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Fic: "Trapped In Darkness" R (26/?) [Logan/Rogue, Scott/Jean]

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  • Nadja Lee
    Hi all, You should know how this goes by now.... Earlier chapters can be read here: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=391378 or at my webpage. [
    Message 1 of 1 , Jun 13, 2003
      Hi all,

      You should know how this goes by now....
      Earlier chapters can be read here:
      http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=391378 or at my webpage.
      [ http://www.dreamwater.org/scottsummers/index.html ]


      Part 26:

      Jean was on her knees, cleaning the already shinning marble floor in the palace but her thoughts were far away. They had been prisoners for six months now. Well, at least Scott had counted it to that. They had no watches and weren’t allowed to know the date so Scott had counted the days and Remy had made a small figure in the wall with Kitty’s hairpin for each day.

      Jean’s green eyes found Kitty and Rogue. Rogue seemed to be fine, considering the circumstances. The fact that she and Logan could barely keep their hands off each other probably had something to do with that happiness. She had tried to be happy for them but was still unable to look at them when they got a little too caught up in each other…it brought back memories she wished she could kill forever. However the other X-men were as considerate as possible and they would often stay in the main areas until just before ten, giving Logan and Rogue some privacy.

      Her thoughts found Scott as they often did. He had been so patient and kind through all this. She still hadn’t been able to let Scott do more than hold her and kiss her softly and briefly. If it went further than that she’ll feel her body stiffen and she’ll draw back. It wasn’t Scott’s fault, in their minds they both knew it but his heart sometimes had doubts when her body’s reaction betrayed her heart. He had only been sweet and understanding, never pushing though the feeling of helplessness he felt was driving him up the wall and that was frustrating for her as well. Sometimes she wished she could forget it all, at other times she really wished she could talk with someone about it. She couldn’t bring herself to tell Scott about what had happened though he had offered to listen…she just couldn’t do that. At times when he came back to her from a hard day’s work and looked exhausted she really wished she had control over her body; that she could comfort him with her touch but she couldn’t. She was afraid of something which were as alive as the man she loved every night in her nightmares. She just wasn’t ready. Not yet…maybe she never would be.

      Though as with everything the days did pass by and though she at times had thought she should die, had wished it at times, time truly were a great healer though a very very slow one. They had had their bad days, with her breaking down and crying over the smallest thing or suddenly yelling at Scott, saying things she quickly regretted. At first he wasn’t sure what to do, he wanted to take her in his arms but feared her reaction. However after an emotional outburst like that she felt like a balloon which all the air had suddenly gone out off; she had no energy left and he would take her in his arms and rock her gently back and forth as a father a child while he said he understood, that he would always be there for her, no matter what.

      Thinking about it all also brought back memories of her short pregnancy. She and Scott hadn’t had sex since before the rape so they had known it to be the guard’s child. Jean had shifted between wanting the child and feeling greatly repulsed by it and almost wanting to put a knife into her own belly to cut it out of her herself. Scott had asked what she wanted because he could live with both. She had seen both anger, regret, fear and a flicker of happiness in his eyes when she had told him about the child. They had discussed what to do long and hard. In the end the decision had been taken out of their hands when she miscarried soon after, the child barely recognisable as human. Through she hadn’t even decided if she wanted the child or not she had cried for it and had had a hard time being with Kitty since then and see her growing stomach. Cecilia had said the miscarriage had happened because she had been stressed, undernourished and overworked and had explained that miscarriages were very common around here though Jean still felt guilty; not only because she had lost the child but also because a part of her was happy that she had lost it.

      Thinking of Kitty…she worked close to her but with the help from Rogue and her they made sure she didn’t exhaust herself. Knowing she had probably lost her own child due to too hard work she and Rogue were even more watchful of Kitty. Peter was very excited about the child and last night he had woken them all up to tell that Kitty had felt the child move. However, both of the young soon to be parents were also fearful. There was a reason why there wasn’t a kindergarten in the compound.

      Jean’s thoughts moved on to her other friends. Jubilee, John and Xavier still worked at the hospital section. Scott had told Black Thunder of Jean’s own medical degree when she had carried the child to try and lighten her work but Black Thunder had said that if Jean went to work at the hospital then Xavier would be useless…and therefore terminated so Jean had stayed where she was. She hadn’t regretted that choice even though she knew that had she worked at the hospital, her child might could have been saved. Xavier himself was happier than ever though he still feared for them all. He often talked about a woman named Gabrielle who was at the hospital. He had been so happy when she had woken up and now they spent all his free time in the hospital together. She still didn’t talk but with signs and gestures the two communicated just fine. Logan had been mad at first to hear that Gabrielle was human. Jean could understand that.

      Scott had warned all to try and keep a low profile while they all still worked on a escape plan and most also had but Logan had a hot temper and had gotten into a few scratches. Once because some guards had looked lustfully at Rogue. He had gotten 10 lashes for that one. Then just the other day a guard had called him something, she didn’t even remember what anymore, that wasn’t too flattering and Logan had jumped the guard. Scott had interfered and tried to break them up in the hopes that the incident could somehow be calmed down which resulted in them both getting 20 lashes each which had been raised to 30 each when both Logan and Scott had tried to cover for each other by both claiming they attacked the guard alone.

      When Xavier had explained that Gabrielle had been part of a Genoshian resistance group which fought for a free for all country, including equal rights for mutants and humans, Logan and the others which had resented her had quickly forgotten their painfully earned distaste in humans for it hadn’t just been Logan who had had a problem with her being human and humans in general. After Jean’s rape Scott had felt the same way and now instead of trying to find a peaceful way out of this prison or a way which harmed as few guards as possible, he had with Remy and Logan spoken highly for a front attack at a weak point and then kill as many of the guards as possible.

      Jubilee and Bobby had grown closer and at night he’ll let an arm slip around her shoulders and she’ll lean against him but they’ll rather die than admit to that growing love of course. John was much harder to read but then he had always been hard to read for Jean…well, actually for them all. He was normally a very quiet young man and since one could now see Scott’s eyes John had become the most unreadable of them all. He had said one evening when they had all discussed escape plans that when they one day were to leave he’ll want the Doctor Cecilia with him. Scott had augured that if they were to escape together it was out of the way to reach Sick Bay first but John had been firm in his decision and Scott had given in.

      Jean sighed as she saw Black Thunder walk over the floor and disappear. That was one man she didn’t understand. He seemed to want to protect them but still he did things against them and he wasn’t the most open or gentle of men. Her education in psychology told her that there was more behind his hash words and seemly uncaring front than they saw but she didn’t know what and she wasn’t sure she wanted to know. The man was a ruthless killer, many of the other slaves said so and she herself had seen his handiwork. She remembered once a guard had been accused of helping slaves escape. BT had shot him in the forehead and his body had been hung up in the dinning hall as a warning for all. She had to give him credit though that she had heard him argue against letting the man’s body hang in the dinning hall. He had just killed the man and had argued that telling the guards and slaves the consequences of betrayal were enough. The captain had disagreed and only after three days where a sickening stench had made eating a pain in itself had the body been removed.

      She returned her glance to the floor and rubbed viciously. She missed Ororo, someone her age to talk to. Scott was always there to listen to her but all the doubts she had after the rape she’ll have liked to share with a woman. It wasn’t something she could tell her husband. Oh, yes…husband. Scott and her had married a few days ago in almost the same manner as Peter and Kitty, only the Professor had been conducting the ceremony and since both Scott and herself were protestants he had given them a Christian wedding as well. Sure, in the real world their wedding wasn’t legal or binding but both Scott and her had wished to show to the world what they felt in their hearts. Again Remy had been able to produce a wedding ring. Ok, not a ring actually. Jean looked lovingly at it on her now hardened hands after months of hand labour. It was a plain gold band, used to hold machinery together. How Remy had been able to steal it was beyond her. More than that she had heard that some equipment had broken down and two guards had been killed, the accident strangely enough falling together with Remy’s whereabouts and his stealing of the gold band though he had never been punished for it.

      She looked at it again and smiled. Scott had proposed in the hallway, as far away from preying eyes as they could get. He had went down on one knee and taken her hand in his. She had tried to pull him up with her. It had just been days since his and Logan’s punishment and she didn’t want him to hurt his back. He had brushed it off and looked into her green eyes. He had told her that he loved her and always would. That he wanted her to belong to him as he belonged to her. She had been very happy and flattered but had warned Scott that she wasn’t sure when if ever she would be ready to have sex again. He had stood and stroked her cheek and whispered that it didn’t matter. She mattered. All else was without meaning and importance. With that memory in her mind she resumed her work with a smile still playing on her lips as she thought of Scott, her husband and her love.

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