Disclaimer: Well the bottom line is I won't be making any money from
A couple of the characters are mine, but Marvel and FOX entertainment
own Sabretooth and the other members of the brotherhood.
SUMMERY: It's all pretty silly and just for soem laughs.
I mean, com'on who in their right mind would let Sabretooth baby-
RATING: PG13 adult language
FEEDBACK: My ego thives on it! adnilnosnhoj@...
ARCHIEVE: Just let me know so I can tell my friends.
I LIKE MY CHILDREN MED/RARE
"Frankly, my brutish friend, you're not my first choice for this
task; but Mystique's assignment is far to important to pull her away,
and I need Toad to fly the helicopter tonight, so..." Eric took a
deep breath before he continued. "...I suppose you'll have to do."
Victor Creed, didn't appear to be harmed by his superiors
remark. *Well, my self-esteem just hit an all time low.* the felinoid
joking thought to himself. He brushed it off without a second
thought. "So whatcha got fer me t'night, boss? A grab-n-nab or a
slice-n-dice?" Lehnsherr rolled his eyes at his uncultured
colleague's sheer lack for tact. He then began to explain about this
evening's assignment. "A very close and trusted friend of mine as
offered to help me with this *mutation machine* I've been working on.
In order to get it up and running in time for the summit meeting we
must begin working on it tonight." Eric huffed and waved his hand in
frustration. "So, naturally, there would be a problem." Creed tilted
his head just slightly trying to understand why Magneto was taking so
long to explain tonight's job. "my friend has two children and..."
Eric paused and gave the giant a very serious look. "...we need you
to watch them this evening."
Sabretooth's throat had mutated in a way that made it painful for him
to laugh, but when something was THIS funny, he couldn't help
himself. "HA-HA-HA!" Creed's laughter sounded like a tiger panting
for its breath. "I didn't think ya even knew what a joke was Mags! HA-
HA-HA!" Tears were beginning to swell up in Victor's eyes he was
laughing so hard. Maybe NOW he could start to relax a little around
the *Man of Magnetism*. However, Eric, who was somewhat taken back by
this sudden and unexpected display of emotion, cocked his eyebrow in
surprise. "I'm afraid this is no laughing matter!" His tone of voice
was more serious than a heart-attack. "Their regular baby-sitter
cancelled at the last moment and my friend has no choice but to bring
his children along." Then, Lehnsherr, reminded his loyal attack-dog
one of the more important rules that every member of the brotherhood
must follow. "Haven't we discussed that it is improper to refer to me
Sabre's smiling face was slowly returning to its usual scowl as he
gradually realized that his superior was not kidding after all. "Yer
right!" Victor spoke proudly of himself. "This ain't no job fer
the 'Tooth!" He then began to growl low and angrily.
Normally, just one of his threatening growls would send fear into the
heart of anyone. That is, anyone but Magneto, who responded to the
felinoid's noise with nothing more than a stern, cold, parental
glare. The alpha-wolf would be getting his way. Creed just huffed and
began to stare out the window. "Really." Eric thought of trying to
cheer up his dejected thug. "I would think this wouldn't be all that
hard even for you. Just keep in mind that these are our guests, and
all should go smoothly."
The pep talk wasn't working; Victor just shot him an angry look but
said nothing. Eric paid no attention to the look and went into more
detail. "The older child is a quiet and rather meek boy. You won't
have any trouble from him, and I'm sure that the baby will be
sleeping most of the time they are here." "BABY!?!"
Sabretooth nearly chocked on the word. "Ah, now this is goin' to
far!" He was outraged. "Can't you guys do this some other time?" "Out
of the question!" Lehnsherr stood his ground. "It's now or
never!" "But..." Victor insisted. "You are NOT getting out of this,
Creed! This discussion has ended!" Victor bit his lower lip to
keep from going *psycho* on the only man he both respected and
feared. He whispered under his breath, "I hardly ever see ma own
kids, what the hell do I do with somebody else's?" His remark went
unnoticed. "You will come to the landing platform and greet our
guests the moment they arrive. Understood?" Victor was once more
growling, but this time it was as much a plea for mercy as it was one
last protest. "Understood!?!" Reluctantly, Vic gave up and deeply
sighed. "What ever ya say- MAGS!" With that, he stormed out of the
Victor spent the rest of the day sulking in his room. When the
chopper landed, he reluctantly went to the landing platform. 'Yeah,
just can't wait ta meet t'night's prey...er...um guests.' It was a
genuine Freudian slip. He knew that unless he had Lehnsherr's
permission, Eric's guests were off limits. But this didn't mean he
couldn't have a little fun at their expense.
The first one to come out of the bird was Toad. He was grinning from
ear to ear. The first thing he did when he was close enough for
Victor to hear him, was shout a teasing remark. " 'ear you've got
yourself a 'ot date t'night with a real babe! Watch it mate, she's
got a big brother to make sure you keep 'er respectable!" If only
that little green man was close enough to swing a claw at. "So, just
how the hell did you manage to get outta this, Wart?" Creed asked
suspiciously. "Oh, I just reminded our fearless leader of 'ow much a
better pilot I am." Mort spoke ever so smugly. Then as if a light
bulb came on over Vic's head, he thought of one more question. "What
does Mag's need ya flyin' fer any ways?" "Trust me mate; I'll think
of something the chap can't live without!"
The next to exit was a small boy with wire framed glasses. A true
frail if Vic ever saw one. Sabretooth's first reaction was when he
saw him was, 'I've crapped bigger piles of shit than this kid!' The
child's hair was light brown, cut very short, and it appeared that
his glasses were a bit bent out of shape. Creed also happen to notice
the boy's left eye was nicely bruised. The boy was completely awe
stricken by the sight of the giant mutant which stood silently next
to his father's friend Eric Lehnsherr. He had to take a couple of
steps back just to see the top of Sabre's head. "Whoa..."
Sabretooth turned and gave Magneto a very hard, grimacing look. Eric
leaned towards him and calmly said, "I'm expecting you to be on your
very best, meaning most civilized, behavior tonight. If you so much
as harm a hair on their heads, by tomorrow morning, I'll have two
more balls bouncing around on my desk, and they won't be made of
metal. Reluctantly, Victor nodded his head. "Fine." Eric cheerfully
relaxed. "Then it's settled."
'Fine.' Creed mocked to himself. He then grinned like the Cheshire
Cat and in a sickening sweet tone of voice he said, "I'll be a
regular Santee-Claus, boss. Those brats won't wanna leave here I'll
be so good to 'em." A strange look came over Eric's face. Hearing his
faithful felinoid speak like that was very disturbing; almost down
right spooky. "Yes. Yes. Just keep them out of trouble."
Simon, the boy's father and Eric's friend was the next to exit the
chopper. He too, was a frail geek who wore dark rimmed glasses and
had a serious case of male pattern baldness. He was caring a baby
carrier in one hand and a diaper bag in the other, but quickly tried
to pass the onto his son, who just stood in frozen silence. Now it
was Simon's turn to take a look at the intimidating Victor Creed.
Without hesitation, he grabbed Eric by the arm and pulled him to the
side. Nervously he began to question Lehnsherr's judgment in baby-
Creed knew exactly what was going on, and he gave the boy a toothy
grin. "Sir?" The boy whispered softly. "Are...are YOU going to be
watching my sister and me?" 'Sir. hmmm. I like that. 'Least the
got some manners.' Even though Victor may have been impressed with
the child's show of respect, he wasn't about to return the favor. He
just stood there staring down at the shy, scrawny child, with his
cold soul-less eyes.
"Are you absolutely sure about this?" Simon kept repeating. "I assure
you Simon, my associate may look quite ferocious, but he is
surprisingly well mannered." This wasn't the first time Eric had lied
Simon finally agreed and went to give Victor some basic
instructions. "S..s..Sabretooth, is it? Umm..this is my son Roy, he's
seven, and sister Hannah is almost four months old." Simon's voice
sounded just a little shaky; he couldn't help but feel little uneasy
leaving his children with a man whose clawed hands were the size of
pizza-pans! "Don't get yer bowels in an uproar, pops." Vic roughly
snorted. "I know ma orders. I ain't gonna do nothin' ta yer kids I
wouldn't do with ma own." For some reason, Eric took Sabretooth's
remark as a subtle threat. "A-hem" Lehnsherr, faked a cough and gave
the felinoid a *How dare you!* look; to which Sabretooth gave him a
*What? What did I say wrong?* look in return.
It took every bit of self-control Victor could muster not to start
growling again. "Mags, there had better be a bonus in my next check."
Vic figured that he was going to loose his dignity, then the least he
could do is run this *Mags* thing into the ground.
Now it was Eric's turn to hold in a growl. "I think enough time as
been wasted on introductions. Simon come with me." He spoke in an
offended manner. Simon then found himself being rushed off the
landing platform and into an elevator. 'The note! I forgot to tell
him about that fucking note.' Simon reminded himself as entered the
elevator. "Roy! Tell Sabretooth about the n..." The doors closed
before he could finish.
Toad gave his felinoid friend one more smirky grin, and left Victor
alone on the platform with the others two "guests". Creed took a long
deep breath and closed his eyes, perhaps in hopes of suddenly waking
up the finding this had all been just a crazy dream. He slowly opened
his eyes. No such luck. He looked down to see that geeky looking pip-
squeek and his practically new-born sister were still standing in
front of him. "Keep that mouth open much longer runt, and somethin'
bound ta fly in." This seemed like a pleasant enough 'ice-breaker' as
far as Vic was concerned. *Small talk* had never been his strong
Roy's mouth quickly snapped shout; then he gulped hard as he blinked
his eyes several times. Maybe he too was testing to see if this was
all a dream. For just a second, Sabretooth thought about doing
something to scare the crap out of this kid. If for no other reason
than to just have some fun. 'Later.' Creed decided. 'Later.'
Roy was beginning to struggle with the weight of Hannah as she slept
inside the carrier. 'Scrawny runt. No wonder some body gave him I
black eye.' He was after all just about the puniest thing Creed had
ever seen. "Gimme that!" Sabretooth huffed and took the carrier out
of Roy toothpick arms.
With the tip of one of his clawed fingers, Vic peeled the blanket
down far enough to see the bundle inside. Here he was face to face
with the most perfect form of innocence. He marveled at the way
Hannah just went on peacefully sleeping; completely unaware of what
terrorible things he could do to her. Though he had never actually
killed anyone this young before, he knew he could, and do so without
Vic pulled the cover back to protect her from the cool ocean
air. "C'omon runt. This way."
Roy was having trouble keeping up with Sabretooth's long strides. The
last thing Roy wanted to do was get lost within this complex
labyrinth Magneto created. He kept trying to run to catch up, but the
large over-stuffed diaper bag he carried, kept tripping his
feet. "Sir...please! Wait up!" Roy cried out to Creed. Sabretooth
turned around and yelled, "What I hafta do? Carry you too? It's just
up the hall, runt." It was bad enough having to baby a baby; there
was no way in hell he was babying the lil punk too.
Like any other room, the rec-room was a dank, cold, colorless man-
made cave; void of any sort of *hominess*. In other words, Magneto's
personal touch could be seen from ceiling to floor. Secretly, both
Toad and Sabretooth wished that by some miracle, Mystique would go
through the whole place and give it the *woman's touch*, but neither
had the nerve to suggest it to her. It was easier to live with the
drab-gray surroundings, than to live with Mystique once she had it in
Once inside the rec-room Vic carefully set the carrier down on a
leather couch. Surprisingly, he was doing a pretty good job on a task
he didn't even want. With his hands on his hips, he passively watched
the infant in her carrier. Hannah just wriggled slightly. She yawned
and went back to sleep without a fuss. By this time Roy had made his
way to the room.
"She always this quiet?" Roy shook his head. "No, sir...er...yes,
sir...I mean, I don't know, sir. I'm usually in my room as soon as I
finish dinner." For a moment, Victor just gave the child a blank
stare. He didn't think that such an easy question would have had such
a complicated answer. He wondered if he asked the frail anything
else, would the kid have a nervous breakdown?
"Relax runt. It ain't like I'm gonna eat ya- yer too bony." Vic then
started to rub his tummy. "Now this babe...mmmm. She'll make a tasty
snack fer later." Roy gasped in horror. "You're...you're kidding
right?" Sabretooth paused, and quietly pondered his answer. "Guess
we'll just hafta wait 'n see, huh?"
Victor began to rummage through the diaper bag, occasionally picking
out an item and examining it. After all, the contents of a diaper bag
were as mysterious as a woman's purse.
He found a paper in a side pocket, and started to unfold it. "What's
this?" he asked curiously. "Oh that." Roy dropped his head and
murmured. "It's a note. *sigh* From my mother." "Sounds like ya don't
want me readin' *mama's lil note*." Roy gave Sabretooth a very
sarcastic *DUH* look. "I would rather swim home, sir." His tone of
voice was just a sarcastic as the look.
For having taught himself, Victor's reading was not that bad. He read
softly to himself, sounding out the more difficult words.
" 'To whom it may concern; Our ch...children Roy and H...Hannah are
the most val...u..ued gems in mine and my hus...bands tr...treasure
chest. We are great...ly inter...ested in every de...tail of our
wonder...ful children's lives.' "
Victor paused; put his free hand on his hip, and adjusted his body
weight. He was beginning to understand why Roy didn't want him to
read *mama's lil note*.
" 'I have talked to some top ex...perts in p...ped...pedi...' "
Rather than trying to sound out 'pediatrics', Vic opted to skip down
a few lines.
" 'We be...believe that these g...guidelines are e...sen...tial for
our children to have a pr...prop..er and suc...c...ess...ful
child...hood for today's stan....standards.' "
Once more, Vic paused. He puffed his cheeks as he exhaled slowly. He
was quickly becoming mentally exhausted.
" '1) Hannah must stay on her s...ch....sch...'" Another break from
the note. Victor pointed to a word on the paper that just didn't seem
to fit into any phonetic pattern he was familiar with. "Hey, kid;
What's this word?" Roy wasn't exactly eager to help, but he didn't
want to piss off this fierce looking giant either. "Schedule, sir."
Victor nodded his head. It made sense now.
" ' 2) Our children may not con...sume any junk food or soft drinks.
3) Roy does not eat any pr...processed sugar, fl...flour, meat, or
food dyes. 4)Roy is not allowed to watch any sort of
en...enter...tain...ment that is not suit...able for children his
a...age. 5)Roy may not try anything d...d...dang...erous' "
'*Dang-erous?* No, wait- DANGEROUS!' Victor was quite pleased with
himself for discovering the answer on his own.
" '6) Roy is not allowed to stay up late. 7)Roy is not allowed-' "
Victor stopped reading and snorted rudely. "Seems ta me this damn
note would be a lot easier ta read if it just says, "Roy ain't
allowed to do NOTHIN' period!" Roy agreed. "Tell me about it,"
realizing he had said that out loud he swallowed hard. "...sir."
Victor quickly recalled a part of his own tragic childhood. 'Guess
there's more than one way ta keep a kid locked up.'
"Kid..." Victor crumpled up the paper and tossed it back into the
bag. "Yer ma is in serious need of an enema!" Roy began to smile and
chuckle a little.
The rec-room was where the new-recruits, especially the younger ones
liked to hang out. Too bad there weren't any around right now; other
wise, Victor could just delegate this duty to someone else.
The rec-room was NOT his hang out. He was much happier staying to
himself, perched alone somewhere enjoying the beauty of nature, or
working out in the gym. At least there was every imaginable gadget
and electronic toy to tweak his interest. He did love a good violent
video game just as well as the next psychopathic killer.
He took an unmarked CD along with a memory card out of his pocket,
and placed it in the video console. If he was going to spend the
night looking after a couple of kids, then he was going to be one
He made himself comfortable next to Hannah, while Roy stood close by.
The game picked up where Creed had saved. Almost instantly he was
feverishly beating on the helpless control buttons as the battle
raged on. Roy was blown away by it's sheer graphic violence. He never
dreamed he would see so much blood, guts, brains and pure goriness
splashed on a TV screen- and it all looked so real! "This is sooo
COOL!" Roy was beginning to believe that this may be the greatest day
of his life.
Without realizing that he was initiating a conversation with one of
the world's most brutal super-villains, Roy begin to question
Sabretooth, as if he were a long-lost uncle. "What game is this?" -TO