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FIC: Choices, 15/?, R/NC17, W/R R/G W/f

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  • fyrdrakken@JUNO.COM
    DISCLAIMERS REPOSTED IN PART 0 * * * I swore I would love you to the end of time So now I m praying for the end of time To hurry up and arrive Cause if I
    Message 1 of 1 , Dec 26, 2001

      * * *
      "I swore I would love you to the end of time

      So now I'm praying for the end of time
      To hurry up and arrive
      'Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you
      I don't think that I can really survive
      I'll never break my promise or forget my vow
      But God only knows what I can do right now
      I'm praying for the end of time
      So I can end my time with you"
      — "Paradise by the Dashboard Light," by Meat Loaf

      * * *

      "You can’t keep hiding from your wife forever."

      Logan lined up his shot, made it. "Not forever," he muttered absently, as
      though this conversation wasn’t knotting the back of his neck with
      tension. "Just until she gives up and goes to sleep for the night."

      "Poor baby whose wife wants to actually have *sex* with him sometime in
      the next decade." Marie shifted from sarcasm to curiosity in the space of
      a breath. "Why exactly are you so opposed to just — giving her what she
      wants? I guess I can see you’re not the faithful type — " Logan shot her
      a penetrating look " — but I don’t think she’d mind as much if you were
      at least *with* her while you’re with her, if you get what I’m saying."

      Logan flubbed his next shot, too much attention on framing his response
      and not enough on framing his shot. ["I don’t trust her not to have
      another kid to tie me down even further"? Nah, not that big a
      consideration and she’d probably just tell me I should talk about it with
      Cissy, or remind me how much I love Max and ask if another one would be
      such a bad thing to have. "She keeps nagging me about it — *big*
      turn-off." Nope, I do all the *other* shit she nags me about, just to get
      her off my case.] In a quiet tone, "I’m just not interested anymore." It
      was the most understated phrasing possible of the big reason, the actual

      Marie shook her head ruefully, picking up her own cue. "I can’t say much
      for your attention span, then, if two years is enough time for a goddess
      like *that* to bore you so completely." Oddly enough, Logan looked
      genuinely unhappy at that statement. Examining her own words for some
      clue to what he was reacting to, she concluded, "You’re just not made for
      long-term relationships, are you? If it weren’t for Max, you wouldn’t
      have any reason to stay married."

      Annoyed, "If it weren’t for Max, we never would have *got* married." [And
      we’d both be a lot happier.] In a calmer tone, "I don’t think it’s fair
      to say I’m not cut out for long relationships when the only one I’ve ever
      *been* in was with someone I never wanted to keep around in the first

      Marie smiled humorlessly as understanding set in. "Lesson One: Having
      one-night stands over and over with the same woman makes it *real* easy
      for her to mistake them for an actual relationship."

      He sighed. "*Now* you tell me."

      "Well. Too late for *that* advice now — you’re stuck with her. Unless you
      just go ahead and get a divorce and put yourselves both out of your

      "Believe me, once Max hits eighteen — or as to close to it as I can stand
      to stick around for — I’m gone. Well, divorcing Cissy, anyway — I’m not
      cutting *him* off."

      Marie sighed a little. "That’s great for Max, but not so fair for Cissy.
      I mean, marriage isn’t supposed to be just until the kids are grown —
      it’s supposed to be a lifetime commitment, growing old together and all
      that." [Good thing for *me* — otherwise Remy and I wouldn’t have any
      reason to stay married...]

      Logan gave her a measuring look, possibly sensing her own underlying
      regret and the reason thereof. Steering clear of her own child-related
      disappointments, he said, "Marriage means different things to different

      "So, that’s it. You’re just going to cut her off — in her forties, with a
      grown son, and suddenly she’s got to find a new partner or spend the rest
      of her life alone?"

      Logan frowned. "She’s got a healing factor — she won’t have really aged
      that much. It’s not like I’d have taken up all her good years..."

      "Yeah, but you’d both have wasted a couple of decades. Why not just break
      it off now, if you’re going to? Save yourselves both a lot more pain and
      trouble, set yourselves free before things get any worse."

      He shook his head, still frowning. "I married her because I wanted to be
      sure Max had a father growing up. I care about doing right by *him*, not

      "Logan, you’re not a deadbeat. You’ll be around to take care of Max
      whether you’re married to his mother or not."

      "I’m not just talking child support — which I’m sure Cissy would tear out
      of my living hide if I *didn’t* pay — I’m talking about *being there*.
      Playing catch, camping trips, teaching him to drive and fight and

      "Joint custody — "

      " — assumes that Cissy would be willing to share him with me, or that I
      could convince a judge that someone with a shady past, near-criminal
      record, and lack of visible means of income — who, oh yeah, isn’t even an
      American citizen — deserves equal time with his son. And I’m not talking
      weekends and summers here — I’m talking about living under the same roof,
      at least as much time as he gets with his mother. And I don’t want to
      settle for just half his time, either, but if I split with Cissy I’d be
      lucky if I got *that* much." He cut his tirade off, grimly.

      Marie looked taken aback. Of *course* he’d put a lot more thought into
      this than she had — it had been eating away at him for longer than she’d
      even realized that a problem existed. "You don’t think — she’d leave the
      X-Men if you split up?"

      "I think she’d leave the *state* — go back to Wisconsin, or maybe even
      out to California. There’s another little superhero group out there
      that’s higher profile than we are, and I heard they’re recruiting. They’d
      *love* to get her on their team — she’s scary in a fight and photogenic
      as hell the rest of the time." He set his jaw grimly, game forgotten.

      Too absorbed in the conversation to even think of reminding him that it
      was his turn at the table, Marie said, "So basically if you want to stay
      in Max’s life, you have to stay in Cicely’s as well?"

      "Afraid so."

      "Well — have you tried learning to live with her? I mean, figuring out
      ways to sort of — ease the tension a little?"

      "That’s what I’ve *been* doing — shut up and do what I’m told at home,
      and get away whenever I can."

      "Except for the sex. You haven’t been ‘doing what you’re told’ *there*."

      "No, and — " sigh " — I’m really just not interested in her anymore."
      [Well, actually "repulsed by her" would be more accurate than "just not
      interested in her any more"...]

      "Well, couldn’t you — " lowering her voice " — just pretend she’s someone

      Logan gave her a half-smile. [If only she knew...] "That’d work right up
      until I called her the wrong name — but things’d pretty much go downhill
      from there."

      Marie winced. "Right. Good point."

      "And then she’d probably make *me* be the one to get the bloodstains out
      of the sheets afterwards."

      Marie giggled, not realizing that he hadn’t really been joking.

      * * *

      She Whose Quotations Are Both Exotic and Appropriate
      Keeper of his Deadly Startle Reflexes, Guardian and Examiner of the
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