Fan Fic: I LIKE MY CHILDREN MED/RARE final segment
- Disclaimer: Well the bottom line is I won't be making any money from
A couple of the characters are mine, but Marvel and FOX entertainment
own Sabretooth and the other members of the brotherhood.
SUMMERY: It's all pretty silly and just for soem laughs.
I mean, com'on who in their right mind would let Sabretooth baby-
RATING: PG13 adult language
FEEDBACK: My ego thives on it! adnilnosnhoj@y...
ARCHIEVE: Just let me know so I can tell my friends.
Roy then had the idea to go back and get the diaper bag and stuff ut
full of goodies. He made it back to the rec-room and to the kitchen
again. All the way to and from the rec-room he merrily munched on
fritos and thought to himself what a great and wonderfull man this
He looked for the leather pouch Sabretooth had asked for, and he
found the beer with no trouble. Soon he was out the door looking for
his way outside.
In the mean time, Sabretooth walked under a very tall, very large,
and sturdy tree.
Sabretooth was ignoring her crying, as best as he could, and held the
carrier inside with one hand. He then leaped up into the tree,
grabbing onto one of its sturdy branches with his other hand.
From branch to branch Victor shimmied up the tree until he was nearly
to the top. He set the handle of the baby carrier over a strong tree
branch; one that was sturdy enough to hold her weight. She was freely
swinging from the branch as the sea breeze "rocked the cradle" to and
fro. He carefully covered her up with her blanket, making sure she
could still breathe. The swinging sensation and fresh sea air put her
to sleep within minutes and Sabretooth was finally able to sigh in
relief. He leaned back on a tree branch himself and enjoyed a
moment's peace. He closed his eyes and for a moment forgot all about
Roy or even Hannah.
He had become so used to living without cubs under his feet, it
forgot how nice they could be to have around once in a while.
Even if they were someone else's.
By the time Sabretooth leaped down from the tree, Roy was outside in
the courtyard as well, wondering where Hannah and the felinoid were.
Sabretooth quickly noticed the boy was zipping around the yard like a
"What's gotten inta ya, runt?" He asked as he watched Roy move about
like his pants were full of fire ants.
"Nothing." Roy snapped up a quick and loud answer. "I'm fine! Great!
Haha! Here's your beer, and pouch!" He was nearly yelling, and
drooling over himself as he moved head in every direction. "Where's
Sabretooth looked up into the tree. "There."
Roy looked up into the tree where his sister was sleeping.
"Relax, kid, used to do this all the time." Sabretooth assured the
boy. He opened his beer and chugged half of it in one swallow.
"I ain't never had a baby fall out of a tree yet." He proudly
announced. "Well, just once, but I caught him b'fore he hit the
ground." Roy's eyes became the size of saucers. "Was he alright?" Roy
Sabretooth nodded his head as he finished his beer. "Oh yeah he's was
fine. Just a few scratches from hittin' a couple of branches on the
way down. But you would of thought I tried ta kill him by the way his
mama went on." The memory made Sabretooth laugh out loud. "Hehehehe I
never saw a woman get so pissed off before!" He then added. "Hell
hath no fiery, right kid?"
Roy just kept looking up into the tree and started jumping up and
down. "I want to see her! I want to see her!" He kept repeating.
Sabretooth then recognized Roy was in the middle of one hell of a
"Ummm kid, I know I said you could eat what ever you wanted, but just
curious, what exactly did you eat?"
Roy stopped bouncing and went to swaying his body to and
"Just cookies?" Sabretooth couldn't believe just some cookies could
bring this kind of a rush on. "Ummm some other stuff." Roy's brain
was buzzing so fast, he could barely keep up with his thoughts.
Sabretooth put his hands on his hips. `I get one cub to quiet down
and now the other one is bouncing off the damn walls.'
"Well never mind that now. Let's try this any ways."
Sabretooth took a few steps back to space himself from Roy. "First
thing I want ya ta do is show me what ya got." The felinoid announced
as he clapped his hands once to get Roy's attention. "I want ya ta
come at me and try ta knock me down."
"Sir," the child protested. "I can't knock a guy as big as you
down." "Have you ever tried?" Sabretooth asked rudely. Roy shook his
head. "Alright then; stop arguing with me. It's disrespectful. Ready,
set, now go!"
Roy sprinted toward the mutant with all his strength.
A moment went by before Victor spoke. "OK, kid, get up and try it
again." Roy was laying flat on his back watching the stars spinning
around his head.
"This time lower your shoulders and tuck your head in your chest a
bit, then run into me as hard as you can."
Slowly and some what painfully, Roy stood up and once again charged
at Sabretooth like he a raging bull. *THUD!!*
"Now now that was a little better," Victor tried not to laugh. "I
almost felt that." Victor still had his hands on his hips as he
waited for the child to get up off the ground. This time a little
blood dribbled from Roy's mouth where he had accidentally bit his
tongue as he hit the ground.
"One more time, same like before, but now before you charge at me
listen ta me squirt " Victor paused and leaned down to face Roy so he
would pay attention. "You're gonna see yerself puttin' me down,
"You mean imagine I've already knocked you down, right?" Roy asked.
"That's right. The only way you'll be a winner is knowin' you've
already won." Sabretooth instructed.
Roy caught his breath and followed the mutant's instructions. He
cleared his head as best as the sugar in his blood would allow and
thought of nothing but seeing Sabretooth hit the ground.
Roy ran into Victor hard enough to make the man stagger; then Roy
grabbed him around the knees, making them buckle as he squeezed them
together. Roy even went so far as to growl himself in a human-like
childish sort of way. "grrrr " Suddenly, Sabretooth went down on his
butt with a thump. He started to chuckle and rolled out of Roy's
grip. "See kid. Not so hard is it? The thing you never want to forget
is, when yer in a scrap, you can't think of nothin' else but seein'
yerself comin' out of it on top. Got that?"
Victor stood up and helped Roy to his feet. "OK. Here's what ya do
when some cock sucker's standin' in front of ya.
Take yer fingers and jab them into their throat as hard as you can.
Like this. And don't be too proud to fight dirty. Always remember
this: It's losers who complain about if the fight was fair or not.
Winners just get paid, and they get laid!"
Sabretooth demonstrated the move on Roy very slowly, and carefully;
not to actually ram his claws into the child's neck.
Roy marveled at Victor's hands.
"If I had nails like yours I bet no one would bother me." He said
enviously. Sabretooth himself looked admiringly at his hands. "Well,
I ain't gonna lie, they're nice ta have. Wouldn't trade them fer
nothin'. But yer wrong `bout people leavin you alone. Seems like
somebody is always tryin' to prove somethin'. I can't go out without
some half drunk and entirely stupid, dumb fuck picking a fight with
Sabretooth then reached in the pouch Roy had got for him from the
kitchen, and pulled out a dark brown piece of dried meat. "Here." He
offered it to the boy. "You should eat some of this."
"What is it, sir?" Roy took the meat and examined it.
"Deer Jerky, made it myself." With that Roy took one bite. "Yea-uck!"
Roy gagged on the meat. "This is grossest thing I've ever tried!" Roy
Sabretooth's feelings might have been hurt, except for the fact he
blamed Roy's poor judgment of good deer jerky on his panty waste dad
and up-tight mother. Obviously the child had never been offered deer
meat before, otherwise he would have been asking for more.
"Don't be a whimp, whuss! Here, have s'more." Sabretooth handed him
another piece and expected Roy to eat it.
"Go on. Ya just need ta get used that wild taste. A couple more bites
and you'll start lovin' it."
Slowly, Roy took another bite. He tried to chew it without actually
having it touch any taste buds.
Then suddenly, Sabretooth slapped his back, forcing Roy to swallow
the meat before choking on it.
"Now that's what ya wanna eat to grow up to be a man. Want more?"
Roy shook his head emphatically. "I don't want to be a man right now,
The combination of the wild deer meat, mixed with too much sugar was
working hard on Roy's stomach. "Wooooh. Sir, I don't feel so good,"
Just then, from another part of the lair, Eric and Roy's father,
Simon both appeared.
Right away, the fathered noticed that his infant daughter was nowhere
in sight. "Where's Hannah?" He was almost afraid to ask.
Sabretooth used the same sickening sweet tone of voice Eric had heard
him use earlier. "Sleeping like an angel." Again grinning like the
Eric knew when the felinoid was avoiding a question. "Oh, really.
Where is she Sabretooth?"
Sabretooth merely pointed a clawed finger up at the tree where
Hannah lay blissfully asleep. "She's enjoying a little fresh air."
"Ahhhh!!!" Simon screamed. "Get her down at once!"
"Geeze frail; don't get yer panties in a wad! Yer cub's fine."
Victor huffed as he climbed back into the tree to retrieve the infant.
As he made his way toward Hannah, everyone on the ground could hear
him complain. "They wouldn't of made a song about babies swinging
from tree tops if it was bad fer `em!"
Roy, in the mean time, came over to his dad. "Dad, I don't feel so
good." He listlessly said as he grabbed on to his father's leg. Then
suddenly, *barrrrf!* all over Eric's shoe. "Ohhh." Roy's head felt as
if it would spin clean off his shoulders.
"Creed!" Magneto shouted furiously.
Sabretooth at least did not jump from the top of the tree with Hannah
in her carrier as he could have. He shimmied down the tree about half
way, before leaping. *Thud*
He landed directly in front of the men who impatiently waited for him.
"There, see? She's fine. Satisfied?" Sabretooth's mood was getting
dark. Magneto's was getting even darker.
"I told you Mags, this ain't no job for the `Tooth." Victor sounded
rather pleased to prove him self right.
Simon whisked around to look at Lehnsherr. "I think it's time for us
to be leaving." He sounded as if he was at least trying to stay
Had Eric thought he could not finish what the two men had begun
together on his own, he may have kept them there against there will.
As it was, Eric was anxious to go to his room and remove the child's
vomit from his foot now that it had begun to seep through parts of
his leather shoe.
Before leaving, Roy went over to Sabretooth and reached out his hand
to shake his. Roy thought that hugging would be too sissy-like for
the felinoid. So, the two shook hands, much to Lehnsherr's amazement.
Sabretooth and Magneto stood beside each other and watched Toad take
the chopper up to take their `guests' home.
As the sound from the chopper's engines faded in the distance, Eric
turned to the felinoid. "If it were not for the fact that I need
someone with your expertise, you wouldn't have much of a life to
look forward to I assure you." Magneto snapped at his subordinate.
"As it is, you'll be heading out for the main land tomorrow. There's
someone I need you to eliminate so that Mystique can take his place
"Main land," Sabretooth repeated. "Cool. But there's somethin' I
gotta do before I go on a job."
Magneto's eyes bulged out with surprise and anger. "Oh, and what
might that be?"
Sabretooth nodded his head as he watched the chopper's lights grow
smaller and smaller. "Gonna visit some kids of mine tomorrow. It
might take a while to get to `em all."
Eric gave him an odd look. He went on to say, "I would have thought
the women you sired children with, by now would have restraining
orders on you."
Sabretooth shook his head. "Not all of `em. Besides, restraining
orders don't mean nothin' to the `Tooth."
"Oh Sabretooth, by the way," Magneto thought to add. "That bonus
you're expecting to find on your next pay check? I intend to use it
for the new pair of leather shoes that you owe me."
Victor just growled a bit. "Just wait `n see what I put in them shoes
when you're sleepin' Mags." He muttered to him self as he turned and
walked away. THE END