Fic: "Trapped In Darkness" PG-13 (31/31) [L/R, S/J]
- Hi all,
You should know how this goes by now....
Earlier chapters can be read here:
http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=391378 or at my
[ http://www.dreamwater.org/scottsummers/index.html ]
We've come full circle; this is the final part. I hope you have enjoyed the story.
Part 31: Epilogue:
Ororo walked over the grass, still wet from the mornings rain, a precious and beloved flower in her hand. She walked alone to the end of the garden of the mansion where Remy was buried, the precious flower cut off to, for a few days, grace his final resting place.
It had been several months since his death yet the pain in her heart hadnt seemed to lessen much. At first most of them had visited Remys grave often, but now only she came every day. Some laid flowers to him once a month, or went to his grave from time to time, but most of them felt that coming too often would deny them closure and the opportunity to move on. Next to her Scott, Xavier, Jean and Rogue were the most frequent visitors.
Ororo seated herself on the beautifully craved granite bench they had placed next to Remys gravestone. She looked at his grave for a little while before she went to it and laid her flower, a white rose, on his grave and sat back down again. The grave was covered with flowers and the gifts they had laid for him. Rain had marked the gravestone and time had seemed to heal the grave, giving it the look of age. The reminder that he had been gone for a long time now only increased the pain in her heart. She looked around, at the trees and flowers, at the sky and back at the mansion. Then she turned her head back to him.
It is a lovely morning today. The sun will shine, her voice was soft and hide barely controlled tears. She looked at the flowers on Remys grave and let a hand touch them gently before continuing.
As I told you Kitty and Peter married at City Hall two months ago and Kitty gave birth to a beautiful boy soon thereafter. Yesterday she and Peter had him baptised twice, her eyes sparkled at this, knowing Remy would have found that funny. First in the Russian Orthodox church which Peter belongs to, and then in the synagogue Kitty belongs to. It all went very well, she fell silent as she recalled how empty it had seemed without Remy there to light up the room. They named him Remy Michael Nicholas Rasputin .just like they promised, she added to try and drive her dark thoughts away and smiled at him.
Youll like him. He is so full of life .like you, Ororos voice threatened to break down and tears fell from her eyes. Why had he had to die? He hadnt deserved that. He was had been so young. He had had his entire life in front of him. She wiped her tears away.
Sorry, child. Where was I? Oh, yes. As I told you Scott and Jean married a while ago. They have grown closer. I think Jean is slowly getting better. I talk a lot with her. About what happened. About the rapes. It helps us both, she let a wind appear and let colourful leaves dance around the headstone in a ring to try and distract her from the pain those memories brought her. She searched her mind for something fun and light to tell him as she let the wind die again. Remy had always enjoyed funny and romantic stories so she tried to find such a story to tell him.
After Scott and Jean married Bobby and Jubilee moved in together, but they have had very big fights. I think they still have a long way to go before they have proceeded what happened at Genosha. As do we all, she added silently but then hurried on to the more fun episodes which had been a result of this. Remember the whole ice in the bed thing I told you about? Ororos smile died as silence was her only answer. Oh, well she hurried on. Last night Jubilee shot after Bobby with her firework mutation during an argument but accidentally hit the wall to Peter and Kittys room. She made a hole in the wall and they...well, they were having a tender moment, she smiled at the memory. Peter wasnt happy at all. Especially as little Remy woke up and he and Kitty had just spent hours trying to get him to sleep, The sun rose and its rays hit the gravestone, making it shine with an almost heavenly light. For a while Ororo sat in silence, admiring the heartbreaking beauty of his grave.
Gabrielle is getting better. I think, Ororo said thoughtfully. She has never spoken a word and probably never will. She uses signs with Charles and us now which is an improvement for before then she only spoke with Charles. He says they also speak in their minds like Jean and Scott, with him doing all the work of course. Thats nice, she frowned as she went on. Shes still afraid of Black Thunder though. Cant be in the same room as him so they try to avoid each other. Xavier doesnt care much for him either, and never will I fear. Though hes always coldly polite towards him, worry lines were in her face. Things hadnt been easy since they had returned home. BT was still not accepted by most of the others, creating fights, arguments and everything in between. Not only between BT and the others, but also between her and BT when his frustration and helplessness exploded. She had few supporters on her relationship with him; many thought it was because she needed a support in this hard time and that she had grown unnaturally attached to him, as he had been the one to rescue her. Even Xavier had warned her about it, saying she did possess some Stockholm like symptoms. It hadnt helped her in her grief and pain to also be confused about her feelings; wondering if they were real or not. However, time had made it a little better. As the others slowly began to heal, their distrust and hate grew more silent. The world didnt stop because they had been through Hell and so they had fallen into an almost normal everyday life; the normality of it all having annoyed Ororo, Jean and some of the others it was as if their ordeal had never happened.
Her reaction is quite understandable, of course, she admitted, knowing what BT had done to her. Still, it hadnt been him not the man she loved. Yes, she did love him. In the confusion and pain in her mind she needed that, needed love and the assurance that it really was love she was feeling. After some minutes of dark thoughts on the authenticity of her own feelings and memories of her days as a slave she then smiled brilliantly at Remy, or rather the headstone.
Black Thunder proposed. We have set the date for next Wednesday, it would be nice to be married, to feel something was safe and normal and simply always there. I would have liked you be have been there, she admitted, her smile fading. Her inability to let Remy go had also put a strain on her relationship with BT but he had been patient and tried to help, giving her the space she needed. She had come to the conclusion that even if what she felt wasnt true and undying love then it was something that helped her remain calm and sane in a world which had suddenly crashed down upon her and as such something she didnt want to left go of. Well have two ceremonies. First a Native one and then one for me, receiving the Goddess blessing, she continued, imagining the ceremonies done in a beautifully decorated flowery garden as they had agreed on. She sat in silence for a while, wrapped in her happiness over this event and how she imagined it would be. Only one large dark cloud loomed; Remy wouldnt be there.
John and Cecilia will marry this spring, she told him, trying to drive away the returning dark clouds. Since Remys death her fight against her own darkness had been one of her hardest battles. She is pregnant and they want to marry before the baby is born. Cecilia says itll be a girl, Ororo smiled at that; she had always loved children. Maybe BT would grant her children one day; he had said he would love to and that having her own child might help her fight her sadness in the light of the love for a child. They will move out of the Mansion. Cecilia has gotten a good job in Washington. I fear we will not see them so much but they will try and make it for the holidays although with Cecilia being a Doctor and all it is not certain shell be able to make it, Ororo was glad for them but sad to see them leave. She hadnt been sure their relationship would last out in the real world. As captors, they had taken whatever happiness they could get and no one had judged them. Out here the world would condemn their relationship on account of the large age difference between them. They had had many bumps in their relationship; Cecilia had felt guilty, John had felt inadequate and their frustrations, fears and doubts had fuelled large arguments. In the end though they had realised what they had was a true thing, something they didnt want to lose. Even knowing it wouldnt be an easy ride they had sworn never to be torn apart again.
Things are slowly returning to normal. Well, a new kind of normal. Eric comes often to visit Charles. I doubt well fight him again. He and Charles have reached an agreement. Charles will look the other way when Eric goes after anti-mutant fanatics, and Eric will not kill innocents, strange how used they had all gotten to Erics presence. Since Xaviers return the older man had also seemed milder, more aware that he could lose his beloved friend and so their arguments almost always ended in compromises. Scott is learning how to get by with only one eye and seems to be slowly working through his torture. He has put much of his energy into helping torture victims and has spoken up for an official involvement from the Government against Genosha. He has even mentioned the idea for going into politics, saying that is the way to really change things for the better, she smiled at that. One had to admire his strength and determination though she also knew and thought he did too that his almost fanatic interest in his work, to help others like him and end the terror reign on Genosha was his way of dealing with it all. He and Logan have grown much closer, almost like brothers, as if a special bond have connected them to each other through their shared ordeal, she grew thoughtful. I think they may discuss the things that happened at Genosha with each other. She was happy at the thought that her friends could find some sense of peace together as they hadnt discussed it with any one else. Maybe because of that the group of X-men still remained torn; those who had been left behind turned to Alex for advice and leadership while the former slaves still looked to Scott. There was an understanding of each others pain, a great respect and love through shared experiences that only existed within the groups. In their pain many of the X-men who had been captured had had a hard time offering support to the ones who had been left behind. Though they hadnt been slaves they had been through an emotional Hell, which was just as hard for them to work through. Maybe in time when their wounds werent so fresh the group would grew back into one but for now it was and remained split, one lead by Alex and the other by his brother with the council of Xavier and with Logan as his right hand man. Both groups stood strong and dealt with things their own way. There was only love between the groups but a great lack of understanding and ability to open up about their pains and fears kept them apart all the same. Ororo hoped that in the future when time had healed them better they could close that gap between them again. For now though it was okay as it was; they were safe and they were all okay all save Remy.
You probably want to hear about Rogue. Shes doing fine, Ororo quickly assured him as if to calm him. As I told you, she and Logan now live together but Rogue will not marry yet. Shell search for a cure against her mutation first, saying its not fair for Logan to marry a woman he can never touch, Ororos voice became sad. I fear shell never find it. Rogues pain over her own mutation had grown since she had returned. In Genosha she had felt what it was like to touch, truly touch, been reminded of it, been given hope and then to have it taken so brutally away. Besides a cure, they had all also tried to get their hands on a Genoshian collar so she could touch people when wearing it as it neutralized her powers, but so far they hadnt gotten one. Gonosha was a closed land so nothing came in or out. Everyone, especially Logan, had been sad and unhappy that in their eagerness to escape none of them had thought of bringing a collar back with them for Rogue. Still she had a bad feeling that Logan could talk Scott into doing something drastic for love she just hoped it wasnt what she feared.
She shook her fears off her and looked at the headstone, letting her fingers caress his name on it.
She still has your powers. The professor says she has gotten them permanently. I kind of like it. It is like you never really left. Youre still here. With me. In some way, her voice was warm but sad. Not only sad over the loss of Remy and the bittersweet reminder Rogue now was to them all but also because the fact that Rogue had Remys powers was something Logan had had a hard time dealing with. Knowing of Remys love for Rogue and then added that she refused his marriage proposal even though he knew she did it out of love for him Logan still had a hard time adjusting to it all, by nature being as protective as he was possessive.
Ororo sat in silence by Remys grave until she heard Jeans mental call to please come for breakfast. She stood and kneeled by the headstone.
I still miss you every day, my beloved friend. I will always love you. I pray you remember that where ever you are, with tears glimmering in her eyes, she kissed the headstone gently and walked away.
The wind blew softly over the land as Ororo walked over the grass towards the mansion. Black Thunder met her half way and took her in his arms, kissing her softly on the lips before taking her hand and they walked towards the Mansion in silence, him respecting her need to settle down a little after her morning talk with Remy.
Ororo looked around and up at the sky, seeing the sun beginning to rise and bathe everything in a warm light. It was going to be a beautiful day. A day to try and heal wounds and start over. A day to honour the dead and try to move on. A day to cry and a day to love. This was the day. And the most wonderful thing was .it was another day in freedom!
Authors notes: Wow. What a ride. This has been my longest ongoing fic ever. I started it sometime back in 2001 I believe so it has been a part of my life for quite some time. Now that its done its a bit strange to think about.
Okay, enough reflecting. I have a long list of people to thank here: Sorcieré for simply being my angel and for being so into this fic she wrote a chapter for it, the wonderful people over at DDFH who have always treated me kindly, all the great people who kindly gave me FB and reviews; that means so much to me. Thanks to my different betas who have worked with this and helped improve my writing. Special thanks to Cathain for great beta on this and earlier parts.
Many thanks to Marianne for inspiring me to write this, encouraging me to continue it and for the read through and kind suggestions.
Thank you all so much. I couldnt have done it without you!
Someone asked about a sequel to this Well, I dont have one under way but if people seem interested and/or inspire me I cant deny it could happen.
I hope youve all enjoyed the story and have had some nice reading hours with it.