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FIC: The Silence Gets Us Nowhere R !!DARK, Abuse & Mention of Rape!! John(Pyro)

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  • emily_joyner
    Title: The Silence Gets Us Nowhere Author: EHJ2003 Email: Emily_joyner@ureach.com Summary: Sometimes, it s nurture and not nature that makes people who they
    Message 1 of 1 , Jun 27, 2003
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      Title: The Silence Gets Us Nowhere
      Author: EHJ2003
      Email: Emily_joyner@...
      Summary: Sometimes, it's nurture and not nature that makes
      people
      who they are.
      Universe: X-Men 2 Movieverse
      Type of Story: Standalone
      Rating: R (Abuse, Rape !!Not Detailed!!)
      Characters: Most all from the X-Men movies.
      Disclaimer: I don't own them, I only play with them…
      Additional Disclaimer: I'd like to think that I'm being
      original
      here, but more than likely I'm not. If anyone else has read
      anything
      like this, please let me know so that I can give credit where
      it's
      due!
      A/N: This is dark, and some may be offended by it. If you can't
      handle child abuse of any kind, then please, don't read this.
      Song fic: For You by Staind
      (Words in italics are song lyrics)




      The pain is sometimes too much to bear. Watching them, observing,
      always from a distance. He can't get too close, they'll see
      him.
      But still, it hurts. To see life going on, perhaps better now,
      without him. Did they miss him? Did they think about him? Would
      they understand his decision? His insecurities? Could they
      comprehend his intentions, his feelings of unworthiness?

      He sat there and remembered…

      He remembered his parents. He missed them sometimes. But his skin
      would also crawl. They had their issues, their problems. He would
      never understand how they could do the things they had done to him.
      He remembered the almost daily beatings from his father. He
      remembered one time when his father had beaten him so badly, he'd
      ended up with a broken arm and a dislocated jaw… all because
      he'd
      forgotten to let the dog out and she'd wet on the hall carpet.
      He
      remembered his mother screaming at him on his forth birthday, yelling
      that he was useless and she should have had an abortion, all because
      he spilt birthday punch on her pants. He remembered all of the
      beatings, the insults and curses, all of it.

      He remembered when his parents divorced after his eleventh birthday.
      Somehow, his father had gotten custody, even though he'd begged
      and
      pleaded to go with his grandparents. He remembered Joshua, the
      seventeen year old who "watched" him while his father worked.
      He
      remembered Joshua's ring cutting open the skin on the back of his
      head from the beating Joshua gave him until he finally submitted and
      pulled down his jeans, allowing Joshua access. He remembered the
      horror of the rape. The rapes, since he did it all the time. He
      remembered standing in front of the mirror in his bathroom after
      Joshua had molested him in the shower, looking at himself and holding
      the razor blade. And he remembered wondering if somehow he was
      making Joshua think he liked it, if the screams of "NO!"
      weren't
      enough. Was he giving off a vibe that he didn't know about? Did
      this mean he didn't like girls anymore? Why didn't his
      father DO
      something?!

      He remembered turning thirteen and Joshua being particularly brutal.
      He remembered running to his father, bleeding and crying, and telling
      him what was going on. He remembered his father sneering, saying,
      "I
      don't want no fag for a son! Get the hell away from me!" He
      remembered Joshua running up to them, a smirk on his face.

      He remembered the rage at the pain, the feeling of helplessness. He
      remembered watching his father light a cigarette and focusing on the
      flame from the lighter. He remembered feeling something shift inside
      of him, feeling the energy, the power, of that heat. And he remember
      focusing that awesome, pulsing feeling towards his father and Joshua.

      The next thing he remembered were the charred remains of two bodies
      being taken away. He remembered someone saying they were sorry about
      his father. He remembered an officer telling him that his mother was
      refusing to come and get him. She said she had her own life now and
      this was just too much of an inconvenience and a disruption for her.

      He remembered running the streets, desperate for food and shelter.
      He was always fighting off the advances of the other homeless men,
      protecting himself with the power within him. Some died, others
      merely wounded. And he remembered becoming almost lovers with the
      feeling of the heated power flowing through him.

      He remembered the X-men coming for him. Offering him a place to
      learn control of his `gift'. He only went because he was
      tired of
      running. He was tired of worrying about where his next meal was
      coming from.

      He remembered meeting all of the others. Bobby, Kitty, Jubilee, and
      later on, Marie. They all accepted him. No questions asked, no
      answers given. Sometimes he felt like he belonged, other times, he
      didn't. They all tried to pretend that their mutations
      didn't'
      exist. He reveled in his. It made him better, stronger, this power
      that he had. And he was always being told to stop. Again, he was
      being controlled. They made him feel like he was wrong for being to
      protect himself.

      He remembered making the choice and knowing that he could never take
      it back. He remembered the ridicule for missing them and for not
      wanting to harm innocent `humans'. He remembered
      Mystique's
      derogatory comments about his inexperience and his abilities.

      The pain is sometimes too much to bear. So, he watches. And
      remembers. He remembers it all. The insults, the curses, the pain,
      the acceptance, the feeling of belonging. But mostly John (no, his
      name is Pyro now) remembers his silence. The silence that got him
      nowhere.

      For You
      By Staind

      To my mother To my father
      It's your son or it's your daughter
      Are my screams loud enough for
      You to hear me? Should I turn this up for you?

      I sit here locked inside my head
      Remembering everything you've said
      The silence gets us nowhere,
      Gets us nowhere way too fast.

      The silence is what kills me
      I need someone here to help me
      But you don't know how to listen
      And let me make my decision

      I sit here locked inside my head
      Remembering everything you've said
      The silence gets us nowhere,
      Gets us nowhere way too fast.

      All your insults And your curses
      Make me feel like I'm not a person.
      And I feel like I am nothing.
      But you made me so do something.
      Cause I'm fucked up because you are
      I need attention, Attention you couldn't give.

      I sit here locked inside my head
      Remembering everything you've said
      The silence gets us nowhere,
      Gets us nowhere way too fast.

      I sit here locked inside my head
      Remembering everything you've said
      The silence gets us nowhere,
      Gets us nowhere way too fast.



      A/N: Whew! That one was hard to write, but I just had to! I know
      that it's somewhat A/U, but it's what I think could explain
      some of
      his actions, if you only had the movies to go by.
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