Title: Seasons of Growth
Chapter 21: Uninvited
Author: November Tuesday
Rating: NC-17 for naughty words
Summary: Rogue has a party and Logan isn't invited.
Continuity: Series begins 3 years after X1.
Disclaimer: Marvel, Fox, Brian Singer yadda yadda yadda
Archive: Sure, and if it's someplace other than list archives, please
let me know.
Feedback: is not quite as good as sex but is better than chocolate.
On Christmas morning, after the presents were opened, Jubilee
materialized at Rogue and Maggie's door, straight from her parents'
place, with more presents and questions.
"Girl, I heard there was a whole lotta interesting stuff going on
Rogue groaned and poured Jubilee a cup of coffee. "What did you
"I heard that you looked gorgeous, that Wolverine couldn't keep his
eyes off of you, and that you danced with everyone but him."
"Your informant is grossly mistaken, Jubilee. I did dance with him."
"And... he told me I was beautiful. And... nothing. I told him I had
"Yes, the U2 Christmas song came on."
"Oh god." Jubilee knew the significance of that song.
"I had to get out of there. Jubie, how many Christmases have I pined
for him to that stupid song?"
"Um, like five?"
"So that came on and I was like- I have to go. And I bolted."
"Very Wolverinish of you."
The spoon in Marie`s hand stopped stirring. "Oh, now fuck you
Jubilee, that's just harsh."
"Fuck you. It was either stay there and become a puddle of tears on
the dance floor, or bolt. Me trying to not make an ass out of myself
is not the same as being incommunicado for five years."
"True. My bad. My point, though, is that you're refusing to deal with
"No I'm not. I'm just dealing with it in my own time. He comes
waltzing back in here right after Kitty died and I'm sorry but I just
don't have the energy for his shit right now. I told him we'd pick it
up later, but not now!"
"Is it that you can't deal with it now, or that you wanna make him
suffer a little?"
"Jesus Christ, Jubilee. Whose side are you on?"
Marie told herself that it wasn't true, but during the long days and
nights of winter break she turned this thought over in her head. Yes,
she did want him to suffer a little. But that wasn't all of it. She
didn't know how to trust him.
On New Year's Eve she threw a party. Rakim and Leah and Art and
Sherry were there, Jubilee was there, John and Bobby and Carter and
Scott and Jean were all there. There was barely room to walk in
Rogue's apartment. Techno music pumped everywhere.
Logan had heard that Rogue was having a party. As much as parties
made him anxious he'd hoped she would invite him. He'd nearly managed
to forget what day it was and when he went to his studio he
succeeded. Unfortunately the winter light was short so after painting
in the waning light for a few hours he ventured back to the mansion.
The college streets were nearly deserted but he passed two college
students carrying a keg of beer home.
He remembered a wrench that Scott needed and went in through the
garage, up to the fifth floor. It was a lame excuse for walking down
her hallway. He heard party noises from within. His mouth tightened
into a frown. There was, of course, no answer at Scott and Jean's
door. He pushed the wrench under the door and walked the stairs to
his floor two at a time.
Inside, he stripped naked and closed the curtains. He turned on his
TV, but the 18 channels of Times Square footage made him feel even
more lonely so he turned it off. He put in a blues CD and went into
After, he lay on his bed naked and stared at the ceiling. It was only
nine forty-eight. He felt like the biggest loser on the planet.
It was on days like this the lab memories came back quickest, what
little there were. They had increased in the last few years, growing
from flashes to snatches of dialogue above him, twenty kinds of pain
distinct in his memory, faces of certain ones that made him want to
He wondered if it was always going to be that way for him. Some
things had gotten better in the years he had gone, some were worse.
In winter the depression settled most heavily. His thoughts again
turned to suicide and how to achieve it. How he was cursed, how it
would be so much easier for any other man.
He knew he wouldn't do it though. He'd made it through some hellish
times. Made a few friends, Johnny and Hank and in his own way
Charles. And the painting. That was a world that was opening up to
And Marie. Always, since he'd come back, his thoughts returned to
her. What did he feel for her? It was nothing like what he could
remember feeling for anyone. Jean, perhaps, had come closest.
He decided that he felt a million things for her. Pride at how the
girl had grown into a woman. Guilt, so damn much guilt and self-
loathing, so intense that it didn't seem it would ever end, that it
would suck him down in its vortex. The desire to protect her, and
damn, what a joke that was. He wanted it nonetheless.
He wanted her. He wanted to hold her close and feel her heart beating
against his own. He wanted to thread his fingers through that silky
hair, the brown and the white. He wanted to make love to her. He
remembered fucking but he didn't remember making love to anyone
before and the thought excited him in a way that had little to do
He knew that she wanted him once. Sometimes from the look in her eye
he thought she wanted him now. Was it even possible for her to
respect him, let alone want him?
He had seen her once with the kid, after she'd fallen and hurt her
leg. She had picked Maggie up and held her, hands threading through
her hair, whispering soothing things to her, comforting her.
He wanted that most of all.
Upstairs, they raised their glasses to a new year.
The next chapter is up at novemberotica.com