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  • Linda J
    NO CURE FOR THE COMMON COLD BY LINDA J. RATING: G DISCLAIMER: Since I don t make any money from these fan fictions I can t afford to give you the long fancy
    Message 1 of 1 , Jan 1, 2004
      BY LINDA J.
      RATING: G
      DISCLAIMER: Since I don't make any money from these fan fictions I
      can't afford to give you the long fancy version, so you'll to settle
      for the cheap version instead.
      SUMMERY: What if an accelerated healing factor is useless against the
      common cold?
      TIMELINE AND/OR UNIVERSE: non-specific.
      FEEDBACK: No thanks. I like to spend hours and hours writing these
      things only to send them into cyber space believing that no one will
      ever read them.
      ARCHIEVE: Just let me know so I can tell my friends.

      What if even an accelerated healing factor was useless against the
      common cold? And have you ever noticed how the really rough, tough,
      and macho men turn into such babies when they're sick?
      If so, then don't be surprised to someday see Logan stumbling around
      the x-mansion with his blanket wrapped around him looking like a
      "Anybody seen my hankie? I need my hankie!" *Cough, cough, sniffle
      snort.* Logan asks no one in particular in a nasal voice as he
      hopelessly searches for his hankie but with no luck. He feels an
      enormous sneeze building up inside so he compensates. He grabs one of
      the lace dollies used for a table decoration, not caring that he
      knocked over the vase of flowers standing on it. *A-A-ACHOO!*
      "Storm, please for the love of God fix me some chicken noodle soup!
      Oh, thanks doll, you saved my life! I'll just be in the parlor curled
      up on the couch watching the tube." *sniffle, sniffle*
      "Don't forget to bring it in my favorite bowl OK? And oh, be sure to
      add enough salt and pepper too. Make sure you heat it up real good, I
      like it good and hot remember?" *cough, cough*
      "And would you be so kind to add those cute little fishy crackers?
      But I don't want them in my soup just put a bunch on the side OK? Oh
      thanks Storm, you're the greatest!" *sniffle, gac, snort*
      A few minutes pass and Storm brings Logan a tray carrying Logan's
      chicken noodle soup in his favorite bowl with the cute little fish
      crackers on the side. She finds Logan wrapped up in his blanket like
      a cocoon, with only his eyes, nose and mouth exposed to the elements.
      When he sees her, he tries to sit up, only to look like a tired, weak
      caterpillar trying to escape prematurely from his cocoon.
      "That's all the crackers you're going to give me?" Logan whimpers.
      "I want more! And oh, would you mind fluffing this pillow before you
      leave?" *Cough, sniffle, sniffle cough*
      When Storm returns she is carrying the entire box of fish crackers.
      She sees Logan is laying down again and hasn't even touched his soup.
      When he sees her this time he doesn't even try to sit up.
      "Storm, someone moved the remote again. Can you look for it for me?
      But give me the crackers first. And now my soup's too cold. Would you
      mind heating it up ag…"
      Storm stands directly behind Logan and holds the box of fish crackers
      over his head.
      "…Storm? What are you doing?" Logan innocently asks the weather
      She tips the boxes over pouring out every one of the cute little fish
      crackers onto Logan's head.
      "Hey what the…" Logan yelps as dozens of crackers and crumbs cover
      him. When the box is empty, she turns around and struts out of the
      parlor, very pleased with herself.
      "Just wait until I'm better you witch!" *cough, cough* Logan tries to
      yell then continues to talk to no one there.
      "I hope you catch this bug from me! Ah, I wish I could die! I feel
      so bad. I don't think I can make it up those stairs." *Snort, snort,
      gaccle, snort*
      "I'll just curl up here and try to sleep. *cough, cough, snort*
      "Where's my hankie! I need my hankie!"
      THE END
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