Fic: "Where The Lost Ones Go" R (1/1) [Xavier, (Magneto) ]
- Hi all,
Warning: This story has a very mild Xavier/Magneto pairing but the R rating is
for the tone in this fic. Comparison piece to "World In Flames".
This is Xavier's tale.
Where The Lost Ones Go By Nadja Lee 12/03/02
English is not my native language. Please forgive me my mistakes.
Disclaimer: X-men and all the characters here belong to Marvel, 20 Century Fox and I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.
Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.
Timeline: Set in the movie universe. After the movie.
Universe: Set in the movie universe; NOT the book which goes with it.
Romance: Xavier/Erik (Magneto)
Summary: Charles thinks about his relationship with Erik (Magneto) and his view on the world.
Archiving: Want, ASK, take, have.
Feedback: Yes, please. My e-mail address is nadjalee2000@...
Sequel/series: Comparison piece to World In Flames
When I write these letters to you I often think what youll think the day you read them. Will my words surprise you, touch you, move you .change you? I dont know and maybe its best like that.
Im sad that it had to end like this, that youre now in jail. I know it must be painful and hard for you ..Im truly sorry but you have been sentenced accordingly to the law and for the crime you committed; I cant change that no matter how much I want to.
It gets more and more painful for me to visit you every week, knowing I can go free and youll be forced to stay locked up. I see the pain in your eyes; the agony. It has always been there; I can count on my fingers the times Ive seen you smile yet this is still different. I see how difficult it is for you; how past and present threaten to mix completely. In my heart I wish someone would help you and set you free but my mind forbids that someone to be me.
You probably wont believe me but I kept our wedding picture. When Im alone I take it forth and looks at it and remembers happier times for the years we spend together were the happiest I had. But it didnt last; we both knew it couldnt. We were too different and .well, there were a lot of reasons. If I wanted to make a difference I had to blend in, I had to play by their rules. I was raised to believe loving you was wrong, that being with you was wrong. I still cant shake the shame from me when I dream of you, think of you when I want you back. The poison they planted in me isnt easily killed and it ended up killing our love. Im sorry for that. The past never lets go; you know that better than most.
You dont fight today for the future but mainly for the past. You remember what happened during WW2 and youre angry that no one was there for you, helped you .and you feel guilty for being alive. It is common and natural but dont use your pain as a weapon. Dont say this is about human-mutant relations or even interracial relations. Your fight is for yourself and in your fight you have overlooked that you have become what you hate most; like them. You see a human and think he wants to kill you; you see a white man and think hes a racist. Colour doesnt define people but it has to work both ways; just because your human or white doesnt make you evil but on the other hand just because youre a mutant, poor or coloured doesnt make you a good person either. Your actions define who you are; not your colour.
Through the ages there have been many wars, many deaths. Lets not add to that number. Its like rings in the water; first theyre small but in time they grow. But someone has to start them. Let that someone be me ..join me; dont fight me. Wars for any reason, for any cause are wrong. Whore you to decide which cause is more just than another? Whos right and whos wrong? Who are you to say that sons have to die and mothers have to cry? Dont you see youll be just like them?
Things can be turned around; we can change. We have to believe for without hope what is left? If we all believed war and hate was all humans did then the world would fall apart. Remember all the great leaders, all the men and women who have fought for freedom and justice. To fight is to ignore all they stood for, is to disrespect their death. The most clear cry for antiviolence and anti-war of any kind is when Jesus chooses to die rather than fight. I know what youre thinking; people who play fair will never beat those who doesnt follow the rules but think about it; what would be the difference between him and me if we both played unfairly? None. None what so ever.
All major religions abolish violence; Jews, Muslims, Christians In all the worlds religions one of the most sacred commandments are not to kill. If I kill your son and you kill me; what makes you less a murderer than me? If you kill and the state judges you worthy of death what is then the difference? Only God have the right to judge and only He can give out punishment. Call him God, Jahva, Allah choose any name but its the same thing. None have the right to judge for no human is perfect and therefore no judgement can be 100% right.
The nature of humans and our society demands the guilty be punished but that judgement doesnt have to match the crime in cruelty. We can do it better if we only try and dont you see? We are trying to make it better. Once next to all crimes were punished by death now its not so.
We have so little time on this world; lets not waste it fighting.
The world has changed. It is happening as we speak. The world sees all; when theres a conflict the world steps in, when Africa starves the world steps in, when a country is in need the world is there. The world cares for more than itself. We can change. Look at all the changes we made in the 60s. Were nowhere there yet but were moving in the right direction. We can do this if we all stand together; if we believe if we have hope.
I wish you could understand; I wish you could see. There is a system, therere rules we have to follow. The rules may not always be upheld but theyre all we have. If we move outside the law we prove to them that were as dangerous as they think we are. We have to prove ourselves the better person; we have to show people they can trust us, that were no danger.
I believe in second chances and you should too. Youve been through Hell; dont recreate that Hell for others. Give others the second chance you never got. Dont judge them like they judged you. Prove yourself to be better than that. Be stronger than that. Look at the big picture.
After my death Ive willed it so these letters Ive written to you will be send to you. I cant break free, I cant be myself ..Im too old to change now and Ive worked too hard to gain this position in society where people will listen to me; my happiness is a small sacrifice for world peace, dont you think so? Hmm .no, I know you dont.
Time passes by so quickly and theres no more time for you and me. The day where you and me can walk hand in hand down the street without fearing getting arrested, yelled at, avoided or harassed are long in coming and I fear we wont live to see them but one day .one day that day will come and thats the day I fight for.
Maybe reading this will help you through and make you understand ..I did love you and I still do. I just cant say it. Forgive me for that.
I have a dream; I see all the people of this world living together in peace. If everyone dreams with me well obtain that dream. Put hate, anger and revenge aside. Those feelings will bring you nothing but grief. What has ever come from killing but more killing?
Let the past lie, my friend. It is time to move on and move on in peace. If nothing else then you deserve peace after all this time. Let go of hate and distrust. They gave you the scars but you never let them heal. Heal yourself now. Set yourself free. You have the power to do so.
Dont be like them; dont hate. Forgive and move on. You have to leave the past to have a future.
Dont fight war with war, dont fight hate with hate. That is not the way. Dont be like them. Be free ..stop hating and youll stop hurting. Forgive them, forgive yourself and move on.
Think about it, my friend and my love .think about it.