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Fic: "Why Is It So Hard?" PG-13 (1/1) [Logan/Rogue]

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  • Nadja Lee
    Why Is It So Hard? By Nadja Lee 23/11/01 English is not my native language. Please forgive me my mistakes. Disclaimer:
    Message 1 of 2 , Nov 27, 2001
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      Why Is It So Hard?

      By Nadja Lee 23/11/01

      English is not my native language. Please forgive me my mistakes.

      Disclaimer: “X-men” and all the characters here belong to Marvel, 20 Century Fox and I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.

      Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.

      Timeline: Set in the movie universe. After the movie.

      Universe: Set in the movie universe; NOT the book which goes with it.

      Romance: Logan/Rogue

      Summary: Why is it always so hard to say those 3 special words?

      Archiving: Want, ASK, take, have.

      Feedback: Yes, please. My e-mail address is neh@....

      Rating: PG-13

      Sequel/series: None

      Part 1:

      Hey, lov. You look beautiful as always. I’ve missed you. *Grin* Yeah, I know I saw you yesterday but I still missed you.

      The others don’t like this, you know. Me seeing you I mean. Strange, I always figured that if Scooter even gave a damn he’d warn you of me and not the other way around.

      ‘This is no good for you. You must stop seeing her,’ he told me the other day. Can you believe that? Like I give a damn what he thinks. I know, darlin’, he means well but he has no right interfering in my…our affairs.

      Well, enough about that. See what I brought for you. It’s the dress you wanted. Remember some time ago you showed me a catalogue and said you wanted this dress. I said it was too expensive and not worth spending money on. But now I brought it for you. Do you like it? It’ll suit you. Want to try it on? Yeah, you can do that later. I’ll just lay it here next to you.

      Is that a smile I see? Yes, it is. I love to see you smile; it always makes me happy. I never told you that? I meant to. I meant to say that. But you know how much you mean to me, right? Surely you must know. I don’t say it with words but…

      It’s beautiful out here. Sunshine and everything. So pretty; like you. Of course I find you attractive; how can you doubt that? No, don’t say that. I love everything I see. To me you’ll always be the world’s most beautiful woman. I haven’t said that before? I meant to. I meant to.

      Oh, Marie. I meant to say so much to you. So much. Why was it so hard? Why was I so proud? Why was I so afraid to get hurt when I know you’ll never hurt me? Never.

      Come here, lov. Yes, now I can tell you. Now I can say it. I love you. I meant to say it sooner. I don’t know why I didn’t. But I do love you and I always will. Always.





      Up at the mansion a single tear rolled down Scott’s cheek as he looked out into the sunlight garden and saw Logan sitting next to Rogue’s gravestone; talking with her as he had every day since her death 15 years ago.

      Some loves, Scott mused, really do last forever.



      The End
    • (no author)
      The Best Christmas Gift Ever By Nadja Lee 25/11/01 English is not my native language. Please forgive me my mistakes.
      Message 2 of 2 , Nov 27, 2001
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        The Best Christmas Gift Ever

        By Nadja Lee 25/11/01

        English is not my native language. Please forgive me my mistakes.

        Disclaimer: “X-men” and all the characters here belong to Marvel, 20 Century Fox and I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.

        Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.

        Timeline: Set in the movie universe. After the movie

        Universe: Set in the movie universe; NOT the book which goes with it.

        Romance: Logan/Rogue, Scott/Ororo

        Summary: Rogue writes a letter to Logan.

        Archiving: Want, ASK, take, have.

        Feedback: Yes, please. My e-mail address is neh@....

        Rating: PG-13

        Sequel/series: None

        Dedicated to Mels. Hope you like *G*

        Part 1:

        Beloved Logan,

        Dear Logan,

        Hi Logan,



        Great, I can’t even decide how to start this stupid letter. I knew this writing was a bad idea anyhow.

        ‘Writing is good therapy to get over ones pain,’ Jean had told me. Yeah, right. Okay, okay…. I’ll try.

        Let me see…. what would I tell you if you were here? Oh, now I know…

        ‘Where the Hell have you been?!’

        How was that? Or maybe,

        ‘It has been seven months since you left and you haven’t called, written or anything. Care to explain?’

        Better? No. Well, I have several. I do love this one,

        ‘ Remember this: I’ll take care of you…from the other side of the Goddamn planet!’

        Okay, okay…. deep breaths. Clam. I don’t think Ororo’s exercises are working for me. Calm…yeah. I’m calm.

        Okay, back to the writing thing. Hum, what can I tell you of interest? Clearly nothing of me since you haven’t cared to try and reach me…Bitter? Who me? Not at all. Note the sarcasm here, sugah.

        Oh, now I know. Jean and Scott broke up two months after you left. Bet that’ll make you happy. Scott began dating ‘Ro a few weeks back so he shouldn’t stand in your way no more.

        What else to say? Life is the way it used to with some changes. I still go to school; we have our own ‘Melrose Place’ drama going between the teachers and the students alike. The most excitingly thing was Jean and Scott’s break-up.

        Scott has taken me out on a few missions. At first he didn’t want me to go, he was afraid I’ll get hurt but I insisted and he let me come along. He’s not such a bad guy but I’ll wish he’d stop playing the Goddamn Good Samaritan. No matter what I do he always has an excuse for me to cover it up. Sure, everyone knows that a lot of my changes is due to the 3 voices in my head; yours, Magneto’s and…strange, I can’t recall his name any longer. The first and only boy I’ve ever kissed and I can’t even recall his name. He always was so quiet and sweet; his essence in my mind was the same way. I guess you and Erik must have drowned him out.

        At first it was strange having two so strong minds other than my own in my head but I’ve gotten used to it. At least now I won’t try and seduce Jean (thanks so much for leaving me with that, Logan. UGH) or try and convince Scott to join my cause. You are both fading but are never quite silent. Like an ever present whisper or a memory from a dream. On the other hand, Erik’s memories have helped me get A’s in Ororo’s history class….

        Erik and you are actually a lot alike. You both have so much pain and anger inside. Only Erik has found a goal, a way to channel it; you channel it towards all and no one.

        Hum…maybe I should absorb a woman to even up the score with you two males?



        Part 2:

        Damn it, Logan! Why did you also have to leave? What truths could you possibly find which were so important that they couldn’t wait a few months or years till we could go find them together?

        I still can’t believe you left me! You promised you’ll protect me and take care of me and you left me.

        I hate you!

        *Sigh* No, I don’t. I could never hate you. That’s what hurts so much. I love you. I love you so much it pains me inside.

        I’m getting all misty here. This shouldn’t be about me but a letter. To you.

        So, let me see… What else can I say? Oh, yeah. You’re gonna love this. Scott has gone missing. Two weeks ago he just left the mansion. Two weeks before Christmas and he took off just like that. ‘Ro was furious and we had thunder for days. I wonder where he went? Running isn’t his style…. more yours, isn’t it, Logan? Sorry, that was unfair. I guess you did what you thought was best. I just wish you’ll have stayed or at least talked it over with me first.

        Speaking of love…Bobby is still interested in me but I can’t say yes to him. Not when my heart belongs to you. That’ll be unfair to him. He really is a great boy…but I don’t love him. I love you. Sometimes I wonder why I do, why I can’t let you go but I can’t. I wish you had felt the same and stayed.

        Then there’s Scott…I don’t think he loves me as in he wants to date me but he cares a lot for me. A few weeks back when he was giving me driving lessons I accidentally bumped into his new motorcycle (he’s not mad at you about taking the old one btw. He just wants it back sometime). Strange thing is he wasn’t mad at me. I mean he was furious when Jubilee smashed the jeep…on the other hand she has smashed two jeeps already but still…Scott doesn’t like it when things break. Broken things needs fixing at once, that’s how he feels. Maybe that’s what I am to him; a broken mirror he feels he should try and fix?

        I hear Scott calling for me out in the hall. He’ll have to wait till I’m finished with your letter. There’s knocking on my door. Can’t he see I’m busy?

        “Go away,” I tell him.

        “Rogue, this is important. Please open the door,” he asks.

        “Get lost, One-Eye,” I say more harshly. I know the name calling pains him and I really don’t want to hurt him but I’m in no mood for company right now.

        “Not until you’ve seen what I’ve brought you,” he insists and I sigh. By now he has almost brought the entire mall for me to try and cheer me up. Why can’t he just leave me alone and let me be depressed and bitter?

        “Not interested,” I tell him.

        “This time I think you are,” he insists and before I know what has happened he has forcefully opened the door. I haven’t been giving his many exercises in the danger room enough credit.

        “What?” I snap, hoping he’ll soon go away. He smiles brilliantly at me and I frown. What’s he up to now?

        “Rogue…. this is your present. Merry Christmas,’ he laughs and moves to the side. Curious I look towards the door…. and what I see almost stops my heart.

        “LOGAN!” I scream and forget all I promised myself, how I’ll let him wait, demand an explanation…everything is forgotten as I see his face again. He smiles as he sees me. I throw myself into his arms.

        “Marie, it’s so good to see you,” Logan whispers against my ear and my happiness knows no bounds.

        “I love you, Logan,” I blurt out and forget my rule of waiting. He grins.

        “Lov you too, kid,” he says softly and I could have died from happiness. Over Logan’s shoulder I see Scott trying to sneak out the room.

        “Scott,” I say. He turns towards me. I move out from Logan’s arms and give him a hug. “Thanks,” I say warmly and hope he understands the deep in those words. He smiles.

        ”I just want to see you happy,” he says and puts a loose hair behind my ear. There is something in his voice I don’t quite get…sadness? But before I get to ask him he has left the room and is going towards Ro’s room, probably to try and explain.

        I turn back to Logan and first now do I notice that he has one black eye.

        “What happened?” I ask concerned and come to him and let my gloved fingers run gently over the damaged area. He takes my hand in his and kisses it.

        “Cyke showed me the way home. Quite literally,” laugher is in his voice as he gathers me in his embrace.

        “So, that was why he left,” I say out loud. “He left to find me…the perfect Christmas gift.”

        “Yeah…. the most perfect gift I could ever wish for,” he whispers and kisses the top of my head. “I should have returned sooner but I was afraid to hurt you.”

        “Your leaving was the greatest pain you could ever bring me,” I say as I hide my face by his shoulder and he puts his arms around me.

        “I love you, darlin’,” he whispers softly and I smile happily.

        “And I you.”



        This is really the most perfect gift anyone has ever brought me.

        Remind me to thank Scott……later.



        The End
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