FIC: Don't Do the Laundry
- Title: Don't Do the Laundry
Summary: What's the gift that keeps on giving?
Logan POV stream of thought kinda thing
Okay, before anyone asks where the hell this bunny came from, I'll tell you.
This really happened to me today, on Wednesday November 11/21 2001.
Okay. So it's Thanksgiving break here and there is nobody in the dorm. A
good time to do laundrey right? Right. So I go down to the basement and go
over to the quarter-sucking machines and low and behold not a soul is down
there. Do you kow how strange that is for a building that houses 300+
So I merilly plop my clothes into the wash and head out to do some other
stuff. About 50 minutes later I went back down to the basement and lo and
behold, my clothes were already in dryers!
I left again and didn't think much about it. Until I went to retrieve my
clotehs. They were dry so I put them out on the table and began folding.
Then, I realized something odd. All my bras and thing underwear was
missing! Who steals underwear anyway? Who?!
So that's the story behind this story. I'm going to catch that thief,
though it was nice of him/her to throw the rest of my clothes in the
I've been dating Marie for three months now. Christmas is tomorrow and
I didn't get her anything. It's not that I forgot, it's just that I
couldn't decide what to get her. She says she has everything she needs.
Food, clothes, me. Heh, I thought about getting her a clone of myself, but
I don't think they exist yet.
Damnit I even let Jubilee drag me to the fucking mall. Was there for
three hours, nothing. Kitty showed me how to shop on-line with a credit
card and shit, but nothing seemd to fit. It has to be something real good.
I mean this is our first Christmas together so it's important.
Scott suggested perfume. That's just dumb. Buyng someone perfume is
like saying, "here you fuckin' smell bad." Course this was right after a
mission. Heh, wonder if Jeannie knows she's engaged to a brain-damaged
geek. Then again, she's not the tallest tree in the forest either. Her
sugesstion was a box of chocolates. That one puzzled me. I thought all
women were worried about getting fat, so why give them something fattening?
I gotta check into what school Jeanie got her degree from, I'm starting to
think it was Bull Shit University.
Ororo had a pretty good idea, but it won't work until after Christmas.
She said to take Marie to this place in Mexico that has a hanging garden.
So we're gonna go there, but I don't think a plane ticked under the
Christmas tree is really good enough as a whole Christmas thing. So, I
still have to find something special, and I have 7 hours to do it. It'll
have to be creative. Even 7-Eleven has to close some time.
So, what should I- ow! Damnit. Who the hell leaves a sweater in the
middle of the fucking hallway?! Ew, smells like Remy. Stupid slopy Cajun.
Damn, I wonder if he can even wash that spicy shit cologne he uses out of
Hey. Marie told me once that doing laundry is her absolute least
favorite thing to do on the planet. Any time she made a bet with her little
friends, she said that their punishment was doing her laundry for a month if
they lost. She got out of doing laundry for an entire year. Jubilee and
Kitty finally stoped betting against her, and Marie whined about that for
five minutes. I think, but I kinda lost track of time cause I was busy
staring at,I mean listening. Yeah, that's it. Listening to her talk.
I'll do her laundry for her for Christmas. I know that'll mean a lot
to her. Just gotta sneak into her room first. Shouldn't be hard, she sleeps
like a rock.
Yeah there we go, one hamper of laundry coming up. Detergent's down
there, and so is that other stuff. The one in the sheet.
Okay. Xavier doesn't skim on anything. Even his washing machines are
state of the art. Christ, no wonder she hates doing laundry. It could take
someone a whole year just to read the different cycle settings on this damn
thing. To hell with it, Eine, minee, miny..
Damnit. Everyone will be downstairs in 20 minutes, and her stuff is
still in the dryer. Kay, shit, Now I'll have to just shove her clothes
into a box and tape it together. Well, it's mostly dry. Whoa, smells real
flowery. Maybe I shouldn't have used a whole box of dryer sheets. Hey, I
don't remember her having a sweater that color. Must be new.
Twenty minutes later.............
Heh. I did pretty damn good. She was shocked as shit when she saw
that ticket, makes me happy to know she's happy. Can't wait to see the look
on her face when she opens that bo-
"Logan, didn't anyone tell you you can't wash colors and whites together?"
Shit. She looks kinda pissed. Maybe it'll help if I told her I'll
buy her all new clothes for when we go to Mexico.
Oh, huggin' me real good there. Knew she'd be into that. So I ruined all
her clothes, big deal. Fuck Mel Gibson, I know what women want. But
better yet, I know what Marie wants, and that's all that counts.
No One Expects the Spanish Inquisition! -Monty Python
Why must I be surrounded by frickin' idiots? -Dr. Evil
Scully: That was Detective Manners. They just found you're bleepin' UFO.
Scully: Mulder, your sister called. Just kidding :)
Cliff O'malley: I really shouldn't be driving you know. My license was
Josh: Oh? Why?
Cliff: For attempted vehicular manslaughter, whatever the fuck that means!-
Dead Man on Campus
Lt. Valley: How can I be sure that you're really here? How can I be sure
that these mashed potatoes are really real?
Mulder: I can only assure that they and I am real.
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