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FF: Of Course We Can't be Friends [PG-13 Bobby/?]

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  • Elizabeth Wilde
    Author: Elizabeth Wilde Title: Of Course We Can t be Friends Distribution: Anyone who has my fic, anyone who asks for it, http://www.biteyourtongue.net/wilde
    Message 1 of 1 , Mar 7, 2003
      Author: Elizabeth Wilde
      Title: Of Course We Can't be Friends
      Distribution: Anyone who has my fic, anyone who asks
      for it, http://www.biteyourtongue.net/wilde
      Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men. Don't sue!!! The
      title comes from the song "Cup of Coffee" by
      Garbage. Unfortunately I have no claim to them
      'Ship: Bobby/?
      Classification: angst, vignette
      Summary: Bobby vents about his break-up with an
      unnamed girl.
      Rating: PG-13
      Spoilers: none
      Feedback: to wilde@...
      Notes: This story was begun in February of 2002 to
      allow me to vent about a rather messy,
      painful break-up. I finally finished it a year later
      from a much happier, safer place.

      I didn't realize being dumped could throw you into
      shock. Guess what? It can! Isn't that fun?
      There's sarcasm there. Hear it? Sorry, the bitterness
      is maybe obscuring some of it. I'll work
      on that. But I'm in shock. Or mourning. Or some other
      generally evil emotional crap that I don't
      deserve in the least.

      What did I do wrong? Did I talk too much? Say
      something stupid without realizing it? Am I a
      horrible kisser? I don't even know! But, then, would
      it be better if I did? If I knew beyond a
      shadow of a doubt that this was somehow my fault?
      Would it hurt less? I want to say yes, but in
      truth, I doubt that anything at all would help. Ever.

      And it doesn't really matter one way or another. My
      brain hurts. My heart. I feel sick to my
      stomach. Part of me wants to run out and do every
      stupid thing that I've ever thought of doing
      just to prove that I still can because everything's
      okay and it doesn't matter that I'm alone
      now. That's the worst part. Being alone. It's not that
      I want to grab the next girl I find just
      to have someone. I want what I had... what I *thought*
      I had with her. But I'm alone. I wonder
      if having someone just to be there would make it any
      better. Probably not.

      I've listened to every depressing love lost song I
      know about, and none of them have offered
      solace. Depressing music doesn't help. Go figure. I
      did cry a lot. Yeah, that's right, I cried!
      Guys cry too, especially when the love of their life
      just leaves. Okay, maybe she wasn't. Maybe
      she was never ever meant to be anywhere near me. Maybe
      even I knew the minute she agreed to go
      out with me that we were on opposite sides of some
      invisible fence and that nobody who wasn't
      just like her would be able to really make her happy.
      Maybe I knew I wasn't strong enough or
      weak enough or something to compliment her properly.

      None of that worrying and thinking and figuring
      matters now. Not even a little of it. Now I'm
      alone and I have to learn how to be alone again. I
      have to learn all over how somebody just sits
      there by themselves or goes out with friends without
      thinking about their other half waiting for
      them and thinking of them and loving them somewhere
      because there isn't anyone out there loving

      There never was.

      THE END

      I knew someday I'd finish another one! Whew!

      Daydream Believer [about me] ~ http://livia_augusta.tripod.com

      "We've always been ready for female superheroes because women want to be them and men want to do them." -Famke Janssen

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