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FIC: Not Like You Thought It Would Be 1/1

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  • Autumn Leaves
    Title: Not Like You Thought It Would Be Series: Gradually Tainted Author: Autumn E-mail: autumnleaves@autumnpenguins.com Archive: DH, APE, others please ask
    Message 1 of 1 , Mar 24, 2003
      Title: Not Like You Thought It Would Be

      Series: Gradually Tainted

      Author: Autumn

      E-mail: autumnleaves@...

      Archive: DH, APE, others please ask

      Rating: R, language etc.

      Summary: Scott reaches out to a friend in need. A very bubby-fic for Logan
      and Scott.

      Author’s Notes: I blame this entirely on ‘Riot Act.’ This tune caught my
      attention and instantly flung a bunny. Conveniently enough, this story is
      the perfect prequel to an upcoming AU fic entitled “Bad Blood.”

      Not Betaed, all mistakes are mine.

      ******8 Indicates a passage of time.

      Disclaimer: I do not own The X-Men; “Save You” is property of the
      delectable Pearl Jam.


      Gonna save you fucker…….not gonna lose you

      Feeling cocky and strong…….Can’t let you go

      Too important too me

      “Charles, come on. Would you just try?”

      “Scott, you know I can’t.”

      “Look, he’s been gone for three days. This isn’t normal.”

      “He just needs time.”

      “Sir, I think its safe to say I know him better than you do. Just this once
      I’m asking you to do this, for him.”

      A long pause. “Very well Scott. But you know what I think.”

      “I do. But trust me on this.”


      It took Scott another two days to track Logan down from where
      Xavier had located him. Not surprisingly, it was in a town just north of
      the Canadian border. Logan always seemed to drift north when something
      serious was bothering him. It had been nearly two years since Rogue and
      Logan had turned up at the mansion. In that time, Logan had come and gone
      as he had seen fit. Rogue always wanted to go with him, she was half in
      love with him since he’d saved her life on the Statue of Liberty.

      Everybody knew there was something unspoken between them. Rogue
      embodied it, Jean knew it, Scott knew it, only Logan denied it. His reasons
      had never been clear, and he always skirted the question. People had
      stopped asking, reasoning that Logan would deal with things in his own time.
      It was a very Loganesque thing to do.

      Rogue meanwhile was discouraged that Logan showed little more
      than a friendly interest in her. Her intentions were always clear, but
      never accepted. She had sought Scott out as an outlet for her confusion and
      to vent her rejection. He’d come to think of her as a surrogate sister and
      looked out for here. In time they’d become great confidents, and Scott
      found himself sharing nearly everything with the young woman.

      But when his relationship with Jean had finally crumbled, it had
      been Logan who had helped to pick up the first pieces of a broken heart.
      Logan hadn’t shown any interest whatsoever in Jean since his initial visit
      to the mansion. On the night of the breakup, Logan had mysteriously
      returned. He took one look at Scott before packing him into a car and
      driving out to the nearest bar. They returned several hours later,
      inebriated and rowdy. A drunken brawl between them had settled the Jean
      issue once and for all. neither of them wanted anything to do with her.
      Afterwards, the grudging respect they’d had for one another gave way to a
      genuine friendship.

      The two men fought together, drank together, and argued about
      hockey together. St. John had gone so far as to send Scott a card
      proclaiming ‘Congratulations!.’ Against his better judgment, Scott peeked
      inside. The entire senior class had apparently ‘wished all the happiness to
      him and Logan as long as their union should last. The insinuations
      continued as it was about the same time that Logan moved into mansion almost
      permanently. He would still leave for stretches of time, but he finally
      seemed comfortable with calling the mansion home, or so Scott had thought.


      And fuck me if I say something you don’t wanna hear

      And fuck me if you only hear what you wanna hear

      Fuck me if I care……….but I’m not leaving here

      Logan had come home after a final stretch up at the base at
      Alkali. His ritual upon return was always to seek out Rouge, just to let
      her know he was safe and if he’d found anything. She had been plagued by
      his nightmares since the event, as they referred too it. Logan figured she
      deserved to know who the hell the people in the dreams were. “She left
      Logan.” Kitty informed him.


      “About two months ago.” The soft-spoken woman answered.

      “Where is she?”

      “I’m not supposed to tell you Logan. She asked me not too.”

      The words had stung him. Marie didn’t want him to know where
      she was? What in the hell was that all about?

      “Logan, just let her go. You owe her that.” Kitty said, and edge to her
      voice that meant business.

      “When is she coming back?” He pressed.

      “She’s not.” Scott answered, emerging from a doorway.

      Logan just stared at him. Aside from Scott, Marie was the only person he
      really liked talking to at great lengths. “How-“ he began.

      “She went off to do her own thing, just let it alone.” Scott said, his
      voice indicating the discussion was closed.

      “Alright, fine.” Logan said tersely, picking up his bag and heading back
      out the door.


      You helped me when I was down……..I’ll help you when you’re down

      Why are you hitting yourself?…… C’mon hit me instead

      Let’s pick up your will……..its grown fat and lazy

      I’m sympathetic as well……. Don’t go on me now

      Scott located the bike in no time. It was displayed proudly in
      front of the bar. He smiled softly to himself before walking through the
      doors to search for Logan. The room was full of smoke, but the unmistakable
      hunch of a pointy-headed Wolverine quickly filled his gaze.

      “It took you five days to find me? You suck Scooter.” Logan
      said without turning his head.

      “You’re a hard man to find when you don’t wanna be found.”
      Scott answered.

      “I’m not going back if that’s what you’re here for.”

      “You know that’s not all I’m here for.”

      The bartender appeared in front of Scott. The sneer on his
      face, told them he didn’t exactly like mutants. “You wanna park here, pay
      the toll.”

      “Give me a Moose Drool.” Scott said evenly.

      The bartender plopped it down unceremoniously and gave Scott
      another glare before walking to the other end of the bar.

      “Come home Logan. We want you there. What the hell are you
      going to find out here?”

      Logan gave him a scathing look.

      “Look Logan, if you’re gonna sulk, at least do it in style.
      Come back with me.”

      “Nah, you’re drunk and I’m not driving.” Logan answered


      And I’m not living this life without you, I’m selfish and clear

      And you’re not leaving here without me, I don’t wanna be without

      My best……friend……Wake up, to see you could have it all

      Several hours later, the two men found themselves huddled up in
      the dingy little cabin Logan had rented. It was barely bigger than the size
      of an average motel room. Logan, while nearly impossible to get truly
      drunk, was a lot more willing to talk when he’d had some whisky working on

      “I dunno Scott, I just can’t believe she didn’t tell me she was leaving.
      Not a word.”

      “Well, Logan, did you tell her where you were going?”

      “No, but that’d different. She’s a kid still-“

      “Logan, she’s 20. Rogue is perfectly capable of taking care of herself.
      Stop worrying, or is there another reason you’re being sappy?”

      “No. And if there was, it would be none of your goddamn business dick.”

      Scott smiled, certain he’d gotten to the heart of the problem.

      Cause there is but you……and there’s something within you

      its taken control…….let’s beat it, get up lets go

      Oh you’re in your own world……let’s see the whole world

      Let’s pick up your soul

      “She pined for you Logan. I mean she was really in love with
      you, or thought she was anyway. And you had to have known.” Scott’s voice
      was sharper than it usually was when he talked to his best friend.

      “I knew it Scott.”

      “Pheromones?” He ventured a guess.

      “Yup. And her body gave off different signals, language wise.”
      Logan confided.

      “So what was it, I know you had, have feelings for her.”

      “I don’t feel like talking Scooter. I’m beat,” Logan began “you
      get the couch.”

      He strode off towards the small bedroom, which was only hidden
      by a screen from the rest of the room. Scott heard him settle into his bed
      and fall into a deep sleep quickly. He however had too much on his mind to
      be able to speak. Scott had been the one to encourage Rogue to share her
      feelings, and felt terrible that it had backfired so badly. He alone knew
      how much the young woman really cared for what he considered to be his best

      Scott wanted both of them to be happy. They’d seen so much on
      the battlefield and away from it. Rogue had a particularly harsh mutation
      that cut her off from the world in a very elemental way. She couldn’t touch
      and he couldn’t see. It was one of the things that was always there between
      them, the fact that they alone knew how it felt to loose a human sense. It
      bonded them, and was one of the reasons they were so at ease with each
      other. It had been Scott’s nasty job to tell Rogue that he’d been wrong and
      that the Wolverine wasn’t coming around.


      And fuck me if I say something you don’t wanna hear

      And fuck me if you only hear the treble in your head

      Please help….me…….to help you…….help yourself

      “Hey Marie.” Scott said.

      Her radar was up right away, Scott only used her name for serious

      “Its Logan.”

      “He doesn’t feel the same way, I know.” Marie said, sadness and resignation
      coloring her voice.

      “I don’t know what to say Marie. I feel, well, fuck, you know.” Scott
      floundered about for words, indicating just how lost he himself felt.

      “Its alright Scott. Life usually doesn’t always work our like you want it

      “That’s pretty jaded.” Scott said quietly.

      “Its true though, I thought Logan and I were meant to be. You thought you
      and Jean would always be together. I know Erik felt the same way about
      Charles too.”

      “Do you still feel him in your head?”

      “Yeah, he’s usually quiet, but sometimes I still get things from him.” The
      southern woman drawled.

      Scott put his arm around her shoulders and she leaned into him. They sat in
      companionable silence for sometime before Marie broke the silence.

      “Maybe its not life, maybe its just love that doesn’t work out the way you
      want it too.”

      She left Scott there, alone with his thoughts, while she walked away
      disheartened and determined to start over again.


      Help me help yourself……..please want me to…..please let me to

      Help you

      Logan and Scott woke late in the afternoon, one far more hung
      over than the other

      “You look like shit there Scooter.”

      “Well then I look better than I feel.” Scott groaned.

      “I guess I’m driving.” Logan said ad they packed their few
      belongings and threw the bike in the back of the 4 x 4 and set the course
      for home.

      “I’m glad you came up her Scott. Brooding gets old after awhile
      if there’s nobody to beat up, or talk to, when you’re drunk I mean.”

      “I know what you mean.” Scott smiled.

      The rest of the trip was spent in companionable silence.



      Annette: We need to talk about Michael
      Jackie: Fine. I'll use really small words so you'll be sure to understand
      Annette: That won't be good enough!
      -'That 70's Show'

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