Series: X-Men: Academy (pilot)
Title: FEELING THUNDER
part: 8/?; songfic;
author: myself ;)
language: English, but that's not my native language, so please forgive me my mistakes. Beta reader searched!
Disclaimer: All X-Men and other Marvel characters in here belong to Marvel, 20 Century Fox and else. Not mine ;).
Universe: Only based on the storyline of the movie 'X-Men'.
Timeline: Begins with the first movie
Romance: Jean/Logan, Scott/OC
Summary: This story is about the happenings in the X-Men movie as well as the war between Magneto's and Xavier's people starting...
Feedback: will not only be appreciated, but... well, you know *G*.
Rating: none for this part
remarks: On my homepage on http://www.catbull.com/adora/fanfxmen.html
you find all my stories with pics in it. With them they're nicer to read ;). But it's the same stories :).
remark: The italic written _words_ are from the Song ,Alleine, zu zweit' = 'Alone, together', sung by the German group 'Lacrimosa'. This song is as less mine as the X-Men ;).
May I come in?"
"Hello, Logan." Flashwind was laying on her bed, looking through some old photos, when Wolverine entered her room next morning. Well, actually on their bed, she corrected her own thought, sighing. Since today it was theirs, after all. She had moved into Scott's little but comfortable apartment today, the one, Jean and him had shared for years. Jean on the other hand had moved into the room, Logan would return to after his journey to Alaska. So what they all had wanted had happened, plus, one room was spared. But it wasn't right. It had a bitter taste that made you feel sick. Logan visiting Katja this morning - when Scott and Jean both taught pupils - shortly before he would leave, showed her that he felt the same.
"How's it going?" He pointed at the long needle of the infusion in her elbow.
"Okay", she nodded. "Still hurts, but it will pass."
"Sure." He sat down next to her. "Flashwind... I'm sorry."
"It was an accident", she said gently. "I don't blame you, so you don't need to do it either. Okay?"
"Okay. What's this music? Is this German?" He lightly leaned his head aside, listening to the sad melody being played from Kathi's computer.
She nodded. "Lacrimosa, 'Alleine, zu zweit', meaning 'Alone, together'. Fits my mood somehow."
"Can't be a good mood then", he commented. "Sounds depressing."
She rested her head on her free arm. "I feel so damn bad."
"Me too." He ran a nervous hand through his hair. "I never thought it would bother me that much. Jeannie and Scooter... What have we done?"
"It wasn't our decision only." Being said, it sounded even more lame than being thought. Again she stared at the picture in her hand.
"May I?" Logan sat down next to her.
"Of course. Scott got all of them together this morning, he'll bring them up to the attic later. I guess he just doesn't want to see them for a while."
"Understandable. Is that Jean? Didn't know she's been a real redhead." The tender admiration in Wolverine's eyes showed how real his feelings for the doctress were.
"She dyed her hair that dark because she wanted to attract less attention." Katja had asked Scott the same. "But I know that sometimes she misses this bright red. So you have a good chances that she'll return to it someday."
"I hope she'll let her hair grow, too. It's much longer on that pic. Fits her better." Thoughtfully, he took a closer look at the photograph. "It's really no surprise, he fell in love with her. They look very happy. Is this a still?"
"Yep. They've been in a studio last year, on the occasion of their engagement."
Shocked, he looked up. "I didn't know they were..."
"Neither did I. Jubilee told me at breakfast. I guess, Scott will kill her for it. You know... When she said it... For a moment, I was about to quit everything. But then I saw this." Cat gave him another picture. Scott and Jean on a ball, dancing. Her eyes were empty. He didn't seem to be really interested though he loved dancing that much. "Two months ago."
"Now, that looks different." Logan's eyes narrowed.
"Turn it. He must have written that only lately. The ink's still fresh."
"'Alone, together'." Wolverine arched his eyebrows, surprised. "Chance?"
"Ever since I'm living here, I stopped believing in chance." She closed her eyes, concentrating on the music.
"Tell me what it means."
"The words. Translate them", he asked her.
"There's an easier way." Cat took the keyboard of her computer, opening a new mp3. "My cousin and I sung and recorded this in English years ago. But I have to warn you... This is hard."
_At the end of truth
at the end of light_
At the beginning it sounded like a love song. Katja wasn't surprised to see his little grimace.
_at the end of love
at the end, there's you_
Five words, changing everything, not just the meaning of the song. Five words, such like: 'It's okay. We'll make it.' With that, Scott's had told Jean that it was over, back in the Statue of Liberty.
_The emptier my heart is
as a part of me's leaving now
Nothing has survived
silently we parted, long ago_
Logan's sight grew dark. Kathi and him both had heard this sentence before. Still they couldn't believe it, that in a certain way it had been over between Scott and Jean before they had come to the mansion.
_And with every new day ,Us'
the lie of our love grew_
A lie. Could it have been that? A relationship of five years, a lie? They didn't need to talk anymore. Wolverine and Katja both knew each other's thoughts like their own in these minutes. The same conflict had made them a little, secret family.
_And the further we went together
the more the distance between us grew_
The dancing photo. Though it was a Waltz, a standard-dance, there was too much space between Scott and Jean. As if they didn't want to touch.
We have unlearned to search for each other_
Five years. Five years living in the same room. Three years fighting in the same team. Five years doing the same job. No space for anything new.
_The habit is a fog_
Jean and Scott. Scott and Jean. A fact.
_The lethargy suffocates_
Five years without any freedom. No family to flee to. But that wasn't necessary, there was no quarrel to cry over. Every quarrel was avoided.
_The arrogance intoxicates_
Scott, the leader of the team. Jean, the psychic leader, when they were on a mission. A perfect team.
_And the nearness leaves you fleeing_
So much space between them, while doing a dance that required complete close contact.
_Dance, my life, dance
dance with me
dance with me once more
into the highness of naked love_
A last kiss when the dawn came, after a long, hard night. A sad, longing kiss, before they said good-bye forever.
_And when I saw him like that
When I experience her
When I look at us-
something has survived_
Locking Photos away so you didn't have to see them anymore. Leaving a room that you've lived in for years. Not even thinking of a restart.
_And if I found strength and hope
If I still had faith in us
If I could reach her/him
had her/him once more alone for myself_
What was it that Scott was hiding behind his glasses when he meet Jean in the hall? Why did he look at the ceiling, while she was looking at the floor? What would have happened if Flashwind would just have sent him away yesterday when he had confessed his love to her?
_If the base, our foundation
If we would discover each other new
If she/he just wanted it-
"It was a mistake." Logan rested his face in his hands. "If I just would have left... What have we done?"
We have unlearned to search for each other
The habit is a fog
The lethargy suffocates
The arrogance intoxicates
And the nearness leaves you fleeing_
"What we had to do, I guess. What we thought to be right. We listened to our hearts." Cat bit her lower lip. "Listening to this song, I couldn't tell if it was really wrong."
_Dance, my life, dance
dance with me
dance with me once more
into the highness of naked love
"The school lesson is over." Wolverine stood up. "Jean's waiting in the courtyard already, I guess. If I just knew what to tell her."
"Tell her the truth. That you'll be back in a few weeks and that she has to make up her decision in the meantime." Katja closed the box with he photos. These were Scott's memories, not hers. "That's what I'll tell him, too. I'll move into Jubilee's and Kitty's room for a few days. This everything just happened too fast. It's their decision, but we can at least discreetly stand back and watch."
"But it hurts, anyway, doesn't it?" he asked quietly, looking at the photo from the engagement again, then put it into his pocket.
"Of course it hurts." She shortly ran her hand over her eyes. "Good journey, Logan. Come back soon. And take care of yourself." They shook hands- then they hugged tightly.
Then he was gone.
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