Darker Destiny: Lost Somewhere
By Nadja Lee 14/05/02
English is not my native language. Please forgive me my mistakes.
Disclaimer: X-men and all the characters here belong to Marvel, 20 Century Fox and I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.
Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.
Timeline: Set in the movie universe/an AU. Before the movie
Universe: Set in the movie universe; NOT the book which goes with it.
Summary: A man wonders if he could have done something else with his life
Archiving: Want, ASK, take, have.
Feedback: Yes, please. My e-mail address is nadjalee2000@...
Warning: May contain disturbing elements. This is a VERY dark tale! You have been warned.
Sequel/series: Part of the Darker Destiny series but you doesnt need to read the earlier parts to follow this. You can read the entire series here:
The only part of it you might need to read to understand this is Darker Destiny: What Was And What Is which is a comparison piece to this. You can read that story here:
Thanks to Estelle for Beta.
Authors notes: The Darker Destiny series is based on the concept what if Xavier had never founded the X-men? in the movieverse and then given it a darker spin.
Have you ever wondered what it is like to feel like you were born to do something more, be more than you are?
Even here, even now, I still feel this faint flicker of restlessness. This feeling that there is something more, something else I should be doing. Its rather stupid because what else, what more could I possibly want or ask for? Yet, though the voice is much quieter now than it was in my youth its still there and in the stillness of the night itll whisper to me.
I was so idealistic when I was younger. I wanted to save the entire world from itself. I thought I could make a difference, I thought I could change the world. Now I know I was daydreaming and all dreams must one day end. I still believe in helping others but I have long since admitted that most humans are full of fear, hate and prejustice and they cant and wont open their minds and hearts to any other way of thinking than their own. If your way of life isnt theirs youre abnormal, strange and a potential threat who theyll try and remove as soon as possible.
I was born to money and wealth but a strict stepfather showed me life on the other side as I felt humiliation and pain from his hands. When I cried myself to sleep at night I swore that no child should ever have to live through what I had. I became a psychologist and started working at a hospital for patients wounded in war. It was there I first met Erik. He was unlike anyone I had ever met; he was strong yet valuable, bitter yet hopeful, in pain yet helping others, revengeful yet had such a gentle touch. To this day he remains one of my lifes greatest contradictions.
It was while working with Erik that I learned why girls and women had never attracted me. I had had girlfriends but something had always seemed wrong and missing. As my friendship with Erik grew to love I knew what it was. However I was too controlled to dare say anything and even more so because I was a mutant and I didnt know how hell take that.
Disaster should be what brought us together. After I had discovered my own sexuality I had begun to speak out for gay rights as well as mutant rights. That didnt go over well with many people who still fought the equality of the races that the 60s had brought with it in its wave of love, freedom and a youth who believed firmly in peace and a better future. I had received many threats on my life and was well awake of the danger yet the attack was still a surprise. I was going towards my car when it happened. They were too many for me to capture all their minds and the attack was too violent; I lost control. They came at me with pipes and hit me again and again. I stumbled and fell, blood running from my broken lip and dripped to the ground. Someone kicked me; his face twisted in fury as they all yelled insults at me, everything from mutie to faggot. I felt several ribs break as I tried to hold onto one of my attackers mind but pain was clouding my ability. Someone hit my legs repeatedly with an iron pipe and I screamed in agony. It felt like my legs were on fire, pain so intense that I nearly passed out ran through me. I was only half conscious when suddenly something made my attackers fly backwards and land in unnatural positions on the ground; obviously dead. Blood kept running into my eyes as I looked up and saw that my saviour was no other than the man I loved; Erik. And he was flying. He was a mutant like me. I noticed the fury and concern in his eyes and I wanted him to know I was all right but I couldnt get a word out; the pain was too intense. As he landed beside me and gathered me in his arms I passed out. The next I knew I woke up in a hospital bed and Erik held my hand; he had never left me.
That day my dream died. I saw that the only true thing in this world were the bond of love I share with Erik; everything else is false. The next year was a painful battle as I realised I would never walk again. Erik stayed by my side no matter how often I hurt him, pushed him away, complained, cried or cursed; he understood and stayed. Later I learned of all the pain he himself has gone through and I know how he could understand my frustration, helplessness and useless anger.
As soon as I had made a full recovery Erik flew us away from the hospital and America and to this day we have never returned; it holds too many bad memories. Due to Eriks memories of a Europe in war under Hitler we stayed in Asia and brought a nice house where we now live together. Its peaceful and out of the way; like our own little piece of Paradise.
All in all life has turned out good for me; Im loved and I give love in return. What more can I possibly ask for?
At times I still wonder if I could have done more, should have done more but then I look down at my useless legs and I know; nothing can save the humans from their own blindness; not themselves and not me.
No, things turned out the way they should and the only way they could.