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Fic: Now and Forever (Logan/original character)

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  • "Sunshine"
    Title: Now and Forever Rated PG for descriptions of violence Summary: Jean describes a tender scene between Logan and Danielle. Takes place after the events of
    Message 1 of 1 , Sep 14, 2003
      Title: Now and Forever

      Rated PG for descriptions of violence

      Summary: Jean describes a tender scene between Logan and Danielle.
      Takes place after the events of "Regressions"

      Disclaimer: I don't own them, but I do own the creation of Danielle
      aka Panther

      Feedback: Please

      Archiving: with my permission - would like to know where it is being

      Scott and I arrive home after enjoying an evening out dining and
      dancing. We enter the silent hallway of the mansion on our way to
      our room. In the blackness of the night, we hear a rustling near one
      of the windows in the TV room. Peering in, we could see the broad
      figure of Logan.

      Logan sat on the windowsill looking out into the darkness. I could
      sense great agitation coming from him. His dreams must have awoken
      him into a fury of rage. It has been a long time since he
      experienced this kind of reaction from his nightmares.

      We could smell alcohol from a bottle of bourbon that he must have had
      stashed somewhere. Of course, Scott would love to say something. I
      hold him back watching Logan drink himself into oblivion. I know he
      is in pain and disturbing Wolverine now is a dangerous thing to do.
      This isn't the first time I have found him like this, but I have to
      admit I didn't expect it.

      In the past, I knew his nightmares haunted him deeply and many nights
      we had heard him stir from his sleep. My gifts allowed me to enter
      his troubled mind and see the visions that tormented him – the
      blocked memories of what had been done to him and what made him into
      Wolverine. These memories, his nightmares, incite his berserker
      rage. No one could take away the pain and deeply recessed memories
      of the torture he endured.

      Having been in his head, having seen the hidden memories of the
      torturous experiments, I can understand his anguish and feel great
      compassion for the soldier who had been so abused by science and by

      The residents of the school had been more wary of the possibility of
      intruders since the raid by Stryker's men a few years ago. When
      Logan returned to the school, he has played sentinel – watching and
      waiting – for another squadron of soldiers to enter the home of his
      adopted family. There have been numerous times I have seen him just
      sit near the window and stare – stare out into the blackness of the
      night with enhanced vision.

      I know Logan remembers that night – every detail of what happened and
      how angry he felt that his new territory had been invaded and how the
      soldiers penetrated the safety of the school's walls turning the
      place into a battlefield. Logan was the only means of defense. I
      had heard of how Logan picked off most of the soldiers using his
      predatory instincts – silently approaching his prey and taking down
      each soldier he encountered.

      More than that, the children who had come to this school to feel safe
      had that security torn away from them. They are vulnerable and
      public knowledge, and Logan feels he would be damned to hell if he
      doesn't t try to change that – to allow them to feel safe again.

      Then, there was the guilt he felt when Danielle was heisted away in
      another raid. Danielle has brought some real stability to Logan.
      She gained his trust, tamed the animal, and whenever Logan got into
      emotional trouble, she was always there to pick him up. I saw them
      fall so deep in love and realized I could never be for Logan what
      Danielle is. And for Danielle, Logan is the one man who is
      everything she needs in a friend and a lover.

      His killer instincts went into full gear when we went out to rescue
      her. But even with his great strength and berserker rage, she was
      seriously injured. Logan was defenseless to help and held her dying
      in his arms. I watched Logan's emotional response to the painful
      thought of losing his soul mate.

      Yet, Fate was on her side and through the help of the Professor and
      Rogue, Logan was able to save her – passing on his ability to heal to
      strengthen her impaired gifts. But, he still felt he had in some way
      let her down. Like Rogue, he had sworn to protect her and he blamed
      himself for being a failure.

      Danielle had been augmented and her killer instincts brought forward –
      Panther had been fully unleashed – something Logan would not have
      wanted to happen to her. She now bears the same type of claws and
      the irony of it all is that she and him are that much more the
      perfect match. She has joined the X Team much to his chagrin, but
      when they fight side by side, they are a deadly combination.

      He stares out the window and I can feel his senses becoming clouded
      over as the alcohol streams through his body and takes a hold of
      him. Slowly, we watch him begin nodding off as his eyes become heavy
      with a desire to sleep, and he leans forward against the glass of the

      I enter his intoxicated mind and see visions of all the things that
      are swimming around in the dark depths of his soul. He kept thinking
      of all the things that tormented him – from the experiments that
      changed him to the terror he felt when he almost lost Danielle.

      Just as he doses off, we see a shadow coming down the hallway. It's
      Danielle. She tells Scott and I that Logan had awakened her with his
      nightmares. I tell her he is drinking, the first time since he and
      Danielle paired up, and she proceeds into the room to sit by his

      Cautiously, she grasps the bottle of alcohol and slowly begins to
      pull it from his grip. Setting the bottle down on the ledge and out
      of the way, we see his eyes drowsily open and squint with obviously
      blurred vision. He is trying to make out the figure that is near
      him. Her arm slides around his back slowly dragging her fingers
      across steely muscles that are tensing with fear. His eyes widen
      like a frightened animal and he coils up ready to spring and unleash
      his deadly metal claws.

      Logan is ready to strike, and Danielle attempts to calm him. Scott
      begins to walk toward them sensing the threat Logan poses to
      Danielle. I pull him to stop. I nod my head motioning for Scott to
      not interfere but to just watch in silence. I could sense this would
      not turn into a dangerous situation as Scott was thinking.

      "It's ok, Logan. I'm not gonna hurt ya," Danielle softly said
      realizing he was not completely himself.

      She pleads with him to stop torturing himself, that what happened was
      not his fault. Gently, she strokes him – trailing her fingers over
      his back, to his shoulder, and down his arm. His eyes follow her
      hand's path and I enter his mind again and see how it is a jumbled
      mess of painful thoughts. The agony in his eyes is so apparent to
      all of us.

      Danielle slowly grasps Logan's wrist – his clenched fist poised to
      release his killing weapons. Her soft growl sounds in Logan's ear
      and he relaxes to take his post looking outside the window again. I
      curiously cock my head watching the events as they happen. I am
      truly amazed at how Danielle is able to calm the animal's fury.
      Scott holds back but is prepared to intervene if the need arise.

      With all the gentleness and compassion a woman could give, Danielle
      stands behind Logan and wraps her arms around his waist and rests her
      cheek against his back. Her warm embrace must have sparked Logan's
      attention, although he remains silent and watching out the window
      while downing more of the bourbon.

      Just as she releases him and begins to walk away knowing he needs
      time to himself, he grabs her arm. We watch his eyes pleading
      silently for her to stay. She sits down by his side and looks out
      the window as he does.

      Danielle would glance over to him sometimes seeing him looking at her
      instead of out the window. His bloodshot eyes reveal what was in his
      soul – all the pain and despair he suffered during his imprisonment
      as an experimental guinea pig and the feelings of failure in
      protecting her.

      I could see she could sense all the agony without a word passing
      between them. He went to take another drink from the bourbon
      bottle. He was beyond intoxicated and spilled so much of the drink
      on himself instead of in his mouth. My heart sank as much as
      Danielle's must have seeing the anguish he was trying to drown with
      the booze. Her eyes sternly asked for him to again release the
      bottle to her.

      In his mind, I see how Logan realizes just why he is so in love with
      her. She didn't care about his feral tendencies – she was feral
      herself. She didn't mind his gruff personality – she had a way of
      bringing out the tenderness in him. She didn't fear being skewered
      to death by his deadly claws when they slept together – his rage-
      filled nightmares had subsided to thoughts of a future with his
      adoptive family and his special girl – at least until tonight.

      Scott began fussing around and I pulled his arm with a silent plea to
      be quiet. I knew deep down inside that I would have to beg Scott not
      to say a word of what we witnessed, as Scott would undoubtedly use
      this to attack Logan when he sobered up.

      As Danielle gets up and pulls the bourbon away, Logan huffs deeply.
      He looks into her eyes. She begins pulling his hand to follow her.
      He refuses to go. His arm remains taut, as she pulls harder.
      Instead of following her, he pulls her to him and she falls into his

      His kiss was unexpected to all of us, yet I could feel a strong
      passion. She didn't fight him as he tied her up in his arms
      tightly. I know Danielle could taste the bourbon so strongly, as if
      she had taken a drink from the bottle herself, just from the look on
      her face. Her body falls limp in his embrace.

      He smiles slyly as he releases her and obediently stumbled down the
      hallway trying to follow her. Scott decides to intervene and he and
      Danielle help the intoxicated Logan walk to his room.

      I follow them and watch as Logan angrily pushes Scott away. Scott
      backs off and joins me leaving Danielle to handle Logan herself. He
      sits down on his bed and looks up into Danielle's eyes. His arms
      wrap around her waist and he lays his head against her stomach. She
      embraces him feeling his pain.

      "I am sorry," he softly says.

      "Please stop blaming yerself, Logan," she replies.

      He picks up her hand looking it over knowing inside were claws of

      "It's all my fault," he said.

      "No, it ain't," she says angrily.

      "Why do ya put up with me?" he asks sadly.

      "'Cause I love ya," she responds.

      She pushes him gently to lie down and like a mother with her child
      she sweetly tucks him in. The look on Logan's face is endearing and
      painful all at once. This is another of Logan's great troubles – not
      remembering his childhood.

      It didn't take long for him to fall fast asleep. Danielle motions to
      us that everything is under control now, and we watch as she lies
      down beside the resting Wolverine. She gently strokes the long
      sideburns of his face and kisses his lips before she herself settles
      down to sleep again.

      We bid her goodnight and close the door quietly. As Scott and I walk
      down the hall to our room, I enter her mind hearing her saying she
      wishes she could take the pain away. If there was something I would
      strongly agree with, it is that. I have learned that overall, Logan
      is a good man and didn't deserve the hell he went through – a hell
      caused by prejudice.

      The next morning, Logan and Danielle are out in the courtyard
      supervising the kids as they play. There is a radio nearby and I can
      hear the song playing.

      Now and Foreverwritten by Richard Marx
      from the CD "Paid Vacation"

      Whenever I'm weary
      From the battles that raged in my head
      You made sense of madness
      When my sanity hangs by a thread
      I lose my way, but still you
      Seem to understand
      Now and Forever,
      I will be your man

      Sometimes I just hold you
      Too caught up in me to see
      I'm holding a fortune
      That Heaven has given to me
      I'll try to show you
      Each and every way I can
      Now and Forever,
      I will be your man

      Now I can rest my worries
      And always be sure
      That I won't be alone, anymore
      If I'd only known you were there
      All the time,
      All this time.....

      Until the day the ocean
      Doesn't touch the sand
      Now and Forever
      I will be your man
      Now and Forever,
      I will be your man.

      I watch Danielle lean close to Logan. His arms possessively hold her
      tight and he looks deep into her eyes. In his mind, I hear him
      telling her how he loves her – now and forever.
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