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FIC: Don't Do the Laundry

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  • Autumn Biggins
    Title: Don t Do the Laundry Author: Autumn E-mail: eddievedderismylife@hotmail.com Summary: What s the gift that keeps on giving? Rating: PG Author s Notes:
    Message 1 of 1 , Nov 21, 2001
      Title: Don't Do the Laundry

      Author: Autumn

      E-mail: eddievedderismylife@...

      Summary: What's the gift that keeps on giving?

      Rating: PG

      Author's Notes:

      Logan POV stream of thought kinda thing

      Okay, before anyone asks where the hell this bunny came from, I'll tell you.
      This really happened to me today, on Wednesday November 11/21 2001.

      Okay. So it's Thanksgiving break here and there is nobody in the dorm. A
      good time to do laundrey right? Right. So I go down to the basement and go
      over to the quarter-sucking machines and low and behold not a soul is down
      there. Do you kow how strange that is for a building that houses 300+

      So I merilly plop my clothes into the wash and head out to do some other
      stuff. About 50 minutes later I went back down to the basement and lo and
      behold, my clothes were already in dryers!

      I left again and didn't think much about it. Until I went to retrieve my
      clotehs. They were dry so I put them out on the table and began folding.
      Then, I realized something odd. All my bras and thing underwear was
      missing! Who steals underwear anyway? Who?!

      So that's the story behind this story. I'm going to catch that thief,
      though it was nice of him/her to throw the rest of my clothes in the


      I've been dating Marie for three months now. Christmas is tomorrow and
      I didn't get her anything. It's not that I forgot, it's just that I
      couldn't decide what to get her. She says she has everything she needs.
      Food, clothes, me. Heh, I thought about getting her a clone of myself, but
      I don't think they exist yet.

      Damnit I even let Jubilee drag me to the fucking mall. Was there for
      three hours, nothing. Kitty showed me how to shop on-line with a credit
      card and shit, but nothing seemd to fit. It has to be something real good.
      I mean this is our first Christmas together so it's important.

      Scott suggested perfume. That's just dumb. Buyng someone perfume is
      like saying, "here you fuckin' smell bad." Course this was right after a
      mission. Heh, wonder if Jeannie knows she's engaged to a brain-damaged
      geek. Then again, she's not the tallest tree in the forest either. Her
      sugesstion was a box of chocolates. That one puzzled me. I thought all
      women were worried about getting fat, so why give them something fattening?
      I gotta check into what school Jeanie got her degree from, I'm starting to
      think it was Bull Shit University.

      Ororo had a pretty good idea, but it won't work until after Christmas.
      She said to take Marie to this place in Mexico that has a hanging garden.
      So we're gonna go there, but I don't think a plane ticked under the
      Christmas tree is really good enough as a whole Christmas thing. So, I
      still have to find something special, and I have 7 hours to do it. It'll
      have to be creative. Even 7-Eleven has to close some time.

      So, what should I- ow! Damnit. Who the hell leaves a sweater in the
      middle of the fucking hallway?! Ew, smells like Remy. Stupid slopy Cajun.
      Damn, I wonder if he can even wash that spicy shit cologne he uses out of
      his clothes-

      Hey. Marie told me once that doing laundry is her absolute least
      favorite thing to do on the planet. Any time she made a bet with her little
      friends, she said that their punishment was doing her laundry for a month if
      they lost. She got out of doing laundry for an entire year. Jubilee and
      Kitty finally stoped betting against her, and Marie whined about that for
      five minutes. I think, but I kinda lost track of time cause I was busy
      staring at,I mean listening. Yeah, that's it. Listening to her talk.

      I'll do her laundry for her for Christmas. I know that'll mean a lot
      to her. Just gotta sneak into her room first. Shouldn't be hard, she sleeps
      like a rock.

      Yeah there we go, one hamper of laundry coming up. Detergent's down
      there, and so is that other stuff. The one in the sheet.

      Okay. Xavier doesn't skim on anything. Even his washing machines are
      state of the art. Christ, no wonder she hates doing laundry. It could take
      someone a whole year just to read the different cycle settings on this damn
      thing. To hell with it, Eine, minee, miny..

      Damnit. Everyone will be downstairs in 20 minutes, and her stuff is
      still in the dryer. Kay, shit, Now I'll have to just shove her clothes
      into a box and tape it together. Well, it's mostly dry. Whoa, smells real
      flowery. Maybe I shouldn't have used a whole box of dryer sheets. Hey, I
      don't remember her having a sweater that color. Must be new.

      Twenty minutes later.............

      Heh. I did pretty damn good. She was shocked as shit when she saw
      that ticket, makes me happy to know she's happy. Can't wait to see the look
      on her face when she opens that bo-

      "Logan, didn't anyone tell you you can't wash colors and whites together?"

      Shit. She looks kinda pissed. Maybe it'll help if I told her I'll
      buy her all new clothes for when we go to Mexico.

      Oh, huggin' me real good there. Knew she'd be into that. So I ruined all
      her clothes, big deal. Fuck Mel Gibson, I know what women want. But
      better yet, I know what Marie wants, and that's all that counts.

      No One Expects the Spanish Inquisition! -Monty Python

      Why must I be surrounded by frickin' idiots? -Dr. Evil

      Scully: That was Detective Manners. They just found you're bleepin' UFO.

      Scully: Mulder, your sister called. Just kidding :)

      Cliff O'malley: I really shouldn't be driving you know. My license was
      Josh: Oh? Why?
      Cliff: For attempted vehicular manslaughter, whatever the fuck that means!-
      Dead Man on Campus

      Lt. Valley: How can I be sure that you're really here? How can I be sure
      that these mashed potatoes are really real?
      Mulder: I can only assure that they and I am real.

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