West-Dead (X-Men the movie)
- Title: West-dead
Author: Katta (head_overheels@...)
Fandom: X-Men the movie
Archive: Yup, but if you have any reason to believe I dont know of you,
tell me first.
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Marvel Comics, and I mean no copyright
infringement by using them. The plot is based on a true story.
Thanks to: Jill (took you long, though!), Sharon and Laura for beta reading.
Summary: Kittys poster is kidnapped.
Due to sleepiness, not to mention her socks unfortunate tendency to discard
their mates on a hurried morning, Kitty Pryde was late for class. She
finally picked a pair that may not have been in the shop together, but were
both white and approximately the same fashion, and headed off. Even though
she should, as a well-behaving student, be far too busy to notice her
surroundings, she did see that something was missing on her door. Such as a
rather big poster of the boyband Westlife she had been given as a joke for
her latest birthday. Instead, there was now only a computer-written note.
She stared at it for a second, and then took it down from the wall to stare
at it again, bringing it with her to class.
Im glad to see you have chosen to join us, professor Xavier said as she
stumbled into his office a few minutes later. Have a seat. We were
discussing possible solutions to the energy problem.
Kitty sat down next to Jubilee and listened to Sam giving pros and cons of
nuclear power. After a while she slowly slid the note over to Jubilee, who
bent down to take a look. Her ear-rings started jumping in subdued laughter.
*Girls, let it wait until after class,* Xavier chided them mentally, and
Kitty hurried to shove the note into her book, blushing a little. She could
see Jubilee mouth Bobby and nodded. That was the reasonable explanation.
After class, they both grabbed Bobby and pushed him up against the corridor
wall in mock interrogation position.
Come on, Iceman, fess up! Jubilee said, imitating TV cops. Where is it?
Wheres what? Bobby asked, squirming to get loose, although in honesty he
didnt squirm very hard.
My Westlife poster, Kitty said. Youre the one who kidnapped it, arent
Kidnap a poster?
Bobby sounded genuinely surprised, and the girls looked at each other.
Maybe he wasnt the guilty one after all. Kitty took the folded note from
her physics book, reading out loud:
Listen carefully! We have kidnapped Westlife. In order to return them
unharmed, we demand 1,000,000 gingerbread men to be placed in boxes in the
library, where the exchange will then take place. If you do not pay up,
Westlife will soon become West-dead. Further instructions will follow.
Bobby was giggling, but his surprise seemed genuine. Sorry, I have nothing
to do with it. I wish I did, though. Its a brilliant idea.
It would fit your tastes, yes, Jubilee said, letting go of Bobby with a
shrug towards Kitty. Either Bobby was a better actor than they thought he
was, or he was indeed not guilty. But if he wasnt, who was? The rest of the
class were already halfway down the hall, and the girls watched them with a
sort of aimless interest. Most of them were capable of a few tricks, but no
one was more likely than any other.
They both turned around at the buzz as the professor wheeled out of the
classroom. Hello again.
He looked vaguely amused, and Kitty wondered if he had been listening in,
or read their minds. Then a thought struck her. Professor, couldnt you
find out who has taken my poster?
I could, I suppose. He took the note from her hands and read it through.
His face turned blank for a few seconds, and then he shook his head very
slowly. Yes, I could... but I rather think that would spoil the fun.
But professor... Kitty protested.
He gave the note back and proceeded down the corridor. I believe youre
due to French?
Logan and Rogue were sitting in the common room, watching a nature program.
It wasnt the kind of show where lion cubs are given cute voices and shown
tripping on logs.
Watch now, he said, pointing with his can of beer at the giant snake on
the screen. It doesnt even *swallow* its prey.
Uh-huh, Rogue said, sounding as enthusiastic as you possibly can with
your head half buried in a cushion. Logan glanced in her direction and
grinned a little.
Hey! Kitty said, stopping on her way past when she saw the two of them
sitting in front of the TV. Have either of you two taken my Westlife
I wouldnt touch your Westlife poster with a twenty-foot pole, Logan
said, not taking his eyes off the screen.
I take it that means no, Kitty said. Rogue?
No, sweetie, I didnt take it, Rogue said, voice muffled by the cushion.
Do you know who might have?
I asked Bobby, he said no. Very convincingly, I might add. There was
nothing in his room either.
Rogue let the cushion fall down. You searched Bobbys room?
Its a kidnapping, Kitty said with a sweet smile. You never play by the
Rogue shook her head. Senator Kelly was right about you.
If you excuse me, Kitty said, not letting her dignity be disturbed by
that comment, Ill go search some other rooms as well.
She left the common room, and Rogue turned to stare at Logan, who was
trying to hide his amusement. You know what the worst part is? Theres no
locking her out.
Damn. Logan looked momentarily stirred. She wouldnt dare go into mine,
Mail was normally handed out during supper, and without much comment. Some
of the kids got mail often, some never, and that was all there was to it.
Kitty was therefore rather surprised when Ororo stopped in front of her with
an odd look on her face, staring at a letter.
Is there one for me? Kitty asked. Her parents wrote to her from time to
time, but she could think of nothing they would send her that would cause
such a reaction.
Yes. Ororo handed the letter over and shook her head. It just says Miss
Pryde in typed letters. Theres not even an address.
With a growing sense of suspicion mixed with excitement, Kitty opened the
letter. The font was different this time, but the tone was similar:
Do you perhaps think you are more clever than me? Lets see if you are. The
poster is in one of Scotts books. Find it, or pay me. If you do neither, I
will be forced to take measures neither you nor Westlife will enjoy.
Oh, no! Kitty said, shading her eyes. I am a stricken woman.
Bobby leaned over her, and she hit his hand.
Dont you dare! Youre still on the list of suspects!
What will it take to make you trust me? Bobby asked, reading over her
shoulder. Well, this is good news, isnt it? At least you know where to
Kitty looked across the room at Cyclops, who was currently engaged in a
discussion with Jean. He was in a good mood, that was clear, but she still
felt nervous at the thought of going over to him and ask permission to
search his room. She wondered how the kidnapper could have gotten the poster
there in the first place.
Moral support, anyone? *Not* you, she added when Bobby started raising
Youre bullying me, Bobby pouted.
Ill go, Piotr offered in a low voice. It was unexpected, but Kitty
relaxed at the thought.
Thanks. I dont think hell strike me dead if youre there with me. He
might, but I dont think he will.
She rose from her seat, and with a here goes grimace and her heart in her
mouth, she went up to Scotts table. Piotrs presence behind her gave very
Mr. Summers... I was wondering... If I could search your room. What a
completely idiotic thing to say. If I could search your room.
She couldnt tell if he was staring at her, but judging from the rest of
his face, he most likely was. What?
Well... I got this note, see... that my poster is in one of your books.
There was the tiniest snicker coming from Jean, but Scott didnt move a
muscle. Kitty forced herself to wait for a reply and was more than grateful
when Piotr put a hand on her shoulder.
Ill go through my books and see if I can find anything, Scott said,
returning his attention to his meal. When Kitty didnt move, he looked up
again. Thank you, Kitty.
The kids returned to their own table, Kittys cheeks hot with
embarrassment. I can *not* believe I just did that.
He did say he would look for it, Piotr tried to comfort her. If he
Oh, he will, Kitty said. He always keeps his promises. She shook her
head. I dont think its in there at all. Can you imagine anyone trying to
sneak into his bedroom?
Only about half the girls, Bobby said, attacking his pizza slice.
But its not much of a sport if theyre lying in the notes, is it? Piotr
said. I mean, that would take a rather lame sense of humour.
Kitty pondered that. She then pondered the sense of humour evident in most
of her classmates. With a melodramatic sob, she leaned her head on her arms.
Westlife is lost forever!
Kitty, wait a second, Scott said after his mechanics class. Kitty remained
in the doorway while the others passed by, waiting for her teacher to say
I have looked through all my books. Theres no poster in any of them.
Oh. She wasnt entirely surprised, although it bothered her to be playing
with someone who cheated on the rules. It occurred to her that Cyclops
probably thought this was a ridiculous waste of time. They had enough
trouble with real villains to worry about pretend kidnappers. Well, its
not very important, I guess.
She started to leave, but he called her back. Kitty... giving up at this
stage is hardly a recommended strategy.
It would have been so much easier if she could see if he was winking. As it
was, she simply shrugged and left. Okay, so not giving up. What then?
Hey! Jubes had been waiting around and now came up behind her. What did
He said he couldnt find it, and that I should keep looking.
He did? Jubilee grinned. Well then, I think we should. Never ask a
fearless leader to do something you can do yourself.
It took Kitty half a second to understand what Jubilee meant, mainly
because the thought hadnt really occurred to her. Jubes... Im not going
through Cyclops room. Im simply not.
He has a Danger Room session next, Jubilee reminded her. And Dr. Grey
just left for D.C.
Jubes... Kitty whined, but Jubilee dragged her away into the mansion and
almost pushed her through the wall.
Kitty stumbled into Scott and Jeans bedroom and stuck her head through the
wall to remind Jubilee, This is exactly the sort of thing that is
discouraged by the faculty.
Yes, youre a very bad mutant, Jubilee said, putting a hand on Kittys
forehead to force her back through the wall again.
Kitty shrugged and looked around to see if she could find anything. Being
in a teachers room -- two teachers room -- was most definitely strange,
and she tried to not look at anything personal. That was rather hard,
considering that the items closest to her were a dressing table and an
overfull basket of laundry. Ignoring this, she moved on to the bookshelves.
Figures they wouldnt just have a nice little thing above the bed. There was
no way she would be able to lift out all these books and not have Cyclops
notice. He noticed *everything*. She returned to the corridor wall and stuck
her head through the door. You dont care to help me?
Jubilee was having a conversation with Piotr, who waved at Kitty with a
friendly smile. She frowned at him. What are you doing here?
Helping out? Piotr suggested. I want to see if you find anything.
Yeah, like a needle in a haystack? Kitty said, turning to Jubilee. Will
you help me out?
Okay. Kitty drew back and unlocked the door. It wasnt until she held it
open for Jubilee that the logical conclusion occurred to her. You know, if
they *lock* their bedroom door, isnt it extremely unlikely that the poster
is actually hidden here?
Kurt could have hidden it, Jubilee pointed out, going inside. She
immediately started pulling out books in a way that didnt suggest shed
remember where she had taken them.
You dont think they would have noticed if Kurt had teleported in here?
But of course, Jubilee wasnt to be let down by logic. She had started
shaking the books, one by one, before putting them back into the shelves.
The clouds of dust she raised hardly helped the condition of the floor.
Kitty decided to ignore that for the time being. They were past the point of
return anyway, no use in whining about it.
Half an hour later, they had gone through every book in the room, including
paperbacks that fell apart when they shook them. Stacks formed on the floor,
and keeping up order was simply impossible. They were incredibly busted,
even if Piotr did manage to keep people away from the room until they had
So, theres no way we can go with complete denial on this one, is there?
Jubilee asked after pushing in the last few books into the shelves.
Kitty shook her head and sighed. Afraid not.
They left the bedroom, and Kitty reached a hand in to lock the door.
Nothing? Piotr asked, seeing the girls displeased faces.
Just a very tell-tale mess, Kitty replied.
He patted her on the shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. Well, they
cant kick you out, at least.
Theyre not playing fair, Jubilee said with heat. She cared less about
potential punishment than about winning the game. Thats the problem.
I think they are playing fair, Kitty protested. We must have missed a
clue or something.
So ask for another one, Piotr suggested.
The girls stared at him. As embarrassing as it was to plead for help from
kidnappers, it was well within common procedure.
Okay, so how about this: Please, Mr. kidnapper...
It could be a girl, Jubilee pointed out.
Fine. Please, Mr. or Ms. kidnapper, I am but a poor girl and dont have a
million ginger bread men. I cant find Westlife, and I ask you to be
merciful on me.
Yeah, okay, that would work, Jubilee said, and then immediately dived
back into her notes. They were sitting in the library, supposedly working on
a Social Studies project, and Ororo was heading their way. Obviously
conversation was always relaxed during group work, all the teachers knew
about that, but common courtesy said that you always pretend to be working
when a teacher approaches.
Hows it going, girls? Ororo asked.
Fine, Kitty said, putting the note into her book and instead showing the
work they had actually done in between their chatting. Ororo glanced at
their notes, but didnt seem all that interested.
This is very good... but Kitty, theres something else I would like you to
do as well. Scott and I have decided that it would be best if you handed in
an essay next week on why anarchy isnt the optimal form of society. Five
pages, by Tuesday.
This said, Ororo left, and Jubilee gave Kitty a sympathetic grimace. Well,
if Scott came up with it, he could have decided on something much worse.
Well, if Im going to do it, youre going to do it too, Kitty said.
Searching their bedroom was never my idea.
Thats right, just say youre an innocent bystander. Never works in a
court of law, but nevertheless always tried.
By this time, the whole school knew about Kittys problem, and the next
time she was handed a letter, Rogue and Bobby who sat closest leaned over in
Miss Pryde, Kitty said, grinning. Finally, another clue!
As clues went, it turned out to be a rather poor one. Kitty shook out a
small plastic hand attached to a keyring, and after a bit more searching she
found a tiny note: Next time it will be a real one.
That wasnt very helpful, Bobby said, reading over her shoulder. Whats
it supposed to mean?
If I get it correctly, theyre saying we already have all the clues we
need, Kitty said gloomily. I just wish I knew what they were.
Scotts books, Bobby said. Except that it turned out to be false.
Kitty frowned. Bobby was one of the few students that actually called
Cyclops Scott. So if he wasnt guilty, could it be one of the adults? It
didnt seem very likely.
Maybe its not one of his personal books, Rogue suggested. It could be a
school book. Didnt a note say something about the library?
The exchange was supposed to take place there. Kitty pondered this, and
came to the conclusion that Rogues suggestion was quite good. Okay, after
After dinner there were five of them going up to the library, since both
Piotr and Jubilee asked to come along. They had seen to much of this to want
to miss anything.
So, where do we start? Jubilee asked, eyeing the long shelves that were
organized after name, rather than subject. Anyone remember any authors?
Marlin, said Piotr, picking out that book and shaking it. Nothing
happened. You know, it would be much easier if there was just a Geography
*And* mechanics, *and* Spanish, Rogue pointed out.
Maybe if there was a Scott section... Kitty stopped short with a book
still in her hand, and then pushed it in, quickly walking up past the
shelves. She had just come up with the reason the note had said Scott
instead of Cyclops or Mr. Summers, and once she was at the letter S she
started shaking books eagerly. Bobby gave her a strange glance, but the
others kept up what they were doing until she suddenly gave a triumphant
shriek. A folded up piece of paper had just fallen out of The Heart of
They all gathered around as Kitty unfolded it, revealing the smiling faces
of the Westlife boys. Ladies and gentlemen, the case is solved.
What are those? Jubilee asked, pointing at little strips of paper taped
over the eyes and mouths of the poster boys.
Gags and blindfolds, Rogue was the first to say, even though Kitty and
Piotr were almost as quick. Kitty laughed and stroked the poster gently.
My poor boys, you must have suffered. But dont you worry, everythings
Jean and Scott were coming home from a movie and were passing by the common
room, where most of the kids were gathered watching TV. The program came to
a commercial break, playing the hit single Queen of my Heart to advertise
a record shop, and all the kids burst into wild laughter.
Its all thanks to us! Kitty cheered, lying on the sofa. Teenage girls
around the world should be thanking me!
Or cursing you, Bobby pointed out.
Shut up, Bobby.
Scott and Jean stopped, watching the kids without actually making their
presence known, and Scott put his hand on Jeans shoulder. She turned to him
with a smile and told him through their link, *Alls well that ends well.*
*Easy for you to say. Who is going to put our books back in order?*
Her smile widened, and he gripped her a bit harder. Not hard enough to be a
pinch, just to show he wasnt entirely pleased. *Youre really much too
childish for your age, you know that?*
*Excuse me? Whose idea was the plastic hand?*
*I always try to give in to my ladys wishes.* But the dimples were
beginning to show in his stern face. *Besides, it was fun.*
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