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FIC: Not Another X-Men Parody! Part IV

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  • Autumn
    Not Another X-Men Parody! Part IV: In Which It All Goes Wrong, and Act One Ends! Disclaimer in part one Archive: DDFH, Black Phoenix Queen Archive Notes: The
    Message 1 of 1 , Sep 29, 2002
      Not Another X-Men Parody! Part IV: In Which It All Goes Wrong, and
      Act One Ends!

      Disclaimer in part one

      Archive: DDFH, Black Phoenix Queen

      Archive Notes: The end of Act one. When posted please post parts 1-
      4 as one act. Thanks.

      * Songs are the original work of the author, the characters belong
      to someone else, kinda *

      Previously: Mustard Streaks and the Weanieman were taken to Xavier's
      Excellent Accommodations, Dr. Jean Fraudian and the Wonderboy had a
      fight, Kitty had one line, and the Lonesome Crooner broke into the

      "I'll tell you why I'm here. And the Lonesome Crooner sang again…"

      "I have no time to sit and whine
      about the memories, we both know
      But time is cruel and marches on
      and leaves us empty handed.


      Lonesome, where are you going?
      What are you doing?
      Have you forsaken me?


      Twas I who was left out in the cold!
      You built your school, and took the children
      Your little family survived
      all the while, I was dying inside


      We parted ways, we had no choice
      You wanted the world
      and I'm a pac-ifist
      There was nothing else to say


      Would you two stop crying
      and get to the freaking point?


      I'm a bad guy, that's what I am!
      I'm nasty and mean and ruthlessly cruel
      I kidnap little girlies
      and use them to stop the world

      I've said too much of my plan, I fear that I must jet!
      However, you've got telepaths, you'll figure it out yet!
      The meeting was lovely and Charles I love you
      but now we say goodbye!

      Check your bedrooms and your closets
      You'll find the missing key
      Te hee

      Te he, he , heeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

      Without a further note the Lonesome Crooner disappeared with his
      cohorts with a writhing package flung over the shoulder of one. It
      began to wail…

      Mustard Streaks:

      Please put me down,
      I dislike heights
      and I get motion sic-
      * ralphing noise * too late.

      "That's disgusting! Onto the search!"

      The Search of the mansion……

      "The kids are all present and accounted for sir." the boy wonder

      "And the goats?"

      "All in the bedroom." Dr. Fraudian said, looking a little flushed.

      "The pheasants?" Charles asked.

      "With the chickens, sloth, and eye of Wisteria" the Enegmatic one
      stated rapturously.

      "There is one that's missing" the Weanieman began in a voice that
      shook with anguish.

      "Who? We have the farm animals, and the kids, who'd be gone?"

      "The only one with hair of that shade."

      "Mustard Streaks!" Everyone chimed in together.

      "We've gotta saver her!" the Weanieman lamented.

      "But, how? The Lonesome crooner has her now. I'm afraid she's
      sentenced to DOOM."

      "Wait a minute, he must have left behind clues in his singing. He
      always gives himself away!" the Wonderful Leader boy said

      " He said something about kidnapping little girlies and using them to
      end the world!"

      "But what does that mean?" Jean wailed.

      "It means he kidnapped the streaked girl, and is going to try and end
      the world." Charles explained impatiently.

      The Weanieman shot the metal from his arms and said, "Not while these
      prongs are still standing."

      All was silent…….

      To be continued in Act II …….
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