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FIC: My Bloody Valentine

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  • Autumn Biggins
    Title: My Bloody Valentine Author: Autumn E-mail: dyslexic_crisco_penguin_fiend@hotmail.com Summary: Valentines Day Gets a Facelift........ Tis a sillyfic.
    Message 1 of 1 , Feb 14, 2002
      Title: My Bloody Valentine

      Author: Autumn

      E-mail: dyslexic_crisco_penguin_fiend@...

      Summary: Valentines Day Gets a Facelift........ Tis a sillyfic.

      Rating: PG-13 language, implied violence


      February 14th
      The Distant, but not TOO distant (ahem, Singer) future......

      Twas a pleasant winter's day at Xavier's Palace of Funk. The
      grass was green and trees were abloom, and all the happy shiny people
      were-I'm telling the wrong story aren't I? Airplane glue is for
      approved uses only, must remember that....................

      Scratch that!
      February 14th New York

      A young blonde haired man of around 19 crept into position at
      the end of the X-Men's hallway of living quarters."

      " Blue Heron do you copy?"

      "I copy Cardinal."

      "Move into position, is Vulture ready?"

      "Fuck off."

      "That's a negative Vulture. Would take too much time, and we've
      only got an 18 minute window here."

      "Shut up! There's someone coming, hit the deck!"

      The sound of footsteps can be heard clicking along the tile of
      the floor. The muffled noise from a door being opened and shut again
      alerts the three bandits that they're in the clear.

      "You two, let's move out!"

      The three stooges shuffle out onto the second floor balcony where
      unbeknownst to the soon-to-be victim, a mic is in place and the stage
      has been set.......

      "Ow! What was that for moi petite?"

      "You know perfectly well you jerk!"

      "No, I am afraid de Gambit is in de dark. Bring him to the light

      "Roses are red
      Violets are black
      You'll look much better
      When I get you in the sack?"

      "Ma cherie, I swear I did not write such a foul ting!"

      Alas, that did not stop the captured Cajun from getting a handful
      of Jubilation Lee's rage. The three pranksters moved to the edge of
      the railing with barely contained laughter. It was a struggle for
      all three of them to keep the giggles-er manly chuckles from
      escaping, but they best not get out or the plan would surely be
      The guilty parties burst through the door of the balcony and
      collapsed in a great heap against the heavy wooden door. The three
      men laughed heartily until the burliest of the three
      interrupted, "Shut up. I hear someone."
      As before, the three took up their respected stations and
      waited. Soon enough the sound of high heels could be heard in the
      hallway. As the door opened and shut, the barefooted men sprinted
      down the hallway into Logan's room, which was equipped with three
      telescoped sighted in on the garage which like the patio was equipped
      with a miced sound system. Approximately two minutes later, the
      fireworks exploded.
      Dr. Jean Grey stomped over to where her fianc� was at work on
      his motorcycle and kicked it over. He Scott jumped up to find
      himself face to face with a very pissed off Jean.
      "Scott I know we've been fighting lately, but this was just
      plain cruel!" she said in a shaking voice as she handed him the
      offending article. He began to read it aloud.

      "Roses are red
      Violets are black
      You'd look much better
      With a knife in your back. You really think I wrote that?"

      "I wouldn't put it past you. And as far as I'm concerned, we're
      over. Happy fucking Valentines day!" Jean shouted before ripping off
      her engagement ring and throwing it in his face.

      Bobby and Logan simultaneously turned to look at St. John,
      author of aforementioned poem.
      "It's for the best" he succinctly stated.

      Bobby clapped a hand on his back and complimented the young
      man "nice damage bro'" before the two blonde men exited the room to
      enjoy the last of the festivities.
      After two rather amusing editions, the two waited in
      preparation of what was to evolve from the third and final set-up.
      To Bobby's surprise, St. John walked past their target area
      and appeared to be fleeing the building. "Where're you going?"
      "I really, really think we should observe this from a safer
      "John! You were supposed to be `helpful.' Logan is going to
      kill you, and drag me down with you."
      "I couldn't help myself. Besides, that's what friends are
      From their new location in the greenhouse, the two friends
      sat back and waited with some excitement and some trepidation of what
      was to pass.
      "Since this will mean a certain death by clawing, this had
      better be funny as hell John." Bobby informed his friend in a
      threatening tone.
      "It is, now turn the volume up there. She just walked in."

      Meanwhile back at the farm��..

      A rather angry Rogue entered the lair of the Wolverine with a
      deceptively calm expression on her face. "Did you write this Logan?"



      "Yeah" he said now shifting uncomfortable. John had assured him this
      would be good�..

      "Roses are red
      Lettuce is green
      I like your legs
      And everything in between."

      "I'll explain later, I have a couple of birds too kill." He
      explained before vaulting down the hallway, and out the mansion to go



      Shut up and serve your purpose-DOGMA
      Dude, let's make sure we don't piss Cartman off again.-South Park "Scott
      Tenerman Must Die!"

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