Ficlet: Holy Hell!
- Title: Holy Hell!
Summary: �Tis a silly ficlet.
Rating: PG-13, for irreverence and language
Author�s Notes: Okay, this idea came to me from a conversation with Jonas.
Went something like this:
A: Yes, one of it's earlier memories of being nearly drowned by one's
J: And relatives looking on with amusement in their eyes...
It�ll make more sense later, promise:)
Okay, I�ve only been here for six weeks and already I want to leave. I
mean what is it with this place? More freaks than a freak show. First off
I spent way too much time being poked and prodded by this red headed thing.
Hasn�t she ever heard of limitations? There�s only so much a person can
Then there�s this annoying guy with these strange eyes. He always looks so
smug. What the hell for? He can�t even see for cryin� out loud! And he
always talks to this really hairy guy that I see a lot, so I think he�s
important. The eye man is annoying though. Soon as I�m able too, I�ll
knock those stupid things off his head. See if he leans over me again.
Oh there�s this other one that is just real good, and gentle with me all
the time. She has kind of weird looking hair, but I like her so I�ll keep
her around. Only thing that annoys me is she makes me wear these stupid
little torture things. They�re all pink, and I�m sure they�re some kind of
evil thing. Doesn�t she understand that we�re not supposed to wear clothes?
If we were, I woulda had them where I stayed before.
Let�s see who else. Oh there�s this one thing, cause I don�t really know
what it is cause it�s all yellow all the time. The rest of the giants
change color, but the one in yellow is always the same. And she�s loud too.
Got mad when I screamed in here ear once, that�s what she sounds like
Anyway back to the leaving thing. I thought that at least some of them
were good, like the weird haired one and the furry guy, but not after today.
First off the weird one put some stupid thing on me that was like 80 times
as long as me, then the took me to some holier than thou place. It was
annoying, and this scary guy dressed in, well a dress tried to drown me! I
thought the hairy guy would try to stop him, but he didn�t and the strange
one just told me to shhhh. You �shhhh� when someone is trying to drown
All those other people were around too, and they just sat there and
laughed. I guess they think it�s funny when someone is drowning. Stupid
things, I�ll get �em all.
And then as soon as I learn how to walk, I�m outta here. I mean it. Least
out there aren�t attempted drownings and stupid pink dresses.
No One Expects the Spanish Inquisition! -Monty Python
Why must I be surrounded by frickin' idiots? -Dr. Evil
Scully: That was Detective Manners. They just found you're bleepin' UFO.
Scully: Mulder, your sister called. Just kidding :)
Cliff O'malley: I really shouldn't be driving you know. My license was
Josh: Oh? Why?
Cliff: For attempted vehicular manslaughter, whatever the fuck that means!-
Dead Man on Campus
Lt. Valley: How can I be sure that you're really here? How can I be sure
that these mashed potatoes are really real?
Mulder: I can only assure that they and I am real.
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