FIC: Grief and Comfort, X2, Scott/Ororo, NC-17
- Title: Grief and Comfort
Fandom: X-men movieverse, post X2.
Pairing: Scott/Ororo, reference to Scott/Jean
Disclaimer: Marvel and 20th Century Fox own them, I don't own
anything but this story idea. Please don't sue.
Summary: Scott mourns Jean's death, and Ororo is there to comfort
Archive: List archives, feel free to have it, and my own site,
http://www.geocities.com/henrika_amanda/Index.html Others, please
Feedback: Please, that would make my day, but don't flame me if
don't like this pairing. Constructive criticism welcome. My email
A/N & Warnings: This is my first Scott/Ororo fic. I might continue
this fic, especially if I get positive feedback from you guys. No
real warnings, I guess... A good deal of angst and a wee bit of m/f
sex, but probably nothing you haven't read before. Spoilers for
of course, so don't read this if you haven't seen the movie.
Ororo was feeling weary. She often did these days. Jean's death
still so close, and it affected everyone in a negative way. Ororo
grieved for the loss of her best friend, and missed her presence at
the mansion every day, but as she knew, it was even worse for Scott.
Jean had been his fiancée after all, his lover, companion and
The love of his life. Losing her had been hard on him. More and more
often Scott complained over headache and asked someone else
Ororo to take his classes so he could go to his room and rest.
Ororo no longer believed him every time he said he had a headache,
but she never objected and always did what he asked without
questions. He was her friend, and she felt she had to try being there
for him when he needed her. He never cried so others could see it,
although the professor encouraged him to "let it out". No one
believe him weak if he did; it would only be human. Even the most
fearless leader had the right to be human.
But Scott just shook his head with a dogged expression. "No, I
cry," he claimed.
Charles could feel his pain, but never pressed him further. Scott
dealt with his pain in his own way, and if he wanted to keep it all
within himself, it was his choice.
It was difficult for Ororo to know how Charles handled the loss of
Jean. She had been one of his first students, as dear to him as Scott
and Ororo herself were, almost like a daughter. He *felt* normal when
one talked to him, but in private... one could never know.
Logan was his usual gruff, macho type, and although he had chosen to
stay at the mansion this time, he spent much time out. He and Scott
no longer picked at each other, but seemed to have reached a silent
understanding. They hardly spoke, but at least they greeted each
other when they met in the hallway. Always something.
Ororo had to take more than twice as many classes now when Jean was
gone, and Scott was unable to attend. She was a strong woman, but the
new time schedule wore her out, although she hadn't the heart to
complain. After the long workdays she was often so tired, that she
went straight to bed and slept until her alarm clock woke her up in
Maybe people saw that she was overstraining herself, but maybe
everyone was too busy to notice. In either case, it was the same. The
kids came first, and Ororo was responsible for them, which was a duty
she couldn't fail. That would have been like failing Jean.
Scott is failing Jean, she thought one evening. I am sure she
wished him to hide in a shell within himself like he does. She would
have wanted him to move on, to remember her, sure, but not to drown
in his grief.
She decided to go down to the mansion's Jacuzzi for a while, and
relax. She didn't get many opportunities to relax these days, and
to use those she got.
Ororo brought a towel and slowly and silently made her way through
the mansion toward the swimming pool in the sub level. She walked
past Cerebro, the science lab, and, of course, the med-lab, now
always sadly empty when Jean was no longer around in her glasses and
Ororo felt a sting in her heart when she saw the closed door, and
forced herself to continue. Tears had begun to itch in her eyes, and
she blinked them away. The Jacuzzi. Right.
She turned on the hot tub and waited for the water to start bubbling.
Ororo undressed. She didn't bring any bathing suit, since she
swam and bathed naked. While living in Kenya, bathing clothes had
never been an issue, and the habit had followed her into the States.
She wasn't sure whether it was a bad habit or not, but she felt
comfortable with it, and so be it.
Sighing, Ororo sank down in the hot, stirring water and let it caress
her aching body. Slowly her tense muscles started to relax and
soften, and she closed her eyes and leaned back against the edge,
stretching out her arms on the sides. She regretted that she
stuffed her hair into a bun, for she didn't want to wet it. She
probably go to bed soon after this, and it took forever to get her
Never mind. That's why God created hairdryers, right? Ororo
She hadn't been down here for so long, and decided to enjoy every
minute of her time.
Suddenly she could hear the sounds of steps advancing toward the
Jacuzzi. Ororo winced and her eyes fluttered open at once. She really
hadn't expected anyone else to come down here this late at night,
was therefore surprised and also a little startled.
When she opened her eyes she saw the last person she'd expected
see; Scott. Judging from the look on his face, he was as surprised to
see her here.
"Ororo..." he murmured, sounding troubled. "So you're
"Yes," Ororo replied. "Obviously I am. Are you're
here as well."
"If you wonder why, I've just had a long work out, and
relax in the Jacuzzi for a while, but if I'm disturbing
"No!" Ororo called reflexively, "I mean... no, you're
me... By all means, come and have a seat."
She could feel a flush creeping into her face and didn't know
do to hide it. That she was naked didn't bother her, but she had
admit seeing Scott wearing only swimming trunks did. He had an almost
perfect body; tall, fit, athletic... not massive like Logan's,
still muscular... And then he was Scott Summers.
Ororo had never admitted it to anyone, not even herself, but for many
years she had been secretly in love with Scott. Her best friend's
boyfriend. She had kept it all to herself, and never displayed any
such feelings. Both Jean and Scott were her friends, and she felt
ashamed for wanting him. He was happy with Jean, and she wanted him
to be happy. As well as Jean.
But now Jean was dead. And Scott was alone, and all but happy. He was
heartbroken. The grief was still so near, and finding out that Ororo,
his friend and teammate, thought of him like that could either have a
positive or devastating effect on him. Anyway, this wasn't the
to reveal such a thing. Ororo would never think of trying to steal
her dead friend's boyfriend. Not now, and probably not ever.
"Are you sure?" Scott asked.
"Of course. It will just be nice to get some company," Ororo
him and gave him a friendly smile. She was a little afraid that
something in her behaviour would reveal her secret, but it would seem
odd if she left now or asked him to leave.
Scott lowered his body into the Jacuzzi and settled about two feet
away from her, which was close enough to affect Ororo.
He couldn't help thinking of Jean, and how often they had gone
sometimes late in the evening or early in the morning, when no one
else was here, and enjoyed being alone with each other. A couple of
times they had made love in the Jacuzzi, mostly to try how it was to
have sex in the water, and it had been good. No, more than good.
Exquisite. Everything about Jean had been that.
He threw a quick glance at Ororo. She wore no bikini top, and
probably no lower part either. That meant she was naked. Damn! Why
didn't he see that before? That water sure concealed everything
her shoulders, but still, knowing that a naked woman was sitting at
such a small distance from him, made him feel uncomfortable. Scott
squirmed and thought about leaving, but that might hurt Ororo, so he
"How are you?" she asked him, concerned. "You look so
"It's nothing..." Scott murmured. "I'm fine."
"If there's anything I can do to help, then let me know,"
And she meant it. Helping Scott was something she was always ready
"Thanks, `Roro," he replied, and the ghost of a smile
appeared on his
Ororo couldn't recall she had seen Scott smile since Jean died at
"You miss her a lot, don't you?" she asked
"Yes," Scott nodded. "I really do."
"I miss her too. She was my best friend."
"If you'd like to talk about her, or anything, I'll be
listen," she offered, hoping to get him to open up a bit. But
the professor hadn't succeeded, so she wasn't very hopeful.
Scott was silent for a while, but then he said, "I still
believe she's dead. Every morning when I wake up, I expect to see
lying next to me in the bed. And every time it hurts so much when I
remember that she... won't be there. Ever."
Scott turned his pained face away from her, and could feel tears
burning behind his ruby-red glasses. He continued, but without
looking at her, "When I go down town, I always see people, women,
that look exactly like her from behind. Whenever I see someone who
looks like her disappear behind a corner, I feel like running there
to check if it's Jean."
He sighed. "I know that's silly, but I suppose a part of me
accept that she's gone."
"No, that isn't silly," Ororo said softly. "I
understand how you
feel. I miss her too. And I still wonder every day, if there could
have been something that I we could have done to save
"I know," Scott said. "I can't let it go myself."
"Don't blame yourself, Scott. You couldn't have done more
"I suppose so, but...." Scott murmured.
"Have you talked to Charles? Maybe he could help you come to
with this?" Ororo asked.
"No," Scott shook his head, determined. "I have to deal
with this on
"Accepting help doesn't make you weak. Honestly," she
don't think Jean would have wanted you to fall out like this. She
would have wanted you to move on. She is gone, Scott. Your grief, my
grief... nothing can bring her back."
Scott didn't answer. Ororo was so right, and deep down inside he
it, and wanted to agree, but...
Two months had passed since Jean's death, and Scott had to admit
there were better ways to deal with the grief than his was. He had
basically withdrawn into himself, and made his own life, and the life
of is friends and teammates, very difficult. Ororo and Charles had
had to take over his classes, and he had almost forgotten about his
responsibilities and the students.
I mustn't neglect my duties like this, he thought. Jean died, I
alive. I have to accept it. She is not coming back.
"You're right," he sighed. "I have to accept that...
that she... that
Scott couldn't finish his sentence. He did something he
since Jean died he cried. Sobbing he buried his face in his
and murmured something incoherent about Jean.
Ororo was hesitant for a second, but she quickly overcame it, and
reached out to take Scott in her arms. He gratefully accepted her
embrace and leaned against her as he cried and released what he'd
been holding back for two months. It was quite a lot. To begin with
he simply cried and clutched her closer, desperate for contact. She
comforted him to the best of her ability, murmuring softly, and
soothingly stroking his hair.
Later his tears dried up and empty sobs were all that remained. Ororo
still held him close, and when he had gotten over the worst, he
slowly got aware of what was actually happening. The fragrant scent
of her womanly body reached his nose, and he could feel her nudity
against his own, almost naked body. His head was almost between her
soft, firm breasts, and he was holding his arms around her waist. Oh,
God. No, not now! Scott had been mostly asexual since Jean's
and sexual activities had never even crossed his mind, because he had
simply not allowed them to. That would have been like cheating on
Now he could feel his penis starting to stiffen in his swimming
trunks, and suddenly it was pressing against Ororo's inner thigh.
Scott couldn't help it. He jerked. The sensation that came over
was just too overwhelming and sudden, and he didn't know how to
handle it. So he did what was simplest trying to escape.
He pulled away from her tight embrace, his face flushed and heart
pumping like after an hour of intense exercising.
"I'm sorry, Ororo," he whispered. "I don't know
what came over me.
Please, forgive me. I'll... I'll leave now... Thanks for
He started to rise from the Jacuzzi, but Ororo seized his wrist and
stopped him. "Scott," she said. "That's nothing to be
Please don't leave."
He looked back at her beautiful, honest, sympathetic face, noticing
the hurt expression there, and hesitantly sank back beside her. His
erection hadn't gone away; on the contrary, Ororo's presence
grow further. Luckily they were in the water, so she couldn't see
He knew that she knew anyway, though.
Ororo had noticed what happened with Scott, and she had responded the
same way. A familiar burning heat had formed in her crotch, and it
would certainly remain there as long as Scott stayed close. And she
wanted him to.
"I'm sorry, `Ro," he said again. "I didn't
"No," she said, "don't be."
Scott looked at her. "I wasn't trying to take advantage of
anything, it just..."
Ororo put her finger over Scott's lips. "Hush," she said.
apologizing. It's a natural feeling. I'm sorry if this is too
personal, but you haven't... had anyone since Jean, have you?"
Scott looked surprised. "No, of course not. I haven't even
things like sex."
"Because you're still feeling faithful to Jean, right?"
"I suppose so, but..."
"I understand. But Jean is dead, Scott. I know you still feel
committed to her, but you can't live in celibacy for the rest of
"Do you think Jean would want that?"
Scott went silent. No, he didn't think Jean would want him to
a monk after her death. That was just something he had put into his
own head. He couldn't deny that the closeness to Ororo had
desire in him, but could he really do what his body was urging?
Ororo was a beautiful and loving woman, but she was also his friend,
and he didn't want to ruin that. Ororo was the only real *friend*
had ever had, besides Jean and Charles, someone who had always been
there for him. He wasn't sure if he wanted to risk that by taking
as a lover.
Ororo gently brushed Scott's hair back. "You know, I probably
shouldn't be telling this, but I really want you, more than as a
friend. If that's not what you want, you can tell me now. I
hurt. We can always continue as friends."
"I do want you," Scott said. "May God and Jean
forgive me, but I
Ororo smiled. "We can go slow at first. Will you let me hold you
"Sure, I...would like that."
He slowly leaned into her embrace again, and she guided his head to
her shoulder, and let him rest it there. Scott kissed the soft skin
of her throat and tentatively placed his hand on her thigh. His hand
became warm, and so did the blood that pooled in his groin. He felt a
strong urge to move his hand upwards, and touch her between her legs,
but he didn't want to scare Ororo by being too hasty.
She caressed his firm muscles and enjoyed feeling his body against
her own. She could hardly believe what was happening, and a part of
her felt guilty for what they were doing. Making love to Scott now,
would be like laughing on Jean's funeral, she thought, and she
like that. But Jean *was* gone, and although she'd always be
and never forgotten, they couldn't keep pretending like she was
with them. And she was glad Scott had finally realized this.
It didn't take long before their lips met in a kiss. Ororo opened
mouth and allowed Scott access, and he did the same for her. They
began to explore each other's bodies with their hands, and Ororo
gasped when Scott's hand found her breasts and the touch burned
She passed her hand over his flat washboard stomach, and gripped his
erection through the fabric of his trunks. Scott moaned into her
mouth, seemingly liking the touch. She sneaked her hand inside them,
and began to fondle his erect penis with her delicate hand. His flesh
was heated, and suddenly she felt how much she wanted it inside her.
Scott slid out of his trunks, and placed them on the edge. It was a
great feeling to get rid of them, and let his erection spring free.
Ororo was still stroking it, and Scott returned her caresses with a
passion he had almost forgotten existed.
Ororo slid on top of him, still kissing him, and straddled his
pelvis. The tip of his hot erection brushed her swollen folds, and
she almost impaled herself on him right then. But Scott held her back.
"What is wrong?" Ororo asked, dazed with passion.
"Nothing, I just... don't want this to happen *here*. A first
should be perfect. Can we go to a bed instead?"
"Of course..." Ororo murmured. "Right now?"
"Yes, right now," Scott said, still as eager.
Ororo slid off of him, and stood up in the Jacuzzi. Scott admired her
chocolate-brown, firm silky body, enjoying the view before him in
full. He wondered how he could have failed to see Ororo's true
during all the years they'd spent here together. He supposed
taken her for granted. He didn't anymore. He still loved Jean,
would never stop loving her, but he and Ororo needed each other right
He rose as well, just in time to watch Ororo wipe herself with a
towel. She tied it around her body, not bothering to get dressed.
Scott could see that her gaze was fixed between his legs. His
erection had not flagged, and he was fairly well endowed, and he was
aware of this. Nothing to be ashamed of there.
Scott mimicked Ororo, and tied a towel around his waist as well. At
this time of night no one would be up to notice it.
They shared another hot kiss while standing on the floor, and then
they left quietly, holding each other's hands.
"Your room or mine?" Ororo asked while they stood in the
headed to ground level.
"Yours," Scott replied immediately. "I...I couldn't
do it in Jean's
and my bed," he explained. "Not now. It's too soon."
"I understand," Ororo said.
They encountered no one on their way to Ororo's room the
were probably all asleep, and the professor and the other adults had
gone to their rooms to sleep as well.
Ororo closed the door behind them and dropped her towel. Scott did
the same, and they united in another passionate kiss, wanting to
taste every inch of each other. Scott fondled Ororo's nipples
his fingers, drawing a moan out of her. He slowly kneeled in front of
her, licking her flat tummy and navel, and from there down to her
soft, white pubic hair.
"Ororo..." he whispered, kissing her tuft. He wanted to taste
beyond that, the very essence of her, and he wanted it *now*. Scott
rose to his full height - he was 6'1'', 7 inches taller than
and lifted her into his arms. She was light. Ororo wrapped her supple
arms around his neck and buried her face in the hollow of his neck as
he carried her to the bed and gently lowered her onto it.
After putting her on the bed, Scott lay down himself, pulling his
would-be lover into his arms again. Ororo's erect nipples rubbed
against his chest and her breasts were flattened when their embrace
Scott's heated member slid in between her thighs and nudged her
wet opening. Ororo clutched him close, and whispered in his
ear, "Please, Scott, in me... Now."
Scott pushed Ororo down onto her back, and spread her long graceful
legs. He brought down his hand before he penetrated her, and opened
her folds with his fingers. She felt no different from Jean, really;
or maybe she was tighter, much tighter, to be precise.
When Scott tried to push his fingers deeper into her channel, Ororo
suddenly winced from pain. Afraid to have hurt her, he drew his hand
back at once.
"Ororo?" he asked, concerned wrinkle between his brows.
"Did I hurt
Ororo bit her bottom lip, not really knowing how to frame her
sentence. "Scott..." she said slowly, "there is something
tell you... I'm a virgin," she finally said, waiting for his
"Really?" Scott asked, marveling at her words. "So you
She shook her head. "No. I always thought I'd save myself for
"Am I the right one?" Scott asked. "Are you really sure
you want to
go through with this?"
"Yes," Ororo said. "I do. You are the right one."
"I'll be gentle," he promised and kissed her softly as he
himself in a position to enter her.
Ororo leaned back against her pillows and tried to relax. She had
never been surer in her life, but still she couldn't help feeling
bit apprehensive. It might hurt a little, or even more than a little,
if you were unfortunate. She allowed Scott access to her most
sensitive parts, and closed her eyes when she felt his member
entering her channel.
She suppressed a shrill cry when he pierced through her hymen, and
buried her fingertips in his back muscles. He waited for her to
adjust to the feeling, and stayed completely still for a while.
"Are you okay, Ororo?" he whispered.
He could feel her nod against his shoulder. "Yes, you can do
Scott needed no further encouragement, and started to move inside her
gently. Ororo felt some pain to begin with, but the pain quickly
faded into pleasure, and she started gasping in rhythm with his
thrust, encouraging him to go faster and deeper.
He forgot to be careful when he noticed there was no need for it, and
slammed into Ororo with a forced he'd repressed for two months.
was careful not to hurt her, though, and would have slowed down if
she'd asked him to, but now it seemed like she was enjoying it,
Scott saw no reason to hold back. He didn't for a second forget
or his love for her Ororo, not Jean, Ororo, not Jean, Ororo...
echoed in Scott's head while he made love to Ororo. She would
replace Jean, but it was now obvious that Ororo had a place in his
life, as something more than his longtime friend.
Ororo cried out when she came, and Scott followed her shortly,
coating her inner walls with his white seed. He lay limp on top of
her for some time after the intense orgasm, and panted with his eyes
closed. He wished he could take his glasses off and let her see his
eyes, but that was, of course, impossible. He could see Ororo's
big, beautiful and dark, like a doe's eyes, and he could see love
"Schh..." she said, brushing his hair back from his forehead.
think we should sleep."
"Okay," he replied. Then he rolled off of her, still panting,
settled next to her. He was glad they hadn't gone to his room.
love to another woman in the bed he'd shared with Jean for so
years, would have felt like a blasphemous act. But now it didn't,
however; sex with Ororo had felt like creating life.
"Jean died, I didn't..." he murmured to himself.
"What?" Ororo asked sleepily.
"Nothing, `Roro," Scott replied and kissed the top of her
head. "Nothing at all. Let's go to sleep now."
Ororo leaned her head against Scott's shoulder and he put her
around her warm sated body, hugging her close. He had almost
forgotten how great it was to sleep with someone in his arms, and it
felt wonderful to renew the feeling.
"Good night," he whispered.
"Good night, Scott," Ororo whispered back. "I love
The words stung Scott's heart, and although he cared very much
Ororo, he could not return her words. Not yet, anyway. It was too
soon. In due time, perhaps.
"Schh..." he said. "Sleep now."
Ororo woke up in the morning, half past six, with Scott still in her
arms. He was still sleeping soundly; she could tell that by his
breaths, and she would let him sleep. Scott had probably not slept
properly since that terrible day at Alkali Lake, and he really needed
She didn't know how things would proceed from here, or how Scott
would fit into her life, but she was sure of one thing she
I'm so sorry, Jean, she thought. You know I love him. I hope you
It felt like she was speaking directly to Jean, even without mouthing
any words. They had often done this in the past, conversing with just
their minds, to practice Jean's telepathic abilities. Jean was
there to pick up her thoughts now, but she thought them anyway.
Scott didn't love her; Ororo knew this. He valued her, respected
and cared for her, but he didn't love her, not like he had loved
Jean. Ororo wondered if this was enough for her. If she accepted it,
and stayed in a relationship with Scott, it would eventually break
her heart to know that Scott didn't love her like she loved him.
Could he ever grow to love her? Pressing him now would only get
negative effects, since Jean's death was still so close. But in
future... No one knew the future, of course. One could just wait and
Ororo closed her eyes again and tried to go back to sleep, listening
to Scott's even breaths. Two minutes later the Weather Goddess