed up with hating
      your guts,� he added with a chuckle.

      �Yeah, we didn�t get off to a good start. But a lot
      of that was Jean, don�t you think? Being in love with
      the same woman?�

      Logan shook his head. �I was never in love with her.
      I wanted to fuck her, no getting away from that, but I
      wasn�t in love. And maybe,� he added slowly, like he
      was trying to get it straight in his head, �Maybe I
      partly wanted to have her kind of as a way of getting
      you. I�m not sure.� He thought about it some more.
      �But I�m sure it wasn�t love. I ain�t never been in
      love.�

      �With the usual caveats,� Scott interjected with a
      smile.

      �Whatever that means.�

      �Oh, just that you can�t know for sure. Because of
      the amnesia. You just know that you don�t remember
      being in love.�

      Logan thought about that one for a minute. �Nah, I
      bet I�d know if I had,� he said. He didn�t say
      anything more, and Scott waited, not knowing whether
      to press him further. When Logan spoke again, it
      seemed to be an entirely different topic. �I can
      speak Japanese, you know.�

      �No, I didn�t know.� Eyebrows raised.

      Logan chuckled. �What?"

      "It just seemed like quite the non sequitur."

      "Hang on. It has something to do with what we were
      talking about, trust me.� He closed his eyes in
      memory. �I didn�t know I could for a long time,� he
      continued. �Isn�t that weird? To know a language but
      not know you know it? I didn�t know lots of stuff I
      know. When I woke up in the woods that time, well, I
      had other things on my mind. I didn�t remember a lot,
      but I didn�t know what I didn�t remember, couldn�t
      even tell what was missing. I mean, I knew something
      awful had happened to me and I knew that I wanted to
      die. So, that�s kind of all I focused on for a while.
      But when I couldn�t...� He looked away from Scott.
      �Well, then I started thinking about what I did and
      didn�t know. It took a while to even realize how much
      was missing. I mean, I kind of didn�t even notice
      what I didn�t know, or maybe didn�t realize that other
      people did know that stuff. It all seems so fucked up
      when I look back on it, but it must�ve taken me a year
      or two to even think it was strange that I don�t know
      my whole name. Can you believe that?�

      Scott nodded. �I�ve read up on post-traumatic amnesia
      lately.� He reddened a little at Logan�s inquiring
      expression. �Well, I�m interested in what you�ve been
      through. I�m trying to understand,� he added
      hurriedly. �Anyway, what you�re saying is kind of
      typical. The amnesiac doesn�t even know what
      information is missing, doesn�t have a clear sense of
      what he ought to know. It takes time to sort of get a
      handle on the extent of the amnesia. Often it�s
      family or friends or the amnesiac�s doctor that clues
      him into what he�s missing.�

      �Yeah, that�s what it was like for me. Logan � I knew
      that was my name, but I still don�t even know if it�s
      my first name or my last name. And I knew I was a
      mutant, knew about the claws and the heightened senses
      before I had to use them.�

      �What about the healing factor?�

      �No, I didn�t know that part. Not at first. I was
      real surprised when I found out � first time I tried
      to kill myself,� he added. �I used my claws, put �em
      right into my heart. It hurt like hell, but I didn�t
      die. I was so pissed off. And confused, too. I mean
      how can a person get stabbed through the heart and not
      die? But then, after a minute, it kind of came back
      and it made sense to me why it didn�t work. I spent a
      month or more trying different ways, but none of them
      worked. I was still alive. And by the end of that I
      was almost feeling more mad that I couldn�t do it than
      just wanting to die for its own sake, if that makes
      any sense.� He laughed ruefully. �Pretty fucked up,
      like I said. But I figured it was time to give up on
      trying to kill myself and start looking for how I got
      to be this way.�

      �And the suicidal feelings were just gone after that?�

      �Nah, they come back sometimes. I try to fight �em
      when they do.� He paused again. �Booze helps
      sometimes. Sometimes it makes it worse. Hard to
      know. Sex helps, though, pretty much all the time.
      It�s worse � the suicidal stuff � when I�m doing
      without.� He looked at Scott. �You�ve been helping
      me.�

      �I live to serve.� Scott tried for a light tone,
      knowing that the last thing Logan would want was any
      expression that might sound like pity.

      Logan continued. �Anyway, it was like you said, I
      didn�t have a clear sense of what I should know so I
      didn�t know what I was missing. But I didn�t have any
      family or friends or doctors to clue me in. And I was
      moving from place to place, not talking to people
      much, just kind of figuring it out on my own. So, I
      started to realize I was missing a lot, but I still
      didn�t know what I *did* know. So, for example, I
      didn�t know I could speak Japanese. I was mostly in
      rural Canada, not anywhere you�d hear anybody talking
      in Japanese, eh?�

      �I guess not. How did you find out?�

      �Well, sometimes I would go into the cities, trying to
      find out more about who I am and how I got to be this
      way. I had this idea that it had something to do
      with the government there, so I�d gone to Ottawa. And
      I�m sitting in this bar one night � no luck on what I
      was trying to find out so I�m just hanging out there
      feeling discouraged, trying to distract myself from my
      own thoughts, which weren�t good ones. Well, you know
      how it is - heightened senses � I can hear anything I
      want to. So, I�m just kind of scanning the room,
      seeing if anybody�s saying anything interesting.
      There was this blonde in a booth across the room,
      whispering to her boyfriend about what they were gonna
      do that night, but that was just getting me horny, so
      I figured I�d move on. Two Japanese guys were in the
      booth next to them, just talking business. What they
      were saying wasn�t so interesting, but I couldn�t stop
      listening to them. I could understand every word.
      Well, not quite � there was some stuff about their
      work that I didn�t get, maybe it was too technical or
      something. But most of it was just as easy to
      understand as English. So, that�s when I knew I knew
      Japanese.�

      �And you can speak it, too?� Logan nodded. �We have
      a Japanese student here. Masako. Have you met her?�

      Logan nodded again. �Yeah, I�ve talked to her a few
      times. She likes having somebody to talk to in her
      native language. She says I have a �country� accent,
      that I talk like her grandparents. She�s from Tokyo,
      but her grandparents live in a village up north.� He
      mused some more. �That makes sense to me. I look at
      pictures of Tokyo and it doesn�t look familiar at all.
      But sometimes, I see pictures of rural Japan, the
      countryside or villages, and I know it. Not just the
      language. I know the plants and the animals �
      sometimes I know the names for them in Japanese but
      not in English. I can look at the picture and know
      what it sounds like there, what it smells like.� He
      looked right at Scott. �I have no memory of being in
      Japan. I don�t have any idea when I was there or what
      the fuck I was doing there. But I *know* I was there.
      I know the language, the clothes, the food, the
      people. So, I�m sure I was there.�

      �Okay, that makes sense.� Scott nodded, encouraging
      Logan to continue.

      �Well, when people talk about being in love, like when
      you talk about Jeannie... it�s not like you�re talking
      in English. Or Japanese. It�s like another language,
      one I don't know. Or maybe not like that. I mean, I
      understand the words. But I don�t understand the
      idea, not like I would if it had happened to me. If
      I�d ever been in love, I might not know when or how,
      like I don�t know when I was in Japan. But I�d know
      it had happened, I�m sure of it.�





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