By Nadja Lee 01/12/01
English is not my native language. Please forgive me my mistakes.
Disclaimer: X-men and all the characters here belong to Marvel, 20 Century Fox and I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.
Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.
Timeline: Set in the movie universe. After the movie
Universe: Set in the movie universe; NOT the book which goes with it.
Summary: In dreams anything is possible
Archiving: Want, ASK, take, have.
Feedback: Yes, please. My e-mail address is neh@...
Dedicated to Bani with all my love. Youll live on in my heart forever. I love you.
I see her, you know. Every night, every time my head touches my pillow she comes to me like a memory from dream or an Angel from above. There is no sweeter torture than this. When I reach for her she disappears and fades away. Shes like fragile glass; hold on too close and she breaks and leaves you with broken pieces of glass digging painfully into your flesh.
.in dreams anything can happen yet still I keep loosing her. I try so hard to keep her with me but she keep slipping away.
I talk with her but she never answers me. I wish she would. When I say Im sorry I wish shed say she forgives me. When I say I love her I wish shed say she knows
I need to hear those words. I need to be certain that she knows.
My heart hurts but my own thoughts hurts me the worst. All the doubts I have, all the uncertainties. Did she know I loved her? Did she know how much she meant to me? Did I tell her? Did I do everything I could for her? Did I miss the signals she was sending me? Did I? Did she know?
Ive thought about talking with someone about this but I dont know whom it should be. Who would understand? Every time I forget her death for just a minute I feel ashamed and like Im betraying her memory, if Im happy for just a moment I feel like Im dishonouring all she meant to me. But on the other hand; do I mourn her for her sake
or my own?
I dont know. I dont know anything anymore. But I do know this; every night in my dreams she comes to me. All dressed in white she floats over the floor and stands beside my bed. I try not to touch her though all I want to do is take her in my arms. Her lips move but I cant hear the words. I try so hard to hear them but I cant. Why cant I hear her? Is it a sign? That I didnt listen to her when she was alive? Is it a warning so I wont do it again?
I dont know. But I do know that though seeing her brings tears to my eyes Ill die without her in my life.
I wish the nights would last forever so Ill never be forced to leave her again. So I could always be with her.
So, I put my head to my pillow and close my eyes and waits for her to reappear. A smile curves my lips when I see her and this time I swear; Ill not leave her. Not again. Never again. I promised Ill take care of her and that I will
.that I will.
And my eyes stay closed forever.