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FIC: X2- The Writers Strike Back PG

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  • Kat Hunt
    TITLE: X2-The Writers Strike Back AUTHOR: Hunter aka KAT Hunt DISCLAIMER: All X-Men characters belong to Marvel. Blah blah blah… RATEING: PG SUMMARY:
    Message 1 of 1 , Nov 25, 2001
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      TITLE: X2-The Writers Strike Back
      AUTHOR: Hunter aka KAT Hunt
      DISCLAIMER: All X-Men characters belong to Marvel.
      Blah blah blah�
      RATEING: PG
      SUMMARY: Ahhhhhh�..gee�.I dunno. I guess some guys
      get together and toss some ideas around. You try and
      summarize this.
      EMAIL ADRESS: katduza@...
      DEDICATIONS: Thanks LT. For words of encouragement�
      ____________________________________

      �Okay. Picture this�
      Canada�s frozen wasteland. Winter. Snow everywhere.
      Cold, so cold that the trees explode from freezing
      sap. There is not a single animal to be seen.
      Snowflakes whip around on fierce winds��

      �Yes, yes� Get on with it, man!�

      �Alright. The camera focuses on our hero, Wolverine.
      Starting from where the previous film left off, our
      hero has found the compound that the Professor had
      directed him to, except� his archenemy, Sabertooth is
      there waiting for him! That�s the dude that Wolvie and
      the X-Crew beat up in the previe by the way. Anyways,
      we can do all that in quickie shots and angles in the
      opening moments of this film. Okay, where was I? Oh,
      yeah�

      So, seeking revenge for Magneto, Sabertooth, together
      with his Partner-in-crime, Mystique, ambush Wolverine.
      And Wolverine is caught! He is unconscious and held
      prisoner! And wait for it� his feet are frozen to the
      roof of an ice cave! It's Sabertooth's lair! Our boy
      Wolvie is hanging upside down with his feet frozen to
      roof of his archrival's cave! ISN'T THAT NEAT!!!�

      "Cough, cough. Ahhhh, yes. Neat, very. But when does
      the action start? This is supposed to be an action
      movie, after all."

      �Oh, yes, right. Well, the action begins as soon as
      our hero awakens to his predicament��
      -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

      �What the fuck!?� Wolverine stared at his frozen feet
      while trying to stop the odd sensation of all his
      blood sitting in his head. He was upside down and his
      feet were stuck to the ceiling of what appeared to be
      a cave. Arguing voices drifted towards his sensitive
      ears from the front of the cave.

      �Pussy cat and Blue Bitch must not be agreeing on
      something,� he thought. "Well, whatever it is, I�m
      sticking around to find out."

      Curling his spine to reach up towards his feet, Logan
      attempted to swipe at the ice that held him captive.

      �Arrrgh!� he cried as he fell back to his hanging
      position. He caught the gasp of pain as it left his
      mouth to muffle it some. There was something he hadn�t
      noticed when he woke up. An extremely large hunter�s
      knife was stuck in his side where Mystique had
      imbedded it. Logan's body had healed around it,
      stopping blood from flowing out and muting the pain.

      �Nice of them to leave that behind,� said Logan as he
      swayed upside down for a moment. Trying to center
      himself, Logan noticed something. The voices had
      stopped, and footsteps were now approaching his
      direction.

      "Now�s the time."

      Curling up again, Logan simultaneously yanked the
      knife out of his side and released his claws. He
      swiped at the ice at his feet and fell to the ground.
      Rolling upright, Wolverine had the knife ready for
      Sabretooth.

      ___________________________________

      �Right-oh, now insert one big vicious one-on-one
      battle. We can leave the details up to the
      specialists. Yeah, maybe hire what�s-his-name that
      trained Ray Whatchamacallit and Ewan So-and-so from
      that other flick. What the hell was that called? Oh,
      never mind. The point is there is lots of fur flying,
      lots of snarling, lots of testosterone everywhere.
      Battle ends with Sabertooth lying prone on floor.
      Wolverine closes in for final swipe and just as he is
      about to do it, Mystique steps in all sneaky like�

      �And just where was she all this time?�

      �Haven�t a clue. Though I'm sure we can figure
      something out. Anyways, Mystique walks in as Wolverine
      is about to finish off his old nemesis and she jabs
      him with a needle filled with... now get this... a
      killer virus designed to only kill those with the
      Mutant gene! Yeah, yeah! We can give it a catchy name.
      Maybe something from the already established canon,
      not that we�ve paid any attention to that drivel the
      last time, but the old fans didn�t seem to mind too
      much. So, what was it called now? Legally, larceny,
      Legacy? Yeah! That�s it, the Legacy virus. That�s what
      we'll call it. Be a dear and just jot that down,
      David, before I forget."

      "Yeah, yeah, sure, sure!"

      "Okay, where was I? OH, yes! So she sticks the needle
      in hoping to infect Wolverine with the virus thingy
      and in turn wipe out the rest of the X�ers, but just
      as Wolvie is staggering away, Sabertooth gets a finale
      swipe at him cutting a huge wound in his stomach.
      Wolverine staggers out and collapses in the snow.�

      �Wouldn�t all that swiping call for something more
      than a PG rating?�

      �And your point?�

      �This is supposed to be accessible for children.�

      �No problemo. We can just throw in some shadows and
      stuff, blur the stomach wound. Besides, Hugh�s facials
      are enough to carry the emotion of a gaping hole in
      his gut.�

      �Hmmmph, okay. Please continue.�

      �Okay, so Wolvie staggers outside into a snowstorm
      and��
      _____________________________________

      Wolverine collapsed face first into the snow. Blinded
      by the storm he can�t see three feet in front of him.
      The pain from his wound is was incredible. He had
      never felt pain like this before. Whatever Mystique
      had injected into him was impeding his healing factor
      from knitting the stomach wound together. His whole
      system felt like it was shutting down. He felt like he
      was shutting down. Wolverine hauled himself up trying
      to move forward.

      He staggered down an embankment of snow and fell to
      his knees again.

      �Logan?� Was that a voice?

      Wolverine lifted his head up.

      �LOGAN!� A small figure moved out of the driving winds
      and snow. She was followed closely by another person.

      �Marie?� Logan croaked out before succumbing to the
      pain and letting his body finally collapse.

      Dropping to the ground next to him, Marie cried, �NO!�


      Turning him over, she saw the wound and screamed for
      help, �SCOTT!�
      ______________________________________

      �Now that scene's got real appeal to the
      deeper-meanings-in-film addicts out there. The
      helpless girl who was saved by the indestructible man
      has now, in turn, saved him.�

      �Wow! I�m sure that will get this movie into some
      college curriculum.�

      �I�m going to ignore that comment.�
      __________________________________________

      The Blackbird flew gracefully over the frozen wastes
      of Canada, its crew searching for their lost team
      mates.

      Storm spoke into the mic, �Professor, I�ve stopped the
      snow, but I still see no trace of them.�

      �Keep searching, Storm. They are out there,
      somewhere.�

      Storm nodded absently to herself and continued to scan
      the ground below.

      Trying again she sent out a call hoping that it would
      be picked up on Scott�s small personal mic.

      �Cyclops, this is Blackbird. Do you copy? Cyclops,
      this is Blackbird.�

      Holding her breath, she waited, hoping for something,
      anything.

      Nothing.

      Storm was about to call back to the Mansion when a
      slight crackling on the mic system caught her ear.

      �Nice of you to drop by. Hope I didn�t get you up too
      early.�

      A grin cracked her face, �Storm to Xavier. I�ve found
      them! Repeat, I�ve found them!�

      Suddenly, a small glimmer from the ground caught her
      eye. Manuvering the jet lower, Storm caught sight of a
      small tent and a figure waving a signal to her.

      ______________________________________

      �So, the original X-Men were sent out to find
      Wolverine?�

      �That�s it exactly.�

      �But how did they know he was in trouble? And why
      where only two sent out to find him?�

      �Inconsequential details which can be glossed over by
      special effects... and marketing. Don�t worry about
      it.�

      �What about original designs? Is the Blackbird�s look
      going to be the same as from the first movie?�

      �We�re are currently in discussion over that. I mean,
      really, look at Batman. The Batmobile design changed
      in every movie. It got better all the time.�

      �You know it, buddy! Those hubcaps where pretty cool
      in the last film�all glowy-like.�

      �That�s right. And just picture how the Blackbird
      would look with some highlights on the wings or maybe
      aqua landers.�

      �Do jets have hubcaps? Someone call someone and find
      out. We�ll need to look at the budget. But as you were
      saying, now Wolverine has been rescued by his two
      friends who in turn kept him safe overnight during the
      snowstorm in a tent, and were then rescued by their
      friend in the jet. And, then what?"

      �Well, I�m thinking of a small scene with Wolverine in
      the Bacta tank.�

      �Bacta what?�

      �Bacta tank. It�s an idea I stole from another movie.
      But don�t worry, I've got all the lawsuits covered.
      See, the thing is, this Bacta tank looks a lot like
      the tank Wolvie was supposed to have gotten his
      metal-covered bones in from the original comics. So I
      thought by tossing the tank in to help him recover
      from his Sabertooth wounds� well, we get to cover the
      whole Origin of Wolverine episode at the same time.�

      �You mean screw Marvel over.�

      "Not 'screw' dear boy. The term is "creative
      utilization."

      �And then generally piss them off�?�

      �Yes, that�s it exactly.�

      �But what about the comics they�re busy releasing at
      the moment about that particular story line. I thought
      they were trying to thwart us?�

      �Don�t worry about that. I�ve already set in motion a
      legion of comic book collectors who will buy out every
      copy in existence. No one will ever see a single copy
      again!

      �Genius!!�

      �So�, back to the movie. After Wolvie has recovered
      from the Bacta tank, he flirts a bit with Jean to
      really annoy Scott, says �hi� to the Professor and the
      rest of the X-gang, and then I thought another battle
      scene was in order.�

      �I like that. Keep the action flowing. What did you
      have in mind?�

      �Two words- Giant Robots!�

      �Oh, yeah! What about Giant Robots on four legs, sort
      of a cross between a dog and a horse. Walking slowly
      and powerfully across the landscape towards the
      Mutants.�

      �Uhhh... no.�

      �Yeah and then they�wha?� What do you mean 'no'?�

      �Sorry, but the robots I have in mind are from the
      original comic story line. Sentinels. Giant purple
      man-like robots.�

      �Purple?�

      �Yes, purple.�

      �Excellent!. I like purple. Go on.�

      �Well, these giant purple robots have been designed to
      track and capture Mutants. And they can fly��

      - - -- --
      BOOOM!!
      KAPOW!!!
      SNIKT!!
      ARRGHHHHHH!!!!
      BOOOOOM!!
      GROWL!!
      BAM!
      CRASH!!!
      --- - -- -

      �Suffice to say that not much talking happens here.
      We�re just gonna have lots of things blowing up and
      with enough special effects to make even Spielberg
      wince.�

      �Correct. And if you turn to page 23 you�ll see some
      art work I�ve cut out from various strips to better
      illustrate what I have in mind for the action
      sequence. A Grande Finale of Storm managing to topple
      one of the giant sentinels by swinging a large rope
      between its legs as she flies circles around it,
      tripping it. Wolverine jumping onto the neck of one
      and ramming his claws down its neck to sever its
      functions. And while Cyclops is bravely defending the
      children, he gets captured!�

      �By a Sentinel?�

      �YESSS!!!! Isn�t that brilliant? Cyclops, the mutant
      whom Wolverine has major issues with, gets kidnapped.
      That forces Wolverine to rescue him. And not because
      he has to, but because deep down inside, Wolverine
      actually respects Scott. We can somehow get this
      across with single face shots, emotion sequences, and
      maybe hints of comradeship.�

      �So after the big battle with the robots, Scott is
      kidnapped by one.�

      �Yes�

      �Why?�

      �That�s a good question.�

      �And the answer would be...?�

      �They need him to get Magneto out of the plastic
      prison?�

      �Why?�

      �Because.�

      �Because, why?�

      �Uhhh�Because..., because we can have more special
      effects. Yeah, that's it!�

      �Humph! Okay, please continue.�

      �Okay, now Logan and the rest of the team are off to
      Australia to rescue Scott...�

      �Excuse me? Australia?

      �Well, Hugh Jackman, our leading man wrote a clause
      into his contract stating that he wouldn�t work with
      us again if he didn�t get to go home for at least one
      shot. Apparently this is his revenge for freezing his
      ass off in Canada the last time.�

      �Makes sense.�

      �Don't it just? That and I�ve always wanted to film
      there, but I digress. Visualize Australia!�

      �Are you sure Hugh Jackman is Australian?�

      �Excuse me?!? Yes, I�m sure. Why?�

      �Well, he doesn�t exactly look like Paul Hogan now
      does he�

      �����!!!�

      �There�s no need for you to look at me like that!
      Look, have you SEEN the bugs you get in Australia? I
      mean, really? The flies are tremendous!�

      "I'll get you a hat with corks hanging off the brim,
      okay?"

      "Well, okay then."

      �Cough! Anyway, as I was saying� OH, MY GOD!!!! I�ve
      got a brilliant idea for a dance scene! It just hit
      me. Before they get to Aussie Land, they send Jean
      over first on a recon mission to find more info on
      Scott�s location. She gets captured by a Mutant gang
      leader and is made into a sexy dance girl to humiliate
      the X-men!�

      �Hmmmm� Sexy dance girl! I like that! Skimpy little
      bikini number...�

      �And chains!�

      �Ohhhh, yeahhh, baby!!! Chains!�

      �Hasn�t got much point though. Other than besides as
      fuel for teenage wet dreams, that is.�

      �Do you have a problem with that?�

      �Hell no. Do you.?�

      �No.�

      �Good.�

      �Maybe we can even get Hugh to sing along in some of
      the scenes.�

      �Ya� think?�

      �Yeah. He was involved in some musicals a while back.
      Oklahoma, I think...�

      �Ooooooh, now that�s a great idea! Utilize the talents
      of all of our stars... Hey! Wait a sec. Did you just
      say �Oklahoma�?�

      �Uh, huh. Funny ain't it.�

      BUWAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Wolverine in Oklahoma! Lord
      that�s funny!�

      �But true!�

      �Stop it! Heeheeheehee! You�re killing me!�

      �Calm down, calm down. Anyway, so the team is in
      Australia and they are busy searching for Cyclops
      inside of Magneto�s Lair. Of course this is after they
      rescue Jean from the Mutant Gang leader. And let�s
      make that gang leader look really ugly. Maybe green
      and slimy, kinda like a slug. And let�s make Magneto�s
      Fortress in the clouds. All shiny and high tech as
      opposed to that icky cave he had last time. Reminded
      me to much of the Riddler's Island from Batman.�

      �Okay, I�m jotting this all down. Hey! Maybe we can
      hire some of those players from �Survivor: The
      Outback� to be extras. That would be so totally cool.�

      �Uhmmmm, you know, uh-uh. No, I don�t think so. I
      looked into that already and they come with real price
      tags these days. So, the X- team arrives at the
      Fortress in the clouds, and splits up to find Scott��

      _______________________________________

      Logan walked carefully down the corridor. All of his
      senses were at their highest state of awareness.
      Sabertooth had been this way. He could smell it. His
      mic spoke softly into his ear.

      �Wolverine. We have Cyclops on board the Blackbird.
      Fall back. Repeat, fall back. We have Cyclops. Mission
      is complete.�

      �No way, darlin�,� Wolverine growled softly into his
      mic. �I�ve got some unfinished business here.�

      He knew Storm could hear him, but she didn�t answer.
      The scent of his enemy grew stronger as he turned the
      corner.

      �Sabertooth.� Logan bared his teeth as he growled out
      the name, his claws extending at the same time.

      �Wolverine. So nice to see you again,� Magneto stepped
      out of the shadows where he had been concealed behind
      Sabertooth.

      Wolverine cursed. He had been so intent on nailing
      Sabertooth that he hadn�t even noticed the cross
      currents of air. Cross currents in which the scent of
      another enemy could easily hide.

      �As I recall, you and I have some unfinished business
      to attend to,� Magneto�s hand twitched slightly.

      Sabertooth grinned as Wolverine slammed against the
      wall and the first of many metal objects was sent
      hurtling towards him.
      __________________________________

      �Oooh, I like that. Lots of things flying around.
      Wolverine swiping at them with his claws.�

      �He can�t swipe because he is magnetized against the
      wall.�

      �Well, then unmagnetize him!�
      ___________________________________

      Wolverine fell to the ground, as Magneto released his
      hold on him.
      _____________________________________

      �That�s better. So he is swiping away at the things
      Magneto is hurling at him.�

      �And then Magneto gets bored of playing with him and
      sends an object through the big glass window which
      Wolvie is standing oh so conveniently near.�

      �I can see it now! It causes a vacuum that sucks
      Wolvie through it!�

      �Oh, man! We are on a roll!!�

      ______________________________________

      Magneto watched dispassionately as Wolverine dangled
      from a strut.

      Walking away, the Master of Magnetism called to
      Sabertooth.

      �Come, Brother. It�s time to leave.�

      Sabertooth cast a glance at Magneto, �I have something
      to do.� He growled.

      Magneto stopped and looked back briefly before moving
      on, �I won�t wait long.�

      Sabertooth nodded.

      __________________________________

      �I�ve got a Perfect twist for the plot now�Just turn
      to page 34.�

      �Okay.�

      __________________________________

      Sabertooth reached out a clawed hand to Wolverine.

      �Fuck you,� was his response. �I don�t need your
      help.� Wolverine tried to scramble up, but his
      leverage was wrong.

      Sabertooth tried another tactic.

      �Join us, Wolverine. Your future lies with us. You
      know this to be true,� he hissed.

      Baring his teeth at the large furball in front of him,
      Wolverine snarled, �I�ll never join you!�

      �Logan.�

      Wolverine ignored him.

      �Logan, look at me.� Logan jerked his head and glared
      at Creed.

      �Xavier never told you the truth, never told you
      everything he saw in your mind.�

      �He told me enough.�

      �Logan� I am your father.�
      ____________________________________

      �Oh my god!!! Really?!?�

      �Shushhhh��
      ______________________________________

      Stunned, Wolverine stared in disbelief. The full
      revelation of what had just been said rocking his
      senses.

      �No, no! That�s not true!� Logan shook his head.
      �That�s impossible!�

      �Search your instincts. You know them to be true.�

      Shaking his head in denial, Wolverine screamed,
      �NOOOOOO! Nooo!� .

      �Join me. Together as father and son we can put an end
      to this destructive conflict,� Sabertooth again
      reached out his hand,�� and rule the earth!�

      Wolverine hung his head. His whole body felt like
      lead. �Why Professor? Why didn�t you tell me?�
      _______________________________________

      �Wowzers! The fans will never guess that.�

      �Total stunner.�

      �Yeah, totally. So, what happens then? Does Logan join
      him?�

      �Nahhhh, I�m thinking that at the precise moment
      before Logan can say anything, the X-Men, led by
      Storm, burst onto the scene. So the audience will
      never know how Logan was going to answer.�

      �Oh, goody! Suspense, I like that. We can carry that
      over to the next sequel.�

      �I�m also thinking of adding in a bounty hunter along
      the storyline somewhere. Played by a guy called �Vin
      Diesel�.�

      �Vin Diesel? Who the hell�s that?�

      �No idea. But while I was trawling the female fan
      sites for ideas, I noticed a definite craze over him.
      Thought it would be a good idea. You know, even more
      pulling power.�

      �You were trawling the sites?!?!�

      �Yeahhh, so?�

      �You�re a bald, fat, middle aged guy. What were you
      doing trawling female fan sites?�

      �Look�are you happy with the plot or not?�

      �Oh, well, yes. I think it�s gonna work.�

      �Alright, then. Let�s take it down to the board and
      see what they say.�

      �Okie-Dokie. Hey, by the way, do you think they could
      get me Hugh Jackman�s autograph?�

      �I don�t see why not. We did write him off to
      Australia.�

      THE END

      ROLL CREDITS


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