FIC: Fifth Period (1/1) - PG, Roguecentric foof/silliness
- Title: Fifth Period (1/1)
Author: Donna Bevan
Category: foof - sheer foof
Summary: You'd think a mutant would do well in genetics class, wouldn't
you? Personal interest, and all ;)
Disclaimer: If you think it's mine, then start taking your drugs
again. Besides, you'd look better without the tin foil hat.
Note: This is for Khaki's "opening sequence" challenge. It's silly. It's
very nearly retarded. But it was fun to write. ;)
They died instantly. The girls, however, didn't figure it out until the
Fifth period, to be exact.
Rogue gasped in shock, then slammed her gloved hand down on the
black-topped table. "I do not *believe* this!"
Jubilee raised her head from the table, blinking at the outburst. Upon
seeing Rogue's exasperated expression, she removed her earphones and
narrowed her eyes. "Dude Tell me it didn't."
"You know it, " she growled in response, gritting her teeth. "Look at this
- teeny little carcasses everywhere."
Jubilee cringed. This wasn't good. Not only had Rogue been in a foul mood
to beat all other foul moods for the last three weeks, but she'd already
lost several colonies. More deaths equaled badness, not to mention summer
Jubilee *hated* summer school.
Hank McCoy, meanwhile, had taken note of the commotion and lumbered
over. "Is everything quite all right, Miss Rogue? Are you having a
problem with your Drosophilae?"
"You're damn skippy I'm havin' a problem," she replied unthinkingly. Then
her hand flew to her mouth. "I'm sorry, Dr. McCoy. I'm *so* sorry."
"It's quite fine, " he reassured her. "What is the matter?"
She looked miserably at the tube in he hand. "It happened again," she said
"Oh, dear." Hank peered down at the tube over his half-spectacles. "What
did you -- I mean, how?"
Rogue sighed. "Just like the last three times. I put the Flytrap -- "
"Er, don't you mean Flynap?"
She nodded, blushing. "Yeah, that stuff. I put it in the tube, and we
counted them. But that was yesterday, and they still haven't woken up."
Hank rubbed his blue furry chin. Perplexed, he studied the specimens and
equipment scattered across the table. He took the tube in question from
Rogue's hand and shook it gently. Sure enough, there was no movement
within it, just a layer of dark bodies on top of the aqua-green sludge at
He sighed. "Did you get Flynap on the stopper?"
"What about the tube? Did you rap it hard enough to make them stick to the
"Uh-uh. Jubes watched."
"Hmm." He paused, then checked the table again. "Where's the wand you used?"
Rogue merely blinked up at him. "Wand?"
"Yes, wand," he confirmed. "The apparatus used to deliver the anesthetic?"
Again, he sighed, a long-suffering sound.
"I just, uh, used this." She held an eyedropper aloft. "See, I filled it
up and squeezed in drops. You know, until they stopped moving. It took
If Jubilee hadn't known better, she'd have sworn that Hank choked on his
own spit. "Miss Rogue You are supposed to saturate the wand with
anesthetic, place it in the tube for approximately two minutes, then
She was very quiet and very still. "Oh."
"I'm afraid you've killed your fruit flies. Again," he added.
He was immediately sorry for his uncharacteristic lack of tact. Rogue's
eyes began to well up with tears.
"Okie dokie," Jubilee interjected. "I think we've had enough science for
one day." She took Rogue's shoulders and turned her away from the lab
table. "We'll try again later, huh?"
Hank tried to smile kindly at the dark-haired girl who'd only been at the
school for several weeks. "Rogue, everyone experiences occasional mishaps
in the laboratory." His smile grew wider as he laughed silently at his own
If only they knew.
The young woman they called the Rogue, however, wasn't listening. She was
whispering miserably to Jubilee. "First I accidentally mixed the medium
with ethyl alcohol instead of water "
"Hey, so you loaded them up on vodka, so what? They died happy."
Rogue shook her head. "Then I put too much yeast in the tube, and gave
them all carbon dioxide poisonin'."
Jubilee bit her lip. "Okay, that was a little worse "
Rogue's slight shoulders slumped. "And now I've Flynapped them to
death. I *suck*, Jubes."
"Hey, hey. It's been a rough couple of weeks. You don't even have to *do*
this right now, you know. Genetics class can wait. You need to relax,
girl. Give yourself a chance to get oriented."
Hank stepped up to them. "I quite agree, Miss Rogue. Now, if you'd truly
like to stay in line with the rest of the class, then I have a
suggestion. I'd very much like for you to do a bit of research for me."
She swiped her hand across her cheek. "What kind?"
He pondered that for a brief moment, hoping she wouldn't realize he was
flying by the seat of his pants. "In the latter part of the twentieth
century, geneticists became aware of certain beneficial mutations that
occur in humans. I'd like for you to find an example of one and write a
short report on the mutation and its benefits."
Jubilee was formulating a humorous comment about her sparklies when Rogue
nodded and said, "You mean like sickle cell anemia."
It was Hank's turn to blink. "Pardon?"
"Sickle cell anemia," she repeated slowly. "People afflicted with the
disease are less likely to contract malaria from mosquitoes. Scientists
believe that, from an evolutionary standpoint " She trailed off, then
furrowed her brow.
Jubilee gaped openly. "Jesus. Someone's on Jeopardy overload. Repeat
after me, babe - Alex Trebek is the Antichrist."
Hank ignored Jubilee. "I see you've been doing research on this already,"
"No," she denied. "I don't know how I " Her eyes grew wide. "Logan."
Hank had been in California on personal business when Rogue had arrived at
the school. He'd rushed back, but had missed meeting the mysterious man
called Logan. Jean, however, had briefed him on the events that had
transpired, including Rogue's absorption of the Wolverine's powers - and
his personality, apparently.
It would seem that Scott had grossly underestimated the man's intelligence.
Jubilee kept gaping at Rogue. "Great. If Logan had to watch a late-night
Learning Channel special, why couldn't it have been one about fruit flies?"
Hank shot her a quelling look and nodded at Rogue. "Sickle cell
anemia. I'll expect your report tomorrow. In the meantime," he added,
"why don't you retire to the common room? It's two o'clock."
"What happens at two o'clock?"
Jubilee nudged her with an elbow. "The Prof heckles Judge Judy. It's
*hilarious*. Let's go."
I don't want to be a geek groupie. Though I'd like to go on record as
saying right now that I think the world needs more of those.
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