Fic: Harry Potter and the Big Round Room 3.5
- Interlude: War of the Muses
* Disclaimer in part One *
Our devious villains plot their er, devious plot. Oh dear,
that was rather redundant. Nevertheless, on we go....
Malarkey of a decidedly dark nature was brewing.
"Yes, yes we know that! Get to the freakin' point already!"
"Very well Civ. Why don't you narrate then if you're so keen on it?"
"I will. About time someone introduced us properly."
"Bloody finicky that one. Far too impatient and ruddy rude for her
own good." Our good narrator mumbled as he left the scene in Civ's,
Civ's rather hagish face appeared and several audience members let
out a scream of fright.......
"Ahhhhh! Oh my God! The horror, the horror!" said one.
"That is the most horrible, disgusting thing ever!" chimed a second.
"I want my mommy!" threw in another.
"Fuck off all of you! Kiss my ass! Go to hell and shove it where the
sun don't shine you wretched, terrible scum of the earth." Civ
"Excuse me Madame but if I may intercede, that is no way to address
an audience! I must insist you desist at once!"
"How dare you accuse my poor, sweet, brilliant FRIEND of these
malicious accusations?!" Binde the Ugly screamed in righteous
indignation on behalf of her friend.
All hell broke loose at her comment between the two haglets and the
"I'll rip you're bloody head off!"
"Cheater, that's been done before" Larice suddenly through out.
* Snikt * The mightly Wolverine entered the chamber of
confusion. "I'm gonna give you until the count of two to get back in
your goddamn plot point!"
To Logan's utter surprise, nobody moved. When suddenly......
"Mr. Logan, kindly inform me what the meaning of this tomfoolery is."
Severus Snape's silky voice cut through the cacophony.
Silence reigned as the motley crew pondered the question. Snape and
Logan both bellowed "Autumn!" at the same time.
Footsteps echoed across the vast chamber........
"Yes?" I asked calmly.
"Well, what seems to be the problem?"
"Them!" Snape said pointing at the haglets.
"Him!" Logan yelled pointing at Snape.
"Oh honestly! Can't you just knock it off with this childish
behavior? You're adults, act like it!" I exclaimed, somewhat annoyed.
"Here's the deal. Logan, go back to brooding in your corner, Snape
kindly return to your quarters. And you three," I said to the
haglets, "go back and do whatever it is you do."
The figures dutifully retreated leaving Geeves and myself in the
empty chamber. "Geeves love, please narrate the story as I asked.
Whitty comments and all. Don't be afraid to step on anybody's toes."
"Right. Miss? Do you realize how different the characters are in
your chosen universe? You've got X-Men mutants, English wizards and
some insidious original characters. I must say it could get a bit
"The cheerios. It was too much wasn't it."
"No. I liked the cheerios."
"Yes, well off I go. So we're set then? I don't have to referee any
"No miss. I've got it all under wraps."
"Alright then if you'd kindly introduce the next section please."
"Well actually miss, I thought we weren't doing that until
"Quite right. This inter-universe war has been taxing on creative
": Well I'll just run along then. Think up some witty remarks."
"Um Geeves? Aren't you forgetting something?"
"Righto." Geeves turned to face the audience.
"Due to conflicting voices of the muses, `Harry Potter and the Big
Round Room' shall be appearing a bit later this week. We do
apologize for this inconvenience."
"Well done Geeves. Care for a cup of tea?"
"Is it peppermint?"