More Than That
By Nadja Lee 26/11/01
English is not my native language. Please forgive me my mistakes.
Disclaimer: X-men and all the characters here belong to Marvel, 20 Century Fox and I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.
Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.
Timeline: Set in the movie universe. After the movie
Universe: Set in the movie universe; NOT the book which goes with it.
Romance: Scott/Kitty, Logan/Rogue
Summary: Kitty thinks about loving an older man
Archiving: Want, ASK, take, have.
Feedback: Yes, please. My e-mail address is neh@...
Dedicated to Leah with love and thanks.
I watch you so often. I notice the small things; things she ignores. I can see when youre sad or displeased. Normally you see such things in peoples eyes but I can see them in the tightening of your jaw, the way you move your lips
the fibre that vibrates in your cheek. It is so obvious to me so why cant she see it?
Ive known you for two years now and Ive loved you just as long. I try to hide it but it seems everyone but you knows. Ororo thinks its kinda sweet, Jean hates me like the plague and has already let me fail her class once (redheads sure have some temper), Xavier is concerned and you
you seem as clueless as only a guy can be.
It pains me to see you hurt; it pains me to see you with her. She hurts you with everything she does and especially what she doesnt do. How can she hurt you so? Dont hold on to her, whats the use? She gives you nothing yet you give her everything. Dont live like that, dont hurt like that when you deserve so much more. You seem so sure of yourself but beneath the surface I know there is a scared and frightened little boy who thinks he deserves no better love than what hes getting.
Thats not true. You deserve a lot better. You always thinks of others before yourself, your first thought, your first concern are always anyone but yourself.
Im not sure I could say in one sentence or even in one lifetime why I love you. There are so many reasons. Its the way you smile, the way you take care of me, the way you make everything work at the school yet no one says thanks but everyone will complain if something doesnt work, its the way you hide your pain, its the way you try to protect everyone but yourself from danger, its the way you seem like a small boy I want to protect and a strong man wholl take care of me all at the same time, its in the way you move your hands when you explain, its the way you try to hide your colour-blindness, the sweet way youll try and ask for something specific without mentioning the colour
..its everything you do.
Ive asked Rogue what to do. She should know. Her situation was a lot like mine last year before Logan returned. The love she didnt know if he returned, the way most of the teachers disapproved
the way you feel so isolated and alone. But Logan did return and he did love her. He just came back one day and told her that he had finally admitted to himself that he loved her so the rules of society be damned. I wonder if Scott can
and will do the same? He tries so hard to get the approval he never got as a child
would he suffer the same scorn as an adult as he did as a child
. for me?
Rogue says I only have to wait and see. Hell come around. Jubilee says I should take the first step. But I dont dare. What if he doesnt feel the same? What if I make a fool of myself? What of Jean? Does he love her? Even after all she has put him through; the way she hurts him, ignores him, steps on his feelings and flirts with others
. does he still love her enough to keep forgiving? When will he say stop? Does he dare to say stop or is he too afraid to be alone? Loneliness
is the scariest thing there is and I understand all too well the fear for it. What if
So many uncertainties.
But, God, I wish hed come to me. I wish hed open up. Then Ill take him in my arms and tell him;
Ill you love much more than that.