Reap The Wild Tree PG-13 1/1
- Title: Reap The Wild Tree (Movieverse)
Author: RocketJ (rocketjnycb@...)
Category: Comdey (hopefully)
Summary: Logan chaperones the kids on a trip to find cut down the
mansions's Chrstimas tree and well....you know :-).
Disclaimer: Marvel you're broke, I'm broke, we're all broke. It
woudl cost you more to sue me than you'd ever get and I will fully
accede they all belong to you and not me.
Feedback: My patented "Fugu me, man!"
Archive: If you want it feel free, just drop me a note and tell me
where it's gonna live
Author's Notes: It's that time again! This would loosely be a
sequel to "Devil in My Egg Nog," "Jim Beam is My Valentine,"
and "Erin Go Blah." My husand was my Beta on this one so blame him
for any errors!
For DD and all the WXF crew.
Logan stood in the school's garage angrily pacing back and forth in
front of one of the SUV's. He looked at the clock on the wall. It
was already 1:30! Dammit, he'd told those kids one o'clock, no
later. Didn't they know it got dark early in the winter and the damn
tree farm wasn't going to stay open all night! They had to get up to
the farm and choose a tree (which would probably take all afternoon
knowing them) before it got dark. He'd reminded them half a dozen
times at least that the farm they'd chosen was an hour and half away.
He turned at the sound of loud chatter and stomping footsteps coming
from the stairwell leading up to the mansion. Here comes the Wild
Bunch, he thought ruefully. Iceman, Pyro and Gambit accompanied by
Jubilee and Kitty were all talking and gesturing at once. Rogue
followed behind them quietly. They were all wrapped in a motley
assortment of parkas, tasseled scarves and pom-pommed hats (Cripes,
who dressed kids these days?) since it had already snowed in Columbia
County, their eventual destination.
He had crankily questioned Rogue as to why they had chosen a
Christmas tree farm that was practically in Albany when they had some
perfectly serviceable ones right in their own backyard here in
Westchester. She patiently told him that she and the others had been
over every web site of every tree farm within driving distance of the
school and this one had everything; a live Santa, sleigh rides,
refreshments and a large variety of trees. She'd also informed him
that they'd chosen him to be their chaperone because he was "Canadian
and probably knew all there was to know about cutting down Christmas
trees." How could he argue with that?
This whole "cutting down and taming the wild tree" thing had been
Marie's idea in the first place and after she'd gotten the okay from
Xavier how could he turn her down? She'd asked so sweetly and looked
at him with those big soulful brown eyes of hers. He'd never been
able to deny her anything since that first day he's stopped to pick
her up on the road. He wasn't about to start now. And since this
was probably the closest he'd ever come to parenthood he'd learned to
accept that she had him wrapped around her little finger. He just
wished her loud friends and that shifty boyfriend of hers weren't
included in the bargain.
"You okay, Marie? You look a little pale?" He asked as she climbed
into the passenger seat next to him.
"What, Logan? Yeah, I'm ok, just have a bit of a sore throat today."
"Maybe we should do this some other time. If you're getting sick I
don't want to drag you around a cold field all afternoon."
"No! If we don't go this week all the good trees will be gone! We
can't wait until next week because the plan is to put the tree up
How could argue with that kind of logic...and the soulful brown eyes?
"Whatever you say, darlin'," he said dubiously and shifted the truck
into reverse. As he turned to check the space behind him he caught
sight of Jubilee loudly cracking her gum and blowing bubbles.
"Let's get something straight," he said sweeping them all with a
patented Wolverine glare, "I don't want any singing. No 'John
Brown's Body,' no '99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall,' nothing! And if
you don't wanna listen to the classic rock station, I suggest you
pull out your Walkmen because I ain't taking any requests!"
He nodded curtly to keep himself from smiling at the satisfaction he
got watching them all cower back into the seats.
The trip to the farm was relatively uneventful except for Bobby
shoving a snowball down the back of Remy's jacket and the Cajun
retaliating by incinerating Bobby's portable CD player. He'd growled
at them and opened the window to clear out the stench of melting PVC
and the rest of the ride proceeded quietly.
Upon their arrival Santa greeted them with a hearty "Ho Ho Ho" that
made Logan want to string him up by his red suspenders and give him a
very painful wedgie.
The girls all gathered around while St. John took pictures of them
with the jolly old elf. He contented himself with retrieving the
tree saw from the back of the truck.
"Geez, Wolvie! That's what you're gonna use?" Jubilee yelled
incredulously, pointing to the tree saw. "Id've thought the big bad
Wolverine would use his adamantium claws or something. Or at least a
hatchet for some rustic atmosphere."
"Can it, Lee," Logan growled.
Marie grabbed a map, which indicated the fields for each variety of
tree. After careful consultation, the kids decided they wanted a
Fraser Fir since according to Kitty they smelled the nicest had the
best needle retention and Logan had given his begrudging approval as
the most knowledgeable woodsman out of all of them. He couldn't
figure out why the kid even cared since she was Jewish.
Of course the Fraser Fir field was at the complete far end of the
property necessitating the obligatory sleigh ride in an honest to
goodness horse drawn sleigh, complete with bells, which made a
circuit of the entire farm dropping people off at whatever field they
wanted to visit. He rolled his eyes as Marie tried to drag him onto
the sled and told her he'd walk and meet them there. A slight grin
curved the side of his mouth as she and the other girls giggled and
started a rousing chorus of "Jingle Bells" as the sleigh pulled
away. He was still concerned that she looked a little pale and
reminded himself to make sure she was all buttoned and bundled when
he met up with them.
He arrived at the field to find all hell had broken loose in the ten
minutes they had been without him. Bobby was busy building an
elaborate snow fort. St. John had built them all a fire to stay
warm, which was a great idea except anyone passing by would wonder
why the hell there was no wood burning. Jubilee and Gambit were
running around 'decorating' trees. She was paffing madly into the
needles and Remy was balancing charged cards on the ends of the
branches. They had a couple of trees close to the point of
combustion. Kitty was phasing in and out of the trees trying to get
the "all around view of the bare spots." And in the midst of this
chaos, Rogue was eyeing trees with the look of a connoisseur.
"Judas Priest!!!!" Logan roared. "Are you six out of your Milk Dud
They all stopped what they were doing and stared at him mouths agape.
"Don't you realize that anyone can walk by and see you all using your
powers? This ain't the woods, as much as you'd like to pretend it
is. It ain't even close. It's a FARM where they grow these things
so people who've never been to the woods can pretend they've gotten
back to nature and judging by the crowds in the parking lots we're
not the only ones here trying to live the fantasy.
"So you," he pointed at Bobby, "ice down those damn trees the flake
and the Cajun almost torched. Pyro, put that fire out! Kitty stay
the fuck still."
When everyone had done as they were told and stood before him
properly subdued, he nodded.
"Alright, now let's get a freakin' tree and get the hell out of here!"
"Gosh, Logan. You don't have to be so loud about it!" Marie huffed
at him. "If they didn't know we were mutants before they sure as
hell do now with all you're yellin'."
"I'm sorry, Marie. I didn't mean to yell. I know this means a lot
to ya and I'm really trying to go along with it like a good sport for
your sake, but you know what kind of riot could take place if people
saw them using their powers."
She pursed her lips and looked at a spot somewhere over his left
shoulder and nodded, then turned to join her friends.
Shit. He'd fucked up big time. He spoiled a "Marie day" and he
always felt lower than dog shit when he did something like that.
He'd have to make it up to her big time.
Being the resilient kids they were they bounced back from his
scolding almost immediately and were soon running around like crazed
banshees checking out trees.
Bobby surreptitiously made an ice slide and perched at the top of a
tree in the beatific pose of an angel.
"What do you think about this one?" He called down.
"Bobby! Get down from there now!" Kitty hissed, warily eyeing a
momentarily distracted Logan.
"Drake you've got no taste! That tree is all scrawny on top and has
a big naked spot in the back," Jubilee told him disgustedly. "Why
don't you guys just stay out of this and let us women handle it?"
This brought gasps of outrage from the boys, particularly from Remy
who couldn't imagine anyone questioning his taste about anything.
As Logan had suspected this bickering and haggling went on for almost
an hour. They had gotten him down on his hands and knees at least a
dozen times ready to make a cut when one of them would shriek and
stop him because they'd found a better tree.
Next year, he vowed, next year I'll be far away from Westchester when
Christmas comes around and this will all be One Eye's problem!
Finally, finally Marie gave her final approval and he cut down the
tree that would grace the Xavier's School for Gifted Youngster's
parlor in all its dead glory.
The three boys dragged it back to the front of the farm and paid for
it while the girls followed along behind.
He caught up to them just as the boys were securing the tree to the
top of the truck. The girls were all drinking hot chocolate out of
Marie had opened the passenger side door and was sitting on the
He approached her. "So it all turned out ok, eh?"
She looked up at him, face white as a sheet except for two scarlet
spots on her cheeks. He could see her eyes looked glassy and he
became slightly alarmed.
"You feeling ok, Marie? You look a little flushed."
"Actually, I'm not feeling very well Logan."
Alarm bells went off in his head. He'd heard that before several
times. He took a cautious step back but it was too late. Rogue, his
little Marie, was doubled over ralphing all over his feet. He
gingerly held her hair back while she emptied the contents of her
stomach in the pristine snow.
The other kids just stood rooted to their spots. Bobby blanched
white, flashbacks of St. Patrick's Day running thorough his brain.
Logan gently lifted Marie into the passenger seat and felt the heat
of her skin through all her layers of clothing. Poor kid had the flu
and hadn't wanted to spoil anyone's day. Meanwhile he'd spoiled hers.
He turned to the other kids.
In an unnaturally calm voice he said, "Alright everyone, back in the
car. It's time to go home now."
Damn! He knew once he got Marie settled back at the school One-Eye
was gonna have a field day with this one. Bastard! He could hear him
now - "Logan the puke magnet." He'd have to make sure to get Scotty
some nice thumbscrews for Christmas!