Fic: Who you callin' unhealthy?! (PG, S/J, Kitty)
- Title: Who you callin' unhealthy?!
Author's website: Http://www.angelfire.com/de2/TTO
Pairing: S/J, Kitty
Rating: PG-ish, a few naughty words, nothing you can't handle :-)
Summary: Kitty takes extreme measures of getting Jean out of her
Notes: This fic contains 80% sillyfic, 10% lack of sleep and another
This hasn't been beta-read yet.
Today was the 2nd anniversary of my first meeting with Scott Summers.
I remember coming to the mansion in a cab and there he was, waiting
for me at the top of the stairs. He came down, opened the back door of
the cab. Then he smiled at me, said hello, and promised me he'd show
me around once I was done with Professor Xavier.
I also remember getting lost constantly over a week because instead of
listening to him, I had been busy staring at his ass. Not a bad
At the time, I had no idea Scott was seeing Ms. B... Ooops, I mean Ms.
Grey. She came flouncing at the mansion a few weeks later than I did.
I watched her drape herself on *My* Scott and doing an uncanny
imitation of a mating leech.
Scott told me later that Ms. Grey was going to teach us biology. But I
wanted *him* to teach me biology! Privately. In my bedroom. Or his,
he's got a king-sized bed.
As you can guess, I never paid much attention in Ms. Grey's class. I
was too busy poking needles in my Jean-Grey-lookalike voodoo doll. I
got Scott to tutor me, tough. The universe loves me.
Anyway, it's late, and I can hardly keep my eyes open. The only reason
I'm up this late is that Scott will always check the student's rooms
after lights-out. He's late today, no doubt playing with that little
slut in his room.
Footsteps. Finally. I'll just hide my diary, open my math book and
pretend to have fallen asleep on it...
My plan worked like I'd never dreamed of. I thought he'd just wake me
up and tell me to go to bed, but instead, he lifted me up on his arms,
took me to my bed, laid me down, tucked me in and before turning off
the bedside light, he kissed me on the forehead. Before he shut the
door to my room I carefully cracked my eye open and took a good look
at his behind. That back, that ass....
Suffice it to say that the NC-17 rating wouldn't have done justice to
my dreams last night. They probably would have sent Logan screaming
for the hills.
Anyway, I'm off to class. Scott always smiles at me when I show up in
his class, as I'm always the first one there. Oh, I could tell you my
millions of fantasies of those five minutes before the others show
An opportunity to spend more time with Scott presented itself today
when Scott was planning on taking Jean to a movie. Jean had to cancel
her plans, when she got sick after dinner. And since he was already
taken the car out of the garage, I told him I wouldn't mind seeing
that movie myself. So me and Scott went to the movie I had seen three
times before, while Jean lay sick in her bed.
How was I to know Jean was allergic to garlic?
What do you mean I wasn't supposed to be in the kitchen at all?
Oh, I'm so glad I got you back from that conniving little witch!
While Scott and I were enjoying ourselves at the movies, she had snuck
in my room and stolen you! My poor baby.
She was sitting in a chair in my room when I got back, and threatened
to show you to Scott, if I didn't get my mind off him.
I responded in kind by phasing into Scott's room, getting you back
from her nightstand (she really is as dumb as a post), then stealing
her diary. I then visited the school's copy machine, copied the diary,
especially one page where she told, in detail, of a night when she
snuck in Logan's room.
And I thought my fantasies were dirty.
And that infamous page ended up on the school notice board, enlarged.
It would have been interesting to see what would've happened if she
hadn't got to it before anyone else did. Too bad she missed the copy I
had left on Scott desk in his office.
Scott was 20 minutes late for class this morning. I went by his office
later this afternoon and it looked like a hurricane had hit it. Jean
came down the hallway, looking terrible. My inner bitch cheered.
I would've offered Scott my shoulder to cry on, but he took off on his
bike before I had the chance.
Note to self: Camp out in the garage until he comes back. And remember
to pack strawberries and whipped cream for dinner.
Nothing's getting that leech out of his room! Scott had come back late
last night, and they'd apparently talked everything through. Scott was
satisfied after she assured him that sleeping with Logan had been only
a one time thing, that would never happen again.
Imagine all the things you can hear when you open the ventilation
shaft hatch upstairs just so.
While Jean was moving her things back from the guestroom back into
Scott's room, a chair 'accidentally' wound up against her door.
And with Jean locked in her room, I finally made my move on Scott.
I went into his office, where my target was unsuspectingly grading
papers. I locked the door behind me as he watched, not sure what was
going on. Then I pulled my short black dress over my head, tossing it
on the floor behind me. His cheeks flushed when he noticed I had
nothing underneath the dress.
Then he came over me, put his own cardigan over my shoulders. He
probably didn't want me to get cold. How sweet of him.
He took my to my room, made me promise to stay there, and left my
room. He even locked the door, just in case. He's probably run out of
condoms. He'll be back any minute. Any minute now.
The next thing Kitty knew was that she was in the medlab. The
Professor, Scott and Jean were all staring at her.
"I'm sorry, professor, but this can't continue! You'll have to do
something to her" Scott said.
"Maybe you could have a threesome?" the Professor suggested. Scott
gave him 'The Glare'. "And don't give me the pre-heat stare, it won't
work on me."
"Professor, fry her brains out. Make her forget Scott!" Jean was
crying. "She's been so mean to me! Get in her mind and make her stay
away from him!"
"But I don't want to!"
"Do it or I'll glue a wig on you!"
"Scott, Jean's being mean to me. Blast her. That's an order!"
"Jean, stop teasing the Professor or I'll elope with Kitty. Professor,
get in Kitty's mind or I'll help Jean with the glue."
The Professor sighed. "Fine. What do you want me to do?"
"Do that thing you do where you make them radically change their
behavior" Jean suggested.
"Oh that thing" the Professor said, then wheeled behind Kitty, put his
hand on her temple, and used the other hand to hit her in the head
with a frying pan.
I did all my homework in schedule today, and went over tomorrow's
lesson, just in case. Mr. Summers told me I'm one of his best
students. But sometimes I catch him looking at me funny.
I think Mr. Summers has a crush on me.
Well, we've all got issues.