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Fic: "Darker Destiny: No Worth; No Life" PG-13/R (1/1)

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  • Nadja Lee
    Hi all, You need not read the other parts of this AU series but if you wish to do so you can find it here:
    Message 1 of 1 , Jan 5, 2003
      Hi all,

      You need not read the other parts of this AU series but if you wish to do so you can find it here:

      Darker Destiny: No Worth; No Life
      By Nadja Lee 14/05/02

      English is not my native language. Please forgive me my mistakes.

      Disclaimer: “X-men” and all the characters here belong to Marvel, 20 Century Fox and I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.

      Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.

      Timeline: Set in the movie universe/an AU. Before the movie

      Universe: Set in the movie universe; NOT the book which goes with it.

      Romance: None

      Summary: A young man tells of his life and desires…

      Archiving: Want, ASK, take, have.

      Feedback: Yes, please. My e-mail address is nadjalee2000@...

      Rating: R

      Warning: May contain disturbing elements. This is a VERY dark tale! You have been warned.

      Sequel/series: Part of the “Darker Destiny” series.

      Thanks to Estelle for Beta

      Have you ever wondered what it is like to have everything and it’s still not enough ……..

      I’m bored. Bored of games, bored of life in general. I’ve been everywhere, seen everything. There is nothing new to do or try.

      I’ve been the good boy, I’ve been the bad boy. I’ve built hospitals; I’ve made weapon deals with tyrants. I’ve built shelters to the homeless; I’ve tried drugs; doing and selling. I’ve given millions to charity; I’ve paid millions to anticipate in a game on human life; kill or be killed. I’ve travelled the world; I’ve done it all.

      Everything bores me. I’ve been everywhere yet why aren’t I satisfied? What do I want? I own half the bloody world for crying out loud. And maybe that’s the problem. The reality of it all. Everything seems unreal. I can buy everything; immunity for the law, life, death and love. Yet, it’s never real. None of it seems real to me. It’s like a giant videogame where I rule supreme. No one has any feelings or any thoughts of their own.

      I’ve never had any real friends or any real lovers. I can never tell who loves me for me or who loves me for my money. As time has passed I’ve come to understand that everything is about money; no one does anything for free. I can trust no one and no one here likes me for me; they like my money. I’m surrounded by people all day and night should I wish it so yet I’m always alone. No one understands me and no one wants to.

      I’ve so often heard that I have everything and that people wish they were me. Well, be my guest. It’s Hell in my mind even if I live in a golden cage. It’s like I’m trapped in the world’s greatest prison and I can’t break free.

      Yet sometimes late at night I dream. I dream of a mother’s sweet embrace, of a father who actually remembers my name, I dream of a woman who’ll truly love me and who’ll stay with me forever….and I dream I’m alone with her, flying high above the ground……..just like an Angel. Just like an Angel.

      But that’s just that; dreams. My parents were always too busy to see me, I was raised by nannies. Touch and showing emotions was forbidden and now I don’t know if I would even be able to feel anything should I meet this dream woman of mine. Can I even feel at all? I don’t know for so far the only feelings I’ve had have been negative; nothing has touched me or made me feel. Maybe that was why I did so many extreme things from bad business deals to trying daring stunts that could have cost me my life…..maybe I was hoping I could feel. Something, anything. But I didn’t.

      At night, in dreams, I have hope. I’m so sure she is out there somewhere, waiting for me. But as I reach for her she’s always gone. At day I know better; there is no such woman and even if there was I’ll never find her. No one could ever know my darkness and the conflict in my soul and understand. No one.

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