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"Bleak Desolation" Scott [PG-13] X2

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  • emily_joyner
    Bleak Desolation Type of Story: Series Rating: PG-13 (Language) Characters: Most all from the X-Men movies. Disclaimer: I don t own them, I only play with
    Message 1 of 1 , Jun 19, 2003
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      Bleak Desolation


      Type of Story: Series
      Rating: PG-13 (Language)
      Characters: Most all from the X-Men movies.
      Disclaimer: I don't own them, I only play with them…

      Additional Disclaimer: I'd like to think that I'm being
      original
      here, but more than likely I'm not. If anyone else has read
      anything
      like this, please let me know so that I can give credit where
      it's
      due!

      A/N: Once again, I believe I'm being original… But if I'm
      not, please
      let me know. There's nothing worse that plagiarism!!

      Song fic: Duende by Delerium

      (Words in italics are song lyrics)

      (Words in single ` quotes ` are first person… as if you
      couldn't
      figure that out')

      _____________________________________________________________________





      Bleak desolation

      In a beam of sun



      He wakes, squinting in the brightness of the morning's light. He
      feels the pain then. The ache of the emptiness that resides within
      himself. Residing where his heart should be. It's been like
      this
      forever it seems, although he knows in reality it's only been a
      short
      while. The loneliness haunts him, *in* him. He wonders if it will
      ever end. And he remembers…



      Scraping as I crawl

      (Your heart can't hear me)



      ` I try to get to you, but they hold me back. I scream out in
      anguish, in pain, but to no avail! `



      Tearing, bruising fall

      (Your hands can't hear me)



      ` I fall, trying to reach you. Ripping at the hands that hold me
      in
      place. `



      Thirsting, raging blind

      (Your eyes can't hear me)



      ` I'm desperate to see you, cursing at fate. Why?! Why
      would it do
      this to us?! *How* could it do this to us?! "



      Racing against time

      (Your arms can't hear me)



      ` And it's over… you're gone from me. That
      quickly… I don't
      understand. `



      Like an angel you'll come

      In a dream, Precious One

      (and)

      Make me beautifully numb



      He lives in dreams. She's always there. Her presence wrapping
      itself around him. It dulls the pain of her absence. Sleep…
      it's
      his preference now. Nothing hurts him.. *them* there. They are
      always young there, always beautiful, always together.



      Desperate, panicked calls

      (The wind can't hear me)



      ` I wake, crying out your name, but you never hear me. I hear
      the
      familiar tap on the door. She always comes. She offers her comfort
      and her friendship, never asking for more. She knows that I
      can't
      give it to her. Am I being selfish for taking and not giving?
      Maybe. But tonight, I need what only she can give me… safety and
      security from the darkness in my mind. `



      Muffled, weak and small

      (The sand can't hear me)



      ` I cry sometimes, the tears coming with no warning. She never
      minds. Her soft words and quiet actions offer more solace from the
      maelstrom of emotions than any counselor ever could. She understands.



      Pleading, groping hands

      (The truth can't hear me)



      ` I can't face it! I won't accept it! I hold out my
      hands, hoping
      to ward it off. But it won't stop, no matter how I plead, how I
      beg! `



      Bleeding in the sand

      (Your heart can't hear me)



      ` You're gone. `



      Bleak desolation

      In a beam of sun



      ` The truth bites. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

      Ignorance *is* bliss. `



      Like an angel you'll come

      In a dream, Blessed One

      (and)

      Make me joyfully numb



      She has been replaced in his dreams. He finds a different comfort
      now. The aching is replaced by need… a need to live. A need to
      feel. A need to *be*! And he's tormented each night… A
      feeling
      such as he has never felt before is beginning to develop.



      Razor fingers cling

      (The wind can't hear me)



      ` I want her. I need her. But I love you as well. And the pain
      of
      the choice is much like a knife my chest. I scream into the storm of
      my feelings, demanding an answer! "Why can't I have
      peace?!" `



      Piercing demons sing

      (The sand can't hear me)



      ` The fates once again laugh at me. She has told me that she
      can't
      be with me. She won't share me. She tells me that I must
      choose:
      her or you. `



      Twisting, hollow Hell

      (The truth can't hear me)



      ` The nights offer no comfort again. This Hell that is my
      slumber
      offers no rest. The dreams of you and her twisting together and
      melding, not allowing me any peace. What do I do, My Love? `



      Burning blisters swell

      (Your heart can't hear me)



      ` The pain becomes that of a fire, ever growing. The emptiness
      is
      back a thousand fold. The darkness swells within my mind once
      again. I need your love here to shelter me. I need her heart to
      guide me. But neither of you can hear me. `



      Sharp, cut, aching breath

      (Your arms can't hear me)



      ` I can't live like this anymore. I *won't* live like
      this anymore. `



      Choking scent of death

      (Your hands can't hear me)



      ` I smell the death coming, riding on the scent of iron. I
      choke,
      needing air. I pale, needing the blood rapidly leaving my body. I
      look down and her face swims before my vision and I know…
      you've
      helped me make my choice. You were never selfish. You always gave.
      Thank you.



      Grueling jaw-bone grind

      (Your eyes can't hear me)



      ` I have no strength left. I muster what bit of will I have left
      and
      yell for help, and I pray. Pray that I get through this so I can let
      her know. I *have* to let her know! `



      Cursed by my own mind

      (Your heart can't hear me)



      It's been six months since her tried to take his own life. Logan
      was
      the one who found him, alerted by the scent of his blood. They were
      barely able to save him, but he survived. When he finally regained
      consciousness, he immediately asked for her. She came.



      "I love you."

      "I know."



      And Scott smiled at Marie, finally knowing that he'd make it. He
      was
      going to be whole again, someday.
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