New FF: "On Instinct" by MoJo (L/M) NC-17 3/4
- Title: "On Instinct" 3/4
Summary: "And she had hoped maybe. . .just maybe this time on the
road, something would happen between them."
Disclaimer in Part One.
My Web site: www.mojober.com/Fanfiction
Marie was beginning to wonder what was wrong with Logan. Or what was
wrong with her.
They'd been on the road for three days now, stopping only at night at
what were obviously his old haunts. Thankfully, there hadn't been
another Jenny but there also hadn't been another. . .whatever that
was outside the diner. She had the distinct impression he had wanted
to kiss her right then and there, but now she figured it was just
wishful thinking on her part.
"How much longer are you going to be?"
Marie looked up from the rack of clothing she was picking through and
at Logan, standing just outside the store. They had to stop in a
real city so she could get a few things since it was looking like
they were going to be gone for a while. She could tell Logan was
getting anxious. He was ready to get back on the road before dark,
but she vowed not before she was going to get some underwear at least.
"Just a few more minutes," she answered and he backed off.
Marie abandoned the rack and went straight for the underwear.
She'd imagined, fantasized actually, many times what it would have
been like if they hadn't been attacked on the road that day, if the X-
men hadn't come. It would have been just her and Logan, on the back
roads of Canada for miles and miles. Anything could've happened.
She'd been taken with him from the first moment she saw him in that
fighting cage, sweat dripping down his back. When he sat next to her
in the bar, watching her and watching that news report, she'd known
what he was and she knew she needed him. That was why she'd hid in
his trailer. And when he didn't leave her on the side of the road,
she figured he needed her just as much.
But that was then and this was now and much had happened in between.
They both had changed, become something more that what they were.
They had the Professor to thank for some of it, but they also had
Despite the promise of no more running, here they were running again
only this time, they were doing it together. Scared as she was, she
trusted him to take care of her. He'd promised, after all. And she
had hoped maybe. . .just maybe this time on the road, something would
happen between them.
It wasn't working out that way.
Marie sighed to herself and started picking through the bin of
underwear, most of it satins and silks. She pulled off one of her
gloves so she could feel the fabrics, feel how they'd feel against
her skin. They weren't the kind of underwear one would buy for just
for themselves. Rather, it was the type one bought to wear for
Marie's eyes turned up and there was Logan again. He looked at her,
then at the scrap of satin she was holding and raised an eyebrow
before turning his head.
"Are you about. . .done? There's. . .some big storm rolling in. I'd
like to make it at least as far as. . ."
Marie randomly picked out the first five pairs her size, wound around
him and dropped them on the counter. She sighed again and looked
over her shoulder at Logan. He was still standing there, rambling on
about where they were going to stop and the weather. She turned her
head back to find the saleswoman eyeing her and Logan as if she was
trying to figure how they fit together or why they were here.
She wasn't the only one.
Logan held the door to the tavern open for Marie. She scooted past
him, brushing the snow off her cloak before pushing her hood down.
It had started snowing earlier than predicted and the roads were
already pretty bad. The tavern was filled with other travelers
probably stranded for the night, like they'd probably be. Before he
could say something, Marie started walking off.
"Hey, where are you going?" he asked and she stopped and turned.
"Little girl's room," she informed him, raising both her eyebrows
up. "Or are you goin' to follow me in there, too?"
At first, Logan figured she was being smart but then he realized she
was serious. He wanted to go off on her right then and there about
how he was only concerned about her but instead just let her go. It
was easier than trying to explain himself.
There were so many things in his life he didn't have answers for. No
matter how hard he tried to find them, he always came up empty
handed. He never cared about himself, or anyone else for that
matter, until he'd met Marie. To lose her would be to lose the only
person who ever truly gave a shit about him and he just couldn't let
that happen. He liked having someone to take care of; he liked
Marie. He liked her a little too much for his own good.
The sudden voice in his head startled him. It would have sent him
into a panic if he didn't recognize who it was.
He turned his head and found her standing just behind him.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, his eyes flickering between her
and the bathroom door. He grabbed Jean by the shoulders and moved
her around the corner and out of view.
"I came to talk some sense into you," she said, looking down at his
hands until he moved them off. Jean lifted her eyes to his. "Well,
"Does Xavier know that?"
"He thought I'd be the most. . .logical choice," Jean answered,
careful not to give too much away. Logan was certain there was much
more to it she just wasn't telling.
"Well, I'm sorry but you came all the way out here for nothing," he
said firmly, trying to read Jean as best he could. "Unless you've
come to tell me they'd caught him."
"No," she replied, shaking her head regretfully.
"Then we have nothing to discuss," Logan resolved. He was bound and
determined for that to be the last word on the subject, but then Jean
reached out and laid her hand on his shoulder. Her touch was always
so calming that he often wondered if empathy was part of her 'gift'
"I think we do," she continued, her voice sympathetic like she
understood. Maybe she thought she did, but she didn't. "Logan, you
don't have to prove anything to Rogue, or to me, or yourself, for
"I'm not," he maintained, but he could tell Jean wasn't
convinced. "And stop looking at me like that. I promised her I'd
take care of her and I am, all right?"
"Are you sure that's all it is?" she questioned, fixing him with one
of her knowing stares. Logan felt his insides clench up. No, it
wasn't all there was and he hated the fact Jean knew it. Damn
"I take care of Rogue," he reiterated, not knowing what else to say
"And we take care of each other, Logan, or have you forgotten you're
part of a team now?" Jean stated, taking her hand off his shoulder
and folding her arms. Her expression became stoic and her voice
practical. "You're powerless against him and you know it. Come back
with me and we'll figure something out. The Professor has been doing
everything he can to secure the school. . ."
"Like last time?" Logan scoffed, shaking his head. "Thanks, but no
"If you won't listen to me, then at least listen to her," Jean said,
reaching out once more and catching him by the forearm. "This isn't
the life she wants. For either of you."
Her grip was unexpectedly strong as she held him in place. He looked
at her hand and then back at her before shaking it off.
"I'm just trying to make sure she has a life at all," he finished,
catching sight of Marie coming out of the bathroom. He exchanged one
final look with Jean before leaving her standing there in the
"Logan?" Marie queried as he walked up to her and took her by the
arm. "Hey. . ."
"C'mon, we've got to go," he said, pulling her along and not looking
back. Marie squirmed against him, but he held on just long enough to
get out of Jean's line of vision. He released her and she angrily
snapped her arm away, rubbing the space where his hand was.
"We can't go," Marie protested, glaring back at him. "It's snowin',
remember? And the roads are gettin' covered in ice."
"We can't stay here," he said, practically growling at her. Damn
it. Why did she have to question him on everything?
Marie's eyes widened as she looked up at him. And then he smelled
"Is he here?" she asked, her eyes widening even more.
"No," he said, trying to figure out what to tell her. He felt Jean's
presence in his head, lingering on the edges and it was making it
hard to think. He closed his eyes for a second and tried to make it
"Then what it is?" Marie pleaded. He felt her gloved hand clutching
at his clenched hand. "Logan?"
He opened his eyes and wrapped his fingers around hers before leading
her out into the snow.
Even at full speed, the wipers couldn't keep up with the severe
Marie's fingers dug into the seat as the truck hit another icy patch,
causing it to swerve. Her heart leapt into her throat and she
swallowed it down, just to hear it pounding in her ears instead. She
forced herself to open her eyes and look over at Logan. Both of his
hands were clamped onto the wheel, but she could sense he wasn't
really in control of the truck anymore. She glanced down at the
dashboard to check the mileage yet again. Surely, they were far
enough away now.
"You really should pull over," she said in a small, unsteady voice.
She didn't want to break his concentration, but she was scared. He
wasn't even wearing his seat belt and if they got into an
accident. . .
"Next town is just a few more miles ahead," he said through gritted
The truck swerved again and that was it. Marie had had enough. He'd
gone too far this time trying to protect her from. . .whatever it was
he thought he was protecting her from. It wasn't worth risking their
"Logan, Pull over!" she cried out, sounding every bit as frustrated
as she felt. "Please!"
Something in her fevered pitch must have gotten through because his
foot slipped onto the brake and they started to slow down. He
glanced over at her, then immediately pulled off the road. Logan
shifted the truck into park and turned the engine off. He sat back
and wiped his hand over his eyes.
"Sorry," he mumbled into his hand. "I'm sorry, Rogue."
They sat in silence, but it only increased the uneasy tension between
them. She folded her arms tight against her body and stared out the
window. Without the wipers, it quickly covered in snow. Without the
heater, it was getting cold. Marie kept looking over at him,
waiting for him to say something. . .anything but he kept quiet. It
only made her more frustrated and more angry.
"Should've stayed where we were," Marie said under her breath, her
eyes darting over at him. "Why couldn't we have stayed where we
"It wasn't safe," he snapped back, killing the lights. Now it was
dark on top of being cold.
That was followed by more silence.
"You're not gonna to tell me what was back there, are you?" she
asked, turning to look at him one more time. She felt angry tears
welling in her eyes as all that pent up emotion rose to the surface.
Again, more silence.
"You can keep runnin' if you want to, but you'll be runnin' by
That got his attention.
"What did you say?" Logan asked, finally looking back at her.
"You heard me," Marie said, standing her ground. "And don't worry.
I won't come after you this time."
She reached up to her neck and grabbed hold of the dog tag, his dog
tag. Without another word, she pulled it up and over her head before
throwing it down on the seat. The next thing she knew, she was out
of the truck and slamming the door. It didn't matter how hard it was
snowing or that they were stuck in the middle of nowhere. Nothing
mattered except getting as far and as fast away from Logan as
That was something Marie never thought she'd want, but at the moment,
Logan stared at the dog tag and then at the rear view mirror.
Between the darkness and storm, she was nearly out of sight already.
He should just fucking let her go if that's what she wanted to do.
Had he done that the first time, maybe she'd have been better off.
Or, she'd be dead.
"Rogue!" he called out as he flung the door open. He was hit by an
icy blast of air and he had to squint to see her through the falling
snow. If she heard him, she wasn't stopping. She just kept right on
going until he finally caught up with her, his hand reaching out for
her shoulder. "Would you just stop?"
She shrugged him off, but he caught hold of her cloak, then her elbow
with his fingers. Marie struggled even more, her arms flailing and
her hands forming fists she swung at him. Hard.
"Just leave me alone!" she cried as he caught her wrists.
"I'm not leaving you out here," he barked, then lowered his voice as
she finally stopped fighting him. Her dark eyes peered up at him
through the white streaks flying wildly around her face. "I
can't. . ."
"No, you can't," Marie repeated, as he moved his hands from her
wrists to her shoulders. She was shivering both from the cold and
from anger. "You can't change what happened to me by tryin' to stop
it from happenin' again."
"That's not what I'm doing."
Marie shook her head, teeth chattering, and his hands moved once
again. This time, to the sides of her head to steady her. Her eyes
opened up again and he felt his stomach bottom out. Deep down, he
knew she was right.
"What else was I supposed to do?" he whispered. "I don't know any
other way to protect you."
"I don't want you protectin' me," she asserted, setting her jaw. "I
only came with you because I thought. . .well, I thought wrong."
"No, you didn't," he said, lowering his eyes from hers and closing
Logan pulled her a little closer, closing the gap between them. Her
arms found their way around his waist, slipping under his jacket and
seeking warmth that wasn't there. She was the one who was warm and
alive, not him. He only felt like he was when he was with her.
Another icy blast passed over, chilling Logan right to the bone, to
the metal that lay grafted with it. It made him feel all that much
more numb, until she pressed her body completely up against his. He
wrapped his arms around her and suddenly running was the last thing
he wanted to do. The only thing involved Marie and to hell with
"It's really, really cold. . ." she said, twisting her head upwards
to his. She shivered again as the snow kept falling, covering them
both in white.
"It's fucking freezing, that's what it is," he concluded, letting go
just enough to look back at the truck before looking up. He couldn't
tell if it was getting worse or not. "Think we can make it to the
"I think so," Marie said, huddling close as he figured out how to get
the truck back on the road.
To be continued
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