FIC: Whatever 1/1
- Title: Whatever
Summary: "The truth is that I don't really care."
Rating: PG-13, language
Notes: I'm upset, it's a bit dark. Also, blame Matt for this
one. His beautifully, angsty "Thoughts" put me in the mood to write
Logan isn't going to come back. I know it and Scott knows it
too. Jean isn't going to be back either, she left with Logan.
Whatever. Two narcissists deserve each other; there really isn't
anything to debate about that. I don't care anymore. I just wish
Scott could see it that way.
He doesn't understand that people like us can never be
happy. I mean, he can kill with a look and I can kill with a touch,
doesn't really qualify either of us for social success. Whatever.
The looks I get from the rest of the mansion are starting to
piss me off. 'Oh Rogue, how terrible.' 'Poor dear.' 'You'll find
someone better.' No shit sherlock. Logan is pretty much a bastard.
I mean yeah, he did save my life, but not for the right reasons. He
did it to impress Jean; I saw that in my head.
But they are wrong on one account. I won't find someone
better than Logan. I won't find anyone at all. People are afraid of
me, and mutants are terrified. I'm like a piranha in a tank of
goldfish. They're all afraid I'll brush up against them and drain
their precious life away. Again I don't care. Whatever.
The one thing I did learn from Logan is to only trust
people as far as you can throw them. That way when they fuck you
over at least it isn't a surprise. Take Scott for example, he loved
Jean- a lot, more than his own life probably and look where it's
gotten him. He just sits around now, his body tense with rage and
fighting a Logan simulation in the danger room. He's beaten Logan 12
times now. He's fought Logan 12 times. I think if Scott ever sees
Logan again he'll kill him. Whatever.
I had a crush on Logan for a brief time, who wouldn't? But
that's not the point. The thing is I knew what I was getting into.
He's a slut, a bastard, and to be blunt a complete dick. Logan comes
first in his book, and that's how it is. Still, he's damn hot, so is
I'm getting sick of the stupid little remarks made about what
a fucking Greek tragedy this all is. There isn't any subtext to what
happened, or some great conspiracy, it's simple really. Logan and
Jean are attracted to each other. They acted on that attraction, and
that's it. Scott and I got left behind. Na-na-na hey life goes on.
Don't get me wrong, what they did hurt a lot of people, I'm not
saying that it didn't. The professor was disappointed because his
favorite, Jean, acted in a way that went against his view of her,
perfection, rationality and selflessness. Jean isn't a bad person
for it or anything; she just let lust cloud her judgement for
awhile. Logan, I have less tolerance for. He knew how much Scott
cares for Jean and he chose to gratify his own wants and ignore
Scott's feelings completely. That makes him much guiltier in my
book. Guilt, innocence, justice, lust, love, revenge, whatever.
Despite what many think, I'm not leaving here because I'm so crushed
by Logan's rejection of me, Christ, I never was stupid enough to
assume that he had any romantic intentions toward me. He wanted to
fuck me, yes, but I'm not into his one-night stand type of
lifestyle. It wouldn't have worked for wither or us; Things are
better the way they went down. We got what we wanted, well Scott
didn't, but I think he'll come out of this a stronger and less naive
person for it.
I got the most out of this little experience. I learned how the
world really works, and a recipe for living. You can't change the
inevitable, but you can deal with it in a variety of different ways.
Things happen, you accept them and move on, or you hang onto them
until they consume you in a fire of rage and furry. What's done is
"The Sweeter the sin, the bitter the taste, in my mouth."-U2
" I see a girl of the night with a baby in her hand
Under an old streetlight next to a garbage can
Now she put her kid away and she's gonna get ahead
She hates her life and what she's done with it
That's one more kid that'll never go to school
Never get to fall in love, never get to be cool"
-Rockin' in the Free World, Neil Young
"In this life, there are nothing but posibilities."-Empire Records
Lucas: Waren, look what you took. Rap, metal, rap, metal, Whitney Houston?
Waren: Its for my girlfriend.
Lucas: Sure it is. A guy like you needs to diminsh his criminal impulses,
not magnify them!
- Empire Records
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