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Fic: "Trapped In Darkness" R (30/?) [L/R, S/J]

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  • Nadja Lee
    Hi all, You should know how this goes by now.... Earlier chapters can be read here: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=391378 or at my webpage. [
    Message 1 of 1 , Aug 30 2:37 AM
      Hi all,

      You should know how this goes by now....
      Earlier chapters can be read here:
      http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=391378 or at my
      [ http://www.dreamwater.org/scottsummers/index.html ]


      Part 30:

      “Dear friends, we are gathered here today to say the last farewell to a beloved friend, Remy LeBeau,” Kurt began as they were all gathered around the grave they had made for their friend behind the mansion. They all knew Remy had been a faithful Catholic so they had requested his priest to bless the area so he would lay in consecrated soil for his final sleep.

      It was three days since they had escaped, three days since Remy’s death. Those three days had been gloomy and dark, filled with suppressed emotions and tempers flying high. Scott had been very guilt ridden, Ororo trapped in her grief and everyone else overwhelmed by their own sadness and depression. Logan chose to express his anger in violence as he often did, resulting in many episodes, especially with BT who he had also ended up in a fight with. A fight he would have won if they hadn’t been pulled apart.

      While Cecelia had been silently accepted into the group, and Gabrielle also, BT remained an outsider. Some avoided him, some only hinted their hate and distrust while Logan spoke of it quite clearly as did Emma, Eric and some of the others. Though Xavier and Scott had expressed thanks and acceptance and said BT could stay with them, only Ororo seemed to truly accept him. BT began more and more to consider leaving but, he had no means and nowhere to go. Besides he didn’t want to leave without Ororo, and she wouldn’t leave her friends. The last few days had been Hell on them all, but BT had felt like those first days in freedom had been worse than many months of slavery. Then he had known how to react, where his place was. Here he was among people who more or less disliked him with no rights or status. It was uncomfortable to say the least. Jean had sensed his distress and had told him that with time he’ll find his place. Not so sure about that as she sounded he had thanked her none the less, making sure never to touch her in fear of how she or Scott would react to that and not wanting them to have more reasons than they already had to get rid of him.

      BT slept very little in those nights as did all the others, but while the others insomnia was due to Hellish nightmares of their captivity or the pain of losing their young their friend, BT worried for a knife in the back. The three days preceding the funeral had passed silently - yet loudly that way for them all, seemly all the same, going through daily chores in a state of shock and haze of sorrow and pain.

      It was early in the morning that they had all gone out to Remy’s grave. The coffin had been lowered and the grave covered with soil in silence the evening before with only Scott, Xavier and Ororo there. The freshness of the grave alone was heartbreaking but the freshness in the air from the night’s rain, the smell of wild flowers that grew around the grave combined with the first rays of the rising sun as it hit Remy’s headstone was enough to make most of the gathered people get tears in their eyes. Though even standing around the grave the group stood divided; the rescuers stood around Alex and Lorna, as knights protecting a valued King, Xavier and Scott carried Alex’s role around the former prisoners though some stood even further apart. Cecelia and John stood close to Xavier but still had some privacy; it was BT and Ororo who stood alone, between the two main groups, belonging to neither. Even in their grief Scott, Jean and Xavier seemed to notice and Jean tried to get Ororo to stand beside her, not missing her husband’s worried thoughts that even though the X-men had finally been reassembled they could be forever divided.

      Everyone’s attention was brought back to Kurt from whatever dark thoughts had occupied them. He began to preach, trying to offer a comfort that none of them felt. He urged them to keep having faith even though life had dealt them all some hard blows, but he could see he had lost some of them to bitterness over the pain and death that had dominated their life for what had felt like forever. Still, he kept his hopes up. He knew that he could reach many of them and he fought to do so; to give comfort to the disillusioned and grieving group. Ororo was crying softly, all dressed in black, Black Thunder’s arm around her shoulder as they stood alone. Ororo was too caught up in her grief to care or much notice her separation from the others, only seeking what comfort she could. BT stood tall, meeting everyone’s glances with a hard and calm look, his eyes dry but his face softened with compassion when he looked at the woman by his side, his arm around her strong and as protective as it was possessive; she was all he had left.

      Kitty had tears on her cheeks as she leaned against Peter, one hand holding his and the other lay on her growing stomach, finding hope in the depth of her sadness. The rest of the gathered people also wore sad faces, many of them crying and sought comfort in a lover’s arms. For this day, Charles had invited Eric to share in the ceremony and he had come with Mystique. He now stood by Charles wheelchair, one hand on his old friend’s shoulder, Mystique just behind him. Gabrielle stood on the other side of Charles and held his hand.

      “He was a great man. He saved ma life,” Rogue whispered against Logan’s chest and he tightened his arms around her, his lips softly touching the top of her hair to try and offer her support and comfort.

      “He was the finest of us all. He was my friend and my brother,” Ororo said softly, tears making her voice weak and almost inaudible. Though never hers by blood in any way, she had loved him so deeply he had become an inseparable part of her as if he had been. Though they weren’t inseparable anymore. The pain of that reality hurt her worse than any wound ever had.

      “He is at peace now. With God in a better place,” Kurt said warmly, his hand with the Bible waving mildly at her as if he wanted her to start reading in it here and now.

      “He gave his life for what he believed in. What meant the most to him,” Scott whispered sadly, guilt and pain clear in his voice. ‘If only’ and ‘what if’s had tormented him since Remy’s death and he feared they always would.

      “The dream,” Jean said softly and squeezed his hand, through their bond knowing his sadness. Scott shook his head.

      “No. Love,” he explained and silence fell over the grief stuck friends. For a moment it was as if they weren’t sure how to end it, how to leave Remy’s gravesite with any kind of closure. Then Ororo’s voice was heard, broken and tear filled but she came through;

      Amazing grace! how sweet the sound
      That sav'd a wretch like me!
      I once was lost, but now am found,
      Was blind, but now I see.

      She sung quite well but tears mumbled her voice. It didn’t ruin the effect she was trying to make though; on the contrary. BT didn’t know the song but tried to mumble along with it as she started again. Scott’s deep voice sang with her, clear and strong, knowing the song by heart;

      'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
      And grace my fears reliev'd;
      How precious did that grace appear,
      The hour I first believ'd!

      When they started at the next part, all sang with them, tears clear in the song but with such intensity, such need for relief as had never been heard before;

      Thro' many dangers, toils and snares,
      I have already come;
      'Tis grace has brought me safe thus far,
      And grace will lead me home.

      The Lord has promis'd good to me,
      His word my hope secures;
      He will my shield and portion be,
      As long as life endures.

      Many voices broke down and faded away, dissolved into tears that stole their breath as those who remained started again;

      Yes, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
      And mortal life shall cease;
      I shall possess, within the veil,
      A life of joy and peace.

      The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
      The sun forbear to shine;
      But God, who call'd me here below,
      Will be forever mine.

      The song died out, leaving trails of tears on almost everyone’s cheeks. Silence settled again but some of the desperation in their pain had left with the song. Slowly Ororo went forth to stand before Remy’s gravestone and read the inscription given him out loud:

      “Here lies Remy “Gambit” LeBeau Monroe.

      Beloved brother, friend and team-mate.

      He gave his life so others could live.

      May he find eternal peace and joy in a better world far from here.“

      She smiled bittersweetly at seeing her name added to his; family in everything but blood and she was warmed to see her friends had acknowledged the deep bond she had shared with him. Black Thunder went to her as she kissed the small, simple, exotic and snow-white flower that she had brought with her. The most treasured flower in her greenhouse, she had cut it this morning to give it to her most treasured friend. Now she laid it on her friend’s headstone, before turning to go, not having the strength to stay any longer.

      Having seen Ororo cut the flower and hearing she would give Remy something with him in death BT had wondered what he could and should do. As Remy had meant a lot to Ororo, he had decided to give the brave boy something as well. Without means all BT really owned was the clothes and weapons he had escaped with so he gave what he had that he could do without; a small skin bag he had made years ago. He laid it on Remy’s headstone and whispered;

      “For the bravest warrior,” before returning to the mansion with Ororo. Logan went with Rogue up to stand at the foot of Remy’s gravestone, at the spot Ororo and BT had just left. Rogue cried and laid a small red heart made from the same material as Scott’s glasses on the soil below his headstone.

      “So my heart will always be with you,” she whispered and left. Logan didn’t cry and only people who knew him well could tell about the sadness he carried with him. Not one for words, hints or games he bent down before the gravestone and popped his claws. Below the inscription, he carved only one word yet it said all. He wrote simply “Hero” before going away with Rogue.

      Betsy and Angel lay a big and very expensive bouquet of flowers before leaving for Angel’s Manhattan apartment. Alex and Lorna lay a small medal of gold they had made for him on his headstone.

      “For a friend,” Alex whispered as they left. Charles came forth with Gabrielle on one side, Eric on the other and Mystique going a little off to one side of Eric. Charles placed a small miniature figure of the Mansion at his gravestone.

      “So you’ll always have a home,” Charles whispered and left with Gabrielle. Magneto said softly;

      “Your death will be avenged,” before going after Charles with Mystique. Kurt went to Remy’s gravestone, laid one hand on the Bible he held in the other and said solemnly;

      “The Lord will be with you. Always. Rest in peace,” before going away.

      Hank and Emma lay a nice bequest of flowers and left for the Mansion.

      Jubilee and Bobby placed an ice sculpture of Remy that Bobby had made and it stood inside a small cooled container so it wouldn’t melt. Cecilia and John lay red roses,

      “They reflect the love in your heart,” Cecilia said before she took John’s hand and they left together.

      Kitty and Peter went to his grave and lay a packet of playing cards.

      “We’ll name our firstborn after you if it’s a boy,” Kitty promised and broke down crying.

      “Come, Katya,” Peter said gently and lead her away.

      Soon only Scott and Jean were left. They went to the stone and Jean laid their flowers before turning to her husband.

      “You coming, love?” she asked gently.

      “In a minute,” he promised and she placed a soft kiss to his cheek before going to the Mansion. Scott stood before Remy’s grave for a long while, fighting to keep tears at bay. He couldn’t shake his guilt over Remy’s death even though he knew it had been his choice to make. Thoughts and memories clouded his mind until finally after what felt like forever Scott lifted his glasses and opened his eyes. With careful precision he craved words into the headstone. Scott let a hand run over the stone as he left. He looked back once to look at the inscription at the stone they had all made for their beloved fallen comrade who had paid for their freedom with the ultimate price;

      “Here lies Remy “Gambit” LeBeau Monroe.

      Beloved brother, friend and team-mate.

      He gave his life so others could live.

      May he find eternal peace and joy in a better world far from here.


      Adieu, ami aimé. Votre lumière grillent bien plus tôt que votre volonté de légende jamais

      Scott’s message was the last and craved with care and love. As he left the graveside it began to rain like Heaven itself was in mourning.


      Scott’s message for Remy was written in French. It translates into: ” Farewell, beloved friend. Your light burned out far sooner than your legend ever will”

      Author’s notes: See the beginning of this story for disclaimer; also on this song, which is “Amazing Grace” by John Newton. Thanks to Estelle for help with the French. Thanks so much to Cathain for great beta! You’re the greatest!
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