By Nadja Lee 14/10/02
English is not my native language. Please forgive me my mistakes.
Disclaimer: X-men and all the characters here belong to Marvel, 20 Century Fox and I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.
Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.
Timeline: After the movie
Romance: Scott/Jean, Logan/Rogue
Summary: Logan and Scott talk about the X-men
and child soldiers
Archiving: Want, ASK, take, have.
Feedback: Yes, please. My e-mail address is neh@...
Authors notes: Written for Angel-love who wanted a story about child soldiers. This is what I have so far
putting this in the Evolution world would of course make it even clearer but I think this is the basis idea.
Warning: This story is dark and some may find it slightly disturbing. Consider yourselves warned.
Thanks as always to Estelle for great beta.
* * *
Marie told me you wanted to ask me somethin
get on with it then, Logan said as soon as he had entered Scotts office and sat down in the chair opposite Scotts. Scott looked at him through his red shades from the other side of the table.
I know that you and Rogue have
grown closer since your return so I understand why she wanted me to talk to you about this, Scott began, folding some papers before him.
Understand what? Logan asked confused.
okay, Im not sure I understand why but I can respect her decision
Scott began to explain.
Not that Scooter
what is it she wanted you to ask me? Logan interrupted impatiently.
. Scotts face fell in serious folds as he looked at Logan. Shes twenty now and I asked her if she wanted to join the X-men. She
Scott began to explain but Logan interrupted him.
No way, Logan denied hotly. Scott looked annoyed at him for being interrupted for the second time in a few seconds.
What do you mean; no way? Scott asked disbelieving.
What part of no way was it you didnt understand? The no or the way? Logan asked sarcastically.
Charming, Scott bummed. Why not? Ill say shes old enough to decide for herself.
And she is. If it was a decision made of her own free will Ill support it but not like this...never like this, his eyes were dark and haunted as if he remembered something unpleasant.
What do you mean? Scott wanted to know.
Maries not a soldier, shes not a warrior
shes not a killer and no one shall make her into one. Not while I can prevent it, his voice had raised, giving off waves of protectiveness. Scott raised his hands in a surrendering gesture.
Relax. No one said anything about killing, Scott protected.
Really? Youre gonna train her in battle but shell never be forced with a decision where its her life or the life of her enemy? Logan asked disbelieving.
We dont kill, Scott argued.
All the more reason for me to want to keep her safe; if you dont kill
then theyll kill you, there was knowledge in his voice, painful knowledge.
Thats not an option, Scott said strongly.
Not everything has a solution you like, Scooter
some things you just cant think your way out of, his voice was soft as if remembering back and his eyes had gone to the floor. Then his eyes returned to meet Scotts red shaded gaze. Tell me you can guarantee shell never be in danger; that shell never be forced to choose between being killed or killing another because its a choice I never want her to have to make, Logan demanded of him, holding his stare. Scott held his eyes but then had to break it when he looked down at his desk.
You know its a promise I cant give.
Logan nodded; satisfied that he hadnt lied.
Do you have any idea what happens to a person when he has to decide whos to live; you or him? Do you know what that does to a person? Logan whispered. Scott looked sharply at him and Logan could hear that his heart rate had quickened.
I do, he whispered, briefly closing his eyes at the memories
the first time had been in the heat of a fight, instinctively he had fired his beams but been unable to regulate the power in his stare
.the man had been nothing but a bloody mass on the floor
.if he concentrated he could still smell the sickenly smell of burned flesh and boiled blood. He had thrown up afterwards then and he almost did again now just thinking about it.
Then can you imagine what itll do to someone as compassionate
as empathic and sensitive as Marie? Logan said softly, knowing the look on Scotts face all too well.
Scott looked up at Logan and nodded.
but if she wants to
But she doesnt
thats my point. She feels like she owes you this for helping her but she doesnt want this. If theres a debt to pay Ill pay it for her but she wont fight, his tone was firm, his eyes like steel. Scott knew he couldnt change his mind and he wasnt sure if he wanted to.
Theres no debt but your help will be appreciated, Scott settled with. Logan nodded, sure that Scott believed what he said but Logan wasnt sure he believed it; everything had a price.
how old were you when you came here? Logan asked as he was to leave.
And let me guess
Xavier saved you somehow
right? Logan guessed. Scotts face fell in suspicious folds but he nodded.
. I owe him everything
. I was on the streets and he
.yes, he saved me, Scott settled with, not wanting to say anymore to a man who was barely a friend.
How old where you when Xavier sent you into battle as leader of the X-men for the first time?
And when you took your first life in battle?
That same year, Scott admitted.
You do know that every soldier beneath the age of eighteen is classified as a child soldier and its illegal in all Western worlds, right? his voice was soft then, not much of a question in his tone.
Im not a soldier, Scott denied.
You fight, you kill, you command
. youre a soldier, Logan insisted. He went to the door but stopped and turned back to look at Scott. Yknow
if I wanted to make myself an army
what better way than to save them, make them depend on me
even love me
. and then fight for me. Such soldiers would always be loyal
. toy soldiers always are.
Youre wrong! Scott denied hotly, jumping up from his chair. Xavier isnt like that. Were not his army. He didnt save us to make soldiers out of us
to brainwash us.
Really? Does he save non-mutants? No. Why? Because he cant use them for his army. Havent you noticed this school has incredibly many powerful mutants; powerful as in would make great soldiers? However most mutants have harmless powers like better hearing, 6 toes or horns on their heads
but do we have any of them?
Not many, Scott admitted. There was a pattern
the mutants here at Xaviers were mostly
no, it was insane
or was it?
Have you ever disobeyed him? Logan asked more gently, not sure why he felt the need to try and save Scott from his blind belief. Maybe because he saw something in him worth saving
maybe because it was Thursday. Logan wasnt sure and he didnt find it worth his time to figure it out.
Once. He wanted me to lead a mission but I wanted to stay with Jean because she wasnt feeling well.
What happened? He got mad at you, didnt he? Maybe even threatened you? Logan pressed, sure he knew more about the true Xavier than Scott even though he hadnt known the man as many years as him. Or maybe his lack of attachment was why he saw what Scott hadnt wished to see.
he said I was ungrateful
. that he had done so much for me and he asked so little in return
Scott remembered, thinking back.
What else? Logan pressed, feeling he was holding something back.
He yelled at me, got upset
he lifted his hand as if to strike me, Scott recalled, frowning. Why hadnt he thought of it before?
Did you go on the mission?
I cant recall what happened
I havent even thought about it before you asked me
I cant recall I agreed to go
Why couldnt he remember?
Were you injured on the mission?
I dont recall it clearly but I had some marks on my arm
and my forehead I think
. its all a little fussy, he tried to force the memory forth but it didnt want to come.
The Prof is a telepath
Logan let the sentence hang in the air between them.
, Scott denied
If theres one thing Ive learned its that nothing is what it seems and that idealists will do anything for their cause
. absolutely anything
and the Prof is a man with a dream
an idealist, Logan explained.
he wouldnt, Scott shook his head
Its not nice not to know for sure what happened, is it? there was no mocking in his voice, just knowledge and a hint of pain. Now you understand why I dont want Marie into this. The Prof is harmless
if he gets his way but every man has a touch of evil in him. Remember that, Logan advised as he turned back and walked out of Scotts office.
Scott stared after him for a long while. Brainwashed, used, abused
. betrayed and misled
. no, no
it couldnt be so. He had been young, he had fought at a young age
but time had demanded it
it was because it was needed
. he was
. what had he done? What had been done to him?
What had happened?
Authors notes: The reaction Xavier had to Scotts disobedience in this story is very close to the reaction he had in Uncanny X-men 102; he did get angry, he did call Scott ungrateful and he did raise his hand as if to strike him and Scott raised his own hand in protection and backed a little away. So this story isnt that far out as some may believe.